A/N: I wrote this for iamthefoxqueen, who prompted:
I would very much like a Kurtbastian fic(let) where Sebastian is picking at Kurt and says something along the lines of 'C'mon you know I'm hot.' and Kurt replies with 'Yes, but then you open your mouth and ruin the illusion'
I don't even care about setting, or fic length, someone could literally rewrite those lines with two sentences describing eyebrow movements and I would love them forever.
I must apologize for taking so long writing this. Also that it's short, and it might actually suck, but I'm trying to get back into writing so please forgive me.
Warning for minor bullying. You might assume there's angst or anxiety, but there really isn't. Dalton AU.
The bell that signals the end of fifth period rings and Kurt sighs. While the students around him rush to stuff their books into their backpacks, Kurt puts his books into his messenger bag slowly, taking his time, making sure his papers are straight and his book covers don't get wrinkled. It doesn't help him any to hurry out the door.
Kurt knows he's already there…waiting.
Kurt doesn't have to look up to know, either. He can hear other boys greet him on their way out the door.
"Hey, Sebastian."
"How ya doin', Bas?"
"See you at Warbler rehearsal?"
"Why are you always here? You don't take this class."
Part of Sebastian's afternoon ritual consists of standing outside Kurt's AP Literature classroom after the bell and dogging him all the way to Warbler practice, spouting the most ridiculous insults in the English language – the raunchier ones in French so the teachers don't catch on.
Sebastian doesn't even wait for Kurt to step through the door and out into the hall before he lays into him.
"Now, you're going to tell me when they elect you Grand Marshall of the Puerto Rican Gay Pride Parade, right? I can't wait to see you riding a float, covered in neon Spandex and plastic fruit. That's something I'll need to DVR."
Kurt shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but otherwise, he stays quiet.
"Hey. I hear that Claire's is having a 50% off sale. You can stock up on that eye shadow you like so much. Though, you know, you probably shouldn't be getting fashion advice from a store that caters to twelve-year-old girls."
Kurt shrugs it off and walks a little faster, but Sebastian keeps up.
"Speed-walking, huh? I kind of took you for a Prancercise kind of guy."
Kurt used to wonder why, in a school with a strictly enforced zero-tolerance bullying policy, the teachers never stop Sebastian. It couldn't be an issue of money. Pretty much every kid's parents at Dalton is richer than Midas. Kurt suspects it's because Sebastian's father is a state's attorney.
Or maybe it's because with his secret grin and his smiling eyes, Kurt doesn't look like a bullied student. Sure he'd learned how to put on a brave face from years of being mercilessly harassed in the hallways of McKinley, but this isn't quite the same. At first, Sebastian's picking annoyed Kurt to no end. Kurt had just left one insufferable school, and now he was being taunted at the place that was his supposed safe-haven. But after a while, what Sebastian did stopped feeling like bullying and started feeling more like having his pigtails pulled.
As the insults get weaker and more watered down by Kurt's non-reaction to them, it feels like Sebastian is actually reaching to find something provocative to say.
"Come on, Hummel," Sebastian says, "talk to me here. You're getting boring in your old age."
"I'm a year younger than you," Kurt points out, holding back a chuckle, not wanting to encourage Sebastian's exasperating behavior.
"I know what this is about," Sebastian says, pulling in front of Kurt.
"And what's that?" Kurt asks, peeking in his bag as an excuse not to look at Sebastian's playful expression.
"You like me," Sebastian says, flashing his signature cocky grin.
"Right," Kurt says. "The way I like a refreshing hycolonic or an exfoliating flesh-eating disease."
"Hummel?" Sebastian sings, raising the volume of his voice, trying to attract enough outside attention to make Kurt's cheeks go red. It never works, but that doesn't mean Sebastian stops trying. "Do you like me? You have to like me? Why would you put up with my shit if you didn't like me?"
"Maybe because it's easier to ignore you than to argue with you," Kurt answers, biting the inside of his lip hard to kill his smile. "Therefore I'm in no danger of losing any IQ points by interacting with you."
Kurt turns a corner and sees the door to the choir room, which means he's nearly home-free, though day after day arriving at the choir room begins to feel like less of a relief and more of a let-down.
Sebastian steps in front of Kurt, blocking the door to the room where most of the Warblers are already assembled.
"C'mon, you know I'm hot," Sebastian says, and why his eyes flick down to Kurt's lips, he'll never know. Habit? Instinct? That's all…he thinks.
But Kurt catches it. He looks up through long lashes. He meets Sebastian's eyes and smiles the most innocent yet alluring smile Sebastian has ever seen on another human being – something he hadn't expected from Kurt, especially not here and not now, not with every Warbler sitting five feet from them. The room goes completely quiet, the Warblers not being at all subtle about the fact that they're listening to what's going on. Kurt leans in close, almost till their lips touch, but instead of kissing Sebastian (which Sebastian won't even begin to acknowledge he might have wanted) he whispers, "Yes, but then you open your mouth and ruin the illusion."
To a chorus of hooting and hollering, Kurt gives Sebastian a shove to the shoulder, pushing him out of the way. Kurt blows past Sebastian and leaves him hanging in the doorway, dealing with flushed cheeks and a rather untimely erection.