by SDM (gordon8_26@yahoo.com)
Note: A one-shot set in Season 7. Buffy has an encounter with "God". It's just a short little vignette that ties up the questions that were left in the open that I felt should've been answered. Undertones of lots of pairings, from B/A, B/S, B/R, B/X, X/A, X/C, A/C, W/X, W/O, and W/T. Review? Please? Disclaimers apply, Joss owns the characters.
Buffy Summers' eyes snapped wide awake, as she gazed around at her surroundings. No longer in her comfy bed, she was in a room a white. Literally, a room of white. she thought to herself, standing up from her resting position. Wait? How could I stand up if I wasn't sitting on anything? It was a field of white that seemed to stretch on for eons. Turning around slowly to look for some aspect of color, Buffy became more and more worried. Just white. Nothing more.
"You won't find anything there, you know." Buffy spun around and saw a man dressed in a white robe, walking towards her. The man was wearing shoes, and they tapped along the floor of nothingness as Buffy tried to place the person. "You don't know who I am, so it's no use wondering."
"How did you know I was thinking that?" Buffy asked, her voice a low whisper, apprehensive of the figure in front of her.
"Why wouldn't I? I'm God. Well, as close to God as you could get." God said, the corners of his face lighting up in a wide smile. "Surprise! Well, you're probably wondering why you're here. The reason is....you've done a lot for us over the years, Buffy. Stopping several armageddons...detaining Glory...battling the First, the list goes on and on. So long is the list that the powers that be have decided to give you a chance to ask questions. Anything you want to know that we know, we'll tell you. Before you ask, we don't know how to defeat the First. He's somewhat the 'Satan' interpretation, so we can't touch him. Now, shall we begin?" Buffy stared at God, as he clapped his hands. Buffy found herself sitting at a table, with God in front of her, his hands placed down on the tabletop. "Ask away." Buffy was thoroughly confused, but decided to start.
"Why am I here?"
"Payment for all the good you've done."
"Where am I?"
"Dream-state. You're asleep right now."
"What are three bands that I know Spike likes?"
"The Clash, The Ramones, and The Sex Pistols."
"How do I know that?"
"Spike complains about the transmitter in his back playing 'Rock the Casbah', just to get it out. He asked you if you like The Ramones, and Harmony was tossing out a Sex Pistols CD of his."
"Who have I had relations with?"
"Angel, Parker, Riley, and Spike. In that order."
"Where is Angel?"
"Angelus. He's in L.A, battling their version of the Scoobies."
"Who would be...?"
"Wes, Gunn, Fred, Cordelia, Lorne, Connor, and Faith."
"FAITH!?"
"Wes broke her out of jail to contain Angelus."
"How's Wes?"
"Surprisingly badass, considering who he used to be.
"How's Cordy?"
"She's evil. Long story."
"Indeed. How's Angel?"
"Still loves you. Always will, until the end of time. He actually called last night, ask Dawn about it."
"That creep...where's Riley?"
"In Mexico."
"With his wife?"
"Who else?"
"Did he love me?"
"What?"
"Did he love me?"
"Riley loved you more than anything in the world, more than life itself. He would've died for you a thousand times. When you two split...he couldn't live with the pain for weeks. Even thought he's married, he still loves you. Like Angel, he always will."
"..."
"Well?"
"What's the square root of sixty-four?"
"Eight. Didn't have to be God to answer that."
"Does Spike love me?"
"Yep. You know the 'always' routine by now."
"What about Drusilla?"
"She loves him, as much as two vampires can love. She hates the new Slayer-orientated Spike though."
"Who do I belong with?"
"Well, the boys at work have put bets on it. Out of twelve powers that be, five say Angel, three say Spike, four say Riley, and three say Xander."
"Xander!?"
"Yeah. He loved you, at one point. Well, call it a horny sixteen year old's crush, whatever you will."
"But really....Xander?"
"Alternate timeline shows that if you had accepted Xander's date six years ago, you'd be happily married with two kids in Chicago. Your best friend Willow Osbourne would live close by, with her husband, Daniel Osbourne. Your mother would be alive, Giles would visit periodically, and there would be no Angel, Spike, Faith, Drusilla, Dawn, Riley, Glory, Tara, Kendra, you name it. Just a happy life."
"...is Xander happy?"
"No. He still loves Anya very much, although the two won't admit it. They really should be together...shame about that whole veangeance demon angle."
"What about Cordelia?"
"Ah! That's the other timeline, if they hadn't broken up. You'd still be together with Angel, and Willow with Oz. No Tara though...bit of a drag for Willow."
"About Cordelia...I know about the whole evil shtick, but who is she with?"
"Angel. Well, Angel's son."
"CORDELIA WITH ANGEL!? ANGEL HAS A SON!? Since when!?"
"Angel had a son with human Darla last year. Cordelia had sex with him a few weeks ago. Little Connor grew up in a hell dimension, so he's a teen already. Angel and Cordelia...sort of touchy, now that Cordelia got it on with his son. Angel wants to be with her on some level, but then we get back to the whole Buffy slash Angy shippiness theme."
"Jesus..."
"He's doing quite well actually."
"What? Oh, never mind. Where's Oz?"
"Tibet."
"Does he love Willow?"
"See Angel, replace Buffy with Willow."
"Wow. What about Willow? Why'd she turn gay?"
"Xander was with Anya, and Oz was gone. I think Vampire Willow convinced her to swing a little that way."
"Wait...Willow turned gay because Xander wasn't available?"
"Friends love each other, Buffy. They always do, and always will."
"...right. How's Tara doing?"
"She's great, actually. Hates Kennedy though. From what I've seen, that makes three of us?"
"Four, actually. Five, if you count Spike. Xander hates her too."
"Yeah, none of the powers like her either."
"So...who will die in the final battle?"
"What? Oh...figures. Can't tell yet. Future is too foggy as of now."
"Boxers or briefs?"
"Us heavenly beings don't have genitalia, so we don't need underwear of any kind."
"Ouch. I saw Dogma...a pain, eh?"
"Yeah. Speaking of which...it's time to go back now. Goodbye, Buffy."
"No!"
With a startle, Buffy snapped wide away, as she looked around her. It was her room, as she was in her big comfy bed. Sighing, she fell back onto her pillow, staring at the ceiling. That was weird.
Yeah. Read and review. My first Buffy fic.