Gundam Wing crossover with Star Wars: Episode I

Disclaimer: I own neither Gundam Wing or Star Wars or anything else copyrighted in this fic. I *do* own my sister, on the other hand. Hee hee, she'll kill me when she reads this. ^_^

Monday morning (7 am) at one of Quatre's mansions.

All the pilots were up already, with the exception of Duo (a/n: did you really expect him to be up at seven in the morning?). There weren't any missions scheduled for today, so they were soooo bored.

"We should go see a movie or something today." Said a very perky Quatre (he jus' had his morning expresso).

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon!" said Wufei almost immediately after Q was done talking. (a/n see my other fic "bored" for reference)

"No. I am not sitting through that again. We've seen it like fifteen times!" said Heero.

"Injustice! That movie is the best ever!"

"Star Wars." Said Trowa. (Trowa said something?!)

"That movie is for weaklings. I will not see it again."

"Yeah! Star Wars rocks! Come on Wuffie, you gotta love it!" Duo had jus' woken (woken? Is that a word?) up. "The great Shinigami proclaims that we will see `Star Wars!'"

After another half an hour or so of arguing, they finally decided to see Star Wars.

~ At the Movies ~

"I want Nachos" whined Duo.

"You always want nachos" said Quatre.

"It's not my fault they're soooo incredibly good!"

"Fine. Here's five bucks. Is that enough?"

"Not if I get a drink."

"It's a money making scheme, these over priced snacks..." [1]

"If you don't hurry up we'll be late for the movie. [sarcastically] Wouldn't want that now would we." Said Wufei.

~ In the theater ~ (I know, I'm flying through this but it's not the main part of the story so bear with me)

The Gundam guys did make it on time...barely. Luckily, they made it in time for the trailers, otherwise Duo probably would have been shot. (Heero (and me) love, love, love, love trailers! ^_^) Finally, the movie started...

~ The end of the movie: when Obi and Yoda were talking in that room. ~

"[ok, I can't remember what was said here, I haven't seen that movie in ages, so sorry]" said Yoda.

{Back in the theater Duo took some Advil because he was getting a headache from listening to Wu rant about not seeing `Crouching Tiger'.}

Suddenly, there was a very large white flash (much like the one that appears with Q in Star Trek) and the G-guys appeared in the room.

"What the hell?" asked a very confused Wufei. He looked like he just woke up.

"Whoa! It's Yoda and Obi! Hey! What's up?! ^_^" said Duo.

"Who are you?" asked Obi-Wan.

"I'm Duo Maxwell, the Shinigami. Perhaps you've heard of my greatness?"

"No, `fraid not."

"Oh."

"Baka." Said Heero and Wufei.

"Wait a minute...are we *in* the movie?" asked Quatre.

"Hn. I have to go kill Jar-Jar the annoying and irritating one." Said Heero.

"I'll join you." Said Wufei.

They both left with everyone staring at them.

"So...uh...what now?" asked Duo.

"I have no idea." Said Quatre.

"Show them to the Queen, you will, young Kenobi." Said Yoda

"Yes, master. Come with me."

"NANI?!?!?! RELENA'S HERE TOO?! SHIT! LET ME OUT!!!" frantically yelled Duo, until it finally dawned on him that there was another queen here. "Are we going to see Amidala?" asked Duo

"Yes, that is what he just said." Stated Trowa.

"Oh! I didn't introduce us yet!" said Quatre. "My name is Quatre Raberba Winner. You already know Duo Maxwell, and this is Trowa Barton. The two people who left were Heero Yuy and Chang Wufei. I already know you are Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda of the Jedi order."

"How...?"

"::deep breath:: In our...uh...universe, this is all a movie called `Star Wars'" began Quatre.

It took about ten minutes to explain everything, but after seeing the look on their faces, Quatre decided to explain it differently.

"I don't really know where to begin, but--"

"It's all right, Q-man, I'll handle this. OK: you guys ever seen Star Trek?" said Duo.

"Duo no baka, of coarse they've never seen Star Trek! That's only in our dimension! [to the SW peops] We're from another universe/dimension/whatever and need to get back home. In our home, there are these things called `movies'. They are stories you can watch instead of read. Anyway, there's one called `Star Wars' and it's about how young Obi-Wan Kenobi and his now late master Qui-Gon Jinn go to Naboo...[goes on to briefly explain the movie]. Does any of this sound familiar?" said Trowa.

"Wow. I've never heard you say that much! I'll bet that was longer than if you combine everything you've said in your entire life!" said Duo.

"So do you understand now?" Trowa asked Obi and Yoda.

"Yes. I still think the best idea would be to bring you to the Queen. She will have to decide what to do with you, since you did...appear...on her planet." said Obi.

"And explain to the council this, I will." Said Yogurt...I mean Yoda. [2]

"Ok. When we get there, I'll let you explain it though." Said Trowa.

~~ Meanwhile, by the gungans ~~

Wufei had his katana out and was hiding behind a shrub with Heero, who had his gun out.

"Now, you be quiet so no one notices us. Otherwise, we won't be able to get out of here quickly. I don't want to leave Duo alone for too long, he might do something stupid."

"What do you mean `might'? And INJUSTICE!!! I GET TO SHOOT THAT THING!!!"

"No, I thought of the idea first. Now be quiet."

"::mumble, mumble:: Nataku...injustice..."

Heero rolled his eyes and aimed his gun until...

"Whosa are yousa?"

"Oh, crap, we were aiming at the wrong one!" said Wufei.

Heero didn't say anything, but whirled around and shot Jar Jar in the head.

"Mission Complete."

"This was a mission?"

"No."

Wufei just looked at him, then Heero shrugged. "I like saying that."

"Hn."

"Hey! That's *my* word!"

They would keep arguing, except that one of the others heard the gun shot and came to investigate. Let's just say that he wasn't happy when he saw Jar Jar dead.

"What did yousa dosa?!"

Heero quickly shot him too, then he and Wufei quickly ran back to the palace before the whole army went after them. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your point of view) no one else noticed so the gungans and the Naboo-ians (this isn't right, but who cares? Not me! ^_^) still were at peace.

~~ back at the palace ~~

"We are most honored to be invited to stay at the palace, your highness, but we really must be getting home...somehow" said Quatre, ever the diplomat.

"Oh, I insist! I implore you to stay and help train our army! I have a bad feeling about this new government and I need all the help I can get."

"Uh...we...uh...need to talk about it with Wufei and Heero. Speaking of which, where are they?"

As if on cue, Heero and Wufei ran in, covered with swamp water, and Wufei had some seaweed on his shoulder, which he pushed off onto the nice, clean floor.

"Mission accomplished."

"Ok, queen, I think we can use that room now. We need to discuss." Said Duo (she had offered to let them use one of her extra conference rooms).

The queen just over one of her hand maidens who showed them to their room. ("please come with me")

~~ In the room ~~

"Since you guys weren't here, [Quatre informs them of what they missed]"

"Hn."

"So what was your mission?" asked Trowa.

"We...administered justice." Said Wufei

"How?"

"We killed Jar Jar." Said Heero. "and this other gungan."

Quatre went pale. "How could you?! I loved Jar Jar!" (a/n: sorry Quatre fans, I had to put that in here! Actually I like Q too!)

"Anyway,...how are we going to get back home. Chances are they don't have any dimension jumping ships here, or they wouldn't be that surprised by our presence." Said Duo.

"Good point. Why don't we go to Courscant? I think we have the best chance there, I mean it's not a backwater little planet like this one." Said Trowa.

"Hai." Heero walked over to the door and banged on it. "Queen! We need transport! Are you there?"

One of Amidala's handmaidens came tot he door. "The Queen is in a meeting at the moment. Do you need something?"

"We need to get to Courscant, please." Said Quatre.

"Alright. I'll talk to General Panaka."

"Arigatou."

The handmaiden left.

"Injustice! The great Chang Wufei will not be locked into a room by a weak onna!"

"Shut up, Wuffie. I don't like it either but we really don't have a choice if we ever want to get off this planet. Too bad we don't have our gundams, Deathscythe could beat the shit out of this stupid little--"

"The Queen will see you now. Please follow me." The handmaiden just came back.

When they got to the Queen's throne room, she was accompanied by several other handmaidens and advisors. They all seemed eager to meet the mysterious new arrivals.

"I have been informed of your situation, and you will travel with the Jedi to Courscant. While there, they will be responsible for your well being. I am not aware where you'll be staying, but I'm sure you will be comfortable. They will be leaving at the end of the day, so be ready to go soon. Sabé, see that they have something to eat and drink."

Sabé nodded and lead them to a *huge* dining room.

"Score! Heero! Look at all this food! Oh, man, today is probably one of the best of my life!! ^_^" said Duo

"Hn." Said Heero as the handmaiden left.

"I hope they poisoned it, then we won't have to deal with Maxwell anymore." Said Wufei as Quatre and Duo were eating some desserts...at least they thought they were desserts...

"You don't seriously think they poisoned it do you?" asked Quatre.

"No. Go ahead, and finish your...uh...what you're eating." Said Trowa.

After waiting there for an hour, (Duo didn't stop eating the whole time) Obi-Wan finally came to get them.

"The transport will be leaving shortly. Come with me."

As they were walking towards the shuttle bay, Obi-Wan told them about where they will be staying on Courscant.

"You will be staying at the Jedi Temple with us. There are not many open rooms, so you will all be sharing one."

"Kuso."

"KISAMA!!! I AM NOT SHARING A ROOM WITH THAT BRAIDED BAKA!!! INJUSTICE!!!"

"Shhh! Wufei, shut up!" whispered Quatre.

Obi-Wan kept talking as if nothing happened and went on to tell them where they could and could not go within the temple.

~~ On the ship ~~

"Master, here are the...travelers."

"Good. Leave we will now."

The minute they got on board, they were sent to and confined to yet another boring room. Except this one had a bunch of R2 units in it.

"Cool! R2-D2's!" Exclaimed Duo. He quickly got out his bag and tried to shove one of his CDs into the droid.

"Maxwell, what are you doing?" asked an irritated Wufei.

"What does it look like? I'm putting a disc into it like Luke did in `A New Hope'! Except, it's not working right. The droid keeps spitting it out at me. Hmm...maybe I'm putting it in upside down..." Duo flipped the CD up side down, and for some reason, the R2 unit started playing some Rush (a/n: I absolutely LOVE Rush!! ^_^) and Duo started singing along. Wufei went to the corner and started discussing this with Nataku.

They actually weren't in there for long before another Jedi came in and asked them to come to the bridge.

"Hey, maybe if we see Anakin you guys can kill him too" whispered Trowa.

"No! `Cuz then there'd be no Vader and Vader is the coolest! We just have to suffer through him" said Duo.

"If that weakling gets in my way I'm killing him" said Wufei, in a tone that implied that there was no talking him out of it. Heero ended up agreeing with him.

~~ The Bridge ~~

The five pilots came onto the bridge only to see a bunch of Jedi and computers with maps of the galaxy on them.

"Please show or tell us where you're from" said Mace Windu.

"It's not on the map" said Heero.

"What?"

All the pilots looked at Trowa, informing him to inform them. (So I can't find the thesaurus, OK?)

"::sigh:: [Trowa explained it to them, just as he had explained it to Yoda and Obi]" and after a half-an-hour, "And this is the last time I'm explaining it! I'm getting really sick of these speeches and my throat hurts. I don't know how you people can talk all the time." With that he sat down in some chair that appeared behind him.

The Jedi sent them back to the room and discussed the best coarse of action.

~~ in the "R2-D2 room" ~~

"Man, those Jedi are ass holes! What, are we not good enough to listen to their super secret conversation?!" asked Duo.

"They're unsure about us. That story was pretty far fetched. You have to look at it from their prospective." said Heero, but he was pretty PO'd too.

The Rush CD was still playing in the background when a little blonde-haired boy came in.

"Hi! I heard you were from another galaxy! My name's Anakin, but everybody calls me Ani!" he was all smiles,...until he saw the Yuy Death Glare and Wufei looking murderous.

"Weakling, why do you use an onna's name?!" give you 5 guesses as to who said that! ^_^

"Uh...I don't know!" his smile was back, for some annoying reason. "Are you guys pilots? I'm a pilot! I can also fly a podracer, and am the only human who can do it!"

"Ya, we know that already." said Duo, who was getting pretty sick of this kid.

"Uh...how?"

"We're psychic." said Duo matter-of-factly.

"Yep, in our universe we can see the future and tell people what's in store for them." Duo was having great fun teasing the kid.

"Are you guys Jedi Knights?"

"No, we're higher than Jedi! We're from the...uh...Gundam order and are the Jedi's all powerful overlords. They just aren't strong enough with the force to sense our power yet. But in time, I'm sure they'll come to realize the truth about the world we live in."

Anakin just stared at him with huge, believing eyes. "Wwwwooooowwww! To the Jedi know what you guys are? I mean, did you tell them?"

"Nope. We want them to find it out for themselves."

"Oh, ok! I won't tell either! What are you guys called?"

"I'm the Shinigami, that one there w/ the black hair is Nataku [Wufei's face was *very* red w/ anger], that's Spandex [pointed to Hee-chan], that's Q [Quatre], and that's Unibang [duh]."

"Wow you guys have weird names!"

"Well, `Ani' isn't that normal either."

"Hey! My mommy likes it."

"::cough, cough:: momma's boy ::cough, cough::" said Heero, which caused them all to give him weird looks.

Anakin was about to say something else, but then Obi burst into the room.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking everywhere for you! ::sigh, and looks at ceiling:: Why? Oh, why did I agree to train you?!"

"Oh, god, he talks to Nataku too!"

"Maxwell no Baka! I'm the only one who talks to Nataku!"

"Ya, you're right, no one else it that stupid" said Duo, who was currently hiding behind Heero, who was trying to get away (Wufei had his katana out).

"And you people, come with me. We'll be reaching Courscant soon." Obi grabbed Anikan by the right arm and dragged him (painfully) out. Duo grabbed his Rush CD (a/n: listenin' to it now! ^_^) which the R2-D2 look-alike popped out for him and they left.

~~ On Courscant...at the Jedi Temple ::sweatdrop:: ~~

"Cool! This place is awesomer than in the movie!" said Duo.

"Baka, `awesomer' isn't a word. It's `more awesome' and that isn't a very intelligent statement" said Wufei.

They were led into the temple and straight to a small room. "Stay here, and keep out of trouble." said Obi and left.

"INJUSTICE!!! That's the same line he said to Jar Jar and I will not be spoken to in that manner!! KISAMA!!!"

"Shut up Wu! Come on,..." Duo was currently going through the cabinets for something...anything that said `painkiller' on it. "Aha! Here we go! `Jedi-strength Advil!" (a/n: as you can tell from all my fics, I don't know what I'd do w/o Advil! ^_^) Duo popped open the bottle and when he swallowed the pills they were automatically transported back to their universe.

"What the hell?..."

"It was the Advil!!! The Advil made us jump! I took some when we jumped there, and when I took some there we jumped here!"

And from that day forth, none of the G-boys ever took Advil again. They did, however, buy bottles of it and ship them all to Relena's house, hoping she'll jump away from them, or OD and die! We can only hope Relena is that stupid.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/n: weird. Very weird. I don't know what I was on when I wrote this...

Anyways, ya. I don't know what else to blather about down here, except to say: "SEE METROPOLIS!!! THAT MOVIE WAS GREAT!!" ^_^ Ja ne!

[1] My mom always complains about that. She thinks anime is a money making scheme too. INJUSTICE!

[2] That was a `Spaceballs' reference, for anyone who didn't get that