Primes were forbidden to love. They could not bond, they could not hold another close, they could not share their quarters. They were symbols of Primus, untouchable, pure and held in the highest of standards.

Was it wrong to desire one, then? Did wishing her Prime would take in her in his arms and tell her he would make the pain go away make her an abomination to Primus?

She couldn't have cared less. Everything else about their world was gone, why should she care for archaic laws that should have perished along with Cybertron? They had no need for them in this new world.

So why did she feel compelled to remain silent?

-0-

It was bitterly cold in the Arctic, lying on the snow like this. It didn't matter; they were both going to perish soon. At least they'd be together. She touched his hand as she listened to his calm voice, a comfort even on the edge of death. If she was going to tell him, now would be the only chance she would have. The way he turned his hand over and held her smaller one gave her hope.

"…It's been an honour serving with you, Optimus Prime."

Even on the brink of death, she was still too cowardly to admit it.

He seemed to hesitate before nodding slowly, as though he'd been about to say something. Did it matter now? Perhaps not. Some small part of her wondered if he had his own confession, then dismissed it.

Later, she wondered what would have become of them if she had dared to admit her feelings. Maybe she wouldn't be feeling so alone.

-0-

She watched him recover from the plague, spark aching with what could have been the loss of another so close to her spark. Was she doomed to love those who would pass on before her? Sometimes it seemed that way, as though Primus wanted her to suffer. She'd sat by him while Ratchet prepared the cure, holding his hand in both of hers despite the size difference. Her duties to Jack tore her away before she could say much to him when he awoke from his illness. When she returned, he gave her the smallest of smiles, she nodded at him and that was that. Another incident where she found herself staying quiet.

-0-

She clung to him as white hot fire spread up her side, the acid devouring her internals too fast for even Ratchet to heal. The medic looked pained as he turned to the Prime cradling her. They knew it was too late.

"Doesn't hurt." She lied to them both, squeezing Optimus' hand tight. Her optics were fading, flickering as her spark tried vainly to keep her going. At least she passed knowing she'd saved Optimus from a painful death, at least she'd pass lying in his arms. Ironic, the one thing she'd longed for and only in her final moments did she get to experience it.

"Hold on Arcee." Optimus squeezed her hand back, holding her against him as though it would save her. But there was some things Primes just couldn't do.

She flinched as she felt the acid bite into her spark chamber, biting back a gasp of pain. "Y'know," she struggled to speak, just wanting to tell him, tell him before she passed on and left him behind. "I think…I was a little bit in love with you, Optimus Pr…"

Darkness claimed her swiftly, bringing an end to the agony at last.