Girl Scout: *knocks on the door*
Sith Lord: GO AWAY! *is in the middle of reading "How to be A Successful Dark Lord for a Dummy in 10,000 Easy Steps!" as he opens the door*
Girl Scout: Will you buy a box of Girl Scout cookies? *is a Cadet with an every cheery smile*
Sith Lord: Did you not understand, what I said?
Girl Scout: I thought the dark side liked cookies!
Sith Lord: No, the dark side does NOT like cookies!
Girl Scout: Come on pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee!
Sith Lord: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *pulls out light saber and attempts to kill the Girl Scout*
Girl Scout: *is wearing a light saber protection suit* Umm….
Sith Lord: Why *huff* aren't *zing* you *ssszzzttt* dying? *ssscccrrrhhh*
Girl Scout: Light Saber Protection Suit 5000, for Girl Scouts that are selling to the dark side.
Sith Lord: *vrrrmmmpp* *growls at the Girl Scout* How many boxes will it take you to leave me alone?
Girl Scout: As many boxes that are in my speeder.
Sith Lord: Okay and how many is that?
Girl Scout: *counts on her fingers* About 300 cases of cookies.
Sith Lord: *gives her a skeptical look* No, way in bloody murdering hell am I going to buy that many *beep beep* boxes of cookies!
Girl Scout: Come on pleaseeee, do it! Think of how many Sith Lords will be jealous of you!
Sith Lord: *looks at book, which reads: "… To find an easy way to make other Sith and or Dark Lords jealous, you must be able to keep this phrase true. "Come to the Dark side, we have cookies!" To fool enemies that you're rich and powerful.*
Girl Scout: come on, doesn't the dark side have cookies?
Sith Lord: *grumbles* How much?
Girl Scout: 10 dollars a box.
Book: Think of the saying, young padawan, think of the saying.
Girl Scout: is that book talking,
Sith Lord: No. And there is no way I have that much!
Girl Scout: Please, alright I'll cut it in half, *counts* 150 cases!
Sith Lord: NO! I'm going to send my apprentice after you, you little witch with cookies!
Girl Scout: Your "apprentice" happens to be my boyfriend, *says it matter a factly*
Book: Come on young padawan, just buy the cookies.
Girl Scout: That book is definitely talking.
Sith Lord: No it is not! *is now shouting* GO AWAY! *attempts to kill the Girl Scout again*
Girl Scout: *is now watching him amused* My boyfriend totally got your personality right!
Book: No, kidding. No one can get his personality wrong!
Sith Lord: *is seething now* Fine I'll buy how many *beep beep beep beep….*
(20 minutes later after cussing his heart out to his content)
Sith Lord: …. COOKIES YOU HAVE!
Girl Scout: That'll be 3,000 dollars.
Apprentice: Hello, Master. I see you have met my girl friend.
Sith Lord: *temple bulges* And, you will most sorely regret that you even have one.
Apprentice: And I see you do not mix with her insistent attitude.
Girl Scout: *hands the Sith Lord a vaccumn box* Here you go, just press the button when you want them! *grins before hugging the Apprentice*
Appretice: How many did he buy?
Girl Scout: All the ones in my speeder! *grins*
Apprentice: How many was that?
Girl Scout: 3,000 cases.
Apprentice: *looks quite skeptical* Right….
Girl Scout: No I'm serious!
Sith Lord: *hands her his wallet* That's three thousand dollars worth of money there. *is refraining from killing*
Apprentice: *looks impressed* I should get him to buy from you more often.
Girl Scout: *takes the wallet pleased* Thank you, Sir! *leaves in her speeder*
Apprentice: isn't she a nice gal?
Sith Lord: No, she is not. You are going to rid yourself of her!
- 2 months later after cookie season -
Dark Lord Meeting
Sith Lord: *is fumbling with papers as he is meeting with all the other Sith lords*
Head Dark Lord: So, how many cookies do you guys have?
(Silence)
Head Dark Lord: Whoever has the most wins the most cookies award. You know that award is coveted.
Apprentice 2: Umm….. 3 boxes…
Sith Lord 10: Umm…. 100…
Apprentice: My master has 3,000 boxes of stupid girl scout cookies.
Sith Lord: *holds his head in his hands*
(Shocked silence)
Head Dark Lord: *looks stunned* ummm… I think you won… unless anyone can claim to have bought more
(more stunned silence)
Head Dark Lord: *goes over and hands the Sith Lord a gold Award that has clearly written on it "Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies Award!"
Sith Lord: you've got to be kidding me….
Head Dark Lord: Nope.
Apprentice: *hoots*
Head Dark Lord: *glares*
Apprentice: *stays quiet*
Head Dark Lord: How did you acquire that many cookies…?
Sith Lord: Do not ask.
Apprentice: he bought them from my girl friend.
Head Dark Lord: May I ask why?
Apprentice: because she somehow managed to get him to do so.
Girl Scout: *comes in and is in a hooded robe with her Master*
Apprentice: And now, we're still six feet under with all the cookies.
Girl Scout: *smirks and chuckles under her breath*
Sith Lord: *bangs his head hard against a book repeatedly*
Head Dark Lord: *goes back to the head of the table*
Apprentice: Well, at least we won the award!
Sith Lord: *through banging his head* Sh-ut up Sh-ut up Sh-ut up.
Girl Scout: *chuckles and goes over to the apprentice and give him a wink*