A/N:Brief little oneshot about Gohan's feelings about his father and waging war against Cell.
From the time I was born, Father, you thought I'd be a proud Saiyan warrior like you. You thought wrong.
I'm not like my father is. I don't care what they say about me, I hate fighting and killing, I don't care if I'm half-Saiyan, I'd rather not hurt anyone at all. I hate to side with my mom, but she's right, I should really be studying and making peace.
But my father never really listens to what I want. He always makes me fight.
Now I'm out here all alone, fighting Cell. A monstrous being who I stand no chance against. What on earth is Father thinking, leaving me out here all alone? There's no way I can beat him at all. He proves me right.
Then Android 16 decides to sacrifice himself to impel me, and that's when I lose it and ascend. I can just feel my sanity slipping away by the seconds that pass as the tears cascade down my face. How, how can Cell do something so cruel and act like it's absolutely nothing?
I will never forgive him for attacking my friends with those fiendish Cell Jrs. Creatures like Cell cannot and will not be shown mercy. Father, I don't care. Cell cannot and will not change his ways. That is why I must end him.
Perhaps I'm losing it myself and becoming every bit as violent as my ancestors, but some enemies cannot be shown mercy. I just feel myself giving into the hatred and butchering every single one of the Cell Jrs with no mercy.
Still, you keep on letting me fight and suffer out here, for a cause I don't even understand. Then, you decide to die in front of me and wave goodbye, like it's the most casual thing in the world. How could you just carelessly throw away your life like that? Trunks, Piccolo, Tien, Yamcha, Vegeta, Krillin, and I just couldn't believe it.
We believed in you, Father, and you just recklessly sacrificed your own life. Did you forget that I'm only eleven years old? I need a father, I can't live without you. Why don't you realize that I'm not a fighter, I'm not an exact replica of you. I cannot and will not live my life being a fighter, all fighting seems to do is cause even more sadness and pain. I've been through it all of my childhood, and it sickens me to see the monster I've become.
In the end, I only pray that my mother can hold herself together after you threw your life away so carelessly. Don't you care about the rest of us? I need you, dad. I need you. But I'm also not a warrior, I'm not. I'm a pacifist, I hate to see this disgusting violence.
That is why, I will no longer fight or train anymore since your death. I'm giving it all up.