A/N: I'm so sorry guys, I know it has been so long and you were probably wondering if I even still existed. Well I do! Shool has just been crazy. In fact I should be studying instead of writing this, but hey, everyone needs a break.
However, summer is coming so I trust I will have time to finally get back to my other stories. In the mean time, a quick little Dramione.
Enjoy
fan fiction
noun
noun: fanfiction
fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, film, etc.
Draco's eyes bulged as he scanned the content of this so-called fan fiction site. He had heard from this muggle invention named comupter and had thought it might be fun to search his name in the so called Googel on the irternets.
What he found was something else entirely.
Time to find a quill and some parchment.
XXX
1991-1992
Filthy little Muggles!
How dare you call me a spoiled little brat? I am not spoiled, and I am certainly not a brat. I am the heir of the Malfoy family, and you Muggles should show respect to your superiors!
I will not waste another scrap of parchment and another drop of ink from my quality quill (H. Bekleys' finest eagle quills, 88 Galleons, 17 sickles and 4 knuts).
Draco Abraxas Malfoy,
Son of Lucius Caelum Malfoy and Narcissa Druella Malfoy née Black,
Grandson of:
Abraxas Phineas Malfoy and Allanis Auriga Sewlyn
Cygnus Pollux Black and Druella Violetta Rosier
Heir of the Malfoy family, member of the Sacred 28.
Sanctimonia Vincet Semper.
P.S: Wait till my Father hears about this.
XXX
1992-1993
Filthy Muggles,
Imagine my surprise when I stumbled on some of your awful creations again after my warning a year ago. Firstly, I am better at quidditch then Potter! Those stupid Gryffindors just always cheats, and that mudblood loving McGonagall allows it.
No matter, the Heir of Slytherin will get you next. He already got that filthy Mudblood Granger you all seem to adore. Her bushy hair and buck-toothed mouth will no longer be seen here at Hogwarts.
Neither will Dumbledore by the way. I do hope Professor Snape will become headmaster.
Oh, and that oaf Hagrid? Yeah, he is gone too. All thanks to my father.
Immensely looking forward to your death,
Draco Abraxas Malfoy
Sanctimonia Vincet Semper.
XXX
1993-1994
You filthy Muggles,
Still at it, I see? Well, I would like to clarify a few things: firstly, I would never let that Mudblood hit me. You must have misunderstood what happened. I did not have my want on me, and besides I was still hurt from that disgraceful Hippogrif.
Now, I have to go. Loads of things to do this summer, and next year shall be pretty eventful.
Draco Abraxas Malfoy
P.S: you really don't know what will happen next year? Well, what can I say, the minister of magic at least knows my father by name.
XXX
1994-1995
Muggles, Mudbloods and Blood Traitors will be the firsts to go!
That's what my father told me after the world championship Quidditch. Already quivering from fear? Well, they almost got Granger. She really should learn to keep her head down.. one of this days Potter is going to drag her down with him. I also wanted to let you know that Krum is a horrible player. And Granger looked awful in those robes. The colour totally clashed with her skin, and her hair was.. tamed but that's all.
And did you see Weasley's robes? Ha, he finally accepted he's a girl. His family really cannot sink lower.
And if I had been chosen as Hogwarts champion, I would've been way better than Potter.
Insincerely,
Draco Malfoy
By the way, Rita Skeeter still owes me a favour. So I'd be careful if I were you.
And I am NOT A FERRET!
XXX
1995-1996
Fanfiction writers,
Potters end is soon coming. That house-elf will have made sure of it.
Also, You finally noticed my hotness, didn't you? Well I knew it would happen one of this days. However, what is NOT going to happen, NEVER going to happen is Granger. Have you looked at her? She's an uptight, know-it-all, holier-than-though, Mudblood, and you want me, Draco Malfoy paired up with her? Seriously, Dramione, what the hell is that?
Now, I have to go. Gryffindor first years are so easy to scare. And Granger can't say a thing about it, or she loses her precious house point.
Draco Malfoy,
Prefect and inquisitor of Dolores Umbridge, headmistress of Hogwarts.
P.S: I loathe that woman, do something about her would you?
XXX
1996-1997
I just- I can't, I can't do this anymore. I, finally, find.. some.. bloody time and-and I see.. this. Do you really think I wanted this? Do you? Yeah? Well, let me tell you something. I really would want to see you refuse to do such an assignment, knowing your family will die. Your mother will die. I didn't want this! I did not-
Writers,
After I finish off Dumbledore you'll be next.
DM
XXX
1997-1998
Writers,
The good side won! Yeah! The Death Eaters are getting the Kiss and going to Azkaban, may they rot there. Everyone is happy!
Not.
DM
XXX
1998-1999
Dear Fanfiction writers,
I find myself once more in Hogwarts, roaming these halls. Not as Head Boy, mind you. Oh, and Granger isn't Head Girl. And that shared common room? Nope, it does not exists.
Oh and Granger and I, not in love. Not even close. She'll have her happily ever after with the ginger weasel. Even when he is not here, the she-weasel can't stop reminding her about him.
Ron this, Ron that.. dear Ronnie-ickins hasn't written her one single time. Too busy with helping his brother and grieving and being auror and what-not.
Want to know the truth? He is too busy flirting with Parvati Patil. Has been seen going out with her many times but Granger still claims they're only friends. If you ask me, it's Brown all over again.
However, I am very happy, even though Astoria won't leave me alone. Thinks it would be nice to get married. If mother had nothing to do with it I'll gauche my eyes out.
Beter, I'll gauches Granger's out. She is still an annoying know-it-all. Can't shut up for a second. Talks, talks, talks, talks..
Oh, is that the time, I have to go! She's going to kill me!
Draco
P.S: Draco is totally not in love with the girl.. everyone can see it. That's why he is running to meet her. Seems you writers got one thing right.
For the record, all the rest is wrong. I am not annoying, I am not in love with Draco, we're just friends, I am not a silly girl who only thinks about her appearance, and I am NOT pug-faced!
Insincerely,
Pansy Parkinson
I am not really pug-faced, am I? am I? *checks mirror*
XXX
July 1999
Dear Fanfiction writers,
You were wrong. My mother was arrested and taken to Azkaban, due to helping the Dark Lord. They just waited till I was back from Hogwarts to do it. On the bright side, Granger agreed to help me look over her case, and if she doesn't find anything, then nobody will. She's brilliant that girl.
Oh, and there are some troubles in paradise with her beloved weasel. Just thought I'd let you know.
Sincerely,
Draco
XXX
2000
Dear writers,
St. Mungo's has admitted my mother. Apparently the Azkaban guards thought it would be fun to put her in a cell with some Dementors. She didn't get the Kiss, but that's all. Kingsley is furious. Hermione Granger is doing all she can to convict the guards, but the public just doesn't care. It was a Malfoy after all, why should they. Hermione says I don't have to be that grim but the truth is, even if the guards are punished, she will still be damaged.
Want to know something else? They put her in the same ward as the Longbotoms. Oh, the irony.
One more little thing: My eyes are GRAY. Not 'deliciously blue'. But gray. I praise myself in having an original eye colour.
Sincerely,
Draco
XXX
2001
Dear authors,
Hermione told me that her parents are also in St. Mungo's due to a spell she performed on them. I guess we only have each other now. They are slowly healing, but that's all.
I also want to make a couple of things clear: I wouldn't be caught dead in leather pants, I am not, was not, and will NEVER be a 'Slytherin sex God' (guys come on), Granger isn't the 'Gryffindor princess', and Pansy is just a friend. Astoria Greengrass is the most annoying, spoiled brat on the universe.
Also, there is no record of an Ebony Raven Dark'ness Dementia Way in Hogwarts, and even if she had attended 'I wuld nvr fall 4 a gurl with fangz.' Never.
That said, I'll let you in on a little secret. I am going to propose to the love of my life tonight. I would tell you who she is, but I have an inkling you already know. (and NO, it is not Potter! Drarry? Please, that sounds even worse as Dramione. And Tomione? Voldemort is dead, and tell that bastard to get his hands of my girl. And what is Scorose? A disease?
About Romione: tell him, and I quote: "I got the girl. I win and you lose."
Sincerely,
Draco
XXX
2002
"Draco, what are you doing?" Hermione asked.
"I just need to finish writing this letter, darling. I have some people to thank"
Smiling, she kissed him slowly, sweetly.
"As long as you don't keep me waiting too long, Mr. Malfoy"
"I wouldn't dream of it.. Mrs. Malfoy" he teased.
She laughed, and like the first time, he found it the most beautiful sound in the world.
Dear fanfiction authors,
This will be the last letter you ever receive from me. I am not the boy I used to be anymore, and I am ready to move on.
I just wanted to say thank you. Without you, I would have never seen Hermione for who she really is, and even though the idea sounded crazy at first, I am in love with it now. (Or, I am crazy. Who knows. By the way: Dramione, really? Still no..)
Please keep writing, but taking all that I've said into account. I think I've given you enough guidance for you to be able to handle it alone. I won't be reading it anymore, because like I said, I am ready to move on. My life has become better than fantasy could ever be.
Sincerely,
Draco
P.S: Thanks for passing Weasley the message. Last time he saw me he gave me a glare that would make even a Basilisk quiver with fear. I just smirked right back at him and pulled Hermione in for a kiss.
Dear writers,
I believe I should thank you too, though I am not sure I like the way you characterise me sometimes. But, I have to admit. 'Dramione' is a wonderful invention. I still don't understand how I could believe Ron was the one for me.
In adition to what Draco said, yes, please keep writing. I agree with most of his remarks, all though you shouldn't believe that he isn't a conceited prat anymore. He still is, he just got better at hiding it. You must be wondering why I married him? I could give you the whole story, but I have a feeling you could write a better one, keeping in mind the key-word: Love.
Now I need to go.
All my love,
Hermione Granger
Draco smiled as he read what his wife had written. Only the name had him shaking his head. He scrambled something down quickly.
Hermione GrangerMalfoy
There. Much better.
You know, if you review, I might be able do get back a little faster. Yes, totally black mailing you.
Disclaimer: 'I dn't own 'cus Im fun and fabulus. Fangz evryone!'
If you don't get the reference go look up: My Immortal, worst fanfic ever and you will. For more fun, type in dramatic reading and enjoy a good laugh.
Lots of Love! Kathy :)