Alone in the Mist
By Jackie Almasy
Hawke didn't know how long she had been standing there listening to the horrible cries of death around her. The large stone walls of Kirkwall surrounding her were aflame, the fires licking up high towards the sky. Thousands of screams and sobs grew in volume around the battles and bloody chaos. The Champion walked slowly through the streets as she was unsure of where in the city she was.
Her black hair clung to her sweaty skin. Stained with specks of blood from numerous templars, mages, and abominations alike, Hawke wasn't sure whose blood stuck to her hands, face, and armor. The charred aroma of smoke stuck to her clothes and hair, adding to the matted feel of her dirty body. Amidst the destruction and death, Hawke's blue eyes strained to look around.
The high pitched cry of a young child caught her attention. Far below her on the steps of Kirkwall's docks, two dead bodies half dangled in the cold water. The stain of their blood soaked the bottom steps and the lapping waters. Hawke's breath caught in her lungs as she gasped heavily. Collapsed onto her knees, a young child of no more than three wailed heavily before the bodies.
Her small plain dress of leather and cloth was stained from head to toe with blood. Her tiny hands wiped erratically at her face and chin, trying to push away the tears and blood that mixed together. Hawke felt her stomach tighten into a knot of pain and horror as she began moving towards the small child. The clinking of her armor seemed to be drowned out by the increasing volume of the upset child.
Kneeling down behind her, Hawke tenderly placed a hand on the child's head. She barely recognized her own voice as it shuddered under the horror of the sight before her.
"Come now little one. We need to get you to a safer place. There is nothing you can do for them now."
The little girl seemed to barely acknowledge the presence of the Champion before her. Crying even harder at the words from Hawke, she suddenly stood and raised her arms against the woman warrior. Beating her arms as hard as she could against Hawke's stomach, the young girl threw her entire weight into her attack.
"This is all your fault! All of it!"
The Champion looked down sadly at the young girl, not feeling anything from the child's attack through her armor. Hawke did nothing to stop the girl from unleashing her anger on her and merely remained quiet until the punches, cries of anger, and pummels stopped.
"They're dead because of you! DEAD! Why didn't you save them? Why couldn't you?"
As the child raised her head, Hawke recoiled in shock as the sight of the child before her. The image of herself as a child stared up defiantly at her face, the streaks of her tears apparent in the blood smears. The same black hair in tiny pigtails, cold blue eyes, and slightly chubby cheeks all flashed back from her memories.
The child standing before the Champion was a living replica of herself from youth. Shaking her head in disbelief, Hawke turned her attention to the bodies of the two individuals. The faces and bodies had changed. Before her laid the dead corpses of her mother and brother. Leandra's body was dressed in the white gown she died in, the red specks of blood staining the lace material and veil. The horrific scars on her neck stood out as the flesh around the surgical cut had been sewn together. Her blank and empty stare bore right into the eyes of the Champion.
"N-No…" Hawke stumbled back a step or two as she looked from the child to her mother in horror. The body of her brother was barely held together with the evidence of the Ogre's attack. His chest showed multiple lacerations and bruises with gaping holes in the flesh dangling open. Bits and pieces of his flesh appeared to have fallen off near the drop site of the body. His face was as colorless as Leandra's. Carver's once rebellious and determined gaze was empty, as gray and empty as the Void itself.
The whisper came suddenly, drowning out the sounds of battle and death around Hawke.
"Marian, how could you?"
The voice was barely audible at first. As it grew in volume, Hawke staggered back a few more steps.
Carver's harsh tone hit her right ear first as it sent chills of horror down Hawke's back.
"You left me to die little sister." A cold chuckle echoed all around her. The cackle seemed to surround Hawke's entire being. The tone suddenly grew soft and pained as Leandra's voice whispered into the warrior's left ear.
"Why darling? Why did you let that man take me?" A sob echoed deep within Hawke's mind filling her heart with betrayal. "He hurt me so! I can still feel the knife cutting into my flesh…"
Hawke shook her head violently as she took a few steps back, barely managing to stay on her feet. Her armored hands clutched her ears, digging into the delicate skin of her face and ears. She could feel blood dripping from the raw cuts.
"Stop! Stop it! This isn't real!" Hawke looked back at the sight again, staring at the mental image of her childhood form. "You're not real!"
Her pupils constricted in horror as she witnessed the bodies of her mother and brother stagger to life. Pushing themselves upright, Leandra's body staggered foreword one leg at a time. Carver's empty vessel lurched foreword as his upper chest barely managed to stay on. The sound of his flesh slopping around made her stomach lurch. The cracking of his ribs and backbone soon followed.
"We are as real as you." Their voices joined together, creating a whole new atmosphere of dread and malice. The combined cackles grew in volume, seeming to spin faster and faster around Hawke's form and ears. "You made us this way."
"Why are you doing this to me?" Hawke looked up, tears slipping down her pale cheeks. "I fought to protect you, to save you! I loved you both!"
In unison, the eyes of the child, Carver, and Leandra flared red. The same haunting red of Knight Commander Meredith's eyes during the battle for Kirkwall.
"We fell because of you!"
Hawke's gasped heavily as she awoke from her nightmares. Panting heavily, she sat upright quickly and places both her head in her hands. Closing her eyes to steady her vision, the warrior focused on calming her breathing and pounding heartbeat echoing in her head.
She whispered over and over to quietly to herself, trying to calm the feeling of panic at in the pit of her gut. "It's just a dream. Just a dream. Nothing more. Just a dream."
Pushing her hair away from her eyes and face, Hawke looked around at the sight before her. The soft tweeting of birds echoed within the misty forest surrounding her. The sun had barely risen over the mountains yet. Tall trees surrounded the tiny campsite, their thick trunks showing the plants to be hundred of years old. Vines and large patches of green moss clung to the trunks as tiny droplets of dew sparkled in the morning sunlight.
Hawke looked to the side. Her armor lay no more than a few feet from her with her sword and shield polished from the night before. Her small sleeping bed was no more than a rolled up blanket as a pillow with a thin sheet to cover her from the night cold and rain. The thin line of smoke rose from the fireplace as small red embers crackled with life.
Her breathing now calmed and collected, Hawke brought her forehead to her knees. They were safe for now. Her group had been on the run for weeks now. Trying to get as much distance between Kirkwall and her friends, Hawke had led them west and into the dangerous territories of the Wounded Coast and forbidden forests. Tales and whispers of untold monsters from travelers all over bars of Thedas had forewarned her not to enter them. However, not much option had been left.
One by one in the following weeks after the Siege on Kirkwall, her friends had gone their separate ways. For reasons of safety and fewer numbers, the group had split into two small groups and head in opposite directions. More and more situations arose causing the band to keep separating until only Fenris and herself remained.
Turning her attention to the right, Hawke only saw the empty bedroll beside her. She looked around curiously as she could not find Fenris's sword or item sack. It was only until she looked down that she saw what had been his blanket covering her as well. His pillow was no more than a few feet from where she had been sleeping.
Hawke brought her hand to his pillow. Still able to feel some heat coming from the thin fabric, she lifted her gaze to the think mist surrounding the campsite.
"He must have gone hunting." Hawke whispered to herself as she looked around trying to see if she could catch sight of his form.
Pushing the blankets aside, Hawke groaned in disgust as she looked at her thin undershirt and pants. Soaked from the sweat of her nightmare, the cloth was stained heavily and clung to her skin. Wiping her hand along her legs, Hawke sighed heavily.
"Wonderful. I might as well wash them while I can. I know we passed a lake not too far from here."
Listening as carefully as she could, Hawke was rewarded with the soft and steady rhythm of a nearby large stream. Remembering nearly falling into it the night before, Hawke walked carefully through the woods. The mist seemed to thicken and thin in some places, adding to her worry that she was heading in the wrong direction.
Suddenly, the sound of birds flying away caught her attention. Turning her gaze in the direction of the disturbance, the smell of clean water and gentle clicking of bugs seemed to grow in volume not more than a few feet from her. Pushing her way through the thick bushes and carefully going around large tree trunks, Hawke hopped over a large root to see the vast sight of a wide lake before her.
The rising sun's pink and orange rays pushed through the thinning mist, seeming to dance across the undisturbed surface of the water. Large leaf pads decorated the shores just off of the sides. Taking a step foreword onto the small muddy sides of the lake, Hawke turned her gaze to the right just in time to see a tall Halla step out of the forest. Remaining perfectly still, Hawke watched the magnificent creature lower its head gracefully to the still waters below it. With only one ripple caused in its wake of drinking the water, the Halla's remained still as it took it's time.
Shifting her weight to her right foot, Hawke gasped in shock as she stepped on a branch and snapped it in half. The sound seemed to spread across the still lake like a shockwave. Raising its head suddenly, the Halla stared at the direction of Hawke. Shifting back and forth on its hooves nervously, Hawke watched as the animal twitched its ears before taking off back into the forest.
Not long after, Hawke shuddered as she finished setting the last of her clothing off to the side. Her naked body turned to the lake, beginning to wade out into cool waters. Shaking slightly, Hawke raised her arms to cross her chest as she felt the water reach to just covering her breasts. Leaning foreword, Hawke took in a deep breath and dunked herself into the cold water.
The shock of the cold sent a chill throughout her entire body and she relished in the feel of it. It was a reaffirmation she was alive and well. The simplest things in life seemed even more precious to her now since the loss of her estate and life in Kirkwall. Rising quickly to the entrance, Hawke gasped for air as she pushed her hair away from her face and rubbed her eyes.
The snapping of another twig caught her attention, gasping as she narrowed her eyes dangerously in the direction of the sound. Ducking beneath the surface of the water enough to cover her breasts, Hawke called out.
"Who's there? Show yourself!"
From the darkness of the forest, Fenris walked around the trunk of one of the tall trees. Sighing in relief, Hawke sank into the water enough to only show her shoulders and up. Blushing slightly, Hawke did her best to hide her fluster.
"Wait, why am I so embarrassed? It's not like he hasn't seen me naked before." Smiling a small smile in his direction, Hawke tilted her head in curiosity.
"You were gone this morning when I awoke."
Stepping foreword, Hawke was amazed to hear barely any noise from his footsteps through the forest. Fenris walked to the side of the lake stopping as he cast a glance to her folded set of washed clothes on the grass.
"Yes. We were out of meat so I went hunting. However, you were not there when I returned." Fenris moved to the side, his gaze surprisingly tender. "I was concerned."
"I…" Hawke cast her troubled gaze down to the water, unable to shake the haunting images of her nightmare from her mind. "I had a troubling dream. It's okay though. I just came to bathe and cleanse myself."
"Hawke, this is the third night in a row that your dreams have troubled you." Fenris raised his hand to the red scarf tied around his wrist. Delicately untying it, he lowered it down to the ground. "What images haunt you?"
Closing her eyes tightly, Hawke shuddered at the question asked to her. She didn't want to remember the faces, whispers, or looks. The sight of the blood had been almost too vivid in her dreams. Had she been able to sleep more she probably would have been able to smell the coppery aroma of it as well.
"It's…It's nothing Fenris. Do not trouble yourself over this. I will not be long."
The clinking of armor caught her attention as she turned and looked over her shoulder. Unable to stop the small blush from creeping over her cheeks, she silently watched as Fenris stood before her half naked.
His gauntlets lay in the grass by her clothes, alongside his tunic and belt. Her eyes followed the intricate designs of the lyrium scars along his wrists and arms. They looped around his muscular and lean form, etching pictures of power into his very skin. Her eyes fell to his toned chest but were soon drawn to the clinking of him unhooking his belt buckle holding up his armor.
Turning her face around, Hawke silently cursed herself as she raised her red face to the sky. The sun had risen more now, casting the dark blue color of the night away. Dawn was here at last.
"Since when did you become a chaste woman Hawke? You've seen that gorgeous naked body before."
"For a woman as smart as you are, sometimes your lack of knowledge in the obvious is worrisome." Hawke's eyes searched the water before her as she could hear him wading through the water towards her. His tone was neither kind nor hurtful but merely observant. He always had a way to read her body language. Sometimes she loved that aspect of him while other times she hated him for it.
Underneath the water, Hawke felt Fenris's strong arms wrap around her form. Pulling her back against his naked chest, Fenris brought his head down into the curve of her neck. Hawke shuddered in his arms, allowing her arms to let go of her chest and slip down under the water. Placing her hands gently onto his arms, she couldn't help but feel her breath shake a little at the feel of him twitching against her.
"I know when something troubles you Hawke. I can see it in your stature, the way you walk, and more."
Hawke gasped felt his lips along her neck. Unable to suppress her moan of surprise at the feel of his tongue and occasional biting, her body began trembling against his own. Easily leaving a mark on her neck, Fenris pulled away long enough to look at the bruise. Kissing her skin a few more times, Fenris whispered with a husky tone into her ear.
"How long did you think I could watch your beautiful body and not act upon my feelings?" Raising one of his hands from her stomach, Fenris felt his body tremble in anticipation as he cupped one of her breasts. Her gasp of pleasure nearly drove him over the edge, his own labored breathing becoming apparent to her.
His hand gripped and rubbed the breast, his fingers suddenly pinching her already erect nipple. Hawke cried out against him, writhing in pleasure against him as she leaned back almost completely into his chest. Her hand suddenly rose, gripping the wrist of his hand holding her breasts.
"Fenris! M-Maker Above! I…I can't…" Her sentence was drawn out, cut off at multiple parts as he increased his fervor. Bringing both hands up, he cupped, stroked, and rubbed her breasts with equal passion and sexual tension. Witnessing her like this in front of him sparked a level of dominance he hadn't quite felt before.
He bit the top of her ear affectionately, running his tongue along the edges of it. "You're what Hawke?" His hot breath ticked her skin, his pant increasing in volume slightly.
"Tell me!"
"I can't t-think! This feels so good!" Hawke startled herself somewhat with the confession from her lips. Suddenly feeling the urge to challenge his control, Hawke pushed away his grip from her breasts and turned in his grasp. Bringing her lips to his, Hawke wasted no time in making the kisses deep, passionate, and hard. In the weeks since their escape from Kirkwall, privacy had not been possible between running, hiding, and hunting for information.
Now that they were alone, Fenris could no longer hold back the years of pent up emotion. The night of their first time together came soaring back, only adding to the fuel of their passion. Securing his arms around her, Fenris lifted her up against his form. Biting her lips dominantly, Fenris began a trail of kisses from her jaw, to her chin, and then the neglected side of her neck.
Leading them back to the shore, Fenris laid Hawke's body onto the ground as his hands began seeking out the body he had not seen in over three years. Her whimpers and moans urged him on with his explorations and experimentations. He felt her body snap up in sheer pleasure as his lips find the taunt tips of her breasts. Taking the cold nub into his warm mouth, Fenris closed his eyes in the revel of hearing her reactions.
Hawke couldn't think straight. The sudden pleasure shooting her body was almost foreign to her. It had been three long years since her last sexual encounter with Fenris but her body responded to it as if it had happened just yesterday. His rough hand gripped and massaged, sometimes making the touches rough while others were tender. Fenris opened his eyes halfway, feeling his body shiver in such ecstasy he didn't know how much more he could stand.
Bringing one hand to her cheek, Fenris captured her lips once more in his own. Sealing off the cries of the woman before his, he slowly ran his palm down her chest, in-between her breasts, and along her stomach. Rubbing small circle along the insides of her thigh, Fenris pulled his lips away to whisper heatedly into her ear.
"Hawke, I have missed this." Fenris could feel a bead of sweat drip down his face, unable to stop himself from biting her already sore neck already. Kissing his way down to her collarbone, his hand slowly found its way to the apex of her legs. "I have missed you."
"W-What are you?" Hawke's passionate whimpers suddenly became a loud cry as she felt his fingers touch her entrance. Her body jerked and writhed beneath his, her mouth panting at such a furious rate that she was convince she would suffer a sweet death sometime soon. Her eyes were drawn open as she felt Fenris's forehead touch her own. A flush of red washed over her face as his thumb found her clitoris, beginning to rub the pad of his thumb against it in circles fast enough to drive her insane.
"Fenris!" She cried out his name like it was the last words she was ever going to say. Reaching her hands up, Hawke clutched his shoulders tightly. Raking her nails down his skin and along his lyrium markings, Fenris gave a groan she hadn't heard from him in ages. His fingers sped up with their stroking and caressing, driving her closer and closer to sweet oblivion.
Her hips trembled heavily, jerking up into his hands and urging on their pleasure. Responding to her demands, Fenris increased the speed of his fingers before bringing his lips to hers. Roughly and passionately kissing her, Fenris heard her breathing increase speed and power.
Breaking their kiss apart, Hawke trembled more and more underneath him. "So close, so close! Don't stop! Fenris, please!"
She rode out her climax louder than she intended to. She had no idea of the volume of her crying out or how much she trembled in his grasp. The only part of her climax that she could recognize was the erratic heartbeat within her chest. Coming down from her high, Hawke groaned as she felt Fenris settle himself between her legs. Lifting either leg onto the sides of his hips, Hawke brought a hand to his face.
Running her fingertips along his cheek and lips, Fenris placed his hands on both sides of her hips as he leans down and hungrily captured her lips again.
"I can't promise this won't hurt Hawke…"
Shaking her head, Hawke ran a hand through his white hair. She could smell the mixture of sweat, water, and earth from his skin. The scent of him was intoxicating, filling her senses and thoughts with only him.
"I know." Her whisper was gentle, giving him a tender and soft kiss. "But I want this. I need this. Please, I want you inside me."
That was all the verification Fenris needed. Bringing Hawke to him, they both groaned loudly at the feel of him entering her. Fenris paid strict attention to the reaction of her body. Trembling heavily above her, Fenris pushed in inch by inch until their hips met.
"Oh! Fenris!" Her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, Hawke moaned as he shifted his hips back and forth cautiously. Burying her face into his neck, she urged him on with her own motions of experimentation. Groaning heavily, Fenris dug his fingers into the ground as he suddenly began a fast and unrelenting rhythm.
"M-Marian!" Their bodies slid against each other, adding friction to the increasing repetition. It didn't take long for Hawke to reach her peak. She felt the sweet release creep up on her in waves before finally dragging her into the undertow of ecstasy. She cried out his name loudly as she felt her body clench down on his shaft, drawing him further into her body.
Opening her eyes, Hawke watched in wonder at Fenris's face. The normal calm demeanor was gone, allowing him the momentary release to show the body numbing pleasure. The normal tempo was gone now. Fenris gripped her hips tightly now, digging his fingers so deeply into her skin that she knew they would bruise later. He was close as he thrust foreword and back erratically.
Sweat drip down his face as Hawke raised her hands to his face. Cradling his face in her hands, Fenris snapped his eyes open in shock at the sign of affection. He felt her fingers caress his lyrium scars along his chin, his lips, and then cheeks. Urging his head down, Fenris allowed himself to follow her lead as he closed his eyes to her surprisingly passionate kisses. Their breathing tempos increased and finally Fenris reached the sweet release he craved.
Surrendering to the violent body tremors and quakes, Fenris collapsed against her body before pushing himself off to lie beside her.
"Fenris…" Her soft whisper reached out to him, beckoning him to open his eyes. Gently pushing some hair strands away from his face, Hawke cupped his cheek before letting her confession slip. "I love you."
Blinking in surprise, Fenris remained silent for a few seconds before smiling kindly at her words. Bringing her form into his, Fenris managed to ignore the tickling of the grass blades along back as he drew her close. Tucking her head into his neck, Fenris held her in his arms until he heard the light breathing pattern of her sleep.
Keeping one arm securely around her, Fenris ran his fingers along her neck before whisperingly lightly enough to not stir her from the much needed sleep.
"And I you, Marian Hawke."
I know, I know. Bad Jackie! I can't write sex scenes for the life of me but I tried!
Inspiration credit for this piece goes to "For You Only" by Trading Yesterday and "Surrender" by Stephanie Casey & Christopher Lennertz.
How'd I do for my first full mature story?
Till next time,
Jackie Almasy
Dragon Age II is copyrighted by BioWare and Electronic Arts. I own nothing.