I AM NOT DEAD. HERE IS PROOF. I wrote something for you. n.n

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Disclaimer- Eat slugs.

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Don't Die for Me, Just Live

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Fight, fight, fight, fight….left, right, duck, block….fight. That was all. That was all she had to do. All day long. A log stood for her to demolish. Kick, kick, kick, punch….she didn't really feel the hurt. It didn't really bother her. Not really. Blood was okay now. She wasn't going to have a fit. Just because he almost died didn't mean she should cry. Almost died. So close. But he didn't.

Scream and cry. That's what happened to her at night. She cracked and sobbed and buried her screams in a pillow full of white. The dreams would wake her, haunt her, stab her in the gut and twist. But it was okay. She was okay. She would cry it all away and wish there was something warmer for her to curl up in besides a blanket. But the morning would come and she would wash her face, don new clothes and pretend like everything was better.

But he had almost died, and she loved him. She wouldn't let it happen again. She would be strong for him, save him when he had saved her so many times, and then she would accept his smiles because she knew she had actually done something good that time. But not yet. She needed to smash that log into the ground before she could let him thank her for anything.

She decided to visit him in the place where it smells of too much clean and sheets are blindingly white. And there was so much blood, too. The nurse was nice enough, the poor old man in the elevator was nice enough, but this place was still scary as hell. She walked slowly down the hallway, advancing on his door. He was all bandaged up. He wouldn't be able to fight for months after his release…and all because he had to step in and take the blows for her.

She rested her hand on the cool metal of the door handle. Her fingers tingled. Her heart clenched and bled. She hoped somewhere inside that he would hate her and scorn her and throw her out so that maybe she wouldn't feel so horrible. It was her fault, and he still smiled when she walked into the room.

"Tsunade! You actually came to see me? Hell has frozen over, I swear it!" He laughed and she offered a self-loathing smile.

"How are you?"

"I'm absolutely fine! You know, I tell the nurses that every day, but they just won't let me go! I guess my charming good looks have them all captivated." He winked, grinning like the oaf he was. She rolled her eyes.

"Jiraiya, you need a reality check." No. What he really needed was to get some common sense and a new team mate that wasn't just a lump of dead weight.

"Yeah, yeah…you just won't admit that if I got out of the hospital I'd be too distracting for you to actually train, so you're letting them hold me hostage."

"Idiot."

"Beautiful."

"They should've fixed you better and patched up all of the bad holes, like your mouth."

"You don't mean that Tsunade! What would you do without my angelic voice? How could you survive knowing I'd never smile again?! Too cruel, love. Much too cruel." He laughed, and she sat down at the chair beside his bed.

"You better stop giving me pet names snow head, or I might just have to slug you, hospitalized or not."

"You couldn't do that. Deep down inside you love me too much to do that." He winked again, toying with her.

But he was right, and she knew it.

"And I almost felt guilty for not bringing you flowers."

"Your face is all I need to cheer me up."

"Jiraiya, you're going to get yourself into some serious trouble one of these days with all of your pick-up lines and peeping, you know that?"

"Who would dare cause trouble for me, the best of the best?"

I dunno, maybe those ninja that almost killed you, perhaps.

She flinched.

"What?" He frowned, finally noticing the dark circles under her eyes now that she was close.

"Nothing."

"Tsunade, have you been sleeping? You don't look too good." His fingers brushed the skin under her left eye, and she had to think of horrid, sad things to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl.

"I'm fine. Really. I was just up late last night training."

"Sleep is part of training too, you know."

'I can't. You die in my dreams. I just can't.'

"I know. But I have to get stronger so that…" Her eyes wandered away from his face, settling on the medical equipment set up beside the bed.

"What? So that this doesn't happen again? Tsunade, it isn't your fault. I do things like that out of my own free will you know. It was my choice to risk my life." That made her angry. Really, really angry.

"But did you ever consider what effects that kind of choice would have on the people who care about you, idiot?!" She shoved herself out of the chair, and Jiraiya propped himself up in bed.

"Tsunade…"

"No, I don't want to hear it! Shouldn't you be drugged and sleeping or something? I shouldn't have come." She turned to go, but a hand wrapped around her wrist, and she froze.

"I'm sorry, Tsunade. If you're bent on leaving so soon go ahead, but I really wish you wouldn't. Besides, I have things to say to you yet."

"…Fine. But don't try to take all the blame for what happened. If I wasn't so weak I could've defended myself. You'd e okay."

"Tsunade." She turned around, and he tugged her down so she was eye level with him. "Don't you ever say that. Don't you ever say that. Because you know something? It isn't true." His had had drifted to the back of her head while the other still held her wrist.

She flushed, and with one last intense look he kissed her, sweet and warm. She stiffened for a split second, and then her free and slid to his shoulder, a finger wrapped around one of his longer spikes of white.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered as he pulled her down all the way so she was sitting on the bed with her head on his chest. "I almost got you killed and you don't even care."

"I do care. I care enough about what happens to you to put my life on the line to save yours. I'd die if I had to."

"Please don't say that Jiraiya. Just please don't say it. I don't want you to die for me. Just live, okay?"

"Yeah."

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Okay, so this is just some stupid little one-shot I thought of as I wrote. It was going to be a SasukexSakura when I started, but then it just turned into to JiraiyaxTsunade. I don't know why. I guess it's just because I've been wanting to write them for a really long time. n.n So? Any love for the slow author?

But before you so lovingly send me a review (you know you want to) I'd like to clarify that this is in the past. I guess they're in their early-mid teens. I dunno. Let's just say they're a LOT younger than they are in the manga/anime! XD I'm thinking it's before Orochimaru was found out for being a stupid body snatcher, so he's just off doing his twisted little thing while Tsunade visits Jiraiya. And for those of you who just skip the end author's notes because you think they're unimportant, YOU BETTER THINK TWICE AND READ THIS BECAUSE IT HAS KEY STORY INFO IN IT. There. Hope I got some attention.

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Mistoffelees Shadow