I Don't Know What You're Expecting Of Me
Wade Barrett has never been the kind of man who becomes easily nervous in situations whether it was facing down an opponent twice his size—hardly an issue anymore—or dealing with one of the higher-ups in the company. Even moments ago, when some psycho old woman in a beaten-up car cut him off in traffic and almost killed him, he was fine. He faces down tough situations with a level head because facing them down in any other way is impossible; his way works perfectly and has given him the strength to easily deal with situations several times. Changing his style now seems like jinxing himself, but he can't face this the way he used to.
Heath isn't an opponent, his boss, or an unstable driver. No, Heath is his boyfriend, and this is the first time Wade has been invited to Heath's house, his home, for dinner.
His palms are sweating and his heart rate is up. Unable to stop himself, he adjusts his tie and wonders what idiot came up with the idea of men wearing decorative nooses in order to look nice. The other hand might rake through his carefully combed hair if it wasn't weight down by wine.
Yeah, all he needs tonight is booze so he can lose track of his inhibitions. Fabulous.
But this is Heath; his little ginger partner in Nexus has been on his mind from the moment they first met, and it was only a matter of weeks before Wade swallowed his uncertainty and asked Heath out. Seemed like a good idea at the time, and Heath went with it. That meant something.
How they have lasted this long, Wade has no idea. He does, actually; he's been keeping his urges in track and making sure not to push the idea of anything onto the younger man. His tastes might not be traditional, in a sense, and he knows that some people become quickly unsettled or upset when they find out what kind of games he likes to play when the bedroom door is closed.
Not that he waves it in the faces of former lovers he thought might not enjoy it; he only ever mentioned it to those who seemed inclined to like something else. Some people have taken it badly, which is to be expected, and the last thing he wants to do is push Heath away by making a dangerous insinuation. Besides, if Heath wants it... Well, Wade can provide it.
He scans the neatly manicured lawn and the quaint little house, smiling to himself as he starts up the driveway to the front porch. A little path breaks off from the driveway to the front steps, smooth flat stones set into concrete. It's so quiet and quaint, not at all like the quirky little ginger he has come to know so well, but he knows better than to make assumptions based solely on appearances. Maybe Heath just happens to be a little hyperactive but likes the soothing little home he's created for himself; either way, Wade has no doubt he's going to love being here with him and trying desperately to not fuck anything up. He wants to make this work, and making this work involves watching his mouth. Hopefully, Heath doesn't plan on taking them upstairs to the bedroom for anything but sleeping because Wade will have to say no. And that will hurt.
Sighing softly, he shakes the thoughts out of his head and sets his feet on the path, following it through the grass to the front porch. Whatever happens is going to happen, and eventually he and Heath are going to have the conversation he wants so badly to avoid. Much as he loves Heath, he knows he can't just rush into intimacy with him and has done his best to draw things out and make the actual dating aspect of their relationship last. They spend so much time together at work alone, and he loves every minute of it. Even if Nexus goes nowhere—and Wade is expecting that like all stables, it will eventually fall apart—he'll still have Heath to call his own and that small reality makes a smile rise to his face, chasing the rest of the negativity away.
When he steps onto the front porch, he has to smile at the sight of the white wicker furniture with the bright yellow cushions padding them; he'll bet what money he has that they are new. Heath has a thing for Nexus yellow, always makes jokes about it or tosses more yellow items into his dressing room when he gets a chance. More often than not, Wade has opened his locker and found some sort of yellow garment hanging inside. How Heath continues to pick the locks, he has no idea. It started off with different scarves, and Wade kept them with the intention of using them on his little ginger one day. Assuming Heath enjoys what he does.
"I see you're admiring my cushions." At the sound of the voice, Wade jerks his head up and a broad smile stretches across his face at the sight of Heath in the doorway; how he missed the door opening, he doesn't know. "I found those and it made me think of us, so I grabbed them. Think it looks nice with the white, you know?" Heath bites down on the corner of his lips, and Wade laughs softly before nodding and holding an arm out to him.
The moment Heath steps closer to him, Wade closes his eyes just to enjoy having the younger man close to him. He picks up the subtle scent of either cologne or aftershave, probably the latter considering Heath keeps himself pretty clean shaven, and it makes him smell edible. The moment their embrace breaks, he opens his eyes and looks his boyfriend up and down, whistling softly at how the simple, classic attire works for him. Black dress pants and a white button-up never looked so good on a man before, and the stark colors only make the bright orange of his hair that much more noticeable. That hair drives him insane in the worst ways; he never really had any preference for hair color, but Heath plays with his hair all the time back in the locker room and spends at least half an hour brushing it out all while Wade just wanted to touch.
Now he can touch and does so, sifting his fingers through the silky soft strands to tug them back behind Heath's ears. Very few people can pull off the bright, vivid color, but Heath does it perfectly and the same autumn shade of his eyelashes complements those big brown eyes that just draw Wade in. Heath has a habit of making puppy eyes at him when he wants something, and how can Wade even begin to refuse those eyes? He can't; it's one of the many things he has to learn to cope with. Which considering how pretty they are, that's not much of a problem.
"Yeah. Cute. And you look... Beautiful." Wade cups the back of his neck, draws him closer.
Another little oddity he's learned about Heath in the time they've been together; his lips are softer than they look and he gives into every kiss without a fight. As soon as Wade nudges his lips apart, Heath presses closer to him and yields, curling his tongue around Wade's in welcome as his fingers fist in the fabric of Wade's jacket. He's sweet and soft as he curls against Wade's chest, almost huddling against him and it brings out that inner desire to truly make him helpless. No. Bad. It doesn't help that Heath is so willing and warm, and it takes a genuine effort to pull away from him. This is hardly fair, but what else can he do? He can't risk scaring Heath away.
Heath giggles and licks his lips, and Wade's heart flip-flops. "You look pretty sharp yourself."
"Thanks. You smell delicious." He leans in, nuzzles just under Heath's jaw. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too. I hate it when you have to go back home to sort out your stuff. I can't wait 'til you can live here all the time. With me." Heath flashes him a grin, and Wade returns it eagerly; the plan is to live with Heath once he has his immigration issues dealt with, and he honestly cannot wait to wake up to this pretty face. "Come on. I want to show you the house."
Wade nods and laces his fingers with Heath, not surprised when his little ginger tugs him toward the door. "Absolutely. I'm excited to finally see your place in person."
Heath nearly drags him through the front door, and Wade is immediately assaulted by the scent of food that makes his mouth water. It hardly surprises him that the food smells so good; he bets Heath can perform just as well in the kitchen as he can in the ring. Curiously, he scans the inside of the living room and isn't surprised to find it sort of peaceful, done in earthen tones that will be soothing to come home to. He can just imagine curling up with Heath on the couch, maybe with Heath sitting in his lap, just stroking his fingers through Heath's hair at the end of the day. When Heath holds his hand out, Wade surrenders the bottle of wine and loses Heath for a moment as he drifts down the hall. Minutes later, he returns and takes up Wade's hand again.
"Pretty obvious, but this is the living room." Heath gestures around, and Wade smiles and nods.
"It's very nice. I like it a lot, actually." He strokes his thumb over the backs of Heath's knuckles before lifting his hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. "Can't wait to come home here."
Heath bites down on his lip when he smiles and bumps his shoulder lightly against Wade's. "Good. I mean, I'm glad you like it since it's home. Um, let me think—"
Wade glances down the hall, eyes landing on one of the doors, and he tugs Heath toward it. "Is this the downstairs bathroom? Why don't you show—"
"What? Oh. Oh, wait, no!" Heath slaps a hand on the door just as Wade wraps a hand around the handle and twists, firmly shutting it back. "No, this room is still being worked on. I'm re-modeling it, but I'll show you what it looks like when it's done. Okay?"
"You can show me now, love. I don't have a problem with the room being in progress." He tightens his hold on the doorknob, but Heath simply shakes his head and pushes the door shut.
When Wade frowns, Heath sighs and pries his fingers away from the doorknob. "Just it's messy and I don't really want to knock anything over, you know? I'll show you when it's done."
"All right. When it's done." Wade twines his fingers with Heath's so he's holding both of his boyfriend's hands, leaning forward to brush a kiss across his lips again. A room in progress? Unlikely. But he doesn't want to push it. He'll check it out some himself later on. "Come on. Let's have some of that delicious food I can smell. You must be an excellent cook."
"My mom taught me some stuff. Nothing special." Heath shrugs, but his eyes light up anyway.
Wade scoffs and lets Heath lead him into the kitchen, making a mental note to check out that room a little later on. If he gets lucky enough to get to stay the night, he can lull Heath to sleep and then come downstairs to check for himself. It isn't that he doesn't trust Heath, but he wants to know the real reason Heath doesn't want him to see the inside of the room. If it really is just in progress, so be it and he can let it go. But he doesn't think it is, so that's something to consider.
"You ever get bored living out here?" he asks, scanning the photographs lining the walls.
"Hmm? No. I like it out here. It's quiet." Heath stops at the end of the hallway and turns to him. "So this is the dining room. I don't use it very much but since you're here..."
How can he even be real? Wade catches him by the waist and draws him closer to steal another kiss. "You are so perfect I can't believe you're mine. God, I love you."
Heath flushes slightly. "I love you, too. And it's just Southern hospitality. Follow me."
He chuckles and nods, following his little Southern ginger into the dining room... And as soon as he has Heath asleep, he plans on opening up that bedroom door and seeing the contents for himself. He trusts Heath with his life, he does. But that doesn't mean he is never going to wonder why Heath would hide something from him, much less a room in the works. Ridiculous considering the fact that if he really was working on a room, Heath probably would have asked him around before now just to ask him for help.
It takes nothing, really, to get through dinner as calmly and smoothly as possible. The food is rich and delicious, and he makes a mental note to let Heath cook as much as he wants. When it comes to repaying him, Wade will definitely make it worth his while in the long run.
A few glasses of wine and about an hour of cuddling on the couch later, and Heath is stifling yawns against the palm of his hand and dozing off periodically. An easy suggestion from Wade—coupled with I had too much to drink, too—ensures he gets to stay the night.
Heath's bedroom radiates warmth as soon as they step inside, rich in creams and browns and deep reds, and Wade knows he's going to enjoy every moment of become accustomed to this room. Predictably, Heath is too exhausted to do much more than hold still while Wade strips him down to his boxers, and for a moment, Wade just wants to call off his downstairs exploration and stay cuddled up to Heath instead. Nope, not an option. Much as he loves Heath and would enjoy nothing so much as falling asleep with Heath tucked against his chest in the middle of this massive bed, he needs to know what's behind that door and he intends on finding out.
Within minutes, they are curled up in bed and Heath is lazily murmuring to him.
"'m so glad you're here. Always wanted you here." Heath yawns, uncovered, against his chest before nuzzling against him. "Always want you here. With me. Not gone."
Wade chuckles softly and sifts his fingers through Heath's soft hair once again. "I want that, too, you know. To be here with you for as long as you'll have me."
"So you'll stay? When you can? And it's all right?" The hopeful smile he receives makes his heart flutter. The fact Heath is still so sweet is something he will never get used to.
"Absolutely. Wouldn't dream of staying anywhere else but right here with you. I love you." Wade cuts Heath off from speaking again with a kiss, soothing and gentle as he cradles the back of Heath's head. This is paradise, sweet and simple. All he needs to feel complete is Heath Slater.
Heath kisses back as best he can, his lips slow and his tongue lazy, and Wade pulls back to press kisses to his now-closed eyelids. Within moments, Heath drops off in his arms, and he carefully tucks him in before slipping out of bed and heading downstairs to the hallway.
Theoretically, this is wrong. He trusts Heath, but by snooping in this room, he knows he's making it hard for Heath to trust him and proving, in a way, that all the trust he has in Heath is limited. But it isn't even about that. He just wants to know why Heath is hiding an unfinished room from him—if there are any tasks left that he can do, maybe he can use some of his time off to help the work along. It's reasonable enough, and besides, Heath would never hide anything from him, right? So he twists the doorknob and finds a light switch. And freezes instantly.
The room is finished, furniture and all. And it's like something out of a dream because Wade has only heard of these types of rooms, never having the pleasure of seeing one for himself. The walls are painted yellow, predictably, and about halfway down are spotted with red, the dots connected with thin, swirling lines. The floor is lush cream carpeting; when he steps into it, he sinks in up to his ankles and whistles softly. Against the adjacent wall is a massive bed with a silver and white bedspread, completely untouched, and plush pillows with matching pillowcases. The bed frame is white wood and glossy, very pretty, with gauzy white curtains pulled back and secured to the tall posts. At the end of it sits a large white trunk with a padded top. Padded? Against the doorway's wall, a dresser with a wide mirror lines one wall, painted yellow and white to match the color scheme. The two windows even have gauzy white curtains to match the bed frame, and he imagines this room gets plenty of natural light during the day.
But the "normal" furniture is hardly the reason Wade is pretty sure this came out of one of his darkest dreams. Against the far wall, position between the windows, is a low padded bench with restraints attached to the legs. It takes him an honest minute to realize it's a spanking bench.
And it isn't the only kinky pierce of furniture in the room. A St. Andrew's cross is set up on the wall across from the bed, restraints gleaming in the light. To one side of it... Are those stocks? And on the other side is clearly a large cage filled with pillows that, incredibly, match the color scheme. A cage, though? Really? He scans the rest of the room; on either side of the bed are two more pieces of furniture, a bondage rack mounted on the wall and a whipping post. For a moment, he honestly thinks he's about to pass out on the floor in shock and ecstasy.
When he turns his eyes back to the far wall, he spends a moment examining all of the implements hanging from various hooks flaking the windows. Floggers, whips, paddles, canes... A treasure trove of objects, truly, and he licks his lips slowly as he imagines using any and all of those. Not that he never has, but he's never had a chance to do it with Heath.
He listens carefully to check for movement from above, then continues into the room and walks over to the far wall to examine the toys more closely. Something catches his attention out of the corner of his eye: a waist-high restraint rack, one meant to retrain someone on their hands and knees, keeping each limb pinned and still, rendering them nothing but a fuck toy to be used.
It takes him another minute to compute that all of these racy items are located inside of a room of his boyfriend's house. What in the hell is Heath doing with all of this stuff? Wade pegged him as having submissive tendencies, but this? This is a playroom worthy of anyone in the lifestyle.
The money and effort alone that must have been channeled into it in order for it to come out so clean and professional, but warm and welcoming, astounds him. And his chest aches when he realizes he's put off touching Heath intimately for all this time when his boyfriend has clearly been craving someone who will come along and be what he needs that person to be.
Heath needs someone to master him; body, mind, and soul. He wants someone to come into this room with him, to tie him up or cuff him or bind him in some way, to punish him and pleasure him, taking him to unknown heights of both. How long has it been since someone was able to give him what he wants? The fact he might have had no one is heartbreaking.
But Wade can do it. In fact, he's always wanted to do it. His cravings run dark and wild; he wants to tie someone down, dominate them and bend them to his will until he controls them. Maybe something about that is wrong and vile—he sometimes has trouble reconciling it himself—but Heath wants it. That alone is more of a balm than he ever expected.
He can do this. He has to do this for the man he loves, and he will take great pleasure in it.
The fact that Heath already has the perfect set-up is just fuel for the fire. Before he leaves here, he is bringing Heath into this room, stripping him to the skin, and earning his submission.
Not just his submission, but his trust. Heath must carry some level of shame not to say anything to him about this room, but Wade will prove to him there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Submission, after all, is such a beautiful and lovely gift.
And he plans on doing everything in his power to earn that gift from Heath.
If this isn't proof they truly are perfect for each other, Wade doesn't know what is. For years, he has hidden who he is because his past lovers have responded with such horror, and Heath has been hiding from at least him—possibly for the same reason. But together, they can satisfy their cravings and balance one another. He can be the Dominant he now knows that Heath wants, and Heath can play the submissive he has craved for so many years.
So lost in his thoughts, Wade doesn't notice the soft pad of footsteps until a hand lands on his shoulder. Shocked, he turns to see Heath behind him, eyes downcast, slightly wet.
"Well," he whispers, "I guess you found out about my dirty secret, huh?"