To the little punk who wants to date my little girl, before you take my baby out were gonna go over a few rules so pay attention because I don't like repeating myself twice.
1. I make the rules.
You will follow my rules when you are with my daughter. Don't like it? Don't go out with her.
2. Keep all body parts to yourself.
When you're with my daughter the only thing that will be allowed is hand holding, if you're hands go beyond anything else I will break both of your hands. If any parts of your body touches my daughter you're gonna need a hospital.
3. Don't lie to me because I'll find out.
One thing I hate is a liar. If you ever lie to me I will find you and when I do you won't like what I do.
4. You make her cry I'll make you cry.
Another thing I hate most of all is seeing my little girl crying. If I see her cry and it was you're fault, you will be going for a ride.
5. Understand this, I don't like you.
You may be going out with my little girl that doesn't mean I have to like you. I will never like you however to make my little girl happy I will tolerate you.
Still with me? Good let's continue.
6. Let's talk about one thing, sex.
I know that teenagers do that but if I ever find out that you did that with Jordan, I will find you and cut off your manhood. If you want to keep that then keep your manhood away from my little girl.
7. You must dress appropriately.
When taking Jordan out your clothes must not sag they must be on very tightly, if you need help adjusting I can help you with my electric nail gun.
8. You will come to the door to pick Jordan up.
When you come to pick her up you will get out of your car come inside, wait patiently for Jordan while waiting me. If you can't wait no more than ten minute then go on the date alone or go home.
9. Be home on time.
If you don't have my daughter home before her curfew I will come and find you, my team will come and find you. They better find you before I do, don't make me come and find you because you will not like what I do. Just get my daughter home safely and on time. When you bring her home I will wait on the porch while cleaning and fixing my gun.
10. Be afraid.
I'm one of the people you should be very afraid when it comes to my little girl. When it comes to her I will always be around. She has been and always will be my princess. I'm the one she comes to when she's scared or upset. I know many people in this city they get scared when they hear my name as will you.
11. I'm everywhere.
I'll be watching you when you least expect it. Whenever you turn around just ask yourself, is he watching me? Where is he? You may never see me but I'll always see you.
12. Whatever you do to her I'll do to you.
If you cause my princess any kind of pain you'll know what that feels like when I do it to you then once I'm finished my team will want a word with you.
13. If this was unclear see rule #1 for clarification.
Now that we have finished that, if you still wish to date my little girl just go over these rules. Know them, learn them, love them. If any of these rules gets broken I will hunt you down across this city and when I find you, you will find out the consequences for breaking a rule. Understand? Great.