Hi and hello, readers! This story is a song-fic, but I assure you that there will be no connection between singer and character. The song is Paper Tigers by Owl City. Somehow, I've always found this song fitting for Miyano Shiho. Enjoy, and tell me what you think of this story in the end ^.^
Well I've been huddled up alone
By the fire even though
I'm not exactly feeling cold
Ai sipped her tea. Alone at the Professor's, she was feeling quite calm for once. There were no loud noises of chemicals burning and bubbling, no sound of petri dishes falling from their not-so-neat stacks, no sound of water trickling from newly washed bottles and cups. There were none of the Detective Boys with her, so there were no noisy shrieks from nosy, interested children, no boisterous screeching of games, nothing. Kudo-kun wasn't there either, so there were no sounds of suspense, no hint of mystery, and no talk of Ran.
And I've been bundled up for days
Too confused to be amazed
At all the icy water in my veins
She distracted herself by gazing into her cup. She took a deep breath and smelt the tea leaves. The color of faded brown met her eyes immediately. She blowed, and the reflection of light overhead bounced, like her fragile soul, so easily blown away by the slightest gust or breeze. She took another sip, and the sweet mixture of the tea calmed her. Surveying the cup again, she looked into the depths and noticed some of the tea leaves at the base of the cup. They were on one side of the cup, forming the shape of a crescent moon.
Why do I feel so alone?
Continuing her observation, she found a speck of sugar close to the tea leaves. It was one that did not blend with each other, like her. She never was one that could mix in with everyone else; while her friends dissolved into a void, she stood out alone like a dandelion in a basket of cherry blossoms. Even before all this, she was a raven in a flock of crows. No matter how hard she tried, she knew she could never be a part of the group.
Yeah I've been moving in and out
Of this old split-level house
And I'd just as soon burn the whole place down
Watching as a pinch of the tea leaves began to spin, she kept her eyes trained on the one bit of sugar. It did not budge. Yes, it was sweet, made to lessen bitterness, like she was. But she failed in her task, while others prevailed. The tea leaves continued spinning. Some of them slowed down until they resided, and now they created a shape that depicted a ring.
'Cause I quit working lumberyards
To build a mansion out of cards
But I feel thin behind these paper walls
The heat of the tea began to melt the tiny sugar orb. Even if it tried to be useful, like her, the efforts of it would take something from her as well. Trying to be birds of a feather with others was never easy for her. She felt a strange bond with the sweet sugar diamond. Finally, she snapped her head up to scrutinize the Professor's house. The walls would never be enough to keep her safe.
Why do I feel so alone?
Sighing, she stirred the tea with a silver spoon. The color reminded her of something for a moment, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Her eyes blinked, trying to recall the word, but it didn't come to her.
'Cause the angriest bark is always worse than the bite
Like the ache in my chest that my heart didn't invite
But if the prettiest romance isn't perfectly right
That makes every love lost just a holiday every night
What did come to mind was a certain someone ; Shinichi Kudo. He could be annoying at times, being a pain in the neck, but other times he was a savior. Rescuing her multiple times when she didn't deserve anything... Ai deserved death. That was what she thought. And Shinichi had almost died each time he tries keeping her aloft. Holding her above the line of death. That was what she saw Shinichi as.
Well I've been painting through the night
In the basement out of sight
Brushing paper tigers black and white
Ai imagined herself, creating death itself with a black brush. Strokes of dark colors across her canvas, she could've Brough Shinichi – and herself as well – to grisly deaths. And then there was another color. White. A color of purity, a color devoid of evil and negativity. It definitely wasn't her color, but maybe it was Shinichi's.
'Cause come tomorrow afternoon
I'll fill a helium balloon
And set them free into the baby blue sky
The souls that she had set free, perhaps they were haunting her. Usually, a day of sipping tea would have calmed her down. What was she feeling, and why was she feeling it? She couldn't identify this particular trigger that kept her heart throbbing, letting her stay alive even though she didn't want to.
So they won't have to be alone
The poor boy, Shinichi only saved her because he needed her help to make the antidote, right? He loved Ran. Not Ai. Ran was his age, too, and acted that way. Ai didn't act like a kid, not even like the average adult. Shinichi had once called Ai as an 'evil-eyed yawny girl' and he was probably right. Ai was worth every filthy name thrown at her. She wouldn't give a hint of denial.
'Cause the angriest bark is always worse than the bite
Like the ache in my chest that my heart didn't invite
But if the prettiest romance isn't perfectly right
That makes every love lost just a holiday every night
She had no one to live for. Perhaps when her job was done and Shinichi was satisfied, she could finally rest and get rid of herself from this unforgiving, mystic world. Nobody cared for her. She was just... well, a puppet that would soon be worn out and lifeless.
But when I close these heavy lids after dark
Each sweet dream is a target
And all my shots are so consistently wide of the mark
If she was an archer sent to bring a doe down, she would have failed, killing many innocent animals on the way. And she had, too, taking lives even though she couldn't bring down her true enemy. Her task was possible, she just didn't do it.
Was all this her fault?
But how my heartache hit the trail
When a paper tiger tail
Fluttered down, I guess I'll never know
Reviews are very well appreciated :)