Disclaimer: Laguna and Squall are like that guy you're oogling in your class - super hot but definitely not mine!
Winner: Judges' Pick, Manifest 2004
Note: The notion of Squall and Laguna being blood related is very much implied in the original game and therefore is often the subject of speculation in much fanfiction. This story, however, is my version of the after-game events that may have taken place concerning these two.
Warnings: Contains spoilers to the original game ending. (...) indicate thoughts (as with the original game). Despite implications this story is NOT shounen-ai.
(Where am I?)
It's the only question that leaps to mind as my eyes scan the barren desert surroundings. There's nothing but an endless plane, reaching to the dusky horizon. I have no choice but to walk in the hopes of finding something… I'm too exhausted to care what. So I walk, step after step, hour after hour, day after day. Each step is harder than the last – I begin to sway uneasily. My boots shuffle mechanically along the dust, sliding to a halt at the ragged edge. I peer into that same endless, swirling mist that stretches across the sky. The horizon has become nothing more than the end of the desert. I glance behind me over the vast wasteland. Still nothing.
It takes my mind a while to realize that I'm trapped in this world, surrounded by nothing but desert and swirling mist. I step back unsteadily, my legs giving way as I slump hopelessly to the ground. Images of the past few weeks race through my mind. Flashes of friends, missions, battles, enemies, all blurred and distorted. The image of her overpowers most of them, finally shattering my thoughts.
(Rinoa!)
A tear skids down my cheek.
(I'm… alone.)
The thought echoes through my mind as everything fades to white.
Squall bolted upright, the sweat spraying off his forehead. In panic, crystal eyes darted to and fro, slowly focusing in the relative darkness. His dorm – nothing more.
(Nothing.)
Slender fingers curled around sturdy upper arms, squeezing so hard his smooth skin grew pallid. Thick, chocolate strands – soaked with sweat – clung to his face as it fell. Folded, embracing himself, Squall shuddered violently, spasm after spasm. Crimson trickled from his lips as he bit down, silencing the cry that sprang from his dry throat. He shut his eyes tightly against the sting of saltwater, the tears skimming down his flushed cheeks. Unconsciously, he slowly began to rock himself as the spasms subsided.
(Why do I keep doing this to myself?)
((Where
am I?))
(…nothing
but an endless plane…)
(…no
choice but to walk in the hopes of finding something…)
(…I'm
trapped in this world…)
((I'm…
alone.))
Swallowing a second cry, Squall hastily fumbled for the light. It flicked on, instantly blinding him. He forced himself to calm, slowed his breathing. Gradually his mind cleared until he was left with only one thought.
(I don't want to be alone.)
Crystal eyes peered aside, focusing on the dormitory wall as though he could see through it.
(Even if Rinoa was here, she's already blaming herself for my nightmares. I look for comfort and she thinks it's her fault, that she can't ever rescue me in time.)
Squall allowed a small sigh to escape his lips.
(Who
else do I go to?)
(Quistis?
She'd want to talk it through with me, get to know her "student"
better.)
(Irvine?
Yeah I remember the last conversation I had with that lovesick
cowboy.)
(Zell?
I think I'd just confuse him – the great Squall isn't supposed
to get upset.)
(Selphie?)
("Aww it's okay, Squall. We all have bad dreams. But then we wake up, the sun is shining and they're all gone!")
Squall lightly slapped his palm to his forehead.
(Not a chance.)
("I'll be here for you, no matter what. If you ever need anything – whatever, whenever – let me know.")
Squall frowned at the sudden memory, unable to accept or completely ignore it. He shook his head firmly, but even as he did so, he was already pulling back the covers and beginning to dress.
(I threw him out of my office, my life. He wouldn't--)
Belting the Gunblade to his waist, Squall glanced up the glowing digits of his clock.
01:00.
03:00 – Esthar time.
(I'm completely insane – or extremely sleep-deprived.)
Despite how much his mind protested his body simply refused to acknowledge. Flicking off the light, he quietly left his dorm and strode down the empty passageways. Squall navigated around Balamb Garden's grand foyer and entered the lift, pushing the level two button.
(I owe him at least the chance to prove himself. Maybe… it'll even work out.)
"Father?"
"Huh?" My head jerks up at the word, my eyes meeting with his cold gaze.
"Is that what I'm supposed to call you now?" His dark tone causes a violent shiver through my body. I'm too frightened to speak past the tightness in my throat. My words come out in strangled groans.
"Uh…I…no-uh…"
Those fierce eyes of crystal ice narrow.
"Get out," he orders in a low voice. I can only nod haphazardly as I stand from my chair and stride hastily to the office doors, ignoring the sudden pang in my leg.
"Laguna." I spin around.
Standing behind his desk, he raises his Gunblade and aims straight at me. Before I can even scream in protest, his finger curls around the trigger. The shot barely sounds before an intense pain explodes in my chest. I tumble to the floor, blood pooling around me.
Everything begins to fade until all I hear is a distant beeping and a voice calling my name.
"Laguna."
Emerald eyes flickered open and slowly focused. A distant glow caused a halo-effect on the frame that stood at the bedside. Laguna smiled at the young woman in the photo.
"Why are you only an angel at this time of night?"
"Laguna!"
He groaned as he sat up, running a hand through his dishevelled, long hair. "What, Kiros!? It's three am, for Hyne's sake!"
On the glowing communication screen, the dark-skinned assistant cocked his head slightly, the beads of his twin dread-locks gently clattering.
"Actually it's 03:30 and you have a visitor."
Laguna looked critically towards his best friend. "You're kidding, right?"
Kiros folded his arms. "An important and impatient visitor, Mister President."
"All right! All right! Quit it with the 'if I can't sleep, neither can you' routine already. I'm getting up!"
Throwing the covers aside, Laguna reached for his silken robe and belted it around his waist before bending down to the screen.
"Tell whoever it is not to expect me any more dressed than this. I'm going to brush my hair and then get something to drink. They can wait in my lounge room. You go back to bed."
The screen's glow shut off as he pushed a large button on the panel below it. Shaking his head, he strode to the en suite bathroom.
Laguna rounded the corner towards his kitchenette.
"Sorry to keep you waiting…"
He froze. Fully dressed in his usual black jacket and slacks, Squall Leonhart stood in the centre of the living room. Emerald eyes were instantly trapped in the ice gaze of crystal. Laguna's heart threatened to burst from his chest, the sound of it in his own ears pulling him from his trance. He broke eye contact and ducked into the kitchenette to escape the intensity of that crystal stare.
"I was…just warming some milk," his nerves caused a waver in his tone. "I don't suppose you'd want something?"
"The same, thanks," a low voice replied.
Laguna complied quietly, carrying the mugs out with his eyes lowered. He almost jumped as gloved fingertips grazed his hand upon retrieving the drink. Instead he nodded and sat in the plush armchair across from the sofa, not daring to raise his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Squall broke the silence between them.
"No, no. I did say anytime…"
"For throwing you out when you came to tell me the truth."
His hand shaking, Laguna passed the large envelope over the office desk. He fell into the chair as the slightly crumpled document was pulled from his pallid fingers. Frowning, Squall fished for the contents and slid the papers out of the envelope. Crystal eyes skimmed over the printed message.
(Test
results. Statistics.)
(What
the…?)
In disbelief he re-read it more thoroughly.
("Issue of Paternity. Confidential. Laguna Loire and Squall Leonhart. After several conclusive tests the probability of Laguna Loire being the parent in blood of Squall Leonhart is 99.94…")
It was dated two weeks prior.
The paper dropped from Squall's hands. His eyes lost focus, the statement becoming a blur of black ink before him.
Laguna sighed.
"How were you supposed to react?" he asked rhetorically, his tone softening.
"Father?"
"Huh?" Laguna's head jerked up at the word, his eyes meeting with a cold gaze.
"Is that what I'm supposed to call you now?" His dark tone caused a violent shiver through Laguna's body. He was too frightened to speak past the tightness in his throat. His words came out in strangled groans.
"Uh… I… no-uh…"
Those fierce eyes of crystal ice narrowed.
"Get out," Squall ordered in a low voice. Laguna nodded haphazardly as he stood from his chair and strode hastily to the office doors, ignoring the sudden pang in his leg. Gripping the golden knob, he gathered his courage, paused and spoke without turning.
"I'll be here for you, no matter what. If you ever need anything – whatever, whenever – let me know."
"I said 'get out'!"
With an undignified yelp, Laguna threw himself out of the office.
Squall shook his head slightly, his eyes falling to the mug cradled in his hands. Emerald eyes glanced up.
"Don't worry – it was two weeks ago." Laguna flashed a polite grin and threw a hand up behind to scratch his head. "Actually I'm kinda surprised to see you. Why would you come back to see this goofy moron, anyway? Business?"
"I've been having nightmares every night since I came back."
Laguna's face fell, his expression suddenly filled with concern at Squall's distant tone.
"About what happened after we defeated Ultimecia. About being left to die on that stupid desert world. About…being alone."
Crystal eyes looked up suddenly, the cold gaze Laguna was used to replaced with desperation. He couldn't withhold a small gasp as those eyes met his.
"Is it true that young children crawl into their parents' beds when they can't sleep? Does it even work?"
Too shocked by Squall's words, Laguna could only gaze silently at him. Squall blushed furiously, muttering an apology as he stood and turned away.
"I should probably fly the Ragnarok back to Balamb Garden before the whole town of FH is awakened by the fuss my friends will make."
A warm hand grabbed Squall's wrist and pulled him back. Before he could protest, he was enfolded in Laguna's arms.
"La…Laguna?" Squall tensed slightly.
"You can stay with me if that's what you're asking."
Silence. He felt Squall relax into their embrace, his arms wrapping loosely around Laguna's waist.
"Thanks," the word mumbled against Laguna's neck. A smile spread over Laguna's features as he gently pulled Squall back to look into his eyes.
"No, thanks for giving me a chance. Now let's get some sleep."
Releasing Squall, Laguna gathered the mugs and dropped them in the sink, before dimming the living room lights. Taking Squall's hand, he led him to the master bedroom.
Laguna patted the space beside him as he held up the covers. Standing in singlet and boxers, Squall frowned with uncertainty. Laguna simply continued to smile up at him.
"Tell anyone about this and I'll put a bullet through your chest."
Laguna raised an eyebrow, briefly tilting his head to the dark monitor atop his desk. "Kiros has full access to my communication screen. What am I supposed to tell him?"
Crystal eyes glanced towards the monitor. Without a second thought, Squall turned it around. Laguna couldn't withhold a soft chuckle as Squall returned. He paused at the bedside, suddenly catching sight of the framed photo.
"Raine."
"Your mother. I think she would've been really proud of you."
"Do you miss her?"
"Every night, but I know she's happy where she rests. I'll have to take you to see her."
Nodding, Squall carefully lowered himself into the bed, settling as the covers were dropped over him. Crystal eyes met emerald, Laguna affectionately stroking aside stray chocolate strands. His hand settled on Squall's shoulder.
"I know this is pretty fast so if I do anything you don't like…"
"Hold me."
Laguna paused to contain his surprise.
"You sure?"
"I'll never know unless you do."
Gently, Laguna reached forward and enfolded Squall in his arms. Tensing only at first, Squall quickly softened into the embrace.
"My beautiful son," Laguna cooed as he ran his fingers through Squall's hair.
"That I don't like."
"What? The 'my son' thing or the hair thing."
"Both."
"Why not?"
"Laguna."
Despite the warning tone, Laguna couldn't help himself. "I'll let you call me 'father'?"
"Don't push it."
Laguna's chuckle turned into a tired yawn. Overwhelmed with relief and happiness, Laguna smiled contently. As he held Squall in his arms, emerald eyes fluttered closed.
Warm and secure in Laguna's embrace, lulled by the gentle beating of his heart, Squall drifted into what seemed his first peaceful sleep.
(C) Knightess 2004
