Okay guys, this is obviously a Mario Kart fic. (Duh!) And, I'm not going to spoil anything, but you can relate if you played at least one of the following: Mario Kart: Double Dash!, Mario Kart DS, Mario Kart Wii, and Mario Kart 7. I'm not sure about my skills writing the legitimate race, but the point itself seems solid enough to me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.
Warning: contains item rape.
Nah, I'm just kidding. Seriously, however, it does.
At first, Rosalina thought it was not going to end out well for her. Thankfully, she was wrong. At least, at first.
You see, Rosalina was in the next Grand Prix: the most recent incarnation of the Shell Cup. She had tried racing with Mario and his friends previously, and she actually liked the experience. A while back, Mario and co had their first racing competition. They had divided five courses into four cups, and they all had so much fun (even Bowser) that they decided to hold them ever couple of years. This one was currently the seventh. The fith, Mario decided they didn't have enough courses to quench everyone's competitive thirst, and since they could only use money for a maximum of sixteen courses, (Only the first had enough for twenty, and that was because they remodeled some tracks multiple times) the only option the plumber felt he had was to dig up some old favorites and create four new cups with four returning courses, effectively doubling the racing options to thirty-two.
Rosalina had only joined the racing scene late into the sixth racing competition, and she proved to be quite a formidable opponent. She didn't win, but she DID take trophies in the Special Cup and Flower Cup. She claimed it was because the Special Cup final was her home turf and Daisy, Mario, and Peach were especially helpful with her training. Though admittedly Peach and Rosalina often practiced Coconut Mall just so the pink princess had an excuse to steal ("using my people's services and paying them with my gratitude," according to her) some clothing, and coffe if she was feeling tired. Rosalina also apparently had quite a fanbase, which was why she was in the situation she was in.
The racing fans loved to watch Rosalina race. Unlike most of the other racers, Rosalina didn't freak out the first time on the forways. She just tried her best and tried to not hold any grudges. Though everyone enjoyed watching a poor newcomer face the wrath of bombs, shells, and cleverly disguised fake item boxes, the fans were impressed by the Celestial Stunner's calm and collected demeanor. Though some had noticed Rosalina didn't ever participate in the Retro Cups, they just assumed she had joined too late to have much of a chance to sign herself up. Now, though, she was ready from the get-go, and the fans were becoming skeptical about her avoidance of Retro Cups. She didn't want to disappoint them, so she signed up for the new Shell Cup at the last minute.
She didn't want too. She really didn't. Rosalina disliked retro cups due to being relatively new to the racing scene. Point being, she KNEW she wasn't going to know most of these courses. She checked the course list just to reassure herself she had reason to be pessimistic.
SHELL CUP
Luigi Raceway
Bowser Castle 1
Mushroom Gorge
Luigi's Mansion
Yep, she only knew the third one. Fantastic.
So, here she was. In her garage. Intentionally switching between car choices over and over again, knowing she was very well going to try her hardest to get out of it. Unfortunately, no matter how hard the space princess tried, she was going to have to get out there eventually. And that's because a certain persistent turtle was going to make her.
"Hey, Rosalina, the race is starting soon," a Lakitu announced. Yep. No getting out of it now. Still, she could at least try futilely.
"...And?"
"And YOU are going out in...20 seconds, whether you want to or not."
"What if I don't?" the princess said.
"I will hook your kart and place you on the race track, so give up!'
"Fine! Just a second..." Rosalina realized she had no idea what combination she wanted, so she just grabbed a kart with her emblems, Standard Wheels, and Super Glider. As she quickly scampered into her kart, she noticed it was the Birthday Girl. Well, at least I THINK I have a balanced kart, she thought. The garage door slightly opened.
"Good luck," the Lakitu said.
"I''m sure I'll do great."
"Oh come on, you know even if you do bad, you'll just get a Bullet Bill and get first place at the last moment."
"That was Mario Kart Wii. It doesn't go NEARLY as fast now. The blue shell even hits people who aren't in first now! And we just broke the fourth wall."
"The readers will deal. Off you go!" the Lakitu pushed her out of her garage.
Rosalina faked a calm demeanor as she 'leisurely' drove to her starting position: eigth place. She wasn't unlucky, it was just that since the driving positions were first come first serve, she got the last spot. She blamed her hesitation. And her 'fans.' Well, not backing out of it now. Even if she exhibited just as much road rage as everyone else did.
This was it. The race was starting now. And she was in it. Frantically, she quickly scanned her competitors. They were Honey Queen, Peach, Koopa Troopa, Lakitu (Ugh! she thought), Yoshi, Mario, and Luigi.
Okay, of her seven competitors, four of them knew this track. Well, that wasn't so bad. At least she could nail a mid range place, if she persisted. Then, a beep went off.
3...
2... Rosalina slammed on her gas pedal.
1... This one seemed to go on forever.
GO!
Rosalina wasn't paying attention when she lurched forward, so it made her jump. "Woohoo!" She exclaimed. She got the feeling she started late, as such, the smal boost only propelled her up to sixth. Strangely, when she quickly glanced back, Mario and Luigi were behind her. Huh. Maybe they're planning to get a good item and show us all up at the end, she thought. Still, for the beginning of the race, they were pretty far back. Why, they were feet in front of the starting line and Rosalina saw her fellow racers start going up the first hill!
Speaking of which, Rosalina saw Honey Queen, Peach, Koopa Troopa, Lakitu, and Yoshiin front of her in that order of place. The turtles looked like they were one big racer!
"Huh!" she grunted as she performed a trick over the ramp. Rosalina was still in sixth, though Yoshi was right beside her. Her item box granted her a star.
Though Rosalina had played not this course before, she was cunning. She used her star and cut across the curve. She had snagged two coins at the end, and though Koopa Troopa, the only unfortunate soul in front of her, vainly tried to avoid her, she drifted out adn hit him from the side. "Yay!" The sly girl saw her star power run out and Koopa Troopa drop to third fast, meaning the others were close.
Still, she went through the tunnel, seeing herself race on the screen first, of course. She got a banana from the next item box and at the end of teh tunnel, no one passed her up. Huh.
She tried to get Honey Queen to hit her banana, but the royal bee dodged it and deployed bananas of her own. They missed, and when the princess shot a green shell, the queen was hit. Glancing at her screen, Rosalina noted that the bros, were still in last, and Peach was the only vet really able to catch up to her now. The Koopa Troopa, ironically, was pursuing Rosalina as lap 1 ended, with Rosalina in possesion of three coins. Had she been worried over nothing? Hopefully so.
As if on cue, a Blooper sprayed her as she got her next item box. "Ugh!" Now she missed a trick oppurtunity.
Despite her sight hampered, the princess snagged two more coins and got a banana. Again.
Uh-oh, Peach and Koopa were battling it out behind her, and they weren't far behind.
A shell ricocheted past her. Thanks, Koopa. Here came the tunnel. Unfortunately, someone else/maybe the same person fired a green shell. It richocheted off a tree and her Rosalina's car, right in the middle "Ahh!" There went two coins.
Honey Queen and Koopa passed the girl, but she regained some speed before another princess could."Agh!" Another green shell. From that other princess.
"Haha!" she mocked.
"Bye-bye!" Mario mocked as he past her. "Heh!" Good. Mario fired a blue shell, Rosalina tutting as she passed poor Koopa into third.
Rosalina was in first at the first bend of the final lap...passing both royalty Peach and Honey Queen. She got a green shell. Rosalina swore she felt a minor twitch but she couldn't focus on that. She needed to win.
She snagged four coins successfully, and a green shell hit her green shell. Seriously, what's up with these things? She wondered, passing a banana.
She saw Koopa snag second again, persistent little thing. As she skidded through the tunnel, she got...a banana. Too bad that wouldn't save her from the horror.
Koopa fired two red shells, and Rosalina could only deflect the first. Then, he slammed the breaks and patiently waited as Rosalina was about to be obliterated by a blue shell. "FUUUUUUUUUUU-" "LOL CENSORSHIP" said the blue shell. That was her last word before she watched as her rankings dropped, only Mario and Luigi were there when she started driving again. She could see could see Mario chuckle by, and Luigi smashed her with a bullet.
Eighth with two coins. That was what Rosalina ended with. It turned out her biggest enemy was not a veteran of the track, but a veteran of the series itself. Koopa. The scores were posted: First Koopa, Second Honey Queen, Third Peach, Fourth Yoshi, Fith Lakitu, Sixth Mario, Seventh Luigi, and her. Eighth. She didn't even get to cross the line.
Unbelievable.
The Lakitu who had forced her to race flew over and patted her on the back assuringly as the space princess cried. "You know, you shouldn't have said the Bullet Bill was slow and that the Blue Shell hits other people."
End