The winds in my hair, the water running down my chin, I feel as though the world is slipping away into oblivion. So today I begin a new day. A new way into the darkness that has over-welmed me today, and tomorrow, and yesterday, and the day before. It shakes me to my very core. My being, my soul, is being deeply torn from everything loved and lost. From things wanted and things burst, to things laughed at and forlorn.
I live a conspiracy, leaping great leaps through forrest and river, from sea-scape to plains. The pain in my heart ceases to cease, so I reach up above, gritting my teeth, to grasp the next rung of that ladder I am forced to climb. I feel I am running, running from my life and my friends. I see horrors on their faces when they see that I am here. That I'm alive and speaking. They quiet me, and look to the leader of their raptor-like group. She nods her beautifully ugly head, and smiles demonicly.
She knows. She always knows. She knows that I hate her. I despise her. But she does not care. She knows what I am about to say against her, and I know what she will say back to me. What she will do to me. She will push me back to the back of her mind again, not letting me free until she dies. But I want out. I want to do all the things that she wants to do but can't. I want to control myself.
But she won't let me. Let me spread my wings and fly from her mind. Our mind.
We are one being, but the one we love only knows her. Only one half of a person. The stupid, cowardly half, at that. Yes, she is a coward. She does not have the courage to let me out and tame me. She only hides me in her cavernous, misused skull, dreading the day when I break through her defenses and push her broken spirit into the prison she had kept me in for years. Yet she does nothing to quench her fear. She is a P'tach.