Disclaimer: I do not own lotr...

Authors note

This is my first time putting a story on FF(.)net so please go easy on me ^^'

Summary: My OC end up in the Lotr world. I suck at summary's so if a sarcastic twit ending up in the Lotr world and bringing chaos wherever he goes (And quite a few scratches) Is you cup of tea then by all means enjoy. ^^ Otherwise you can read something else.... Maybe a pairing later I'm not sure (frowns)

Once again Please be nice ^^

EDIT: I'm rewriting this story.. I have read it over a few times and I have discovered that I am quite dissatisfied with it. There will probably not be any major changes made. Just righting spelling mistakes and editing some small stuffs that is bothering me. Right now I'm finished with this chapter.

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Chapter 01: Bloody PICKLE!___________________________________________________________

James P.O.V

Hi. I'm James Hegworth. I am 18 years old. And currently I'm very chocked. You want to know why? I think I just died. You know hit the bucket, the eternal rest kind of a thing? Want to know how I know? Well, one major clue is probably the body that's lying before/under me. The dead body. That looks like me. Another big clue is probably that I'm floating in the air. And is slightly transparent… I can see the floor trough my hand… Cool… I wonder if I can touch things? No! Stupid brain stop wandering! I have a major problem lying right in front of me. Or rather a few meters under me…This is kind of freaky… But you know what really bugs me? No? The way I died. I mean why couldn't I die in some cool way. Like being run over by an train. Or drowning. Heck I would even prefer being killed or something. But noo. I just had to die in the probably most embarrassing way ever! I mean who the hell dies choking on a pickle! A bloody pickle! Goddamn pickle. If I ever see that pickle again I'm going to mutilate it. And it's parents. And it's grandparents. And it's bloody cousins! *Sniff*. Stupid pickle. But enough with the rambling. Even if I have the right to ramble cause I probably just died! *Cough* Now I need to find out what to do with that. You know what I mean.

The body that's starting to go cold under/in front of me? But.. Hey! Maybe I'm not dead yet! Maybe I'm just in a coma or something! Maybe I'm just having an out of body experience thingy? They have talked about those on the TV. I will have to check for a pulse and breath. But the big question was.... How would I get there? I'm actually floating a couple meters up in the air. And about two meters up from the floor. Maybe I should try swimming down there or something? I tried waving my arms and legs a bit and thankfully moved a few centimeters forward. Yes it works! I started to determinately waving my arms arms and legs and was soon just above the maybe/maybe not corpse. Now, how would I get down there? I tried waving my arms and legs in all possible directions and before I knew it I was hanging upside down in the air. Okay.. This is reeally freaky… I slowly started swimming down. It's working! As I got closer and closer to the body I started doubting that my body really was in a coma. My face was a bit blue and I wasn't moving at all. Oh well. Can't hurt checking?

I put my ear next to my mouth… my body's mouth.. Damn this sounds weird. I focused my hearing on the maybe/maybe not corpse? Yup no breathing. A corpse. Wait.. Does this mean I'm dead....? FUCK!!! After a bit vicious pickle cursing I focused on my regretfully dead body. I studied it a bit since I'm bored... Man, even though I'm dead I'm still looking damn good. Except for the blue bit. But the blue is gone now thought.. My hair was long silky ink black hair put up in a ponytail with a few slings of hair framing my face. Big blue eyes open and looking a bit glassy and being framed in thick black eyelashes. Thin arched eyebrows and high cheekbones drawing attention to my eyes. My mouth is also nice. My skin is a peachy white and my fingers are long and slender, my legs too and I have a thin waist. I'm 1.76 cm tall and was often told that if I wasn't so damn obnoxious and sarcastic and overall mean I would probably have more friends. Currently I have one. And that one would probably not even count as a friend. It's a reeally creepy fangirl stalker…

I swear that girl is going to be the death of me.. Wait I'm already dead…. I know that sucked but I'm dead. I'm allowed to crack crappy jokes. *sulk* Oh well. Just as I was about to continue contemplate on my sudden 'deathness' a loud scream disrupted my thoughts. I looked in it's direction. GAH! It's the Creepy Fangirl! In the outer door entrance stood a girl. On her head was a cap which said 'I love Jamie ;D' and on her white t-shirt there was a photo of me with the words 'Jamie's nr 1 fan.' in pink curvy letters. Wait a minute... How the hell did she get in here? Wait.. IS THAT A KEY!! SHE HAS A KEY TO MY HOME!! OMYGOD!! No one can tell what kind of creepy things she has done in here. AND TO ME? Well, at least she won't do it anymore. Unless my body….? Nononono. Back away creepy thoughts! And she's saying something. Or rather screeching he though dryly.

''OMG JAMIE OMG I WILL CALL FOR HELP OMG YOU WILL BE OK OMG OMG OMG'' She yells too much…. Besides I'm already dead. What can she do? It seems that she is calling 911.. Hmm. Better plug my ears.

''OMG JAMIES HURT COME HERE QUICKLY OMG WERE AT SEMSTREET 334 OMG COME QUICKLY OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG'' Yup was right. Man that chicks got a healthy pair of lungs. And that girl got to stop saying omg. She hung up on the phone. Then she rushed to my side and GRABBED MY BODYS HAND!! Gah! Man that girl never wastes an opportunity to touch me! Goddamn weirdo....

''DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT JAMIE STAY OUT OF THE LIGHT!!'' What the heck? Goddammit! Can she stop screaming already!!

''DON'T DIE!! THEN I CAN'T WATCH YOU SLEEEP ANYMORE!!'' Wait what?

''AND STEAL YOUR USED HAIRBRUSHES!!'' Heh?

''AND SEARCH TROUGHT YOUR USED LAUNDRY!!'' Wth...

''AND STEAL USED UNDERWEAR!!'' WHAT!

''PLEASE DON'T DIE I WANT TO LOVINGLY GAZE AT YOU THROUGH MY BINOCULARS AGAIN!!!'' I swear you freak if I was alive right now I would sooo have you arrested! But not that they would listen to me anyway. *Sniff* I have asked for help with that little creep thousands of times but they just ignore me. Stupid creepy fangirl! Stupid pickle! *Sniff* Oh it seems the ambulance is here. Fast. Not that I will need it. I'm dead. The ambulance men burst in trough the door. Geez! Haven't they heard of knocking?

''Where is the one hurt!?''

''HERE HERE OMG SAVE HIM SAVE HIM!'' one of the ambulance men quickly walks up to my dead body and check for pulse and breath. I can't believe creepy fangirl couldn't even do that. Incompetent idiot.. After a while he looks up at the other and shakes his head. Then he looks up at creepy again.

''I'm very sorry but the young man is dead.'' Told you so! Hah! Wait, I shouldn't be so happy right? I mean he just said I'm dead...

''NONONONO YOU'RE LYING JAMIEEEEE!!!'' SHE'S HUGGING ME!!! HOLY SHIT SHE'S HUGGIN ME!! SOMEONE STOP HER NOW!! GYYAAAAAH!!!!.... My poor poor abused body… The ambulance men dragged her of me thank God!… Then they called the police.. The police snooped around a bit, with me watching them of course, but didn't find anything suspicious so they assumed I died of natural causes. *Thank God* I never want someone to find out that I died because of a pickle! And I was buried. There was a big funeral and a lot of people were crying. I don't know why. Seriously I didn't know even half of them! They are probably just after my riches. Didn't mention I was rich? I'm really rich. Bloody people won't get any money thought. My will says to give them away to children in Africa, orphanages and shit. Better poor orphans get it than rich bastards. *Snicker* Then it all was over. My body was buried and stuff. What am I supposed to do now?

Am I just supposed to sit here on this bloody gravestone for the rest of my undead life? Just as I was literally dying of boredom a brilliant white light came out of nowhere and blinded me. I quickly shielded my eyes with my arms while my mind was screaming *What the fuck!!?* When I opened them again I stared shocked. I was in a huge glass room. And when I say glass room I mean glass room. Everything was made of see trough glass. Even the floors the walls and the roof were made of glass. You could see a clear blue sky through the roof and fluffy white clouds beneath your feet. As I was floating about a meter above the floor it seemed as if I was flying in the sky. Around the room delicate rose vines made of glass were crawling up along the walls and the pillars that were scattered around the room. The glass roses were beautiful and looked fragile.

The room was lighted brightly so everything was glimmering slightly. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and turned my head. In the end of the glass room there was a long glass platform and on the platform there was a long table. The table was also made of glass and on seven huge beautifully crafted glass thrones sat seven persons. Some of them were really pretty. But not as pretty as me I noted smugly. There were three woman and four men. And… I did a double take. The really pretty ones had pointy ears? Okaaaay. Definitely NOT human. My attention was snapped to the middle one when she started speaking. It was a woman with long straight black hair and black eyes, and pointy ears. She was wearing an brown armor and had a sword strapped to her side.

''Hello human we have called you here because you have a great destiny in front of you. A destiny that only you can fulfill'' I stared at her.

''Uh but I'm kind of dead? I can't do much'' I answered and looked at her like she was dumb. (Which I think she was BTW) Another started speaking. It was a man with long straight blond hair and green eyes. He also had pointy ears and wore green clothes of a light airy material. He sat to the left of the middle woman.

''We know that you are dead. You had to die to be able to fulfill the destiny'' James interrupted

''Wait wait wait. So it's this destiny's fault I died choking on a pickle?' I heard a snort of laughter. I stared down the person who laughed. He had the decency to blush. I coughed.

''Hrm. so what's this 'Great' destiny about? '' Another spoke. It was the person who had laughed before. He sat at the right of the woman in the middle. He had brown wavy axel length hair and brown eyes. His ears were not pointy. His clothes were brown and black.

''We will not and cannot tell you. You will discover your destiny by yourself. ''

''But I'm still a ghost? I can't do anything or touch anything. And no one will see me, well except you people of course.''

''We will give you the Valars gifts''

''Valar?''

''The gods of Middle Earth''

''You're the Valar?''

''Yes''

''Cool''

''…...''

''So what's Middle Earth?''

''Another world''

''Oh…''

''…....''

''Sooo, I'm going to this Middle Earth place?''

''Yes''

''Well whaddya know''

''Excuse me?''

''Ah nothing…. So gifts?''

''Yes, the Valars gifts.'' The woman in the middle rose up.

''Let's begin. For this you must be unconscious. Because it will hurt a lot.'' I glanced at her nervously but said.

''Okay'' The Valar in the middle snapped her fingers and suddenly I felt dead on my feet. (I'm still allowed to crack crappy jokes thank you very much!) I drifted off to sleep and the last thing I heard was

''Good luck with your destiny young James.''

Valars P.O.V

James was slowly and gently lowered to the ground. The Valar in the middle spoke with her hand over James sleeping spirit body

''I will give you life. The life of my people. The life of immortality. I will also give you knowledge. Knowledge of the elven language.'' As soon as the last word left her lips a shining ball of light fell from her hand and was absorbed into James body. Instantly he changed. His body wasn't see trough anymore and his skin had a healthy glow instead of the gray tone it had before. The middle Valar sat down again. Next the Valar on her right side stood up. He raised his hand over James and said.

''I will grant you grace, The grace and lightness of the our race. I will also grant you the sharp eyes and ears of our race. May it lighten your load.'' Another brilliant ball of light fell from the Valars palm. As soon as the light was absorbed James changed again. His ears stretched out to be pointy and his features became more graceful and he became even more beautiful. The right Valar sat down and the left one rose. He looked at James.

''Oh my. He will have to beat people off with sticks. Poor boy '' He put his hand over James and said

'I will give you ability. The ability to talk to any animal and also the ability to become any animal of two certain races yourself. The felines and the birds. May you use it well '' James absorbed another shining ball. This time James got a slightly feline look. He became even more graceful and was probably very lithe. His nails changed and became sharper, longer and darker. You could also see a small pair of fangs sticking out a bit out of his mouth.

''It seems like we are done, shall we send him on his way?'' The left Valar said as he sat down.

''Yes, let's send him.'' James body was enveloped in a soft white light and he disappeared from the room. The Valar looked at each other.

''Let's hope that he fulfills his destiny.'' One said sadly.

''Yes. For otherwise. It's the end of Middle Earth.'' Another one replied just as solemnly.

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P.S. If I offends someone who had a close relative dying of choking on a pickle I'm sorry ^^'