Dear Gray,

I have written many love letters to you in the past, but this one is not like the others. This one is different. This one is to say goodbye.

But how does one say goodbye to someone who used to be their everything?

You were, Gray, you were my everything.

Ever since that day we met when the clouds parted, the sun shone, the rain stopped, and I fell in love. I fell in desperate, reckless, passionate, all of a sudden love. The kind that takes you by surprise. The kind that sweeps you off your feet and leaves you breathless. The sappy, deep, romance novel kind of love. And it was bliss.

But it was also stress and tears and sleepless nights crying over you. It was wanting, needing you to love me. Needing it to stop being you and me and start being us.

I felt a roller coaster of emotions. That jump in my stomach when I saw you walk towards me, that burst of electricity when you touched me, the warm feeling when we talked, the stab of jealousy when you were with another girl, the feeling of a tsunami washing me away when you said anything to make me doubt that you could ever love me.

And yet, I loved it all, because it connected me to you. To you, my beautiful, my wonderful, my perfect Gray.

There were times when I was so sure that there was a chance for us. That you loved me as much as I loved you. That I could hold your hand and share an ice cream with you, or kiss you under the full moon, or splash in the ocean on a warm summer evening with you. And then there were times when I could feel all that hope fall and dash on sharp rocks. Soon the moments when I felt hope happened substantially less often than the moments that all hope was lost.

And yet I persisted.

I came up with all sorts of scenarios, each crazier and more far-fetched than the last. Scenarios that I included you professing your love for me. Scenarios that could keep me hyped on the drug that is love at least until morning. But the scenarios became harder to imagine, and eventually all the circumstances that were in our lives made it so hard to picture these scenarios that I may as well have been dreaming of another couple with another life.

And my hope began to dwindle. My tears came more constantly. The image of you and me together was starting to look less believable. I was starting to believe that we could never be an us. We would always be a me and you.

And one day, as I sat in the eye of my storm, I realized something. I needed to let you go. I needed to put my love aside so that both you and I could live. Really live.

And so comes this letter. And this letter is to say goodbye. Goodbye, and I loved you.

I loved your barely there smile, like a hint of the sun behind a cloud. I loved your unconscious stripping habits, though I hated that other girls could see you strip. I loved how you cared so fiercely about the people close to you, and I did everything in my power to be one of those people. I loved how defensive you became when something important to you was threatened. I loved your sarcastic humor when it came to fighting with Natsu, though I suppose there wasn't really anything sarcastic about it. I loved catching you happy, because it made me happy. I loved catching you dreaming, because your dreams were my dreams. I loved how you, and you alone could chase away my clouds and bring back the sun. I loved everything about you. I loved it all. I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, I love you, I love you, I still do.

But even so, I have to say goodbye.

The conclusion is the hardest part. It is the actual goodbye. And I have no idea how to say it. But I'll try.

Goodbye Gray. My love for the boy who made the rain go away is never-ending.

Love, Juvia