Warnings - Shounen ai (Taito - Taichi Yamato - Tai and Matt), angst, suicide, death. That's about it.
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Celebrated Victim
It's been six months now Yama.. I hope you can forgive me for not being at your funeral, but I wasn't going to face all those people. How could I? I went a few weeks afterward, fresh flowers still on your grave, they come and place them there every day. Takeru and your family I mean, they could understand why I didn't come. Around your resting place there are things signed, personal things, photographs, 'Teenage Wolves' T-shirts, even your guitar is there. Signed by us all of course. I've never seen anything like it, all for you Yamato, all because you deserved it. No matter how much I hate to admit it, you weren't just my angel.. But everyone's. No one saw you the way I did, no one understood me the way you did, and even though you left me, I still love you. Believe it or not I was still expecting you in school for weeks afterward. I would be thinking in class, not about class obviously, and someone would snap me out of my thoughts, I half expected you there Yama.. Every voice I heard was yours.
I should hate you for leaving me like this Yamato, but I don't. And for this I blame you. I understood why you did it, hey, even in your position I would do the same. Your brother gave me your note, he was shaking, physically shaking Yamato. I really hope you're looking out for him while you're up there, I told him you would be. To your little brother, it's as if you haven't gone. To him, you're still looking after him, keeping him out of trouble, and I hope to god that that's true. He misses you Yama... As do we all.
I couldn't leave my house for two weeks after you had gone, every image I saw was of you, the whole area was talking about you, about how you went. They were spreading rumours about you. They wouldn't let it drop! You were buried for less than 5 minutes and they started talking about you, how you died, why you did it, all of it lies. None of them caring who they hurt. They didn't even seem to realise that you might've had a family, and friends that cared about you more than anything, who loved you.
But that's always been the way of your fans ne? Flowers have ever been delivered to my house, orchids, apologising for my loss. I keep all the cards. You remember when I was arguing with you over Sora? When my secret came out, and I realised you felt the same, we promised eachother that we'd be together forever no matter what Yama.. Even your note told me that we would be, despite you being gone, sometimes, I swear I can feel you watching me. Maybe you're watching me now? As I write this? If so, you're bound know what I'm thinking right? I may be six months late, but I want to see you again. I know I shouldn't Yamato, I know you're shouting at me now, from where ever you are, telling me not to be such a fool.
Did you know you're a legend now? I can understand how the pressure got to you, they wanted too much from you angel, they pushed you for something you weren't sure you could give. So please.. Where ever you are.. Understand how the loneliness is getting to me, simply, I can't live without you. At the beginning I knew that you wanted me to live on, somehow manage to live without you, maybe even find someone else. I knew it wasn't going to happen, I tried, but everyone.. Just wasn't.. You.
I need to see you again Yamato, I've already written a note to my parents, one to my sister, one to your family, one to our friends and now I'm writing this one. I've asked to be buried close to you. I'll leave the others here, on my desk. Hikari will find them soon enough. But this one, this one will stay with me. I Love you Yamato Ishida.. Always have.. Always will.
See you soon..
Taichi
# Love that lasts an eternity #
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Tai placed the pen back down onto his desk. He left the other four letters on his wooden work table. The final piece of paper in his hands, he gave it a quick glance before folding it within, shaking tanned fingers. He nodded to his parents as he left the house, the first smile of the months since his love had left him gracing his lips. He walked slowly through the streets toward the cemetery, children and adults alike recognising him as the one that loved the great Yamato Ishida. 'Loves' he wanted to correct them, but he just continued walking, hardly looking up until he came to the soft ground of the great resting place.
He knew his way without looking and stopped infront of the now shrine of Yamato Ishida, the photos of him smiling that electric smile, a few of him at concerts,. Two photos caught his eyes though, one from not soon after they had returned from the digital world for the first time. Yama in his green tank top, jeans and boots, his small brother standing infront of him. The taller blonde ruffling his little brother's hair, both holding a smile on their face. Takeru and the rest of the family had signed that, a small poem written on it, one from the heart without a doubt. 'At the base of the tall slick stone that marks your death, there is a picture of us all, new digidestined, old digidestined and our digimon. We were standing together in that picture, hand in hand, my other arm wrapped around you like it had been many times before. Your digivice was holding that picture up.'
Tai blinked as another tear fell to the floor, even with the smile on his face. 'I'm trying to hold them back Yamato, I'm trying.. But I can't help it' he thought, silently talking to his blonde angel. He carefully knelt and picked the small device up, placing a soft kiss on it before laying it back down and taking his own from his belt, placing it side by side with that of Yamato. He stood up slowly and looked at the sleek stone, nodding to himself and then letting his fingers trail the pattern of Yamato's name downward.
"I love you Yamato.."
"What was that Tai?"
"I said I love you."
"You'll have to speak up" he turned and shouted back toward his band "I'll be there in a minute! Calm down will-!!"
" I SAID I LOVE YOU!!!"
The entire area became silent as they stared at Taichi, this included Yamato who was blinking at him continually.
"You what??!"
"...I love you."
That was just before their first embrace, their first ever kiss, how Taichi longed for that moment again, even if he was about to explode with embarrassment at that very moment. He would kill for that moment again. He smiled at the black stone ahead of him and then unfolded the piece of paper, weighing it down with both their digivices, before taking the smuggled tablets out of his pocket. He quickly took them before leaning and kissing the stone softly. "I'll just fall asleep like you did angel.. A peaceful sleep where we can meet eachother again, keep our promises." Teardrops dropping onto his final letter he softly wrapped his arms around the rock that was the marker of his angel's passing, snuggling up to it as if it was the blue eyed angel himself.
"I love you Yamato.."
He softly kissed the stone once more before closing his eyes for the final time.
"Ja matte ne.."
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Owari. Now.. Please R&R, this is the first fic that's actually had my eyes welling up as I wrote it. That may not seem like much, but I'm not a very emotional person, it just struck a cord somewhere. I hope you liked it, I enjoyed writing it. R&R for me please.
~ The Unguided Angel