I never had much luck with boys. Not that I cares anyways. There all just pigs who want to get in my pants ( For example Duncan, Bridgette's boyfriend, Geoff's best friend). I doesn't need a guy. But that doesn't stop me from sometimes wanting one. During these times when I can"t help but feel lonely, I pulls out the list.
Reasons Why Guys Suck
Take forever to text back
almost never text you first
promise things they know they can't keep/ don't intend to keep
don't generally like to share their feelings
act TOTALLY different with you when they're with their friends
They don't know how to say sorry when they do something wrong
They're all looking for a "nice, funny, smart girl" who just happens to look like Megan Fox
they BS constantly
guys think their the greatest creatures to ever walk the earth
"Oh come on Court! Are you seriously looking at that stupid list again?!" shouts my roommate Bridgette as she walks through the door of our tiny apartment. "NO!" I deny embarrassed. Bridgette always thought the list was stupid, and totally unrealistic. That was easy for her to say, she has a great boyfriend who loved her unconditionally.
"And it's not stupid!" I huff, "It's completely accurate. Every single guy I've dated fits this description perfectly!" Bridgette leans over my shoulder to read the list then snickers. "What are you laughing at?" I question in an annoyed tone. "oh nothing... Just thinking about how Duncan doesn't fit a single description on this list." Bridgette says before bursting into a fit of laughter.
"What!" I shriek total caught of guard. How could that vile thing not fit the list!? "You're crazy Bridgette! Of course Duncan fits the list, how could Duncan not fit the list!?" I ask with wild eyes. "Ha ha ha, I don't know Court but I gotta go Geoff's waiting for me, ha ha ha, thanks for the laugh." She smirks. God I hated Bridgette sometimes.
After listening to make sure Bridgette had left the apartment, I immediately looked at the list trying to see if Bridgette was right about Duncan not fitting a single discription. I shuddered at the thought. Duncan had been after me since junior year of high school, when Geoff and Bridgette first got together and introduced me to him.
I always turned him down of course. I mean how could I date that monster he was rude, crude, and a total pig. When we graduated I was extremely thankful that I would never have to see him ever again. That is, until I found out he had applied to the same collage as me, Bridge, and Geoff.
*flashback*
'I can't believe were here!" I shouted to my best friend Bridgette. "Ha ha ha me either Court. I'm so glad we got into the same collage... and being at the same collage as Geoff isn't to bad either." said Bridgette with a blush. "You are so lucky Bridgette! ... Sometimes I wish I had someone." I sigh. "Awww Princess, I'm hurt. Aren't I enough?" A someone says while wrapping their arm around me.
NO, no please God no, I think to myself. "Bridgette" I say as I close my eyes afraid to look at what ever was touching me, "please, please, please, tell me it isn't who i think it is." "I'm afraid it is Court." I open my eyes very slowly and turn my head, and there he is, Duncan, green haired as usual.
"DUNCAN!" I scream, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" "Chill Mocha, Duncan bra, goes to school here." Said Geoff now joining our group. "Why?!" I ask. Duncan had always said school was a waste of time and he wasn't going to bother wasting another four years on collage. "Well princess if you must know I'm studying to get my degree in business. I plan to own my own record shop on Fallout Boy St." Says Duncan in a serious tone. (I couldn't resist sneaking them into the story I love Fallout Boy 3)
Wow. I Think, I've never seen Duncan be so serious... Maybe he's different now. Before I can say anything to Duncan about how great it is that he want to own his own shop, Duncan says: "That or running a strip club called Duncan's Sex Spot." aaaaand he's back.
"Wait buisness!? That's what I'm majoring in!" I shriek. "Well looks like we'll be spending a lot of time together Princess. Maybe we should catch up... over dinner maybe?" Duncan asks with that stupid smirk on his face. "UGH!" I shout as I walk away. "See you in class Princess!" He calls after me.
*end flashback*
Shaking my head I look back to the list in front of me. I'll prove Bridgette wrong by finding a characteristic that fit Duncan and then we'll see who's laughing.
Reasons Why Guys Suck
Take forever to text back
That one didn't really apply to Duncan. During the few time I did text Duncan he always responded right away, or at least told me why he had taken so long to reply to my text.
almost never text you first
Actually, Duncan was almost always the one to text me first. He always found time to send me things. Wether they be stupid pick up lines or sweet messages asking me if I needed anything or wanted to hang out.
promises things they know they can't keep/ don't intend to keep
Once again something Duncan didn't do. Duncan, no matter how sneaky he may be, always sticks to his promises. He was a man of his word and never went back on it. I remember when I needed help for the school play and Duncan had promised to help me out. I didn't really believe him until he showed up to the first rehearsal of "Romeo and Juliet" in tights and all his lines memorized. I giggle at the memory.
don't generally like to share their feelings
Duncan was never shy about his feelings. If he felt something he would say it. No matter what. Valentines day senior year Duncan had walked straight up to my desk and told me he liked me, then asked me out in front of the entire class. I was blushing so hard and couldn't say a word. Just the thought of it sets my face a blaze.
act TOTALLY different with you when they're with their friends
I can't think of a single time Duncan has treated me any differently in front of his friends. He's always his flirty pigish self.
They don't know how to say sorry when they do something wrong
Whenever Duncan took it to far he always would apologize and bring me my favorite ice cream. It was a one hour drive to the ice-cream shop in Toronto and another one hours to come back. but Duncan knew how much I loved that ice cream and always brought me some whenever he took a joke to far. Its hard to stay mad at someone while eating Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Therapy.
They're all looking for a "nice, funny, smart girl" who just happens to look like Megan Fox
Duncan always says he likes the way I look and always telling me how hot I look, and how I don't need to be superstar gorgeous because he likes me just the way I am.
they BS constantly
Duncan isn't the kind of guy to BS anyone. If he has something to say he'll say it. He's never afraid to say the truth about things. Geoff says he's always been like that. Even when he was just a little kid.
guys think their the greatest creatures to ever walk the earth
"AH HA!" I shout in triumph, "I knew there had to be at least one thing on this list that applied to Duncan!" I was so busy jumping for joy at Duncan fitting something on the list that I didn't notice Bridgette, Geoff, and Duncan walking into the apartment. "Courtney?" asks a rather frighted Bridgette, "what are you you doing?"
I turn around, and when my eyes land on Duncan I walk straight up to him "You, you may text me first, share your feelings, bring me ice cream when I'm mad at you, but you think you are the best thing ever!" I start laughing again and Duncan looks really confused. "Princess what are you talking about?" He asks me.
"This list, MY list!" I laugh as I pass it to him. He reads the list as Bridgette and Geoff look over his shoulder. Suddenly Bridgette's face contorts into a wicked grin. "Couuuuurtney" starts Bridgette, "it seems you don't remember a certain someones graduation speech." "Bridgette what are you talking abo-" My blood runs cold and my sentance stops as I reliaze what she's talking about.
*flaaaaaaaash baaaaaaack*
"Will the valedictorians of the graduating class of 2010 please come up to the stand." Ask's their principal. Me and Noah make our way over to the podium to give our speech tot he class. I can hardly wait. Me and Noah had worked on it all night and even his usual deadpan expression was replaced by a giddy look.
"Class of 2010," Noah starts "i'm pleased to-" but before he can continue Pierce The Veils "King For A Day" starts blasting on the intercom. Everyone looks around confused. Suddenly the projector screen starts to lower and the music stops only for a video to start playing.
"Class of 2010," a voice starts "You know me as Duncan Curtwell" Duncan's face suddenly flashes on the screen he is standing in front o Geoff sitting behind a drum set, Trent holding a guitar, and DJ holding a bass. "We, are going to play a song that describes me pretty damn well" smirks Duncan.
Fallout Boy I Don't Care
(Ooh, ooh)
Say my name and his in the same breath
I dare you to say they taste the same
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow in flames
Erase myself and let go
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends, they don't love you
They just love the hotel suites, now
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
I was furious how dare Duncan ruin what was suppose to be one of the greatest moments in my life. I was up all night writing my graduation speech and now it's worthless!
(Ooh, ooh)
Take a chance let your body get a tolerance
I'm not a chance, put a heat wave in your pants
Pull a breath like another cigarette
Pawnshop heart trading up (trading up)
On the oracle in my chest
Let the guitar scream like a fascist
Sweat it out, shut your mouth free love on the streets
But in the alley it ain't that cheap, now
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
By now everyone had gotten to their feet and was dancing to the song, while the teachers tried to figure out where the projector playing the video was.
(Ooh, ooh)
Said I don't care just what you think as long as it's about me
Said I don't care just what you think as long as it's about me
Said I don't care (I don't care)
Said I don't care (I don't care)
Said I (I) don't (don't) care (care)
I (I) don't (don't) care (care)
I don't care, (I don't care)
Said I (I) don't (don't) care (care)
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
the song ends and Duncan gets serious. Everyone goes silent as he starts to speak "I know that I'm not the smartest guy, the best looking guy, or even the nicest guy, but that's okay. It's okay because I know who I am and I know my flaws but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna change who I am. Duncan Curtwell is a trouble making bad boy and that fine with me. You are who you are. Don't go changing. Not now, not ever. You only get one life and why waste it trying to be something your not? We're all young and that's not gonna last forever. Make everyday count and be you. ROCK OUT CLASS OF 2010!" The video ends and everyone is cheering.
All I can do is sit in my chair stunned. I never knew Duncan could be so, so, inspiring. He got our entire class to go into a riot over a single song and a speech telling them not to change. "What did you think Princess?" Duncan asks coming up to me. All I can do is sit there speechless.
*end flashback*
How could I forget graduation!? Duncan himself said he knew he wasn't the greatest guy out there, but it doesn't matter because he knows who he is. "Soooo Courtney looks like Duncan doesn't fit any qualities on that list" says a smug Bridgette "I-I um-uh oh god." I stutter out. I slowly turn towards Duncan.
He had the biggest smirk I had ever seen plastered on his face. 'So Princess, looks like I'm your perfect guy. I'll pick you up at 7 on Friday. Wear something pretty." Duncan says before strutting out the front door. "Bridgette" I manage to squeak out, "what just happened." Before Bridgette can answer Geoff cuts in saying, "Isn't it obvious Mocha?! You got a date with Duncan on Friday! Hey maybe you and Duncan can double with me and Bridgette!"
"Ow! Why'd ya hit me Courtney?!"
It's finished :D I got this idea while watching Beauty and the Briefcase. The main character has a list of what the perfect guy should have. I feel like Courtney would have the opposite. A list of reason why they suck. That's all for today!
-Scribble