A/N: Because I'm a short one-shot addict, and this pairing needs more rough love and attention. Respective warnings and ratings will be posted with each one-shot, so the collection will be rated M overall. Enjoy!

This one was inspired by a discussion on forums about spider!Claude in Sebastian's shower. X3

1.] Hypothetical

Rating: T

x x x

It wasn't so much that he enjoyed the sight, or that it was a pleasant habit - he merely liked the wall of the shower. A conveniently horizontal surface to rest on in a usually untouched area of the house, the shower wall was a bit of an ideal spot to him. Of course, the occasional and utterly unexpected appearance of his fellow demon in the shower had nothing to do with his preference for the wall, nor the fact that he had gotten used to resting at the very top of the shower, in an inconspicuous corner, tucked neatly into the shadow where he wouldn't appear to the occupant of the shower.

On the occasions that Sebastian did appear, though, his thoughts often took a slightly hypothetical turn. Watching the slender fingers that slid the shower door open, wrapping lightly around the shower head to adjust it was enough to make anyone long to have those fingers running over their own body. If he were to switch forms then, and step up behind the other demon, his gaze heavily following the streams of water that spilled over perfected collarbones and down the slopes of shoulders, he might have rested his own hand against the shower wall and leaned against it for a moment, waiting.

Of course, he wouldn't have waited long, because Sebastian would turn to take down the shampoo, and be forced to acknowledge his presence, lowering the dark eyelids that had already gathered a faint layer of moisture from the spray of water, minuscule drops clinging to the ends of each lash and stepping close to Claude. Their skin might brush briefly as Sebastian closed his hand around the bottle, and the softest of smirks would leave his lips.

As Sebastian turned back to lift his face into the water, Claude might have stepped away from the wall and come up behind him, taking Sebastian's hips into his palms, pulling their bodies together lightly and enjoying the quiet sounds their damp skin made, sliding together and apart. He would have admired the way the other demon's biceps curved as his hands worked through that raven hair, and the way the water made each strand curl as he rinsed it.

Claude might have buried his lips in the wet hair, taking a couple in his teeth gently, a soft sigh falling into the dark mess as Sebastian's soap-slicked hands ran down his thighs in a thoughtful manner, as though considering the power he would have had at that moment. Vaguely, Claude wondered when this hypothetical version of Sebastian had started contributing to his musings of its own will, but it wouldn't matter by then, because Sebastian would have turned and buried shampoo-covered hands into his own hair, and he would be pressed against the shower wall, those slender, perfect fingers working tiny circles across his scalp.

At that point, there wouldn't be anything to do but wrap his arms around that perfect slender back and let the other demon wash his hair, their faces impossibly close, every breath of steam-filled air they took seeming less effective, but that wouldn't matter either because with Sebastian's tongue in his mouth he had no desire to make room for air. He might have fought with him briefly as to whose tongue controlled the kiss and might have received a light bite to the tip, punishment for intruding on the shower.

He would have minded parting if it weren't for the intoxicating sight of the water washing over the rest of Sebastian's pale skin, watching as the shower head would be tilted so the spray now caught them both, running his hands daringly down the rest of the demon's body to aid the disappearance of soap. They would have stayed like that, mapping each other's bodies with their hands until all the hot water was gone, and then it would be over, and Sebastian would be shaking the excess dampness from his hair and opening the shower door.

The wink Sebastian threw towards the invisible corner of the wall as the cold air entered the shower was nearly enough to send Claude sliding from his hiding place. But then, he reflected as he watched the shower door close behind his fellow demon, that didn't matter as well because the whole thing was entirely hypothetical.