No Fear: Freya
"...I wanna find out who those guys were...and why I look like them." Vivi's glowing eyes burned fervently with ambition. Through the veil of fear that enveloped him, a new sense of purpose emerged; an entity that breathed a vapor of life into the boy. He adjusted his hat anxiously, looking down at the streams of rainwater congregating in shallow pools, infiltrating the cracks of the slick cobblestones. He inspected the sullen visage that mimicked him in the puddle, perhaps wondering if this sad and confused creature he had evolved into was permanent.
"Look, Vivi's scared, too. But we have to face reality." Zidane was right. The poison known as 'fear' was devouring the veins in my chest as well, entwining tendrils curved about my heart, strangling my very life. I had failed my duty to protect his Highness and the people of Burmecia. I should not be allowed to live. Sacrifice is the highest honor a knight could perform for their fellow countryman. It would be the culmination of my life's work; I would die happily for something bigger than myself. The portentous clouds dwelling above my homeland released ceaseless cascades of rain. The drops drummed upon the abandoned dwellings, as though with their dirge, they could replace the once vibrant society that used to infiltrate the streets. Archaic ancestral statues stood regally, their shining marble faces glaring into the empty alleyways. The robes swaddling about their static forms were soaked by the precipitation. It was the never-ending rain of an anguished heart.
"Come on, Freya. It'll be okay..." I was wrestled from my introspection by a cracked voice. A gentle hand rested itself upon me in reassurance. Though his countenance was hidden, Vivi's eyes portrayed concern. The steps leading to the Royal Palace beckoned me with a gentle coaxing, as though to reassure me that the King still breathed. Zidane began to ascend, his tail curled in resolve to press forward. The swallowing darkness enveloped us, and every advance led up deeper into the void. With a clawed hand, I brushed away a stray lock of hair and turned to the child.
"Vivi... Do you really know what you're doing? The answer you seek may forever change your life for the worse."
I didn't know from where the question came. I suppose it was the result of my pessimistic mood, but my frigid statement tore into his tender flesh. He lowered his head despairingly and scuffed his shoe upon the stone in quiet thought. I mentally cursed myself for making him feel as such. You are only a child once, but for Vivi, the blessing of youth will have to be delayed for the time being. Suddenly, he did something I hadn't expected; he lifted his head in response.
"Um... Y-Yeah... But... But I have to... I have to find out who I am... I'm scared... What if I'm not even human...?"
"Vivi..." I began to rectify, but was interrupted by Quina's bellowing. Additionally, Dan's arrival did not help the mage's mood. With every accusation he made that the boy was an enemy, the more nervous Vivi became.
Sir Fratley, What would you have done?
My reverie curled about me like a haunting specter. Oh how I wished to be reunited with him! I still pray to see him again, despite the fact that everything seemed to impede my desire. Vast plains of grass swirled and swerved like a tormented sea beneath an amber sky. Sheets of downpour growled in the distance, crying out in mourning for the ruined kingdom that it had come to love.
My shoulder ached.
The gleaming mythril spear rested beside me, but not even the valiance and fortitude of this noble weapon could stop Beatrix. She bested us all, and on the morrow, we make an effort to save Cleyra from suffering the fate of her sister, Burmecia. Before us the sandstorm raged like a hungry dragon. My heart was at least glad to know that the King survived and made his escape.
"Hey Freya" my ears pricked at the faint voice. A plump body plopped itself beside me, looking out at the tangerine sunset. My whiskers bristled at my new company.
"Hello Vivi" I responded "How are you faring?"
"I have a headache that's pretty bad, but otherwise I'm ok"
"I am glad to hear it" I managed to summon a smile, then turning back to the landscape.
"Freya…umm…" He began, with a wandering glove, he nervously plucked a blade of grass with every thought he processed. "Remember when we were in the tunnel with all the stairs?"
"Yes."
"Well, before that soldier was yelling-"
"Soldier Dan is a good man; I've known him for years. He was not yelling because he was angry at you Vivi, he was yelling because he was scared, just like you were scared."
"Is that what you were trying to tell me before? You were telling me not to be scared?"
I scratched my chin in thought. "Everyone gets scared sometimes, child. Even I…"
"…No you don't." came his reply. He responded so quickly that I was taken aback by surprise. "You're a Dragon Knight, and that means you're really brave. Y-you have to be brave because people count on you. You don't get scared. You were sad…but you weren't scared."
I did not expect such a thing. For some time, I twisted about in my head, all the possible utterances I could muster. "I wish I could tell you differently my friend, but the truth is, I was scared today."
"Huh?"
"Yes. I was scared and ashamed because I did not know if I was worthy of wielding the spear anymore. The people of Burmecia were in my charge, and foolishly, I left them to pursue my own fancy."
"You were looking for your boyfriend?"
"Who told you that?"
"Zidane. He thinks you're silly...but those aren't his exact words." Vivi responded, still gently pulling plants from the soil.
The sun was slowly drowning in the horizon, its golden light squelched but its descent.
"Well the monkey is entitled to his own opinion, I suppose. He knows much of women, but little of love."
"Really? I think he likes Princess Gar-…err…Dagger."
Ah, the naivety of youth.
"An interesting thought, but irrelevant right now. Vivi, what I wanted to tell you before, is that although being afraid is something that happens to everyone, it is not something that should stop you from your quest."
The youngest of our party adjusted his lopsided hat in confusion. "How do I do that?"
"It's called faith" I was not certain I believed what I was saying. "Having faith, means believing that things will fare well, even when present circumstances seem otherwise."
A pause resonated between us. Finally the mage's nervous behavior stopped. His glowing eyes seemed to portray deep thought and consideration.
"So…when things are bad, I have to believe things can be good?"
"As a matter of speaking. I suppose you can put it in those terms."
The youth arose, brushing stray foliage from his striped pants. His eyes smiled with renewed vigor.
"I'm not going to give up Freya! Those guys that look like me…they're not me…but maybe we come from the same place. There are lots of questions…but that won't stop me. Just like your boyfriend…you'll find him."
"I do believe I will, if I have faith" I smiled.
"Thanks Freya, I don't want to be afraid anymore." He began to retreat back toward the rest of our comrades. Clouds coursed like streamers across the ink-spilled night. I looked down, remembering the spear that lay beside me. The shining blade that tipped my weapon was met with the gnarled wood of a mage's staff. The companions to two fighters, interlocked with one another, as though they were never separated to begin with.
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