We Belong Together
Helloooooo everyone! As per the many requests I received, this is the sequel to 'Dear Ash'. I thought for a long time about how to write this. I had a lot of different ideas. I hope you like this one that I settled on. Of course, with the introduction of Gary things with be stirred up a little bit, but don't worry, this story is an AAMRN. :) You didn't really think I'd make it easy for them did you? That's not my style. Haha!
Before I let you all get to the story, I just wanted to say thanks a bunch to everyone who reviewed 'Dear Ash', without whom this follow-up wouldn't exist. Have a great Christmas and New Year everyone. :)
It was Christmas Eve, and as I rose from under my covers I felt the chilly air wrap itself around my body. Shivering, I pulled my dressing gown around myself and stepped over to the window. The light that greeted me when I pulled the curtains open was brilliant. I squeezed my eyes shut as they adjusted to it, and when they finally did I was delighted to see the ground covered in thick, white snow.
It didn't snow in Cerulean every winter, but when it did, it was dazzling, one of the prettiest sights I had ever seen, even in all of my travels. I had fond memories of the snow, of throwing snowballs at my sisters, messing up their hair – they would get so angry – and playing for hours on end with my dad. I sighed. This time of year was when I missed my parents the most. I felt sad that I was missing out on so much time with them, time I could never get back. I wanted to talk to them, to ask their advice on things and feel protected their general guidance. I loved my sisters but I was so different from them.
"You okay, Misty?" a gentle voice called, and with a small smile I turned around and took the few steps back to the bed.
"It's snowing," I stated, but he only cocked his head to the side cutely. I knew there was no way to fool him, but I often tried, just in case I got away with it one day.
"I was just thinking about my parents… I always miss them the most at Christmas," I admitted.
I don't know why I was ashamed to admit it. Perhaps I was just ashamed to admit that I felt everything just as much as everyone else, even if I tried to cover that up with courage and strength. If there was one person who understood, it was him. He leant forward and grabbed my hand, and pulled me over to him until I found my place in his embrace.
"I love you, Misty."
"I love you too, Gary."
One of the best things about Christmas was that all the Gyms were closed for a few days. That meant that despite having to do my normal chores – cleaning the pool and tanks, feeding the Pokemon, and so on – I had some free time on my hands. I was quite proud of myself actually, as I had managed to get all of my paperwork completed and my Christmas shopping done, so that meant no all-nighters finishing work to have it to the League by their Christmas Eve deadline, and no trips to the shops to look desperately for that last present. Nope, this year I was organised.
I wished that Gary was so fortunate – for he still had to work, even on Christmas Eve. Research stops for nothing, and I knew his job at the moment was super important, so I tried not to look too disappointed when he came through the doorway, bag packed, ready to go.
See, Gary had been in Cerulean for the past four months researching various Water Pokemon in their natural habitat. It was fascinating research, and I loved hearing all about his findings. He truly was an incredible mind, just like his Grandfather.
"I've gotta go," he smiled sheepishly. I made a sad face, then broke into a smile.
"I know, I'll miss you," I said, even though he would only be away for eight hours. "Guess what though – I'm going to cook an awesome dinner!"
My eyes narrowed at his face – he actually looked afraid.
"What is that look for?" I demanded playfully, my hands flying to my hips.
"Um…nothing!" he knew better than to complain about my cooking ability, even though I admit, I am a terrible cook. But today was going to be different!
"I'll see you tonight," he leaned forward and kissed me, and I never wanted him to let go, but he had to.
He was out the door a few moments later, with that inspired, researcher look he got in his eyes. I admired that he was so passionate about it. It was one of the many things I loved about him…
I went about my chores and then spent a bit of time with my Pokemon. I was in the middle of playing a game of 'fetch' with my vivacious little Corsola when the doorbell rang. I glanced up, a bit confused and sort of annoyed. Who could that be? Surely all the trainers knew that the Gyms were closed. There was even a sign on the front door! Only one way to find out, I thought, so I apologised to Corsola, who scampered off to play with Goldeen, and made my way through the Gym to the front door. The doorbell had rung again in the meantime. I grabbed the handle and pulled the door open, letting in a lot of freezing cold air.
"I'm sorry we're-"
I couldn't finish that sentence. Not only did it not apply to my visitor but I just couldn't speak. It was like the ability just left me. My chest tightened, my stomach did a sickening flip-flop, my heart felt like it had stopped.
It was Ash. Ash Ketchum. He was dressed in a thick snow jacket and boots. His beaten hat sat atop his head. Pikachu sat on his shoulder. And in his hand, he held a piece of paper that looked awfully familiar.
It was my letter.
"Hi Misty…" he spoke. I couldn't read his expression, but I was too caught off guard to do anything at that point.
"Pikachu-pi!" Pikachu jumped from his shoulder and into my arms.
"…Hey, Pikachu," I looked down at the little electric mouse, petting him, and then glanced back up at Ash.
"Hi, Ash."
His expression softened, and a few moments of silence passed between us. I still had not recovered my full ability to speak, and I figured – he was turning up at my door with my love letter in hand, so he should be the one to speak first. It seemed fair anyway.
"I…got your letter."
"I can see that," my heart and head were starting to recover slowly. I realised that he was standing in the open door, and it was freezing. Shivering, I let Pikachu climb atop my shoulders and indicated for Ash to come inside. He did, almost cautiously. I could tell he was scared, nervous, and so was I. I had not heard of him or seen him since the day he had kissed me, and then left me.
"Do you want a hot chocolate?" I asked out of the blue, but I had to find something to fill the silence with, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be anything to do with that letter. At least I could buy a bit of time, stall, gather my thoughts.
"Sure."
"Okay… Pikachu, I'm sure the other Pokemon would love to see you. They're out in the pool."
Pikachu scampered off in that direction, and Ash followed me into the kitchen. He sat at the table while I moved over to the stove, and more tense silence lingered as I made our drinks. My head was spinning as I tried to concentrate on not burning myself with boiling hot milk. I couldn't believe Ash was here, now, after all this time. What were his intentions? I couldn't focus my thoughts, but I couldn't stall anymore either so I turned, walked over to the table and placed our hot chocolates down.
He seemed very quiet, thoughtful, anxious – very unlike the Ash I knew. Or, thought I knew. I wasn't much better, my stomach was lurching uncomfortably and I couldn't focus, so I proceeded to fiddle with my spoon, using it to stab the marshmallow in the cup to a slow and painful death.
"I got this four months ago," he finally spoke, holding up the letter in his hand. I looked at the paper, it looked well worn. I thought of the words that were scribbled across the page, words I had since memorised, a true account of my feelings at the time. Were those feelings the same now? I wasn't sure… I had thought that when I saw him, they would all come flowing back in a flood that would knock me down with its sheer force. But to be honest, I felt nothing. I felt numb, like something was blocking those feelings from surfacing once more. Perhaps that something was the feelings I held for Gary.
"I didn't know what to do…" he admitted, lowering his head. "So I went about my travels, got all of my badges and entered the Isshu League. But…all that time, every day, all I could think of was you…"
I went to intervene, but I realised I had no idea what to say, so I let him continue.
"Then, when I won, I realised…none of the glory or success meant anything without the person I loved most standing next to me…you…"
I felt the all-too-familiar feeling of tears swelling in my eyes, and I glanced down, away from his earnest, intense gaze. They were the most beautiful words he had ever spoken, but they were too late. Four months too late. Now, these words were like torture, stabbing my heart like millions of knives. How ironic, that he had received my letter four months ago – that was right when I started dating Gary. If he had come to me then, things could have been different. Now, everything was complicated.
"I was an idiot for leaving you that day, Mist. I was afraid and unsure and I didn't know what these feelings I was having for you were. Now I know, and I can only hope that you can forgive me…"
His words were followed by an uncomfortable, tense silence. I felt frozen inside, like time had stopped inside of me, and I couldn't move, or think, or feel anything. I was caught, trapped between my feelings for Ash and my feelings for Gary, and unsure about what his sudden admission meant in all of that. I didn't know if I would be able to forgive Ash for what he did to me, how he left me, how he treated me… But I found myself letting down those walls I had built to shut him out, walls that had guards and sentries to look out for him and his honest eyes and handsome face and shoot him down if he came too close. Was I stupid to believe that I could completely shut him out of my life?
Then I thought of Gary, the way he had found me, a total mess. He was busy, he didn't have to help me, he barely knew me, but he did anyway. Many people thought Gary Oak was a snide, egocentric snob, but he was just misunderstood. Gary had a heart of gold, and he had saved me that day he found me at the beach, crying like an idiot on that cold day in September when I'd realised Ash wasn't coming back for me. He took me home, he wrapped me in a blanket and made me a hot drink. Then he stayed with me, for hours, until I would tell him what was wrong. I don't know many other people who would do that for a practical stranger.
Things had changed. My life had changed. And for the first time in a long time, Ash was not part of it…
"Ash…" I uttered into the piercing silence. "You're too late."
He blinked a few times, completely confused, as though he was wondering why I hadn't fallen into his arms and accepted his apology and told him we'd live happily ever after.
"Too late…?" he whispered. "What…?"
I stood, ignoring his question, or stalling on it for now. How did I tell Ash that I was dating Gary? There was no easy way to say it, I realised moments later when he once again asked me what I meant. His features were painted with confusion, and slightly edged with apprehension, like he was bracing himself but didn't have a clue what for.
"I have been dating someone Ash," I uttered quietly, as if saying it quietly would make it more bearable to him somehow.
It didn't.
I actually felt his heart break; his features twisted from confusion to shock to something like denial.
"Oh…" was all he said.
"I am dating Gary Oak."
That was the straw that broke the Camerupt's back. He rose from his seat.
"What?" he asked, as though he actually hadn't heard me right the first time.
I wasn't repeating it.
"Gary Oak?" he now confirmed. "Misty…Gary Oak is not the right man for you. He is a player. He's just using you!"
As each word blurted from Ash's mouth, I grew more and more angry and upset.
"Who are you to tell me who is the right person for me, Ash Ketchum?" I shrieked suddenly, knocking him off-balance a little.
"You left me, Ash! You just left, and you didn't even come back when I sent you that letter, pouring my heart out to you! I was a mess! An absolute, freakin mess! If it weren't for Gary, I'd probably still be crying over you. That's right, I cried for you, every day! Me! How ridiculous!" I stepped forward, I was on a roll, and I was not stopping.
"What did you expect me to do, Ash? Sit around and wait for you? For how long? Until you decided I was important enough for you to come back for? Two months nearly killed me. I couldn't bear another second of wondering if you got the letter, wondering if you were thinking about me, wondering if you left because I just wasn't good enough for you, or wondering what you thought of every stupid freaking word in that stupid letter! Gary is an amazing person Ash, so don't you dare say he's not right for me. You have no one to blame but yourself, for being so thoughtless and stupid, and now, you lose, because I've already given my heart to someone else."
Throughout my tirade, tears had spilled from my eyes, my cheeks were growing hotter and hotter, and I was growing more and more angry and tired and fed up with the whole situation. I took a second to breathe in a few gasps of air. Damn him for making my life so suddenly difficult.
"You're too late, Ash," I breathed in finality. "You're just too late."
Ash actually looked…defeated. His eyes were downcast, lost in the maze of words that had just spilled from my mouth. As I analysed his expression with hesitation, I realised, I could actually see his heart breaking. His eyes were desperate pools of unashamed misery, like I had taken his worst nightmare and made it come true. Perhaps I had. I wanted desperately to fall into his arms, to tell him how much I loved and missed him and wanted him to stay with me forever, but I couldn't do that. My feelings were strewn everywhere, like clothes around a messy girl's room. I had to tidy them up before I could act upon anything.
"I'm sorry, Misty…" he uttered quietly, shuffling his feet nervously. I knew he was sorry, but that didn't change anything now.
"Me too," I said, biting my lip to contain myself; bursting into tears was not going to help now.
He stood there for a few more moments as an uncomfortable silence wafted over us. There was nothing else to say, and we both knew it. He left without another word, not in anger, not in remorse, just…neutral, or numb, maybe.
I fell onto my kitchen chair, the incredulity of the conversation washing over me forcefully. While Ash had been there I'd felt like I was looking on to our conversation, like I wasn't really part of it because my mind was not ready for it. Now, I analysed every word, every expression, every part of the conversation that for six months, I had wondered about, dreamt about and contemplated every second of every day in the back of my mind. Now, it was done. And I had no idea how I felt about it.
Gary came home later that night, and for him, I put on a brave, happy face. I wasn't ready to tell him about Ash's visit. I listened intently as he spoke of today's findings, which were so interesting I lost myself in his words for a while. It was a nice escape, but sure enough, all of my other problems came rushing back to the surface as he asked me how my day was.
"Busy…you know…the usual stuff," I lied. Today certainly hadn't been a normal day at the Cerulean Gym…
I awoke on Christmas Day with a promise to myself that I would have an amazing day with Gary, the man I loved. I had barely slept all night, instead lying awake thinking about Ash and Gary and Ash and Gary… It was like a vicious circle, and one which I was trapped within.
"Morning beautiful," Gary opened his eyes and smiled into mine. "Merry Christmas."
I beamed, kissing him and falling into his arms. How could I deny that I felt so right here? How could one person make me question a relationship that I felt so strongly about? And stupidly, he was the one person who had caused all of this to begin with…
Gary gave me a bracelet for Christmas. It was white gold and encrusted with blue sapphires and diamonds. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I cried when he put it on me, and he immediately asked me what was wrong, but I brushed my tears off as being overwhelmed by his present. Of course, I was. I had never been given something so beautiful. But I couldn't help but think that I should be exchanging presents with Ash…
Gary and I were to go to Daisy's house for lunch with she and her fiancé, Tracey, and my two other sisters and their boyfriends. I was looking forward to us being all together, it was rare that we were all in the same place at the same time these days, so I tried to concentrate on that, and not any of the other stuff that was bogging my mind down like it were a tonne of bricks. I succeeded for a while in keeping any of those thoughts out of my head. But after we had eaten Gary pulled me aside.
"Misty? What's going on? You have been distant all day. Is everything alright…?" he was concerned, and I was touched by that. He really knew me so well… I thought I'd been hiding my afflictions pretty well, nobody else had noticed, but Gary had seen me in my worst moments, and he hadn't missed a beat on this one. Obviously my plan to avoid all thoughts about Ash had failed. He was like an infectious disease that had taken control of my mind and heart and would not let go. I couldn't stop thinking about him, about his broken-hearted eyes, his sincere apology, the way he drew me in with just one smile or touch or a few simple words.
No, I definitely was not winning the war against Ash Ketchum…
I sat down on the couch in Daisy's formal lounge. The décor was all yellow and pink, very her… Gary sat beside me. Exhausted by the metal baggage I was carrying, I put my head in my hands. I didn't have the strength to lie to Gary, and there was only one other option. It was time he knew…
"Ash came back," I stated simply.
"He did? When?" I could hear the fear in Gary voice, despite his efforts to be calm about it. I couldn't blame him.
"Yesterday."
"Why didn't you tell me, Misty?" he wasn't angry, just confused.
"I don't know… I didn't know what to do…"
"Misty," he pulled on my arm gently, forcing me to look at him. "What happened?"
"He apologised…and he told me that he…loves me, and he said he wants me back…" I stumbled on the words, saying it aloud it must have sounded like torture to Gary.
"Oh…" he uttered uncomfortably. I could feel the uneasiness emanating from him as he said, "and…what did you say?"
"I said…that he was too late, and that I was in love with you," I spoke confidently, as though there was no other answer I could possibly have given.
Gary remained tense, unsure. He nodded, but he looked distracted, like a million thoughts were screaming at him from inside. I knew I had to reassure him that he was the one for me, that no one could possibly ever replace him, but I didn't know if I was so sure of that myself… I thought maybe if I spoke the words aloud, they would come to life, and I would realise that there was no other option.
"I love you, Gary. You and only you, and nothing can change that now, not even him…"
He leant forward and kissed me softly. I leant into him, wanting to feel nothing more than his passion and love and strength. When he pulled away he gazed into my eyes with those brilliant green orbs of his.
"I love you back," he said with a wink.
I wanted to feel nothing else but him. But as I leaned into his arms, the only thing I could think of, was Ash…
Christmas passed, and so did the days following, and I tried to go on with my life as it was. The Gym re-opened and the constant flow of trainers kept me busy, kept my mind off of everything that was troubling me. But every time I had a moment of silence, he would invade my mind. It was a war in my head, and as much as I hated myself for it, Ash was winning. No matter how much I told myself not to think about him, I was haunted by the mere thought of him. Like a ghost he followed me everywhere I went, invaded every thought, every moment, everything I did. All I could think was that if I chose it, he could be mine, and I could be his. It was what I had always wanted. Ok, he had hurt me, but he was a good person, and he deserved a second chance…
Then I would realise what I was thinking, and I would mentally slap myself. How could I think of leaving Gary? He was smart, good looking, mature, interesting… He had direction and purpose, he loved me and wanted to protect me every day of my life. He was the perfect guy, in a lot of respects, and I really, truly loved him, and owed him a lot.
That was when I realised…Gary was a wonderful, wonderful man. But he wasn't Ash. And I what I wanted, was Ash…
As I became aware that my heart was telling me what I didn't want to hear, and realised it wasn't going to change its mind, I became increasingly distant around Gary. I couldn't help it, and though I tried to stop it, I just couldn't… Being around him hurt me…because I knew that I was eventually going to hurt him.
It was the morning of New Years Eve when Gary finally called me on my distant behaviour. I was making breakfast, trying very hard not to burn the pancakes, when the question came.
"You can't stop thinking about Ash, can you?"
I turned, he gazed at me knowingly, like he had already made up his mind about me, like he had given up on me. My heart lurched. I could see the end of our relationship in his eyes.
"Gary…" was all I could utter. Tears sprang to my eyes. I knew this was the end, but I wanted to hold on to him. I didn't want to leave the safety of our relationship. I truly loved Gary, and I loved everything about the way he made me feel, safe and protected and loved. There was only one thing missing, and that was the knowing that he was the person I was meant to be with. That position belonged only to one person, and that person had always been Ash. If I was ever going to be happy, I had to be selfish, and I had to let Gary go…
He stepped closer to me and reached out to wipe a tear from my eye.
"I knew I wouldn't stand a chance against him," he said with a sad smile.
"I'm so sorry…" I choked through the tears that would not stop. He took my hand in his and squeezed it compassionately.
"It's okay. You don't need to feel bad. I know, you can't stop feeling the way you do about him. And although I'll miss you like crazy, I just want you to be happy, because you're a good person, and you deserve it."
I took in a few deep breaths as I took in his beautiful words. His voice had a way of calming me, just like it had that day he had found me in tears over Ash leaving me.
"I never wanted to hurt you in the process," I said, and it was the complete and utter truth. "I really do love you, Gary."
"I know," he smiled that brilliant smile of his. He took me in his arms then, and held me for a long time. I could have stayed there forever, but he had to pull away, and I had to let go.
"I hope Ash knows how lucky he is," he winked at me, but I could see the darkness in his eyes – deep down, this was tearing him up. That knowing attacked my heart, I felt like little knives were stabbing it simultaneously. Guilt stung me like a Beedrill. I felt so broken I could barely stand up.
"Goodbye, Misty."
He walked out of the door, and just like that, our relationship was over. It was harder on me than I thought, even though I knew it was the only way. It must have been possible to love two people at the same time, because I had no doubt that I loved Gary, and I loved Ash. I just knew in my heart that Ash was the one… But that didn't make it any easier to leave Gary, who was so completely unselfish that he would let me go just so I could be happy.
I turned, having forgotten about the fact that I was cooking. The pancake was well and truly burnt. I felt sorrow grip me, and I broke down in tears.
It took a long time, a couple of hours perhaps, before I was able to pick myself up and face the world again. I knew there was only one thing to do…and so I cleaned myself up, got in the car, and started off to Pallet Town.
I rang the doorbell and waited. My stomach was tied in knots. What if he wasn't there? What if he had set out again already? What if he didn't want me after all? What if, what if, what if…
It took a long time before I heard the patter of footsteps on the other side of the door. My heart lurched as the door swung open.
"Ash," I breathed, taking in his shocked expression. He was dressed in sweatpants and a grey t-shirt that stood out against his tanned skin. His hair was wild, and his eyes were…confused.
"Misty?" he asked, as though he wasn't sure if I was really there.
One moment I was on the doorstep, and the next I was in his arms.
He wrapped his strong arms around me, and I knew for certain that I was in the place where I was meant to be – with him, with Ash. There wasn't any specific reason why. It wasn't like that with him and me. It was just a feeling that I was where I belonged.
And I belonged with Ash Ketchum.
The End