Suggested Listening: Hot Mess-Cobra Starship

He was at least twenty-two, and the sex god of the village. People in her age group often talked about him, mostly girls who wanted him and boys who wanted to be like him. Ino had a crush on him at one point, but then dismissed him in favour of Itachi Uchiha, his serious and handsome younger cousin. And then Chouji, but that technically wasn't a crush since they have been going out for a solid year as of next week.

To most people Sakura knew, he was just a legend. He was funny, he was cute, he was a (the) prodigy, and he was an excellent ninja.

Sakura didn't particularly care about Shisui. She only knew him from gossip and Sasuke's complaints about him, and what she heard wasn't to her liking. Sasuke recounted all the women he took down to his room, the mess he left in the kitchen, him and Itachi pranking him, the time they tied him to a practice pole and left him there when he was only six. Frankly, Sakura thought he was a jerk and tried to avoid him whenever possible. Types like that got on her nerves big time, men who thought they had it all and couldn't keep it in his pants.

But, like a cat's litter box, ignoring them just made it worse.

"Ahhh…this is good." Shisui moaned as he slurped the udon off his chopsticks. "I know you can't cook like this, Sasuke. Who made this? Auntie?"

Sasuke silently glared at him from his chair at the kitchen table. He reviewed his options. He knew he couldn't catch Shisui, especially since he just got back from an intense training with his team. He had said something about ramen, maybe it was that it had too sodium and was bad for you, he couldn't remember…Anyway, Sakura and Naruto ganged up on him. He hadn't gotten away until he apologized to the gods of ramen, which included kissing a ramen packet that Naruto mysteriously had in his pocket. Sakura had patched them all up in a few minutes, so his body was uninjured, but he was still exhausted mentally, and his pride had been severely damaged. So if he attacked Shisui, he would just end up spilling the chicken broth everywhere. Shisui would blame it on him, his mother would make him clean it up, give Shisui a stick of dango and send him on his merry way.

Shisui suddenly choked. Coughing, he almost dropped his chopsticks.

"I did, thank you."

Sakura appeared from behind him, snatched the bowl of udon from Shisui's hands and stuck the wooden spoon in her medic apron's side pocket.

Glaring at the spiky haired shinobi, she put Sasuke's bowl down in front of him with a thunk, receiving a 'hn' in thanks.

Shisui recovered almost instantly.

"Who's this, Sasuke-kun?" Shisui looked her over appreciatively. Long legs, pretty face-kind of flat chested, but a handful was all you need, really, and they wouldn't sag in the long run.

Shisui appeared behind Sasuke and dug his elbow into his neck.

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Sakura, this is my cousin, Shisui. Shisui, this is my teammate, Sakura."

"Haruno, right?" Shisui's gaze stopped on her face. "Lady Tsunade's apprentice? I've heard a lot about you."

"And I've heard a lot about you." Sakura retorted. She returned to the kitchen. Shisui followed.

"Nothing good, I bet. What has Sasuke-kun told you about me?" He asks dryly.

Sakura turned the heat down on the stove. She took the spoon from her apron and began stirring her pot. Shisui peered inside. It was filled with various vegetables and ramen and smelled like heaven.

"Like you said, nothing good." Sakura set the spoon down on the counter, a handy towel protecting it.

"You shouldn't judge people by what you hear."

Sasuke snorted.

Shisui glared at him over the counter.

"Why does it matter to you what I think of you?"

"I like making friends." He said innocently. "I would be pretty sad if someone didn't like me before they met me." He moves closer.

"I'll find you a box of Kleenex." Sakura opened the cabinet, but winced when she saw how far up the bowls were. Grimacing, she tried to think of ways to get one without embarrassing herself in front of this idiot.

But Shisui realized the situation. He grabbed a bowl and handed it to her, smiling kindly.

Sakura smiled back grudgingly and blushed a delicate pink.

Shisui was smitten.

"Hello, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura held back a frown. Again?

Shisui Uchiha sat on the examining table, smiling a smile cheesier than anything Naruto could make his face do.

"Uchiha." She said stiffly. "What is it this time?"

'Burnt my leg real bad." He said cheerfully. "Nasty Akatsuki."

Sakura let her frown show. Her team had encountered some of the Akatsuki before. Naruto…

"Can you check my head, too? Think I heard something crunch…" Her thoughts crashed around her. Nodding, she went over to him.

"Lay your leg down on the table, please." She instructed. Shisui did so, not even wincing as he pulled his leg unto the paper covered metal.

His pant leg had already been cut away, revealing singed flesh up to his thigh. Sakura immediately went into action. Green chakra poured from her hands and brushed his skin, knitting it back together. White, sharp pieces of…something plunked out onto the paper as she worked, previously embedded in his dermis.

"I hope that that clay is nontoxic." He commented.

"Deidara?"

"Yup."

Sakura stopped the low of chakra to her hands. Leaning against Shisui slightly, she removed his headband and moved her fingers around on his head, feeling for bumps. Finding one as big as a chicken egg, she touched it lightly with her index finger and poured chakra into it. It went down in a few seconds.

Normally, she would use so much chakra on a patient. But Shisui was probably going on a mission tomorrow, and he needed to be his best, especially with Akatsuki wondering around Fire's border.

"Your leg's completely healed…But you need to rest if for a while, or at least don't put much pressure on it. There was a fracture." Sakura removed her hand from his hair, wiping it on her white coat. "Your head's fine, but you might get a headache or two from my chakra. Just take some aspirin and you'll be one hundred percent."

"Okay, Dr. Haruno." He saluted her and gracefully hopped down from the examining table. "Oh…wait…Auntie wanted me to invite you to our Christmas party."

"Christmas party?" Sakura blinked as she carefully folded up the thin paper with the clay pieces inside, shoving it into the metal trashcan. "Who else is coming?"

"Some of Itachi's teammates, Uncle's stuffy old buddies, Sasuke's friends…some branch members, which includes me, my mom…well, everyone who's anyone, to sum it up. You coming?"

"I suppose. I go every year, don't I?"

"You do?" Shisui looks surprised. "I never noticed you. Oh, wait!" He grins. "I remember now…I remember you came one year, when Sasuke was twelve, and your hair was long, and next year it was shorter than Itachi's…"

Oh gods. Sakura hoped he wasn't talking about what she thought he was talking about. She had forgotten about that a long time ago-

He came closer to her, invading her personal space. He lowered his lips to her ear, brushing then against her soft lobe. He raised his hand to the back of her head slowly and lays the other on her waist. Sakura watched him like a deer in the headlights, nowhere to run.

"Sex hair."

Shisui laughs and disappears in a flicker of light, leaving Sakura red and her hair mussed.

"You should really keep it the length it is now, forehead. I miss you having long hair. Besides," Ino added in a whisper, "how are you going to ever get the guy you want with hair like a boy's?"

"If they don't want to date me because of my hair then they aren't worth it."

"You could miss out on your soulmate because he thinks you're a guy. Or attract gay men…"

"I don't look like a guy, Ino-pig!"

"She definitely doesn't look like a guy."

Shisui Uchiha sat down next to the girls at the ramen counter, looking like he just came from a mission. He probably had. His hair was mussed, his face slightly dirty, and his clothes wrinkled. Still good looking, far as someone like Ino was concerned, Sakura thought darkly.

"But I've always wondered, why do you keep your hair short?"

"I did it to get away from sound ninjas during the Chunin exams." Sakura said flatly.

"Yeah, forehead used to be really girly. Ever since the exams she's been a total tomboy." She smirked.

"That's good-

("Hello, Uchiha-san! What will you be having today?"

"Just some chicken ramen today Ayame-chan, if it's not too much trouble."

"Of course not, Uchiha-san. It'll be ready in a moment!")

"girly girls are really annoying."

Ino blushed. "How are they annoying?!"

"How are they not?"

("Here's your ramen, Uchiha-san!"

"Thank you, Ayame-chan.")

"They are always taking too long, and fussing over little things." Shisui chewed some noodles. "And…'gulp' and I don't like makeup or perfume and all that stuff. Makes me sneeze."

While Ino's world shattered into a million pieces, Sakura turned to Shisui, surprised. "I wouldn't have thought that about you. I thought you liked…" Sakura blushed.

"Liked what?"

"Nothing, I'm just surprised."

"Well, we don't know each other very well, Sakura-chan. Maybe we should try to-"

"I have to go meet Lee at the park! I totally forgot! Sorry Ino!"

Sakura disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Shisui looked at the smoke, a bemused look on his face. Oh the irony.

"Damn, she left me with the bill again!"

Sakura left the park cautiously. She had sensed two very familiar chakra signatures throughout her training session with Gai and Lee, and she was nervous. Why were they hiding, and what did they want?

A flash of orange at the corner of her eye sent her running.

Dodging old people on the sidewalk, leaping over strollers, she made it to a building. Adding chakra to her feet, she dashed up the side and ran like hell to her neighborhood.

Sakura ran up her walkway and leapt unto her front porch. Hearing a soft 'crunch' she kicked whatever the hell was in her way off the wood into the yard, unlocked her front door and quickly opened it. Once inside, she locked it securely.

"Not getting away that easily, Sakura-chan."

Sakura eeped and turned around.

Naruto and Kakashi stood behind her, arms crossed.

Oh great. The interrogation.

"Why were you sitting with Sasuke's cousin at lunch yesterday, Sakura-chan? Are you two dating? Eloping?" Kakashi asked. His voice was deceptively calm.

"Wha…No, you idiots, I was eating with Ino!"

Kakashi turned to Naruto. "You didn't tell me Ino was there."

"That wasn't important." Naruto mumbled.

Kakashi turned back to Sakura. "I'm surprised at you Sakura-chan!" He wipes a small tear from the corner of his eye. "After all these years, I thought I had taught you nothing…" He sobs. "But now, I realize I had actually gotten though to you…" He opened a pouch on his waist, removed a dog eared orange book and began flipping though it. "Although, I rather wish you had picked better partners…"

"What are you talking about?" Sakura and Naruto chorused.

Do I want to know?

Probably not.

Kakashi finally found the page he had been looking for. Eye crinkling triumphantly, he presented his finding to his young students.

Naruto stared, memorized, while Sakura turned an interesting shade of red probably not ordinarily found in nature.

"YOU THINK WE'RE HAVING A THREESOME?"

"So, who are you Santaing?"

"Neji." Sakura groaned. "He's really hard to shop for…in the end I just got him something useful…"

"What is it?" Ino leaned forward confidentially. "I won't tell a soul."

"Why do I not believe that?"

"No idea. Okay fine, you won't share. But what's going on with you and Shisui?"

"Uchiha? Nothing, nothing. He's just been stalking me for while, or something. He'll get over it."

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Sakura-chan."

Ino turned around. Shisui was behind her, wearing a dark green sweater, jeans, with a cup of eggnog in his left hand. His other hand was on Sakura's head, his fingers kneading into her hair.

Sakura twitched. "Shisui…"

"You finally said my name." He said, pleased. He jumped onto the back of the couch, making it creak worse than an old lady's joints, somehow not spilling a drop of his eggnog, and slid between Ino and Sakura. Ino scooted over, and Sakura stood up.

"I'm going to go find Kakashi." She muttered.

But Shisui pulled her back down, into his lap. Sakura shrieked and squirmed.

"Let me go. Jerk!"

"Sorry, Sakura." He said cheerfully. "Sasuke is helping his mom, Itachi's chatting up some Aburame bird, the Hyuuga are no fun, and the girl with the green hair is weird. You're my last option."

"Oh, gee, thanks." She growled. "Ino!"

"Sorry, forehead, I think I just saw Chouji." Ino winks and jumps off the couch, heading towards an area that definitely didn't have a guy named Chouji in it. Or anyone, really.

Sakura glared up at the Uchiha, who was smirking happily. She wanted to punch him so bad…If only she wasn't at his family's Christmas party, and he wasn't Sasuke's cousin.

"You have five seconds before I scream."

"You won't."

"Why won't I?"

"You do it and I'll kiss you."

"I'll break your jaw."

"But you'll still have Shisui cooties."

"I'm a medic. I don't believe in cooties." Sakura began squirming.

"Stop that. I know most girls would kill to give me a lap dance, but I thought you were different, Sakura-chan…"

"Oh my Kami you pervert get away from me now." She stopped squirming though. Giving him a hard-on was not on her bucket list.

"How am I a pervert?"

"How are you not?"

"………………………….."

"Exc-

"Shhh, I'm thinking."

"If you have to think about it, you're a pervert." Sakura said triumphantly.

"Or maybe I just enjoy the finer things in life." He countered.

"Like what?"

"Sexy pink haired girls, for one."

"….I'm disturbed."

"I knew that."

"You're a moron. Let me go."

"Say please." He purred.

"No."

Shisui nuzzles her neck and takes a swig of eggnog. Sakura leans over and sniffs the liquid. "That has alcohol in it."

"Yep."

Sakura snatches the cup, raises it to her mouth, and drains it. Licking the liquid off the corner of her mouth, she smirks at Shisui.

"Cute, Sakura-chan. But you missed a spot…here." Shisui dabs her lip with his index finger and slips it into his mouth.

Sakura sticks her tongue out in distaste. "Rum."

"Really? I'm not very familiar with alcohol, so I couldn't tell. Isn't that a Mist thing?"

"Mist likes their rum." Sakura nodded. "And that was really gross, by the way."

"Isn't that what couples do?"

"We're not a couple."

"That's not what they think." Shisui nodded towards …Naruto and Kakashi.

Kakashi noticed Shisui looking at them. He elbowed Naruto, who also noticed and cracked his knuckles threateningly. Kakashi pushed his haiti-ate up, revealing his Sharingan.

Damn it.

Shisui smiled and waved. Setting his empty cup down on the table, he wrapped his other arm around Sakura's waist.

"I noticed you've stopped struggling."

"I'm waiting for sensei to kick your ass, since I think Mikoto would be mad at me if I killed you, and I wouldn't want that."

"Right. I think you're just happy there."

"Ha."

"Hey, the secret Santa's thing's starting. Up, Sakura-chan." Shisui released her.

Sakura practically ran for the Christmas tree, with Shisui following close behind.

"Oh, look who finally decided to join us." Kiba jibed.

Sakura blushed darkly. "Shut up. Kiba. Now."

"Why? Are you ashamed of your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"That's what they all say."

Kakashi and Naruto suddenly appeared, attempting to slide between Uchiha and the blushing girl. Unfortunately for them Shisui was faster and more determined. Wrapping his arm around her waist in the blink of an eye, Shisui commented: 'Oh, by the way, I asked Auntie and Fugaku-sama what their opinion was of you, and they approved of you. Unfortunately, Auntie took that to mean we are dating. She's pretty excited, already talking about you being in the family and her babying our children…"

"What? Why did you tell her we were dating?"

"I didn't. She came to that conclusion herself."

"We're not dating."

"We could be."

"….I really don't even know you," She paused.

"I'm glad you finally realized that."

"and I'm not particularly happy with you embarrassing me with your drunk ass idiocy-

"Exactly, Sakura-chan."

"plus, I kind of wish you'd leave me alone-

"Tell him the truth!"

"But call me when you're sober, and maybe we'll do something together, like going to see a movie or Ichiraku's."

"What…?!" Naruto's mouth moved like a fish.

Shisui took this all in stride. "I'll remember that. And I don't think I'm drunk."

Sakura smiled. "You're tipsy, at least. How many glasses of eggnog did you have?"

"Two." He smiled sheepishly.

Her eyes twinkled. "Lightweight."

"Yep. I can't even compare to the likes of you and Lady Tsunade. Most Uchiha couldn't."

"Really? I thought it was just Sasuke." Sakura grinned mischievously. "You should have seen him on our last mission to Rice Country."

Shisui laughed, and Sakura feels a bit guilty for giving him ammunition against his cousin.

It faded in a couple of seconds. Sakura gently removed herself from Shisui's arm and moves a few inches away from him. He shoots her an expression a puppy might have after being denied it's favourite treat.

Kakashi smirks.

Sakura moves closer to her teammates and Naruto steps forward as if to protect her, shielding her with his body.

Shisui smiled at Naruto. "Nice shirt."

His scowl deepened.

"You know you shouldn't try to control your friends."

Naruto gritted his teeth.

"Just saying…"

"Okay! Let's start now!" Mikoto called. Most grew silent.

"First present on top is for…Kagami!"

Kagami Uchiha pushed though the crowd awkwardly and received his present blank faced. A metallic silver bag with "Merry Christmas' across it in glittering gold letters, he opened it carefully-and smiled as a…special edition of Icha Icha was revealed. Some people from the crowd whistled.

Kakashi nodded appreciably. "Can't go wrong with that."

Next, Naruto was called up. He grinned at Mikoto and the crowd as he received his medium sized box, which, opened, revealed a sweater with "Team Ichiraku" in bold letters and a picture of a steaming hot bowl of ramen. Mikoto winked at him and Naruto put it on immediately, beaming.

Kakashi went next, and then some other Uchiha that Sakura didn't know, Sasuke's dad, a few Hyuuga, some people from the interrogation squad, (Marino Ibiki included) and some other important people from around the village and Fire Country. Shisui whispered the names of the people he knew into her ear as he saw them.

Neji, the person Sakura was Secret Santa to, looked straight at her and smiled when he opened his pack of medicines and basic antidotes.(She knew Ino wouldn't keep her mouth shut.) It was an improved version of the current ANBU kit, something Tsunade, Shizune and Sakura had been working on for a while.

Finally, Mikoto got to Sakura. Her present was on the bottom, very small, probably thinner than the paper it was wrapped in. Sakura went though the crowd cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

Mikoto handed it to her with a puzzled smile, her eyes curious. Sakura groped the package. Probably a gift card. Feeling everyone's eyes on her, she gently opened the thin package, and a piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

Picking it up, Sakura studied the narrow paper.

It was a coupon for a free haircut at the very expensive Sakura Salon, (Not affiliated with her.) on Tea Leaf street. Sakura looked inside the wrappings again, and found another piece of paper.

Written in a neat scrawl was a time and date. An appointment.

Sakura looked out at the crowd and Shisui winked.

A/N: Of course he rigged it! xD He couldn't get Mikoto to give Sakura his, though...

And the thing Sakura stepped on were 12 red roses. Go figure.

Thanks for reading. I worked hard on this.