Uurghhh... I hate being sick. It sucks big time. I´m currently lying in bed with the flu. My body is aching, my nose is running and my throat is feeling like I ate something with really sharp edges.

But the worst thing is I´m bored. I´m not allowed to stand up and you can only watch TV for so long before you grow tired of it. Reading isn´t an option either ´cause I can´t concentrate on the story.

So you can tell, that I was very relieved when my boyfriend Jake called me earlier to tell me he´s going to stop by later for keeping me some company. My dad was yet again working late so I had nothing else to do than waiting.

I must have fallen asleep during the long hours of watching the raindrops drawing patterns on my window because the next thing I know is me jolting awake to a pitchblack room by an annoying sound coming from my cell phone. After I calmed my heartbeat down and successfully fought my confused brain into working straight I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. I saw that I had one new textmessage from Jake. `Hey babe. I thought about it again and I think we should delay my visit. This way you can cope and I can work on my homework a little bit more. But it´s only delayed not cancelled. Are you ok with that? Big kiss´

I had to read the message three times before I could make sense of it. I looked at the time he sent it and saw that I received it half an hour ago. After a quick glance at my watch on the nightstand I saw that it was already 10 pm. I couldn´t believe it. Jake stood me up and only wrote such a sorry excuse of an explanation? It´s saturday for god´s sake. He didn´t even call. And the evening was already over when he wrote that offending piece of text.

Now I was mad. We hadn´t seen each other for 2 whole weeks now and the moment I really needed him he stood me up. If I wasn´t unable to even walk down the stairs in my condition I would have driven to his stupid home and give him some piece of my mind. If it was ok with me? Hell no it wasn´t. I´m sick and I need him to care for me and to hug me and to stroke my cheek and tell me I´m still beautiful despite my running nose and blotchy eyes. What a boyfriend is he when he cares more for himself than for his girlfriend?!

We had been together for the better part of two years now. When I moved in with my father after my mum remarried Jake had been the first one my age to greet me and we skipped the being friends station and became a couple after 3 weeks. Most of the time he was funny and followed me like a lost puppy. First I was kind of irritated about his state of nearly adoration for me because I don´t like the attention but I got used to it because he never made me believe I had to give him something in return. For the last couple of month though he seemed to be more distant and less kind and sweet to me but instead of that hang out with that pack of reservation kids more often. I didn´t give that much attention first because I too made new friends an had a lot of other things in my mind but this stupid text message made me realize that I didn´t know Jake anymore. He wasn´t my Jake anylonger.

At this thought the tears prickeld in my eyes and let out a frustated sigh.

I perked my ears as I heard a shuffling sound right outside my window. When I squeezed my eyes into slits I could make out a huge shadow dircetly on the other side of the glass. The next moment the window slid open and tall figure gracefully landed on my carpet. I was ready to scream as the man put down his hoody which protected his face from the rain. As I saw a shock of bronze hair I let out a sigh of relief.

Edward shook his head which brought his silky locks even more in disray and lifted his chin to flash me his signature crooked grin.

The Cullens moved in next door circa one year ago. Dr. Cullen and his wife Esme brought 3 teenage kids with them who enveloped at the same High School like me. It is not that big of a coincidence as the tiny town of Forks only has one High School so I wasn´t surprised that I had nearly all my classes with at least one of the new kids. They immediatly were the new It topic of the whole teenage population and soon became very popular. I didn´t talk to them much except the normal polite greetings when we ran into each other. But I was intruiged like every other one.

They were georgious. All of them. Not only the tiny pixie like girl named Alice but also the two boys. Emmet was big. He had a huge amount of muscles which would have made him intimidating if he wouldnt always wear that huge grin on his face that made his eyes sparkle like a little boy. The other sibling that currently removed himself from his sneakers and wet hoody and made himself at home beside me on my bed with that grin on his face he only reserved for me, at least I told myself that, wasn´t as burly or big as Emmet but he had also a tall built and a lean rippled body. His face was the prettiest I have ever seen. He even stood out besides Rosalie Hale who was the most beautiful creature on earth and Emmets girlfriend since the Cullens moved here. Edward wasn´t as outgoing as Emmet and rather kept to himself what made the female part of the Forks High students lust after him even more. You need to get to know him before you can see his boyish side when he plays pranks on Emmet or hides the make up of Alice. And you need to get to know him before he would be willing to show you his more vulnerable side. It took me half a year before he played the piano for me and showed me some of his own compositions.

Becoming friends with the Cullen kids was an idea of our parents. Esme and Carlisle Cullen wanted their children to have some friends in Forks so they invited the neighbours for a get together. First it was awkward because the boys recognized me from school but obviously neither knew I lived next door nor could remember my name. Alice was nowhere near sight. My pride took a little bump with that behaviour so I blushed crimson like my traitorous body would always do in humilating situations but the polite daughter of the police chief I am I greeted them with names and made an attempt of being a good example.

I felt little sparks of joy run through me when the 2 guys in front of me threw each other uncomfortable glances before they introduced themselves again. I had to hide a little laugh before I heard a squeal and was nearly knocked over by something that threw itself with force from the bottom of the stairs at me. I looked down and saw tiny Alice hugging me and brabbling on how great it was to finally meet me properly in person and how we would become the best friends ever. Alice told her brothers that I´m the Bella girl she told them about that she was too shy to talk to in school. After that incidence the ice was broken and we became good friends.

A really appetizing smell broke me from my reveries and I saw Edward pulling out a thermos cane with steaming soup. He watched me closely for the first time today and suddenly pulled my chin up for better access to my face. There spread a scowl on his forhead as he scrutinized the tear stains on my cheeks. `Whose ass am I kicking?´ Those were the first words he said to me velvety voice sent shivers down my spine and I wondered why I would react to him this way everytime he talked to me, touched me or even just looked at me with this piercing green eyes. He didn´t let go of my chin as I tried to avert my gaze. His eyes always forced me to tell the truth.

I couldn´t help myself but telling him everything that happened and that made me upset. Edward held me in his arms and let me spill my guts without interrupting but I could feel him tense more with every sentence I said. When I finished my tirade he made me look at him. His impressive eyes held anger but he controlled himself immediatly and his eyes shone with sincerety as he brushed his thumps over my cheeks to remove the tears. After he was satisfied my cheeks were dry he tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear and whispered something under his breath. I thought I heard words like `You are always beautiful` but that must be my imagination.

Edward and me had been best friends since the day he had broken his knuckles and his siblings abandoned him. He was devastated because he couldn´t play the piano and Emmet and Alice rather went on a double date with their other halfs than spent time with their brooding brother so I went over and tried to distract him the best I could. So I told him about all my embarassing moments in front of the greater part of the school and soon had him in tears from laughing.I was glad I could make him feel better and he thanked me profusely for spending my friday night with him instead going out with my boyfriend. Till this moment I hadn´t even thought about Jake and his absence. He hadn´t called or anything. But I was happy where I was. Edward made me feel interesting and comfortable. Since that night we hang out as often as we could and were inseperable in school.

He would constantly tease me about my clumsiness but at the same time he would be there everytime I managed to fall over my own feet to save me from the hurtful impact with the floor.

Coming back from my memories I saw Edward turning away from pulling open the thermos can with the soup and pouring some of it into the top cover for me. With a sweet smile he handed me the cup. I blushed and took it from him. His hands brushed against mine and an eletric shock flooded through my hand up my whole arm.

I looked hurriedly in Edwards face. His look must have mirrored mine. Eyes wide, mouth slightly open, hands frozen. He felt it too. `What was that?` he looked at me like I would have an explanation. I shook my head and began eating the soup. Edward leaned back against my headboard seemingly deep in thought as he absentmindly started playing with my hair. I tried not to lean into his touch as he caressed my brown locks. While eating my soup I tried to sort out my confusing feelings. Why am I feeling these things? Or more important what the hell are these things?

I´m not sure I really wanna know. But his stupid bitch of a girlfriend would surely get a stroke if she would see Edward here with me. He he... Wait.. What?! Where did that come from? I mean yeah she is stupid and if I´m being honest she´s a bitch, too but since when do I wanna get her jealous?... Omygod. I´m in deap . Time for that later, when I´m alone.

Again I was pulled out from my space out as I felt Edward moving beside me. He had turned to his side and was watching over my shoulder out of the window. Taking a closer look at his face I could see deep shadows under his eyes and sorrow written in the crease of his forhead.

`What´s wrong Edward. You are looking bad.` he watched me for a while before answering. He looked like he was contemplating of telling me truth or not. `Why thank you for your complement dear Bella. You always know how to make me feel flattered.´ I lifted my eyebrow and said nothing, waiting if he would telling me more. Finally he sighed and sat up sliding a hand through his hair.

`Tanya said some things I disagree with. That´s all. And I don´t know wether I wanna be with her any longer.´`Well congratulations at your epiphany. Looks like we both can enjoy our single lifes again soon.` On the inside I did a little happy dance for the good news. It was about time Edward realized his girlfriend wasn´t the angel he made of her. At the same time my words shocked me. I didn´t know I felt this strongly towards the Jake incident. More to contemplate later.

Edward looked strangely at me. I think I saw emotions ranging between disbelief, hope and fear behind his eyes but as quick as they came they were gone again so I couldn´t be sure. And why should he feel hope. It´s not like he couldn´t stand Jake or it?

Anyway I was still not feeling well so I decided those emotional stuff and things could wait till laterfor there were more important things at hand like our favorite tv show. Seemingly we thought alike for Edward had already turned the tv on and was humming the opening credits.

During the second break we had made ourselves comfortable on my bed and Edward had drifted into a slumber. His arm were slung around my waist and his head was lying on my stomach. I just watched him breathing for a while admiring his beautiful features. As I brushed some hair strand out of his forhead my thoughts turned back to the earlier let´s make a quick check up. First I believe I don´t wanne be any longer with Jake. I was upset about this stupid text but not surprised. I didn´t await his visit and I was no longer sad because Edward came and took my thoughts into better directions. Where we would be at number two of Bella´s weird ideas. I liked to look at Edward. He made me laugh. He made me happy. He was there for me when Jake wasn´t. I called him beautiful for god´s sake. More than once. I liked it when he hold me and when he touched me. I thought about him when he wasn´t there and wanted to tell him some stupid jokes immediatly when I heard them and not Jake. I felt myself smile when he looked at me and my heart did a weird thing like skipping a beat. Was this even healthy? Whatever back to business. I liked Edward Cullen. Shit. I liked my best friend Edward Cullen! More than I should like a best friend. More than I liked my boyfriend. I looked back at the man of topic still stroking his hair. His breath found a way through my shirt and tickled my stomach. The knot in my guts from earlier loosend some and I felt my spine tingle. Maybe it wasn´t too bad to be in love with your best friend.

And it certainly was an advantage that he lived next door. My.. Bella you shouldn´t have taken that much cold medicine. Ok now what? Telling him? No way. That would be too embarassing. I need to know how he feels first. But why should he love someone like me when he could have tons of prettier girls. The red nose and stringy hair won´t help. Slowly the warmth backtracked from my body and I was cold again. There would nothing chsng between Edward and me. I should be happy that he was my friend. That´s enough, isn´t it? The last thought before I went into a deep sleep was that I still needed to break up with Jake. It wouldn´t be fair otherwise. As I was nearly asleep deeply inhaling the sweet scent of Edward´s hair I thought I heard my name being said. When I watched at Edward´s face he had a small smile on his lips but was still dreaming. I must have imagined it.

The next morning Edward had already left when I awoke but had written a note that he would return later on and made the promise of more soup. Smiling I checked my phone for any new messages and decided I would talk to Jake as soon as possible. Because I still felt under the weather I wrote him a text message that I wanted to talk to him and when he would have time to meet up.

To my surprise he answered after a few minutes. But that was all good news. He said he was really busy and that he didn´t know when he could take a minute but that he hoped I was feeling better.

Still pissed about the other rejection I tried calling him. Mailbox. How did he manage to put off his phone so quickly? Anyway this way I could practise my speech. After all I didn´t want to hurt him. Two hours later I tried again and he answered on the seventh ring.