The Loudmouth and the Potty Mouth

Chapter one rewrite

Kain here. Some of you might be surprised by this, but I had a moment of nostalgia and was checking through old files when I stumbled across some reviews for this story. I had forgotten entirely about it until I opened it and…needless to say I was shocked and quite annoyed at my younger self for this travesty I had the gall to call a fanfic.

So I thought to myself…you know what? I don't like it, let's do something about it. And do something I shall. I'm going to fix up this mess. I'm going to use this fic to get out some ideas and frustrations I've had with other stories so bear with me as I take you on a wild ride.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. This fanfic was an adoption from another user.

Chapter one: The meeting of minds

It was some time after the retrieval mission, a few hours in fact and some jounin who were previously unavailable to do this stupid mission in the first place were now scouting for the remains of the sound nin that were sent to kidnap Sasuke. Naruto had succeeded in bringing back the Uchiha but all he had to show for it was a thanks from Sakura, a folder of money for completing an A rank mission and his tasteless jumpsuit getting destroyed from all the fighting.

As the jounin were checking the woods, one of them found a redheaded girl and knelt down by her. "Poor thing." He said as he forced chakra into his body and began to move the tree off of her. Suddenly, the girl gave a wheeze and her eyes fluttered open before closing again.

The jounin was shocked before he called out "Hey! We have a survivor over here!" and began to quickly work with the other ninja to uncover the girl. Her breathing was small and labored she had some slight gasps that sounded wet and gargled.

"Shit. Get ready to move. We're heading to the hospital ASAP." One of the other jounin said as she moved over to the girl and began to apply some healing chakra to the girls lungs. Her breathing calmed a little. "This will only last for a small bit. We need to hurry." She said as the others helped picked the girl up, position her on the first jounins back and left quickly.

-Konoha-

Tsunade had left the OR with a frown on her face. First Naruto returned looking beaten up, no doubt from the Uchiha brat, then the councils demands that she immediately attend to the Uchiha in case he was hurt and THEN the paperwork afterwards from the mission.

But that wasn't enough. Oh no, the jounin she sent out to recover the bodies of the sound ninja had suddenly burst into the ER with one of them, a kunoichi actually, and she had to assist with the surgery to keep the girl alive.

After that was done, she had the girl placed into a room with double doors, no windows and guards stationed outside because she was still an enemy. The surveilance equipment would be enough to make sure she was watched from the outside for now and damn it all, this just led to more paperwork!

No doubt the council would get wind of this eventually and demand she be executed or worse. Tsunade wouldn't let that happen…immediately. Once she was sure the girl was fully recovered, she was going to see if she could get any information out of her. If she complied, she would be leniant and nice to the girl. If she refused…well that's what Ibiki and Anko were around for.

However, there was one thing that bugged her. Their jail was full to capacity and it's not like the T&I department could contain her forever. Just then, an idea struck her. Just as she returned to her office, the frown she had on her face had slowly changed into a grin.

She needed some sake to celebrate her idea and Tsunade was sure this plan was fool proof, because for it to work…it required the aid of a fool. She made a waving motion with her hand and two ANBU appeared before her. "Bring Uzumaki Naruto to my office." She said, the grin never leaving her face.