AN: This is my very first slash story, so it may not be very good. It's very fluffy, very OC and there are some vulgar bits that may be hurtful to some people. I know it took me forever just to make myself write them, and they aren't even the worst. Also, I would like to point out that I am in no way Homophobic. I am all for same sex couples, and I'm sorry if some of this is offensive. Please, no flames, though. If you don't like, there happens to be such a thing called a 'close' button.

Disclaimer: I assure you, if this were mine I wouldn't have to be here writing fan fiction about it.

Warning: Slash, Tony/Gibbs pairing. Nothing lemony, just fluff. Some bits may be offensive.

Chapter 1

Warm lips caressed his face, making a burning trail to his own lips. A callused hand carded through his hair, another behind his neck. He felt the lips move to his jaw line, breath tickling his skin. Before a sigh could escape, his lips were captured again. The kiss was sweet and passionate, but it ended far too soon for him. As his eyes focused on the face in front of him, he gasped out a name.

"…"

~o0o~

Tony awoke to the ringing of his cell phone, groaning as he tried to recall the dream as it slipped away. He'd been having ones similar for years, but he never seemed to be able to see who it was that was with him. He had a feeling he knew, of course, but he tried not to think about it, knowing that it wasn't possible.

"I'm up." He said to his empty apartment as his phone trilled again. He scrubbed a hand over his face as his other hand reached for the phone.

"DiNozzo."

"Why didn't you answer your phone the first time I called?" The voice at the other end demanded, gruff and curious. Tony glance at the clock on his bedside table, before sighing and turning his attention back to the phone held to his ear.

"Well you know Boss, it is 0320, and I was kind of sleeping." He heard a soft chuckle, so quiet he couldn't be sure if it had actually happened.

"Yeah, well, you're awake now. We got a case." Gibbs gave him the address and then hung up after a customary, "Gear up."

"Yeah, sure." Tony said to the dial tone as he rolled his eyes. Shutting the phone he scrubbed another hand over his face, rolling himself out of bed. He sat with his head in his hands, trying to remember the dream. A gruff voice was added, whispering his name, and as the face pulled back, piercing blue eyes looked down at him. A smile started to tug at his lips, a small laugh that was more of a sob escaping. He pushed the heels of his hand into his eyes, trying to get the images out.

Stop it, he thought. Shaking his head, he got up and got ready for a new case, and more lies.

~o0o~

He arrived at the crime scene, sighing when he saw that everyone else was already there working. Great. Just great.

"Late night, Tony?" Ziva asked him as she continued to take pictures, barely glancing at him as he walked over to the team.

"Well you know me." He said, wiggling his eyebrows , hating himself for the look he knew he had on his face; smug.

"Sadly, yes." McGee chimed in, glad for a reason to tease Tony. He looked at Ziva and they shared a smile as Tony moved away, trying to keep his mask up. Why is this so hard all of a sudden? He tried to clear his head again, closing his eyes for a moment. He opened them so see piercing blue eyes, and for a moment he was back in his dream.

"You okay, DiNozzo?" Gibbs looked his face over, trying to see any sign of something being wrong with his Senior Field Agent. He watched as Tony shook his head slightly, blinking a few times before smiling widely.

"Fine, Boss," …and so it begins. Tony thought. Lying already and the sun isn't even up.

~o0o~

Back in the bullpen, Tony, Ziva, and McGee were at their desks, working on their reports. Ducky had ruled it a suicide at the scene, and confirmed it after getting everything back to NCIS. The evidence pointed to the same conclusion.

"Did she keep you up late, Tony?" McGee asked as Tony tried to cover up yet another yawn behind his hand. Well something did. Tony thought, refusing to answer McGee's question. He continued with his work, trying to act like he wasn't noticing the looks from his team, or the comments about his sex life. Gibbs came back into the bullpen, coffee in one hand, Caf-Pow in the other.

"We're working cold case for the rest of the day." He told them, glancing around to see if anything was amiss. His gut was churning, but everything seemed to be normal enough, despite the bags under Tony's eyes. Judging by the conversation between Ziva and McGee, they had ideas about why he looked so tired. Gibbs' gut said otherwise, but he left it alone for now.

"Going to see Abby." He said as he left. As the elevator doors closed, he heard Ziva speak again.

"So, Tony, what is her name?" She asked him with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow, glancing at McGee as he lifted his head to watch, a smirk on his own face. Tony sighed minimally, knowing that his team couldn't see it. He fixed his mask back on, and looked up, a smile on his own face.

"Why so interested Zeevah? Jealous?"

"No, I am just wondering if she is sane. Knowing her name would only make it easier to get in touch with her to ask." Her smile widened as she finished, looking back down at her work and missing the slump of Tony's shoulders.

"Yeah well, wait for me to make one up for you first." He said, immediately wishing that he hadn't, but knowing that they had heard him.

"Make one up?" McGee asked him, confusion written all over his face. Tony sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Well yeah, McGee, because I was alone last night." He looked around at the two of them and then looked back down at his work. "Glad we had this chat." He continued typing, hoping that they would forget all about it.

"Well you said-"

"Actually I didn't. You both just assumed that because I was tired and late, that obviously a womanizing man like me was with someone. Though after all the times that you complain when I talk about my private life, I would think that you wouldn't pry when I don't talk about it." Ziva and McGee looked at each other questioningly before looking back at Tony.

"We are sorry. We did not mean to make you angry. We were simply trying to cheer you up." Ziva said, looking like she had just kicked a puppy.

"Yeah Tony, we just thought you needed cheering up, that's all." McGee said honestly. Tony looked at the two of them and then smiled sadly.

"Thanks." He smiled at them and then turned back to his work once again. "Sorry about that. I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all." The dream started playing in his head again and he had to resist the urge to shake his head again. Stop it, he told himself, hoping this time his imagination would listen to him.

It didn't.

~o0o~

What used to feel like a normal building to work in now seemed like it was pressing in on him. Tony felt his chest tighten as he walked to the men's room, tears trying to fall down his cheeks. As soon as he got to the washroom he made sure he was alone and then locked the door.

"What is wrong with you today." He said to himself, trying to stop the tears pricking at his eyes. He scrubbed his face and shook his head, trying to clear everything out of it, but nothing seemed to work. He groaned and began to pace the small room.

"You've been fine for your whole life and now you feel like telling your friends. Why ? They'd laugh at you. Ziva would think you were crazy, McGee would probably never want to be near you again. Gibbs…Gibbs would probably fire you on the spot." He clenched his fists and held them to either side of his head, applying pressure, hoping pain would make it go away. Stop, stop, stop, stop. He continued to pace as he kept up his silent mantra. He breathed deeply through his nose and mouth, feeling himself begin to calm down. Hoping that it would last he lowered his arms and shook himself, loosening his tense muscles.

"Okay. Get it together, DiNozzo." He unlocked the door and walked out, but before he could make it very far he slammed into someone else.

"Sorry, Tony. I wasn't paying attention." Dan from HR said as he picked up the files that had fallen from the stack he was carrying. "Hey, I've been meaning to tell you, my cousin wants to know if you'll have drinks with her. You remember her, the one who was there when we went to the game? Well she said she had a great time and wants to know if you're single. Which, I mean, is a stupid question, because it's you…" He continued to chatter, not noticing that Tony's calming moment in the bathroom was beginning to wear off. The only things that Tony heard as Dan continued to prattle on were the comments about womanizing, commitment issues, and that the fact that she was a woman should be reason enough for him to want to go.

"I can't." He said suddenly, startling Dan out of his speech. He looked at Tony for a second and then laughed.

"Yeah, sure. That's funny, Tony. Anyways…" He continued, and Tony was really starting to hope that this was a dream as he felt the words start to bubble in his gut, churning his stomach until he almost felt sick.

"No, I'm serious, I really can't." Dan laughed again and continued as though Tony was still joking around. LEAVE! He screamed at himself, willing his feet to move. Just leave, don't say anything…

"I'm gay!" He yelled.

…stupid.

He closed his eyes and started to leave, ignoring Dan's stare and the sudden silence. Realising that he had yelled, trying to be heard over Dan, he noticed that everyone on the floor was looking his way. Ziva and McGee looked like they were about to feint, while everyone else was stunned. It was like a heard of deer standing in the middle of a highway. He cursed and ranted to himself as he put his head down and turned, only to run solidly into…

"Gibbs."

Shit.