I'm back, some of you old school folks may remember me from like 2003 (or not) waay back when I was 15. I'm 18 and just found my log-in shit, so hopefully I'll be posting on some of the old stuff.

I also am writing newer stuff, like this here Ouran Fic.

TamakiXKyoya pairing. Not to slashy which is a change from some of the SMUT I usually write. I'm rating it because I may use choice words in the fic. (and a lot in my A/N)

A/N: I don't own them…but I lay dibs to their Love Lives, and that justifies this story. (I have to make it right in my mind)

The song in this story, the one that gave me the Idea (It's an older song, but I love it)

Is By Vertical Horizon "Everything You Want" off of their CD "Everything You Want". (This is one of those songs that everyone loved but could never remember the title or the singer until someone would go you know that one song…and start singing it. (I think this song is the shit!!!)

I'm a review whore so if you like it, tell me, otherwise I won't post.

'He was back. Thank God he's back' were the only words going through Kyoya's mind as he watched a dripping wet Tamaki enter the 3rd music room. He looked at his notebook. Two water shaped dollops smeared the pristine black ink words. No one noticed it thankfully, but the very sentiment of it surprised even Kyoya himself.

But that was before the dance. From his post on the wall, watching diligently, in silence as always, as Tamaki danced with his princess, Fujioka Haruhi. He watched with quiet eyes as Tamaki twirled her around the floor. She was what he wanted...not… 'Stop' he commanded, feeling tears that had already flowed once already that day. 'You're in public. This is not the way an Ootori acts' he chided himself.

That was what he was. The son of a famous business man and doctor. Both himself and Souh Tamaki were heirs to a throne, but for Tamaki being charming and endearing were things that came naturally. 'Like being perfect' he mourned wistfully to himself, watching his Prince, his King, dancing with who would probably become his princess.

'Why am I here?' Kyoya asked himself, wondering his purpose. Was it always to be his brothers shadow, or now that he'd proven himself to be worthy, his father's protégé?

He wasn't like Tamaki. He wasn't a natural flirt, or even a natural leader. He was book smart, and learned quickly, but even with all his childish naivety, Tamaki was more of a man than he could ever be. He was perfect. Kyoya was nothing compared to him, he was sure of it.

It wasn't until he heard muttered whispers and excited murmurs around him, that he realized people were speaking and forced himself out of his defensive state that he always took when he was buried in thought.

Looking up from the protection of his black-spiraled shelter, where all of his battles were fought, ink-blood shed and wounded words lost in whispers never said.

He looked up to see Tamaki's lips locked around Haruhi.

He walked away calmly excused himself, closing his notebook. He calmly walked out, without another word. No one suspected a thing. This was him. Controlled, dignified. He sauntered out of the ballroom and walked to the Third Music Room. The twins were there, changing into yet another outfit.

"Hey Kyoya, I'm surprised you're not keeping an eye on your profits", Hikaru said, jokingly, perhaps a little meaner than he meant. Those words rattled Kyoya in his current state. He shrugged it off, playing cool, as he'd done all his life- until Tamaki came along.

"I have work I need to do. Someone needs to manage this club." He said simply, working to keep his tone from being defensive. All of his training came in handy, fooling even those closest to him. The twins finished dressing and excused themselves.

Kyoya tried to occupy himself with his work, but his mind kept flickering back to that kiss.

'It didn't matter' he told himself.

"He means nothing to me." Kyoya worked to believe this. He called on years of acting the egotist, callous and condescending to force this thought past his lips. He read it from the words scrawled on his notebook, proof that this wasn't the first time he confronted this thought. He glared at the words in the notebook. If only he could make them stick. He closed his notebook and closed the door to the Third Music Room, not wanting to dwell on his thoughts. He moved aimlessly down the path of the rose-covered maze. It was a beautiful night, stars sparkling and the moon shining brightly. Too bad Kyoya was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He made it to the white gazebo. He'd found them hiding there before. 'How long had this gone on?" he thought out loud to no one in particular. "How long have you been…" he trailed off. 'Betraying me.' But why did he feel betrayed by Tamaki? That was his best friend. Perhaps some sort of friendly rivalry, although he knew he could never match Tamaki. But he knew it was more than that.

Pangs of pain ripped through him and he'd wondered why he'd joined the host club in the first place, why he was here.

He realized that the answers to both those questions were the same.

Souh Tamaki. He, Ootori Kyoya, was falling for his long time friend.

But why did it take him so long to realize it? Why couldn't he see that what he wanted all this time was right in front of him. Everything he'd ever wanted was right there, and he'd neglected it. And he was gone.

His Tamaki was gone.

He means everything. He should have told him, stopped him. But he was too afraid. He couldn't show that emotion. He was calm cool, collected. He was an Ootori. He sent others to do his bidding.

He sent Haruhi to save Tamaki and now he was paying for it.

With all the shock of the day, the bottled up emotions, realizing he lost Tamaki for the second time that day, and lack of food and sheer exhaustion, he called out Tamaki's name, hearing it echo throughout the maze as he collapsed on the floor.

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

Chorus
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

Okay, Not my first fic, but it is my first Ouran Fic. I believe that the compassionless thing is just an act so please don't bitch about OOC for Kyoya. Everyone has a mask.

I'm working on the second chapter as we speak. We're looking at 3 chapters, but only if you guys review.

-.- Jaden aka Jade.