ALMOST THIRTEEN
Jaina Solo doesn't cry, she told herself. She'd been raised by stoic parents, and she was determined to live up to that standard.
But it hurt so much. She'd thought Ritani was her friend. It was Ritani's birthday and she'd invited her friends to celebrate. All of them, except Jaina.
Jaina was sure she hadn't done anything to offend Ritani. They lived in the same building and had been friends. Jaina wouldn't have called Ritani her best friend, but they'd always been invited to each other's birthday parties ever since Jaina moved with her family to the larger apartment. They spoke together at school, they had friends in common and she normally joined them for lunch in the student commons.
Ritani had made some new friends this school year. Jaina didn't much care for them; they were the so called 'mean girls,' the ones whose opinions seemed to count for everything. If they didn't like you, you were Shunned. But Ritani still held on to some of her old ties.
So when a hoverlimo came to get Ritani, her friends climbed in and sped away - and Jaina had not been invited. The other girls went on and on about how they were going to be driven from school in a hoverlimo and how they were going to be taken to Blue Star Burger for an incredible dinner, followed by a trip to the holocinema.
Jaina walked home alone, tears stinging her eyes. Mom and Dad had always taught them not to crumble when things were stressful. It was how they did things. Oh, sure, they argued sometimes, and loudly, but they got over it fast.
A Skywalker-Solo does not cry, she reprimanded herself. Every step she took, she felt as if her legs were made of lead.
She really didn't want to go home; she'd have to explain to Jacen and Anakin what she was feeling, and they had enough Force to know she was miserable. If they were smart, they'd leave her alone, but they weren't always smart. They'd never understand, anyway. Her mother was at work, and her father wouldn't be home till late. Not that they would help, she thought, her crying intensifying. Mom and Dad's lives had been so different from hers.
She thought about visiting her favorite kaf bar, but many kids from school went there and the last thing she wanted was to meet up with them. She could see it now. They'd be mocking her for gods know how long. That option was out.
Jaina finally decided that she'd go home, lock herself in her bedroom, and not leave it till she was good and ready. She wished she could use the Force to make Ritani and her 'friends' absolutely miserable. Uncle Luke told her it would take her to the Dark Side and she had to only use the Force for positive purposes.
Mom and Dad had told her that she and her brothers could not start Jedi training until they were fifteen. She wasn't even thirteen, not for three more months. Maybe she really needed to start her training sooner.
She finally reached the building, put her hand on the security reader, and headed to the 83rd floor. In the meantime, she had to pull herself together. Her brothers would never let her live it down.
Oddly enough, when she entered the apartment, there were no brothers, no Uncle Chewie. It was quiet.
Even they forgot about me, Jaina thought miserably. She went into the kitchen. She hoped there was spice biscuits left. Leia had bought them, but her brothers usually managed to devour everything in sight. Again, her wishes were denied.
The universe hates me, she thought unhappily.
She heard a sound coming from her parents' bedroom and the door opened. Standing there was her father. "Daddy, what are you doing here?" She was trying to keep from crying.
"Hey, little princess," Han said, going over to her and giving her a hug.
That was all that was needed for Jaina to lose it. She burst into a waterfall of unwelcome emotion. Han, however, did not tell her to be strong. He just held her close, letting her sob till she couldn't cry anymore.
"What happened, sweetie?" Han asked her.
By this time, Jaina's voice was thick and shaky. "Ritani's birthday party's today and she didn't even ask me to come!"
Han held her tightly and said nothing for a long time. Finally, he asked, "How'd you like to do some flying?"
"Flying? You mean like on the Falcon?"
"I got done early and Uncle Chewie wanted to take the guys to see Lumpy, who's visiting for a few days. He figured you probably were with your friends."
"Some friends," Jaina said bitterly, but her tone softened. "But we can fly the Falcon?"
"Sure. I haven't had enough heart attacks today." Jaina gave her father a baleful look. "I'm kidding, sweetie. Get your boots on and let's get off the ground."
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"We're gonna work on taking off," Han told her.
"I suck at that," Jaina said sadly.
"That's because you haven't done it enough. Piloting's about practice. So, let's practice. What do you do first?"
"Preflight check?"
"Get to it, little princess."
Jaina followed the routine Han had taught her. He had to do some minor corrections - she missed two small things but she'd covered the major items. It had been her best flight check to date.
"See? You're missing less and less. That's practice."
"Do other pilots make you do as much precheck?" Jaina asked, frowning.
"The good ones do." Han smiled at her. "If you're gonna be a pilot, be a good one."
"I don't wanna be a good pilot. I wanna be the greatest pilot," Jaina said to her father, her old determination returning.
"That's the way you want to think. So, we're ready for takeoff."
"Not quite. I need my rudder pedal extensions."
"Ah, yes." Han went to get them; they were stowed in the cockpit in a small cabinet. He and Jaina slotted them in, and they were ready to go.
"Take her straight and level to 700 meters," Han instructed her. "Just nice and easy. We're not trying to outrun a pack of stormtroopers."
"Mom says when you and Uncle Luke rescued her, they were shooting at you."
"When weren't they? I kept hoping they'd change their evil ways, but that took quite a while. Okay, nice, stay straight and level, just a bit more, then we're gonna take her at 45 degrees."
"Okay." Jaina was no longer crying, no longer suffering preteen angst for the moment. She was Jaina the Pilot, and Han was pleased with her performance. He'd started working with her when she was ten, and she'd come a ways.
"Okay, push on the throttle a bit more, start pitching at 45 degrees." Jaina gently moved the throttle; it was weighted so that it could be shoved hard if need be, but it was not so loose that it would be too easy to wobble. "Not bad, sweetie. Not bad at all."
"Thanks." Jaina actually gave a small smile. "Daddy, you never talk about what it was like for you when you were a kid."
"It's not a time I like to remember. I consider my life to have started when I met your mom."
"Did your friends treat you like this?"
"Honey, I didn't have friends, save for a Wookiee named Dewlanna. But you know about her."
"Didn't you ever get lonely?"
"Sure."
"So what'd you do?"
"Whatever I had to."
"I guess you woudn't understand."
"I can understand feeling left out."
Jaina was concentrating on her flying. "You don't have a mom and dad."
"I did. You're named for my mother."
"I am?"
"Yeah. I don't remember her very well. One day, I was home with my parents, and then...I was alone."
"That's horrible!"
"I never knew what happened to them. Your mom helped me find out."
"So what did happen?"
"They were killed by the Imps." Han said it matter of factly, as if he was discussing the weather."
"I'm sorry, Daddy. That's horrible!"
"It was a bad time. A lot of people suffered." Han shrugged.
"But you have a good life now."
"No, I don't. I have the best life." Han smiled at her. "I have Mom, and all you guys, and Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara and Ben and Chewie. I've got the boys in the band, I've got friends in the building and at flight training."
"What about Uncle Lando?"
"Okay, Uncle Lando." Han rolled his eyes but laughed.
"Mom says he has a new girlfriend."
"Actually, I think this is the longest he's ever been with the same woman." Both laughed; Lando had been with Tendra nearly a year. "He's not exactly low maintenance. Point is, I never knew I'd have so many friends. For the longest time, I didn't trust anyone."
"Did that change 'cause of Mom?"
"I'd say yes. Okay, now we're going to vertical, and then bring it up to sublight." Jaina was generally good at this part. The hard part was the jump to light speed; she did it very clumsily. But no one was more surprised than Han to learn that he was a patient teacher. They weren't going to go far, but he did want her to make the jump.
For a while, they flew along at sublight, hitting only minor turbulence and they were quiet.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to go to school. Everyone's gonna think I'm the biggest loser," Jaina said sadly, but she was past crying.
"School's rough. I was in the Imp Navy, and it was hard; I had friends but I was older than a lot of the recruits."
"Did they treat you like a loser?"
"Not till I refused to kill Chewie. Then I had no friends. I was kicked to the curb."
"Was it awful?"
"It didn't feel terrific."
Jaina nodded. "Sometimes I wish you'd let me go to the Praxeum."
"When you're a little older. And I've talked to Uncle Luke; it's pretty much the same there as it is in regular school. Kids get into cliques, there's jealousy, there's snubbing."
"So when does it get better?"
"Thursday. I just don't know which Thursday."
"Daddy, you're such a goof!" Jaina was smiling, though.
"You work from your strengths. Ready to make the jump to light speed?"
"Yeah."
"Take it nice and easy. You know where the controls are. Feel 'em out before you do it. Oh, and set a course for Talus."
"Okay."
"They've got the best kaf bar in the galaxy. And, we'll be home in time for dinner."
Jaina smiled. "Here goes." She entered her coordinates according to the map.
"Now, nice and easy, let's make the jump."
Jaina began to lean gently on the throttle, and then pushed it forward, little by little, feeling the increase in speed, and then, at the right moment, saw the stars turn from speckles to streams of white. She was exhilirated by the jump.
"Now that was good," Han said admiringly.
"It's always exciting to go to light speed," Jaina said.
"I don't care how many times I've done it. It's a rush. Okay, NOT that type of rush when you're trying to outrun something."
"I wanna be a Navy pilot," Jaina said.
Han had very mixed feelings about this, but he kept his reservations to himself.
"It's a good way to train," he said to her. He hoped by the time she was seventeen, she'd have changed her mind. "Of course, you might be stuck with me for a flight instructor."
"Hmm. That'd be bad." Jaina laughed. "I love flying. I don't have to think about my stupid friends that hate me."
Han didn't comment; the world of teenaged girls was a complete mystery to him. "It's a good way to get away from it all."
"Is that why you learned to fly?"
"Not the reason, but it was one of the reasons I loved it. The ship I grew up on, the guy who ran the place thought I could win him a lot of money in swoop racing."
"I thought swoop racing's like illegal."
"It is now. So are pod races."
"Why?"
"Too many people die or get maimed for life."
Jaina's lips curved up. "I'd like to put Ritani and her so called friends in a swoop race."
"Shrike, that was the jerk I worked for as a kid, made a lotta money off me. I knew I was gonna be a pilot. But I had to escape from Shrike and I did it when I was eighteen. I set off to work for some of the most lowlife scum you could hope to come across. I did that for a while, while I tried to get into the Imperial Navy. I finally got in."
"You were in the Imperial Navy?" Jaina looked at him skeptically.
"I was."
"I thought you were a soldier in the Rebellion."
"I only had a commission for a short time. I resigned from it after Mom and I got back from our honeymoon."
"But Mom said you did so much in the Rebellion."
"I did what needed doing."
"She said you were one of the best fighters they had."
"I don't know about that. Your mom wanted me to take a commission, but even before I got kicked out by the Imps, I was starting to hate all the bureacratic kriffness, the stupid rules, that sort of thing. I wanted to be a good officer, but looking back, I don't think I was cut out for that sort of thing."
"Because you had a big mouth?" Jaina kidded.
"Did your mom tell you that?" Han raised his eyebrows.
"It's kinda obvious."
"Well, I guess you got yours somewhere."
"Yeah, from you."
"Touche," Han laughed. "Score one for Jaina." He at least got a chuckle from her. "Heads up. We're coming up on Talus."
"Am I gonna land?"
"Yep. Step by step now. Cut to sublight, but slowly."
Jaina's slowdown was more turbulent than Han would have liked, but she was doing better than previously. He knew it took practice. What pleased him was that she was concentrating on her flying, not on her girlfriends. When Jaina was upset, he knew, the best way to distract her was to give her a task that required complete concentration.
"I'm about to enter orbit," Jaina said.
"What do you need to do?"
"Slow down a lot more?"
"Yeah, but gently." Jaina began to slow further. "Okay, little too fast. You don't want to get bounced." It wasn't that Han didn't know how to recover from a bounce, but it took time and was a pain.
"Sorry! I'm doing my best!" Jaina snapped.
"Hey, take it easy. Just trying to make sure you get it right. And I know what a perfectionist you are." Han grinned at her.
"You say that like it's a bad thing!"
"Not true, sweetie, not true. Okay, little bit of roll's gonna help you out, about ten degrees. Then some pitch, thirty degrees. Nice."
"Thanks."
"Time to request permission to dock."
Jaina hit the radio channel. "Permission to land," she said confidently.
"Vessel make and name?"
"YT 1300, the Millennium Falcon."
"Nature of business?"
"Uh, personal?"
"Docking bay 31A. Welcome to Talus."
"Thank you."
"Release the landing claws," Han said to her. Jaina released them, and her landing was still not picture perfect, but better than in the past. "Doing pretty good there, sweetie."
"So where're we going?" Jaina asked as she cut the engines.
"My favorite kaf bar. Nigrum Capulus."
"Don't we need a transport?"
"Walking distance. Best kaf and pastry in the Core Worlds."
"They let kids in?"
"They serve kaf, not liquor."
Han and Jaina headed towards the kaf bar, but stopped to look in some of the shops on the way.
"We call this Ripoff Alley," Han told her. "They charge about four times as much for everything because it's near the landing pads."
"That's a dress like Mom would wear," Jaina pointed out. "You know, to meet bigwigs."
"You never know when you might need a cocktail dress," Han said, smiling at her. "This happened a couple times to your mom, believe it or not, things coming up at the last minute."
"Bet you loved that," Jaina said, sounding more like her usual sarcastic self.
"Not a problem if your mom needed a dress. Huge problem if I was expected to dress official like. Yeah, I loved that even more. Okay, want some kaf?" The two had arrived at Nigrum Capulus. Jaina, who was accustomed to the clean and well kept kaf bars on Coruscant, appeared slightly alarmed.
"It doesn't look like much on the outside, but it's got it where it counts." Han held the door for her. "After you, little princess."
The place was packed to the gills with pilots of every species and gender, full of laughter and smoke and the fragrance of good kaf and warm pastries baked on the premises.
"Uh, where's the line?"
"I'm not sure, but they've got a lot of baristas on, so we won't wait long." Father and daughter pushed their way in and ended up behind a woman with white blonde hair accompanied by a man who was as dark as Lando.
"Hey Solo, long time no see!" One of the baristas, a four armed sentient, called out to them.
"Hey, Brox! What's going on?" Han extended his hand and shook one of Brox's.
The woman in front of them turned around. "Han? What the hell are you doing here?"
"Sapphire! Good seeing you. Hey Kerss, she behaving herself?" Han asked her husband.
"Never," Kerss responded cheerfully.
"Jaina! I'm glad to see you," Sapphire said to her. "You've grown up a lot!"
"Be nice to her. She's my ride home," Han said, giving a quick hug to his former smuggling buddy.
"You piloted the Falcon?" Sapphire asked her, smiling.
"Yeah. I had a bad day at school. Flying takes my mind off stuff."
"And nowadays, for the most part, you can actually enjoy it," Sapphire added. "Not too many out there shooting at you. Listen, about the school stuff: at your age, it sucks, and it's gonna suck for a while. Just remember, this will pass, and right now it hurts, but it's only for a while. It does get better as you get older."
"Did your friends hate you?" Jaina asked.
"My friends hated me and I hated them, and all because we were in middle school. It happens in nearly every species all over the galaxy. I know it won't make you feel better now, but keep in mind that you're Han and Leia's daughter and you can kick everyone's asses."
"Thanks," Jaina said.
"Han, love to stay and catch up, but Kerss and I gotta get our butts out of here," Sapphire said. "Jaina, I know it's hard, but don't worry about it."
Han and Jaina found a table on the quad that was formed by the blocks of shops.
"D'you think like Sapphire's right? That it doesn't matter?" Jaina said.
"I think your mom could answer that better than me, but offhand, I'd say she's rarely wrong."
Jaina smiled, this time a real one.
"This was like the worst day ever, but now it's like one of the best ones."
Han smiled. "Yeah, it turned out okay, didn't it?"
"Yeah."
"If we're gonna make it home in time for dinner, we'd best get moving. And you're driving."
"Thanks, Daddy."
Han had a feeling that long after Jaina'd forgotten about her friends, she'd remember this day. He knew he would.