I love you enough to let you go
"I'm moving in with Lucas." The sentence kept running through his head. He had heard her talk to Wilson while he was standing in the elevator waiting for the doors to close. A pained expression washed over his face but none of them saw it.
He went up to his office, sat down behind his computer and began typing quickly. After he finished, he pressed print and waited for the letter to come out of the printer. He grabbed his backpack and left his office as the others entered. They all glanced at each other but shrugged, it was not unusual for their boss to just leave.
House knocked on her office door but didn't wait for her reply. He limped over to her desk and stretched out his arm towards her holding a white envelop.
"What's this?" She asked taking the letter.
"Leave of absence." He simply said and turned around to move to the door.
"What? House, you can't just leave! This has to be cleared with the board, we have to ..." He interrupted her, turning on the spot to look at her. "Don't worry, they were all very eager to accept!"
He started going for the door. She got up quickly and practically ran to him before he could leave.
"House ..." she started but didn't know what to say. He turned around when he heard her voice, soft, almost begging. Almost!
"I'll see you when I get back." he said, reaching out to touch her hair, but he decided against it and pulled his hand back.
She sighed. "When will that be?" she asked, looking down. She was afraid that if she looked at him she would start crying.
"I don't know." he replied honestly. "I just can't go on like this. Bye Cuddy." he quickly turned around again and left her office, missing the tears that were forming in her eyes and started making their way down her cheeks before she could stop them.
He walked towards the exit of the hospital. Before leaving he turned and glanced around, like it would be the last time he would see it.
"House!" he heard Wilson shout and saw him coming towards him. "Are you okay?" his friend asked. "I'm fine." he replied and just walked away without saying another word.
Luckily for him his car was parked close at the entrance of the hospital.
He had grabbed his bag, made a quick phone call and was back in his car when there was a knock on the window. He looked up and saw Wilson standing there.
"House! Why the hell did you just run?" Wilson asked. He had gone after House as soon as he had checked something at the hospital. House, who didn't feel like talking just shrugged and said "I don't do running. Unfortunatly!" Wilson just looked at him than asked "Are you really okay?" House sighed. "No I'm not okay. That's why I'm leaving for a little while. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be somewhere!"
"Where are you going?" Wilson asked him. House shrugged again. "Home." he replied and took off before Wilson could say anything else.
Back at the hospital Cuddy couldn't help but think about House. That was the only thing she could focus on. 'Why was he leaving. House wasn't one to just get up and leave'. She felt sad that she couldn't talk to him. She glanced at the clock on the wall of her office.
'Great,' she thought. 'Time to go home to my perfect life, just like I wanted. But is this really what I want?'
Sighing she got up, grabbed her stuff and stepped outside of her office. When she walked to the nurses station she noticed that some of the nurses stopped talking and looked at her, then started whispering to each other again. Cuddy narrowed her eyes and was about to say something when she spotted Wilson coming in. He was coming straight towards her and he didn't look happy.
"Are you happy now?" he asked her once he was standing in front of her. Cuddy didn't know what to say and glanced around. Everyone was looking at her and Wilson. "Dr. Wilson, maybe we can..." she started but was interrupted by him. "NO!" he yelled. "He was finally willing to open up, to be happy, and you just pushed him away!" Cuddy looked at the ground willing the tears to stay at bay. "You didn't even have the guts to tell him you were in a relationship!"
"I'm ..."
"Shut up!" Wilson yelled and the hospital went quiet. Cuddy looked up at him, shocked by his behaviour. She didn't have to take this. She was the Dean of Medicine, he worked for her.
She straightend her back and narrowed her eyes at him. "Dr. Wilson. I don't know what your problem is, but behaviour, such as this, I do not tolerate! I accept an apology from you! Now if you'll excuse me I have to go home to my daughter." She pushed past him and just kept walking even when he yelled after her. "Say hello to your boy-toy from me!"
Once in her car she put her head in her hands and cried for the second time that day.
When she got home, she went to her daughter, who was being held by Lucas and took her from him, cuddling her close to her. She needed this more than anything else right now. Lucas leaned in for a kiss but she turned her head so his lips landed on her cheek and she stepped away from him. He looked at her and frowned.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping closer towards her. "Nothing." she replied and quietly spoke to her daughter.
"You've been crying." Lucas stated. She shrugged. "Rough day at work." she replied, only having eyes for her daughter. Lucas sighed, he knew were this was going. "What did he do?" he asked. Cuddy looked at him. "Who?" "House. What did he do that made you cry? And don't deny it, it's always House."
Cuddy looked down again. Thinking about House and not knowing where he went brought tears to her eyes. She didn't know why though. 'That's a lie!' she thought to herself. 'Wilson was right, I couldn't even tell House I was in a relationship. He was willing to open up, but I was with Lucas. I'm not one to cheat. But if I could ...'
"Lisa?" She was snapped out of her thoughts by Lucas' voice. "What did he do?" he asked again, and again moved closer towards her. Her bottom lip started to quiver and tears formed again in her eyes. "He left." she whispered. Lucas looked surprised. "He left?" he repeated. She just nodded, unable to say another word whitout crying.
Lucas couldn't keep the grin from his face. 'I won!' He thought. "Well isn't that what we wanted?" he asked reaching out to touch Cuddy's face. Her head snapped up. "Excuse me?" she asked, anger quickly taking over her body. Rachel could feel it and began to fuss but Cuddy quickly bounced her up and down to settle her. Lucas stroked her jaw. "Well yeah, we wanted him to back off didn't we?"
Cuddy slapped his arm away. "I wanted him to back off, not run off! He's my friend, I should have talked to him instead of acting like a child. I shouldn't have lied to him!"
"He'll be back." Lucas tried to reason with her. Cuddy looked at him, she was becoming annoyed with his behaviour. "I think you should leave!" she told him, moving past him towards the door. He looked surprised. "What, why, I thought we were going to dinner?" he asked, not moving. "I'm not hungry!" she replied and opened the door, indicating she wanted him out. He gave up and moved towards her. "I hope you know what you are doing!" he told her, kissed her cheek then Rachel's forehead and left.
Wilson woke up by someone who kept knocking on his door. He turned around on his couch, kicking the bottle of Scotch to the ground in the process. He cursed, muttered something and sat up. He slowly made his way to the door, the alcohol in his blood making it hard for him to walk straight.
He pulled the door open and the anger he had tried to drown before came back.
"What the hell do you want?" He asked. Cuddy looked at him then took a step back when she smellt the alcohol on his breath.
"Where did he go?" she asked, clutching Rachel to her chest. "Home!" Wilson yelled his reply and was about to close the door, but she stopped him. "No, I went there, he wasn't there. And he hasn't been there." Wilson looked at her. "I asked his neighbours." she said.
"Well he said he was going home, if he hasn't been there I don't know where is went! Now leave me alone!" This time he slammed the door.
Cuddy walked towards her car, Wilson's words going over and over in her head. 'He went home, he went home, by home he meant ...' She looked like she did when House had figured out what was wrong with his patient and quickly got in the car, strapping Rachel in her seat and took off.
Meanwhile House was sitting behind his mothers piano playing some sad melody while his mother was sitting on the couch, her eyes closed, listening as her son played.
When House finished he walked over to where his mother was sitting and sat next to her. They didn't speak untill his mother broke the silence.
"Why did you wait so long to tell her how you feel, Greg?" she asked taking his hand in hers, gently squeezing it. "I ... I don't know mom. I'm not good with feelings." he replied, closing his eyes and putting his head back against the couch. "You were with Stacy." his mother said. "Stacy's not Lisa, mom. They're different! And you know what, I don't want to talk about this right now, or not ever. I came here to forget so..." His mother nodded and got up, leaving her son alone with his thoughts and her piano.
Blythe was surprised when she heard the doorbell ring. She figured House hadn't heard it as he was again playing the piano.
She was even more surprised to see who was at her door.
"Lisa!" she said. "How are you?"
"Hello Blythe." Cuddy said and was surprised when the older woman pulled her into a hug. "Who's this beautiful little girl." Blythe asked her when she noticed Rachel. Cuddy smiled. "This is Rachel, my daughter."
"So this is her. She's beautiful!" Blythe said and looked at Cuddy. "Can I hold her?" Blythe asked and Cuddy nodded handing Rachel to the older woman.
"Come in." Blythe suddenly said, realising they were still at the door. Cuddy walked in after her and immediatly noticed the music coming from the piano. She smiled at this, it had been a while since she had hear him play. Blythe noticed this and pointed to the door in the hallway. "Go on." she told Cuddy. Cuddy was hesitant at first, but when Blythed smiled at her and said, "Don't worry, I'll look after Rachel untill you're done talking." she smiled and walked towards the door.
She opened it as quietly as she could, not wanting to disturb him. Leaning against the doorframe she watched him play and listened to the song that she didn't recognize.
"That was beautiful!" she whispered when he had finished the song. At the sound of her voice he spun around, almost falling of the piano bench in the process.
For a moment she thought he was going to yell at her, but all he did was stare. She became nervous and started fidgeting with her hands.
Finally he spoke. "What are you doing here?" he asked her quietly. She was surprised by his gentleness. "I..." she started but didn't know how to continue. She pushed herself away from the doorway and carefully walked over to him. "I missed you!"
House looked at her, not knowing what to say or do. He was angry with her for figuring out where he had gone and the same time he was happy that she did. 'Maybe she came here because she ... no, don't get your hopes up, you'll only get hurt again.' he thought.
She watched him, afraid to say anything else. When he didn't she figured she was going to do all the talking.
"I'm sorry Greg!" she said and noticed the use of his first name had an effect on him. He looked up, his eyes locking with hers. "Why?" he asked. "For not telling you about Lucas." He cringed when he heard that name, but she continued. "For not visiting you in Mayfield." He cringed again at the mention of the mental institution. "It's okay," he interrupted her. "I probably would've stayed away too if the situation was reversed." She laughed at this and that made him smile. She walked to the other site of the piano bench and sat down next to him.
"Play something?" she asked. He nodded and started playing. She closed her eyes and put her head on his shoulder. He looked down on her but kept playing.
"House?" she asked after listening to the music for a while. "Yeah?" he whispered, eyes closed as he listened to what he was playing. "I'm sorry for not telling you that I love you." He stopped playing and turned to look at her. "What about Lucas?" he asked her quietly. "He's gone." she simply said. He just nodded his head and resumed playing. After a while he said. "We're going to be okay."
She smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder again. "Yeah, we are."
"I love you." he whispered and she smiled up at him.
From the door, Blythe and Rachel stared at the couple sitting at the piano. Everything was going to be just fine.