A/N :
Okay. So. This is my SECOND one shot on fanfiction. I wrote it to thank all of those who read and reviewed so sweetly on my FIRST one shot called The East Wing (go read it. tell me what you think) And, this actually turned into a THREE shot. Because it ended up being 25 pages long on Word Processor.
So, in order to attempt to keep your attention, I split it up :) Very much like, The East Wing, this three shot is based along the lines of a GG5 I have going in my mind to keep me entertained until March. Which actually I'm writing THAT story, and the second chapter will be up soon (it's called A Record of Covert Operations by Zachary Goode - that's the long name). Things should be pretty self explanatory. You shouldn't have to do much thinking cause I try to repeat info often. But, if you're completely confused and you just really have an urge to know, PM me, and I'll explain just for you. :)
Okay. Enough of the info. Disclaimer: It must be nice to be Ally Carter. It really stinks that I'm not.
I hope you enjoy a little piece I like to call, Roses are Red.
Tell me what you think :D
Alright.
Just for the record. The only thing that got me out the door that day and started this whole big mess was the words of a one Elizabeth Sutton:
"Come on, Cammie, you have to go" she pleaded.
Her soft brown eyes sparkled, the Sunday sunlight from the window reflecting off of them just right. My view of her pout from my pillow practically broke me in half and forced me to survey my two other best friends and second guess my decision to stay inside the walls of Gallagher Academy that day.
Bex stood firmly next to the door. Arms crossed and a concerned smudge on her face.
Macey sat on the end of my bed, leaning across to place her delicate head on the wall beside me. She slouched and sighed, staring at me in a position that would look unattractive on every other girl in the world. But, of course, not her. And, her perfection, as always, made me cringe and was only one of the reasons I hid my face once again under my covers.
The other main reasons were the following:
1) I had a very bad feeling about giving into their requests
and 2) my best friends' convincing and ability to yank me out of bed against my will…
was making it hard notto give in.
"Why?" I muttered lifelessly to the cotton sheets, guilt rising into my stomach.
The previous eight minutes had been spent in the longest conversation I had kept up with my roommates in the past few weeks. And, that's sad. Believe me. Because all it consisted of was their attempt at persuading me to get up from my bed and actually face the world.
To do something I was quite sure I wasn't ready to do yet.
Go back out into Roseville.
"Because, you haven't been yourself."
Bex made her point frank and short. But, my trained ears could hear the pain in them. It was something I experienced with Macey long ago. To have your best friend there but not really there.
It's like you had all the equipment.
But, you couldn't make the connection.
And, things weren't the same. They were far from the same.
And, considering I had been gone for 10 months.
Considering I had been perched on the edge of death in a comatose state for 6 of those months.
Considering that things as traumatic as what had happened with the Circle that I don't care to list at this moment due to the raw nerves still exposed around the subject, can shake anyone up. Badly.
Bex hit the nail on the head.
Things were definitely not the same.
"And, a class trip to Roseville is going to change that?" I asked, glancing back up at my friends with a numbness that had haunted me ever since my return. There was no fire, no passion behind anything I did anymore. It was as if I'd seen too much fire. And, I'd lost all the life in me because of it.
The room fell silent as if a long held hope had just been lost.
My three best friends exchanged a look.
"You need to get out." Mace stated practically while I met with her icy blue eyes as she forced the smile no one else could, "You need to have fun."
I sighed heavily and tried my best to see the world as I saw it before the Circle. To see my best friends as my best friends again and not just as my roommates who didn't have the clearance level to know what happened, or rather didn't have a witness who was willing to relive it just yet.
And, that's when Liz worked her magic.
"Pretty please, Cam"
Her face was dressed in pure sadness. A sadness that begged me to grant the little blonde's wishes and once again, be myself. My face twitched in apology.
"Cammie," Bex interrupted Liz's silent plead and laid it down for me straight.
"I understand. Things happened. We don't have to talk about it," she waved away the nightmares that were living still in my mind ever since I woke up like it was that easy.
Which I wished with all my heart that it was.
"But, you lived through all this. So, it's time for you to live.
And, Roseville isthe best we've got right now"
And, with that there was no more argument. I forced a soft smile at my best friends' persistent effort to nurse me back to health, and climbed out of bed with all the strength I could muster.
And, so, that was that.
Bex did my hair.
Macey did my make-up and picked out my clothes.
And, Liz calculated all the possible options we could take to suit the scientific definition of the phrase "have fun" during the Gallagher Academy trip to town; including the number of movies out, their world wide ratings and the percentage in our favor that we had of enjoying them as well as a record of all popularly approved restaurants and eateries and the amount of time it would take us to get our food depending on the time of arrival.
And, apparently, after a 10 minute data report, Liz assured us all that the stats were in our favor and that if no alien invasions, or rogue operations took place within the sleepy town of Roseville, Virginia during our visit, we would, indeed, "have a blast".
This assurance of course led Macey to roll her eyes as if Liz was over calculating.
Which she probably was.
And, that "fun" would just simply happen.
And, that I didn't have to worry about a thing.
But, unfortunately, both were wrong.
Because of the following:
a) Liz forgot to calculate the odds of running into ruminants of the past that would decrease the fun possible to be had in one particular afternoon
and
b) Macey didn't factor in the ingredient of fate and how much fate could really really stress a girl out and send her already messed up mind into pure and utter…
chaos.
making it, of course, impossible for fun to just simply…happen.
And, despite the fact that I was actually kind of having fun.
Despite the fact that Liz had gotten me to laugh – an apparently very difficult task since I came home- 4 total times, 2 of those times by accidently falling into a fountain…consecutively.
Despite the fact that Bex had brought up almost every possible conversation she knew would entertain me ( including the rumor flying around that Mr. Smith had undermined a prostitution ring in Russia that led to the discovery of an clandestine nuclear weapon development in eastern Siberia all over the summer I was gone…)
The slight miscalculations of my friends, and some of the most exceptional young women in the world – who, trust me, don't make miscalculations that often, not even slight ones – hindered the entire trip and with the sound of my name, things took a turn for not necessarily the worst.
But, definitely for the confusing.
"Cammie….?"
A voice interrupted Macey's one sided conversation over how if she didn't come in contact with one decent guy during her father's campaign tour for slot as Governor of Virginia this coming summer she was going to seriously "kill herself and take someone with her", which, though said in a tone very much like any other teenage girl's, was definitely was a possibility considering she had caught up to the Senior class in P&E.
And, with a glance over the shoulder, Macey stopped talking and any fun that had generated in the last three hours and thirty minutes, had flew out the window and was replaced with fear, or surprise, or confusion.
"Oh my…" Liz muttered what we were all thinking as a boy, who just turned the corner began to jog to our location, his familiar blue eyes fixed on me.
It had been a long time since I had seen Josh Abrams.
And, to tell you the truth I had almost forgotten about him.
Shocking, right?
Yeah. I was shocked too.
But, I guess that's what ancient terrorist groups, a little over two years, and extremely dreamy mysterious spy boys could do to you.
"Cammie Morgan?"
I turned around with more shame than I thought ever possible. Because, after 10 months of being outwitted, the spy in my couldn't take another blow.
And, in this circumstance, I would have to. Because, once again.
I was completely unprepared.
Forcing a smile up, I forced butterflies down as I locked my focus with his.
"Josh. Wow." I sighed then turned to send a panicked look to my friends who stood beside me.
And, in return I expected some help out of the current crisis at hand.
I didn't want to be here.
But, all I got was "Catch up with you later, Cams," ringing from Bex's mouth as she and the others continued their route to the pizza parlor and left me alone.
They bailed.
And, left me to fend for myself.
With Josh.
And, after all this time, he still made me uneasy. Things were still awkward.
And, I was still clueless on how to handle it.
"It's been awhile," He smiled as he stepped closer to me, breathing into his hands to warm them up in the early March frost. I nodded then swallowed.
"I…Uh…What were you doing?"
He looked at me as if he was sorry he didn't explain himself sooner.
"Oh! I was just taking a walk." He said, his voice as sweet as the ice cream served in the back of his father's pharmacy. And, as I thought about it, those memories seemed almost like distant dreams.
"Getting some air," he finished, and it didn't take a trained operative to see that something was deeply bothering Josh Abrams.
His pulse was racing. His hands were shaking far too much despite the cold. And his breathing held itself almost as if he let his air out, the whole world would collapse.
I wanted to ask what was wrong. I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I was suddenly distracted. By a figure on the edge of the sidewalk across the road.
A man it seemed.
He had been strolling through the square earlier.
And, when I glanced at the window into Anderson's Accessories directly behind Josh, the figure broke his interest with the tools in the hardware store's windows far too quickly before retreating around the corner. This hesitation forced Josh to continue the conversation.
"What about you? Are you out with your school?"
Josh's ever-soft voice shook me from my paranoia.
My breathing hitched as I watched my visual on the man disappear.
I needed to go after him.
I needed to catch up with my friends. I needed to tell them.
I needed to find out if something was going on.
I needed to get back to Gallagher.
But, I was interrupted again.
"Cammie? Are you alright?"
"What?" I flinched, giving up, hearing Bex's voice in my mind.
"Relax, Cam."
I knew my friends weren't far from my location. I knew they were tailing me, watching me
. I could feel it. But, I could also sense something else.
Someone else was there.
Someone else was watching me.
And, the feeling was so familiar that I had to believe that I had encountered it before.
But, I couldn't put my finger on it. It was as if my mind wouldn't let me remember for a reason.
"It's probably just your imagination."
Very rarely would my spies-in-training roommates ever advise me to do something so against what any good spy should do: doubt their instincts and forget a possible threat.
But, lately. I had needed to. Just to keep from going insane.
Because, I admit. This wasn't the first time I had felt someone watching me. Someone after me.
And, because I had felt it for so long, my friends considered it was post-traumatic-stress.
That I was just losing it.
"Yeah, I'm okay," I nodded to Josh. He smiled and suddenly the world was light again.
And, I saw it as he did. Care free. Beautiful.
"Oh. Okay. Good." Josh swept his light brown hair away from his face as he grinned, then surveyed me ponderously.
"You must be cold."
And, when I thought about it. I hadn't brought a coat. And, I was cold.
Freezing, actually.
"Here take my coat." Josh proceeded to take off his red winter jacket and offer it to me.
"Oh no." I stopped him feeling a pang in my stomach, "I couldn't."
I half expected the boy in front of me to cock his head, raise his eyebrows and smirk.
I half expected him to show me that he knew I was freezing despite my skilled attempts to hide it and I half expected myself to hate the fact that he knew it.
I half expected him to simply put the jacket on me, not taking no for an answer.
I half expected him to place his forehead on mine for extra warmth, dip me, despite the light bustle of shoppers around us, and kiss me in front of all of them.
But, when Josh did none of those things.
I was surprised to find myself disappointed.
"Are you sure?" Josh questioned his offer, obviously conflicted as to impose on an action that would have only been acceptable the fall of my sophomore year. His eyes glistened with the guilt that he was warm and I wasn't, and as sweet as his face was, I easily shook my head and lied.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Alright…" He smiled his perfect smile a little bit, "But, if you get frost bite, I'm going to have to insist you get everything you need from the Pharmacy for free."
It was sweet. And, I wondered for a second why I wasn't swooning like I used to around him.
"Um…" He hesitated after standing awkwardly for a good twelve in a half seconds,
"You want to join me?"
He motioned down the path alongside the shops off the town square that he had been making his way down only moments earlier.
I thought for a second.
Maybe this would be fun.
Maybe this could bring back old memories, my old world.
Maybe this could relieve my best friends' stress over me.
Maybe this would be good for me.
And, so I smiled to my first boyfriend, my first crush, my first kiss, and said:
"Sure."
And we continued in silence.
And that's when I saw another figure.
A shadow that moved as we did, almost. I searched desperately for a reflective surface to look behind me at the right angle, in the right place, but all I caught was the movement of a man slowing with the crowd as he decided to move forward toward the gazebo.
For some reason I felt like I knew that shadow, and that shadow knew me.
I felt like if that shadow reallywanted to be hidden, it wouldn't change its pace clearly without motivation, and fight against the grain of the quick moving crowd, making him easily noticed.
But, I didn't have much time to think about it because Josh started once again to make conversation.
"So, your friends said you were sick for awhile?"
Now, this caught my attention.
"Really?"
He looked at me and smiled faintly then nodded.
"They came to town sometime in October, and they said you couldn't come to town because you had been pretty sick lately."
I didn't know how Josh had come into contact with my friends.
I didn't know why he had felt inclined to ask about me.
I didn't know what this meant, if Josh still liked me.
And, noting the butterflies still in my stomach and how touched I was that
he cared and showed me that he cared, I didn't know if I still liked Josh.
But, I knew that he had gotten pretty close to the truth.
Yet, he didn't know the whole truth.
And, that was the case with a lot of things.
"I got a really bad case of the flu for awhile," I lied once again to Josh's blue eyes smoothly and shrugged as if it the incident was nothing. Nothing compared to say…a coma.
"Are you feeling better?"
I smiled at his straight forward courtesy. He had nothing to hide.
And, to an extent, that was refreshing.
"I am," I said though I wasn't sure if I was lying or not this time.
"Thanks."
The next block passed in silence with only the sounds of our breath breaking through the icy air to fill the void. In that short block, a lot of thoughts passed through my mind.
And, the one that stood out the most was the one that, without permission,
came out of my mouth.
"How's DeeDee?"
With those words, I saw Josh's light face grow dark and the torturing look in his eyes from before reveal themselves. I had hit a soft spot.
"Uh…" He reached his arm up and rubbed his neck nervously as he stopped with me at the corner of the street.
He stood uneasily showing no early education in the detailed art of body language or any evidence of reading the first volume of The Science of Bodily Defense covering vulnerable circumstances such as this one. Both incorporated in the 7th grade Gallagher curriculum.
In a way, unlike I had ever seen anyone I knew in my life at this point, he was fully exposed.
And, he didn't make any effective effort to fix it, except avert his eyes to the flower stand about 5 yards away.
Maybe it was because nothing was hidden that I started getting the warmth in my stomach I used to feel with him. Maybe it was because he was easily understandable and that was something I had been deprived of for a long long time.
Maybe it was because he was here,
and he talked to me,
and was sweet to me, that I started to feelsomething again.
"You don't have to answer-"
I said that. But, I found that I really wished he would answer. And, in my favor.
"No. No." Josh looked to me and inched a grin onto his face, "It's fine. It's just we sort of had a rough break up awhile back."
"Oh, I didn't mean to bring it up…" I rushed out, suddenly panicking as if making Josh, an innocent boy, feel uncomfortable was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do. And, really, it was.
"It's okay. She just…didn't think I was into the relationship I guess…"
It took a lot of strength in me to voice what I said next for a couple reasons:
a) Josh's sweet complexion was started to make me nervous again
b) The man I had seen before swept past the crowd on the sidewalk in front of us causing me to shake off the chills running down my spine again and convince myself that it was nothing – a real threat wouldn't be so carless and obviously seen. Right?
c) I wasn't exactly sure whether I wanted to know the answer and what consequences it would call on
"Were you?"
My breath caught up in my throat as Josh looked up at me and started at me intently. He focused his eyes on mine and half-smiled.
But, before he could answer, Liz's voice emerged from the pizza parlor across the street, four doors down.
"Cammie!" She called out in her light voice, "The van is leaving in ten minutes" And, with her tone of voice, I could tell she was just holding back tell me the exact time I had left with Josh, down to the nanosecond.
Glancing at the petite girl I slightly nodded, then turned back to Josh who looked like he suddenly realized that sophomore year was a verylong time ago. And, he had either in that instant just remembered all of the lies I told him, the secrets I kept from him, or he had suddenly forgiven all of it.
Either way, he walked a couple feet, reached into his pocket, flipped a couple quarters to the lady behind the old fashion flower stand and soon was back in front of me with a white daisy in hand.
"What's this for?" I asked dumbly silently wishing Macey could tell me what to think, what to say, how to feel. Because right now, as I looked at the flower out stretched to me.
I didn't know what to feel. .
Because, Bex was right.
Things had changed.
"If you come back in town again sometime," He said handing me the daisy.
"Stop by the Pharmacy if you want and we can go get something to eat or something."
At this point in time, I knew Josh Abrams wasn't lying. I knew I didn't have to check his pulse, his breathing intervals. I didn't have to do anything but take the flower and wonder just what he meant by all of this. And, just how I should react, just how I wantedto react.
I wanted to say a lot of things. I wanted to ask a lot of questions.
And, I could of.
In fourteen different languages.
But, all I could get out was:
"Okay."
A small nod.
A small smile.
And, a whole lotof mixed emotions churning inside my stomach as Josh Abrams stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, turned around and left with a smile as sweet as pie and as harmless as a fly.