Open the door, tiger –JM
Sebastian took a deep breath as he read the message. What sort of sick joke was this? It had been over a year since Jim had died and in that time Sebastian had struggled to keep it together. He had, of course, in the end. He was strong enough not to completely fall apart, even if for the first month he did cry himself to sleep every night. He had pulled himself together, he had kept the strong image when out there. He had kept Jim's empire going. He had all but taken Jim's place. He worked in Jim's name. And now someone dared make this joke to him. Obviously they didn't know who they were dealing with.
Sebby, I know you're in there, open the door –JM
Jim was the only person who had ever called him tiger or Sebby. Jim was the only person who could get away with it. Anyone else he would at very least punch. From Jim it was somewhat endearing, he could even go as far as saying he liked it. But of course people could find that out. If someone had Jim's phone – and of course someone had Jim's phone because this was coming from his number – it wouldn't be hard to find out that Jim called him those things. Who though? Who would be masochistic enough to want to mess with Sebastian Moran.
For god's sake do I have to break the door down? –JM
Sebastian finally took notice of what the texts were saying. Jim, no, not Jim, whoever had Jim's phone was outside the door, waiting for him. Sebastian pocketed his phone, moving to grab his nearest hand gun and shirt. He had been sitting without a top on and he just pulled on the dark blue shirt on without bothering to undo it. When he opened the front door he had the gun pointed instantly, speaking without actually looking.
"Just a warning, I will make you beg for something as peaceful as death," he muttered bitterly. Once the words were actually out, he looked and saw. Jim looked almost exactly the same as the last time he saw him. The same perfect Westwood suit, the same short height, the same thin look, the same dark hair, dark eyes.
"Now, now, Sebby, is that anyway to greet your boss?" He said, casually, flashing Sebastian a winning smile. Sebastian went quiet, just staring at him, he moved only enough to look him up and down, taking in everything about him, making sure it was really him.
"You fucking bastard," he muttered, eventually, dropping the gun and opting to punch him, hard in the face again. The force caused Jim to fall back slightly, grabbing the door frame was the only thing that stopped him from hitting the ground. His hand flew to his face, rubbing the now throbbing area gently, he rolled his eyes and laughed slightly.
"I'm going to accept that I deserved that," he said, his tone not sorry at all.
Sebastian glared at him, "How very big of you," he told him. "You died. You fucking well left me thinking you were dead. You knew how I felt. You knew I would've done anything for you. I fucking well would've done anything."
"Careful, Sebastian, you're getting sentimental," Jim said, carefully, but now there was a hint of regret in his voice.
"Yeah," Sebastian almost laughed. "Yeah, I am. And I'm not going to apologise for that, I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry that I fell in love with you, I'm just sorry that you're such a heartless fucking bastard that you-"
"I did it for you," Jim cut in. "I know you're not going to believe that but I did it to protect you."
"It's not your place," Sebastian said bitterly. "I was your fucking bodyguard, I was supposed to be at your side. I was supposed to be keeping you safe. I thought I had failed, I thought I hadn't been able to protect you. I thought you were suicidal and I had missed it. I thought I had let you down," Sebastian didn't like how desperate and needy he sounded, but the time when he first lost Jim had been hard. Jim had been his life, every aspect of his life had centred around Jim, he had been lost and full of guilt and self hatred when he lost that.
"Sebastian-" Jim tried to speak, it was clear he wasn't sure what to say.
"What?" Sebastian asked, still glaring at him. "What the fuck could you possibly have to say now?"
"You need to look after yourself better," Jim said simply. That line. Sebastian had used it on Jim so many times. Jim never used to eat properly or sleep properly. He was underweight and over-worked. Sebastian had never been able to understand how he got into a habit that unhealthy, but after Jim's death, when Sebastian took his place in charge of the empire, Sebastian had done exactly the same. He had thrown himself in the work in order to stop thinking about Jim, he had forced himself to keep working, and often there was just so much to do that sleep or stopping for food was just out of the question. Sebastian had to act as the consulting criminal as well as the head sniper. "You got thin," Jim added, quietly, reaching out and poking his bare rib which was close to being noticable through the skin.
"I had to do your job on top of my own," Sebastian said. His voice was quieter now. The whole time Jim was gone, he had wanted him back, he had wanted to find out that it was all a trick, that it wasn't real. He didn't want to be on his own anymore. And yet now here Jim was and Sebastian didn't know how to feel. A part of him wanted to hit Jim over and over, tell him what losing him had done to him, how he had almost fallen apart, tell him about the drugs habit that he had only just been able to stop from happening, tell him everything. Then there was another part of hi that just wanted to pull Jim close, make sure he was all right and hadn't been hurt in this year. In the end he did neither. He was sure that Jim had answered but he didn't hear it, he was too busy staring at him. He sighed, "Tea?"
"I'd love one," Jim grinned.
Sebastian stepped back to let Jim in. He walked through to the kitchen not saying anything. Jim followed him, staying quiet for a moment, watching at Sebastian filled the kettle and then flicked it on.
"I am sorry, tiger," Jim said. He didn't say those words often and Sebastian knew that when he did say them he was serious. He would never say them because it was the right thing to say, he would only ever say them if he was truly sorry.
"Don't," Sebastian said, turning away from the worktop to look at Jim. He was confused about everything. "Don't apologise. Why?" he looked down, he was struggling not to sound weak and pathetic, but the truth was he felt weak in this situation. When it came to murdering people, to even organising people's murders, he could do it without a second thought, that was easy, but emotional things. He couldn't deal with this. He knew he should be glad, glad Jim was alive, glad he was back, and a part of him was. But another part of him was angry, furious that the small man had left him. Jim had to have known what his 'death' would do to Sebastian. Sebastian knew of course that Jim enjoyed other's pain. Maybe that was why he did it. "Why would you do that?" he asked.
"I told you," Jim said, calmly. "I did it to protect you. I mean that. I needed to clear everything, I needed to get out of the spotlight. I went too far, Sebastian." Sebastian laughed bitterly, and made a murmur in agreement to that. "And so did Sherlock. I got myself in the public eye, I got obsessed with the game. I needed to get the name James Moriarty out of the public, I needed to bring it back into the shadows, and I needed to die in order to do that."
"That makes…" Sebastian trailed off. He had been going to said it made no sense but as he tohuight about it, it made perfect sense, of course it did. "I could've come with you…"
"It wouldn't have worked," Jim told him. His voice was soft now. He wasn't trying the big act anymore. He wasn't the consulting criminal here. Here, with Sebastian he was human. He was human, admitting to his mistakes and facing up to them. "I wanted to take you with me, I did, but I couldn't. You had to believe I was dead in order for it to work. If you thought I was dead, then of course, I must be dead. Because why would I not tell the only man I trusted," Quieter, Jim added, "The only man I loved."
Sebastian swallowed and looked at him for a short moment. He was glad for the kettle boiling so he could use it for an excuse for not knowing how to reply to that. Jim had rarely admitting to loving Sebastian even when there were together. And along with the apology, it was another thing Jim would only say if he really meant it. Sebastian turned, pouring the hot water into the two mugs.
"I still do, you know," Jim told him. "Love you, that is."
Sebastian's hand shook, just slightly, as he poured the water. It wasn't enough to effect was he was doing, but it was enough for him to know that Jim was getting to him. Something, which, of course, he already knew. Jim would never not get to him. "I know," he said, after putting the kettle down, he turned to face Jim again. "I love you, too." he admitted. Part of him wanted to deny it, but even if he had been able to lie to Jim, he couldn;t do it to him. Even after everything Jim's 'death' had done to him, Sebastian couldn't bare the thought of hurting Jim. He was too protective of the little man. "Come here"
Almost nervously, Jim took a step forward. Sebastian wrapped his arms around him, tightly, protectively and just slightly possessively. "Never do that again," he told him. It was partly and order and partly a plea.
"I won't," Jim's voice was a promise as he lightly returned the hug. Trying, weakly to joke, he added, "You know you didn't have to get dressed for my benefit."
Sebastian pulled back and managed a small smile. "I was going to kill you and I like to look good when I'm killing people," he said simply.
"You always look good," Jim countered, instantly. He sighed quietly. "Well…"
Sebastian looked at him in mock offence before realising he should probably take the teabags out of the cups. This tea was going to be rather strong. He took them out, quickly and passed a cup to Jim, who looked at it in disgust before looking back up at Sebastian.
"I meant what I said," Jim said. "I don't appreciate coming back and finding my best man looking…"
"Looking, what?" Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow. Jim stayed quiet and took a sip of the too-strong tea, "Like you?" Sebastian filled in for him.
Jim nodded, "I knew what I was doing wasn't healthy but I was too lost in it, I thought you would be more sensible."
"You guessed wrong," Sebastian said. "I just turned into a talk version of you."
"Well you can to back to being Sebby now, there can only be one of me," Jim said, putting his mug down, unable to force himself to drink anymore of it. "And I need a tiger who doesn't look like a stick."
Sebastian rolled his eyes, "I'm still strong," he smirked, pulling Jim close and lifted him up and over his shoulder. Jim yelped at the sudden movement, hitting his back lightly and playfully, while laughing. Sebastian pulled him back so he could look at him, keeping hold of him. Jim wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist, and looped his arms around his neck.
"Forgive me?" he asked, quietly, seriously.
"As if I would be able to not," He told him.
Jim leaned in and kissed him, gently to begin with before pushing it deeper and more passionate. Sebastian smiled and he kissed him back. Yes, it was certainly good to have Jim back.