This is set in Season 2 because that was, IMO, the greatest season of TBBT. The comedy was brilliant, the characters were superb, and the Shenny antics were truly fabulous and unique. There was even a chance that maybe, just maybe-dare I say, and correct me if I'm wrong-Sheldon and Penny could have ended up together. But now they've kind of screwed us, and everything's kind of mellowed out … but not in a good way. Well, that's enough wistful blathering from me. Hope you like it! :)
(Oh, and btw, I've also posted this on AO3 and the format looks a hell of a lot better there. It took me forever to figure out how to upload this on here without the Doc Manager eating away half the symbols! Just saying. Enjoy!)
"Sheldon, I'm boooored!" Penny moaned loudly to her boyfriend as she laid sprawled across the sofa, making sure to keep her feet out of Sheldon's spot. It seemed the law of "Sheldon's spot" was universal and applied to any couch he sat on, which in this case was a pristine white Kubus.
Sheldon returned from preparing a cup of tea and set it down on the table in front of the couch before sitting down beside his girlfriend. "Fascinating," he said sarcastically and took a sip, and Penny still couldn't get over the fact that he could now understand sarcasm, let alone use it properly. "And do you have a solution to resolve that crisis?" he continued. "Or were you hoping that I could offer a suggestion to fill the temporal gap from this moment when you are bored to a future moment when you are not?"
"I've got a hole you can fill in for me now," Penny drawled provocatively, trailing a finger up his pants leg.
"Honestly, Penny! Is coitus your answer to everything?" he scolded.
Penny rolled her eyes and sat up. "I'm kidding, Sheldon! No coitus. Well, not now, maybe later." She smirked, but it only lasted about a second before she collapsed against the couch. "But I'm so bored! I want to do something, Sheldon!"
"We could watch a documentary on black hole thermodynamics," Sheldon suggested, causing Penny to roll her eyes and let out a loud, melodramatic sigh. "No, honey, I meant I want to do something fun!"
He gave her an annoyed stare. "And are you implying that my suggestion is not fun? Although really, fun is subjective, so perhaps my idea of fun is not your cup of tea. Speaking of tea-" He picked up the cup and took a long sip. Penny stared at her whackadoodle boyfriend in awe. Sometimes she could still not believe that they had ended up together.
The guys had predictably been shocked when they casually announced one evening over a dinner of pizza that they were going steady. It was sort of like coming out in a way, at least for Sheldon, because for him to admit that he was any kind of sexual that didn't have the letter 'a' before it was a giant leap for man and a small step for mankind. Evidently he was Pennysexual.
It was a pretty big deal for Penny too. It was originally believed that the only two reasons one would date Sheldon Cooper were a. One consumed the same brand of crazy as him, or b. One had tried out every single person-nay, organism on earth and decided that he was the one. But for Penny, it was just a simple case of opposites attracting. Apparently he was the world's dumbest genius and she was the world's smartest idiot, so somehow, it worked. The guys had been pretty supportive, although the obligatory awkwardness did abound with Leonard and even Howard, who now had to accept that Penny was no longer "a luxury item on the market." All in all, though, life had been great. Right after they made it official, Penny was offered a starring role in a sitcom and quit the Cheesecake Factory. They then purchased a condo and moved to LA. They still kept in touch with their old friends, of course. But mostly they liked to keep in touch with each other. Literally.
"Ooh, I know!" Penny chimed in, sitting upright again and bouncing eagerly like a little kid about to go to an amusement park. "Let's play Hangman!"
"Hangman?" Sheldon echoed, placing his tea back on the table.
She nodded, grinning. "Yeah, I love that game. Makes me feel like I'm on Wheel of Fortune."
He pondered the idea for a second, then nodded, smiling. "I'll get the necessary supplies." He got up and left towards the kitchen, then opened a drawer, pulling out an unused notepad and a pen. Suddenly, an idea crossed his mind. He looked down at the notepad, then over at Penny from across the room, who was sitting on the couch, smiling in a way that made him smile as well. Should I? We have been dating for over a year now, and she has told me that this is what she wants. But would it look too tacky? He removed a key from his pocket and unlocked a small velvet box that was inside the drawer, taking out a diamond ring. He looked at her again and figured, he was never going to get another chance like this. And besides, since when has Sheldon Cooper ever been the conventional type?
Taking a deep breath, he shut the drawer and returned to the living room. He set the pen and notepad down on the table, where Penny was eagerly waiting. "Great, let's play! I'll go first."
She uncapped the pen, flipped to an empty page and started writing. Sheldon wasn't really concentrating on the notepad, he was too distracted watching his girlfriend/soon-to-be-wife. Wife. That word brought chills to his spine. Sheldon Cooper had never liked change, even if it brought forth something amazing. But Penny was slowly getting him there, opening his eyes to a different world. For him, she was worth all the comfort zones in the world.
"Sheldon?"
The tall man looked at Penny, and she pointed down at the notepad.
"Oh, yes! My apologies." Sheldon abandoned his uncharacteristically nervous state of mind and reverted right back to his normal critical thinking persona. Let's see. Two words. Nine spaces. Hmm.
"A," he said. Might as well start with the first letter.
Penny smiled and wrote an A in the first space.
A - - - - - - - -
"E?"
A - - E - - E - -
"N," he said. That's enough vowels for now.
"You're on a roll," she smiled, adding in some more letters. He examined the puzzle so far.
ANNE - - E - -
He frowned. Anne what? She couldn't possibly have misspelled Frank, could she? After all, she had been in a production of Anne Frank.
"Stuck? I'll give you a clue." Penny stretched her long leg out into the air and created a circular pattern with her foot.
Now he was even more confused. How on Earth did feet and Anne and circles tie into a phrase?
"Oops, I forgot another N!" Penny blushed, then scribbled in a letter at the end of the second word. Well, now he knew for sure that it wasn't Anne Frank. But what was it, though?
ANNE - - E - N
Odeon? Pleon? Paeon?
"P?" he asked, uncertain.
"Ohh! And you were doing so great!" Penny drew a head attached to the noose. Sheldon now remembered why he had never liked this game. It always made him feel like he'd committed homicide every time he lost.
"R?"
And there goes the neck. Sheldon started to sweat.
"Psst, Sheldon!" Penny stage whispered. "Go for another vowel!"
He decided to take her advice, following the order of vowels. "I."
"Now we're talking." Penny scrawled an I in between the E and the N.
ANNE - - EIN
Anne what? Anne what? Penny flashed her foot again, which Sheldon now realized was sporting black and white heels, and suddenly it all clicked.
"Anne Klein!" he blurted out. He remembered her saying that it was her favourite place to buy shoes.
"Yeah!" She high-fived him, then passed him the notepad and pen. "Now it's your turn."
They played a few more rounds, and both of them started really getting into the game. Penny selected from a potpourri of phrases ranging from celebrities to Hello Kitty to food, and he managed not to kill any innocent stickmen. Sheldon picked some atomic elements, a few Star Wars characters, and surprisingly she got them all. He figured they had both learned a few things off of each other. Eventually, Penny told him that she was tired of Hangman and wanted to go out. Sheldon knew that now was the time. He asked to do one last puzzle, and Penny said okay.
Sheldon tried to keep his breathing steady as he jotted his puzzle down on the sheet.
Penny's eyes widened as she stared at the puzzle. "Oh, this is a long one. Well, no biggie. I got this!"
- - - - - , - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ?
"Ummm, A!"
Sheldon nodded. Good choice. He wrote in the letter.
- - - - - , - - - - - - - - A - - - - - ?
"E!"
-E - - - , - - - - - - - - A - - - - E ?
"I!"
-E - - - , - I - - - - - - A - - - - E?
"Umm, okay. I think I need to get some consonants going. N!"
Yes,
Sheldon thought. This is going swimmingly.
-ENN - , - I - - - - - - A - - - -E?
"L," she said.
-ENN - , - ILL - - - - A - - - - E?
He wrote in the letter. Suddenly, his heart started pounding. It was all happening so fast! Very soon, Penny was going to figure out the puzzle and then … well, he didn't know what would happen then. All he could do was hope for the best.
And then everything started to go wrong.
"C," she said. He drew a head. "Balls." She tried again. "H!" A neck. "Seriously? Okay, okay. Um, T!" Sheldon was starting to feel dizzy as more of the body began to appear. What if Penny didn't solve it? His whole plan would be ruined! Blown into smithereens! Come on, Penny. You can do it. I know you can.
"Okay, so the consonants don't like me anymore. Let's go back to vowels, then, shall we?" Penny said. Sheldon breathed out a sigh of relief. Yes, all the vowels were in the puzzle.
"Very well," he responded.
"O."
Sheldon drew a perfectly circular O in the middle of the third word.
-ENN- , - ILL - O - - A - - - - E?
"U?"
-ENN- , -ILL -OU -A - - - - E?
"Oh, oh, I know what that one is!" She pointed to the third word. She channelled her high school cheerleader self and shouted, throwing her hands into the air, "Give me a Y!"
-ENNY , -ILL YOU -A - - Y - E?
She surveyed the words carefully, and Sheldon was now visibly sweating. The more the puzzle was revealed, the more nervous he got. He swallowed painfully, feeling like all the strings of the universe were wrapped around his throat.
"P?" she asked. Another letter, another string. He added in the P on the first word, and Penny's eyebrows perked upwards when she realized that it was her first name. "Wow, um, okay. M! That's my favourite letter."
Now she was really getting close to solving the puzzle. Sheldon's hand was shaking as he wrote the remaining letters.
PENNY, -ILL YOU MA - - Y ME?
Penny stared at the puzzle for a long time. She then said so quietly that he would not have heard it if it wasn't for his Vulcan hearing: "R." Trembling, Sheldon wrote two R's.
PENNY, -ILL YOU MARRY ME?
"W," she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. He wrote the W. Penny looked down at the puzzle in disbelief.
PENNY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
When she looked back up, Sheldon was on his knee holding a velvet box out in front of her. Inside the box was a pure diamond ring.
"Penny," he started. "Just a year ago, I would have never imagined that I would be in a physical relationship with someone. As you know, I am not very fond of physical contact. I did not allow people in my room, let alone allow them to sleep with me. But you seem to be my exception for everything. You know how much I desire closure. Well, you are my closure. You complete me, Penny. You've introduced me to a new world, and I wish to keep exploring that world with you for as long as we shall remain in it. Although asking the question is redundant since you have seen it already, I will ask you anyways: Penny, will you marry me?"
Penny covered her mouth as tears poured down her cheeks. She nodded, and choked out a squeaky, "Yes." Then, suddenly, she pounced on him, making him drop the ring and kissed him as he lay on the floor. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" she said over and over in between kisses. Soon Sheldon started to reciprocate and they remained on the floor, completely lost in each other, for a few more minutes.
"How does that coitus sound now, Moonpie?" she said in a low, sensual voice, leading him to the bedroom.
"Splendid," he answered with a coy smile. "But were we not going to go out for dinner?"
"Ah, screw that! I want you and your crazy all to myself, right here, right now!"
"As you wish, Mrs. Cooper," he teased.
"Oh, come here, you!" They fell onto their bed and began to kiss and sin the night away. As they shared yet another moment of their lives together, the stars seemed to align, all the strings of the universe seemed to tie themselves together, every scar in Penny's body felt like it had disappeared, and the only thought that passed through both their minds was one word: Perfect.