A/N: Written for a kmeme prompt, asking for a Shepard who is in love with 20th Century musicals. Characters, setting, and song lyrics aren't mine. Pairing for this story is planned to be Kaidan/F!Shep with Bro!Garrus, though that may change. Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think in the reviews!
"That Jazz"
o.O.o
Shepard was… different after coming back from the dead, Garrus noticed. Not really in a bad way. And she was always a bit quirky, even for a human – humming under her breath during battle, twirling in the corridors of the Normandy when it was late and she didn't think anyone was watching. But she used to keep this sort of thing pretty well hidden. Now it seemed like a floodgate had opened. A floodgate of song and very, very bad dancing.
He noticed the change on his first mission back with her, on the prison ship Purgatory. As they passed the cells on their way to outprocessing, he heard her whisper, "The six merry murderesses of the Purgatory starship jail in their rendition of," ending with a flourish, "the Cell Block Tango!"
His eyes narrowed. "You say something, Shepard?"
She grinned. "I wasn't talking to you, Garrus," she replied airily.
Garrus glanced over at Jacob, who shrugged.
And then the mercs and mechs poured in as Warden Kuril betrayed them. The three of them ducked to take cover.
"Pop!" Shepard said, shooting a Blue Sun's head right off his shoulders. "Six!" Her next shot hit a retreating merc in the back. "Squish!" She slammed into another with a biotic charge. "Uh-uh!" A FENRIS charged at her as she shot it repeatedly with her shotgun. "Cicero, Lipschitz!"
Garrus frowned. Were these human warcries, perhaps?
Shepard beckoned them forward. "Let's move out."
As they moved onward through the prison, it became increasingly apparent that Shepard wasn't shouting warcries at her enemies. She was singing. At the top of her lungs.
"He had it coming!" she sang, firing a barrage of bullets at the YMIR mech coming their way. "He had it coming! He only had himself to blame!"
So much for the element of surprise… Garrus thought.
It turned out to be a fairly long song, as she'd occasionally burst out with the chorus any time an enemy got close. By the time they reached Warden Kuril, she seemed to be drawing to a close.
She charged into him in a blur of bluish purple. "You dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!" she belted out, each 'bum' punctuating a blast with her shotgun.
"I think he's dead, Shepard," Jacob pointed out.
She shrugged. "So? I'm almost done."
Garrus nudged Jacob with his elbow. "Come on. Let's go find Jack. She'll catch up."
As they turned their backs and left the room, they could still hear Shepard as she stood over the Warden's body. "I betcha you would have done the same!"
o.O.o
Garrus had decided not to mention it. Everyone deserved to have their odd days off, and anyway it was probably some human custom he wasn't aware of. He remembered hearing Crewman Matthews singing in the shower when he passed the men's bathroom some time ago. Maybe it was normal for humans to sing while doing day-to-day activities. Garrus wasn't about to be judgmental, especially not towards his best friend.
However, he started to think it wasn't so normal after their mission to Horizon. The battle on the surface was hard enough, made only more difficult by their tense reunion with Kaidan. Garrus knew that Shepard had been looking forward to seeing Kaidan again, and could only imagine how devastated she must have been when he essentially called her a traitor and a fraud to her face.
Garrus sat with a few of the Cerberus crew in the mess hall, relaxing after the mission. Shepard had been up in her cabin ever since they returned. He was just about to get up to see if she was okay when he heard her voice emerging from the elevator.
"…him sleeping, my body pressed to him," she was singing. He heard her footsteps step out into the corridor and the elevator door slide shut behind her. "And then he started speaking. The name I heard him speak… was Kim."
Kenneth looked up from his bowl of stew. "Is… is that somebody singing?"
Gabby looked around. "That sounds like Shepard!"
"Yes, I know that this was years ago… But when moonlight fills my room, I know…"
Garrus felt like cringing, but he wasn't sure why. This was normal, right?
Shepard popped up from around the corner, dramatically throwing herself against the wall with a fist held close to her chest. "I still… I still believe you will return! I know you will! My heart – against all odds – holds still!"
Kenneth was suppressing a snicker – badly. "Shepard's into… show tunes?"
Gabby grinned. "She's actually pretty good."
Garrus frowned. "What are show tunes?"
"Songs from musical theatre," Gabby explained, laughter in her eyes that somehow didn't make it to her lips.
"Namby pamby crap, if you ask me," Mess Sergeant Gardner piped up from the kitchen. He hadn't even managed a smile.
"Don't let the Commander hear you," Gabby warned. "She'll kick your ass."
Gardner gave a grunt in reply.
"I'll live!" Shepard was coming toward them now, her eyes fixed on the ceiling in a hopeful expression. She had an unopened bottle of brandy in one hand. "Love cannot die! You will return… you will return…" Her voice cut off as she entered the med-bay and the doors closed behind her.
"So…" Garrus began as he continued to watch Shepard through the glass windows. "Why's that funny?"
Kenneth let out the snicker she was holding. "Show tunes!" he managed.
"It's hard to explain, Garrus," Gabby told him. "But it takes a… special kind of person to sing show tunes in public."
So, the type of song is weird. Garrus made a mental note. "She's had a bad day," he said, almost apologetically, though he wasn't sure why he was making excuses for his best friend. He watched Shepard as she waved the bottle of brandy in front of Doctor Chakwas and poured them a couple of glasses. Shepard then pulled the older woman to her feet. Karin, for her part, blushed furiously for a few moments before taking a long swig and standing up.
Kenneth got to his feet, abandoning his stew. "That's our cue to get outta here, Gabs."
"What?" Gabby asked, startled. "Why?"
"It's about to turn into a duet. And any good Scotsman knows drinking and singing don't mix," he said with a wink.
Gabby got up. "Unless it's a sea shanty."
"Unless it's a sea shanty," Kenneth agreed as they headed to the elevator.
Later, Garrus found out the hard way that Kenneth was right. He could hardly concentrate on his calibrations as the drunken, off-key singing eventually penetrated the walls.