At the Beginning

Kakashi was too young for this. He knew he was too young; the Council knew he was too young; Sandaime knew he was too young. And yet, here he stood, asking for custody of his deceased teacher's only child. And it would have been simple, to just sign the child over to him, except for a very important detail: the child was also the living sacrifice for the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and the Council was still trying to decide on whether or not the baby should even be permitted to live.

Said baby was quietly crying in Sandaime's arms as he sat at the head of the room. The other clan heads, many of whom had small children themselves, winced in sympathy for the old man. The advisors bluntly ignored the vocalizations, though they found that whenever they tried to speak, the baby's wails would get louder and drown them out. It had been a very long day, and everyone simply wanted to go home, either to their own families or to their schemes.

"Please, Sandaime-sama," said Kakashi. "I'm the closest family he has. I'll admit to inexperience, but I am a quick learner. And you did mention that it might be good for me to have someone in my life to balance me."

"I did not mean a baby," said Sandaime. "Children are a lot of work, Kakashi."

"And Jiraiya is the child's godfather," said Shikaku. "According to the wills, anyway."

"Jiraiya is needed as spymaster," said Sandaime. "At any rate, the child should not leave the village until he has grown up."

"It is too dangerous to keep," growled Fugaku. "Get rid of it!"

"Or better still, give it to me," said Danzo. "I'll make sure that it's properly brought up."

"Tsunade is another option," suggested Homura. "She is the child's mother's cousin, is she not?"

"You'd have to find Tsunade first," said Tsume. "And I pity the fool who tries to make her come back before she wants to. We all know the way she gambles."

"And drinks," muttered Koharu. The baby wailed his loudest yet.

"Someone, anyone, please make that baby stop crying!" said Hiashi. "This is ridiculous. If Kakashi wants him, let him raise the child. He has the skills and the analytical capacity to put down any threats that may occur."

"Very true," concurred Inoichi. "It might be better if the kid grows up with someone who loves him, even a little bit. Love's a powerful thing, you know."

"It would seem so," said Shikaku dryly. "You're in a committed monogamous relationship, aren't you?"

"Shut up," said Inoichi half heartedly. "Besides, I have faith in Minato's work. The guy was a genius with seals. I seriously doubt that he would screw this up."

"It does seem rather unlikely," admitted Fugaku. "I do not think that we can afford to take the risk. The village is weakened by this attack, and we're still recovering from the last war. The risk is too great, no matter the proficiency of the Yondaime."

The baby wailed loudly again, and continued to scream. Sandaime tried to quiet him, rocking him gently and talking to him, to no avail. The newborn kept screaming. The councillors looked around at each other murmuring to one another.

Kakashi stepped forward and quietly took the baby from Sandaime's arms. Almost immediately, the baby stopped crying, staring up at Kakashi with large blue eyes. Gently, he ran a fingertip down the side of the baby's face, as though he was afraid he might hurt the infant if he touched him too hard. The baby gurgled at him.

"Well, then," said Sandaime, "I think that's that. Hatake Kakashi will be Uzumaki Naruto's guardian until he comes of age and becomes a legal adult. Jiraiya and Tsunade will be informed of all of this, and I will leave them to make their decisions accordingly. I proclaim this council to be adjourned, until tomorrow morning at nine o'clock, at which time we will discuss village repairs and the possibilities of implementing a medic corps. Goodnight."

Kakashi waited until everyone else had left the room. "Thank you, Sarutobi-sama. For letting me have Naruto."

"Don't be silly," said Sarutobi. "I wasn't kidding about a child being work. You're going to have to find someone to look after him while you're away. You're going to have to learn how to take care of him yourself. I can't give you any time off, I'm afraid. We need all the help we can get."

"Would it be alright if I only did D- and C-rank missions for a little bit?" asked Kakashi. "Those tend to be low-risk, and for the in-village things, I can bring Naruto along with me. The dogs might watch him as well, if I ask."

"Do yourself a favour," said Sarutobi, "and don't try to do everything yourself. If you can find no one else, I will take care of him for you. Just bring him to my office."

"Thank you, Sarutobi-sama," said Kakashi with a bow. "Please excuse me. I need to find formula and diapers. I think he's fussing because he's hungry."

"That's a good place to start," said Sarutobi. "There are several good books on childcare in bookstores. Try the 'What to Expect' series. They're very good."

"I will, thank you," said Kakashi. "Ready, Naruto? Let's go home."

Ω

Naruto seemed fascinated by the dogs. And the dogs were likewise enthralled. Every time the dogs were Summoned to help Kakashi out, they reacted to Naruto the same way. Bull sat the furthest back from the baby on the cushion. The others sat closer, sniffing the newest addition to their family, with mixed reactions. Kakashi watched his fierce Summons as they cooed and fussed over Naruto. It was beyond weird.

"Is he supposed to have whiskers?" asked Akino, not for the first time.

"He is the Kyuubi's jinchuriki," said Kakashi patiently. "That's probably where they're from."

"Kushina-san didn't have them," said Pakkun. "And she was the one before him."

"But she didn't have it from birth, did she?" said Akino. "Maybe that makes the difference."

"It doesn't matter why he has them," said Kakashi. "The point is they're there. Now, who wants to volunteer for babysitting duty while I go buy more formula?"

"I don't suppose there's another option," sighed Pakkun.

"Everyone not volunteering is going on a hunt for Tsunade," said Kakashi. "We need her back as soon as possible. Other teams will be going out as well, so if you don't find her in two weeks, come home."

"I'll stay," grumbled Pakkun.

"So will I," said Akino. The other dogs whuffed in agreement and headed for the door. Kakashi sighed and handed each volunteer dog a copy of the message for Tsunade. They took off for the village gates, determined to find the Legendary Sucker. Kakashi checked back with the two remaining dogs, and went out to find as much formula and diapers as he could reasonably carry. Maybe he'd make it a stupid challenge with Gai, baby care… or not. Childhood trauma, and all that.

As it turned out, there were lots of different kinds of diapers and formula. Last time he'd gone shopping for the necessities, he'd gone to a relief shelter and had the appropriate equipment thrown at him before being ignored for the next person in line. Thankfully, a copy of the book Sandaime had recommended had been included. Unfortunately for him this time, Kakashi stood in front of the shelf, thoroughly out of his depth, until a kind woman – trailing two small children of her own – offered him some pointers on basic childcare and picking age-appropriate diapers and formula. Kakashi was grateful for the help; there are just some things you can't learn from a book. Armed with enough baby gear to last the next three days, at least, Kakashi returned to his apartment.

And found Gai and Asuma being kept in a corner by Akino while Pakkun washed a wailing Naruto, who smelled like a diaper change might be necessary. Kakashi sighed and picked up the baby, laying him flat on his back on a blanket and unwrapping the diaper already on him. Quickly, he dropped a wet wipe over Naruto's crotch and wiped his bum with the clean edges, and then tied it back up and threw it in the dirty diaper bag – scheduled to be picked up for cleaning sometime later this week – with practiced concentration. Kakashi then powdered and wiped Naruto completely clean and tied on a fresh diaper. Task complete, he picked up the baby and looked at his colleagues. Asuma and Gai were both staring.

"Put the cigarette out," said Kakashi flatly. "It's not good for Naruto's lungs. And it's almost impossible to get the stink out once you're gone."

Asuma shrugged and put out the cigarette. "So you're seriously taking care of a baby. The great Sharingan Kakashi is changing diapers and mixing up formula."

"This is most unusual, Kakashi," said Gai soberly. "Are you not well?"

"I'm fine," said Kakashi. "It's nice, having him around. He brings a different routine to my life. And the dogs seem to like him."

"The dogs seem to like him?" said Asuma incredulously. "Are you completely insane? That thing is a monster, and all you can say is that your dogs like him?"

"My dogs are great judges of character," said Kakashi coldly. "I seem to recall you two being trapped in a corner by one of them. As for your other charge, doesn't everyone have an inner daemon or two? Aren't we all monsters, under our pretenses of civilization?"

"That may be," said Asuma, "but-"

"But nothing," snapped Kakashi. "This is my choice and my life. If you're as blind and stupid as everyone else, you can leave my apartment. Don't come back until you grow a brain."

Without another word, Asuma went.

"We are only concerned about you," said Gai. "There was no need to be so harsh."

"I am sick of that shit," said Kakashi as though he hadn't heard. "Sick of the whispers, sick of the debates in council, sick of people assuming that there's something wrong with him. He's a good kid. He cries when he needs something, he likes being held, he eats everything he's fed, and he's as regular as clockwork. All of those things are normal. He's just a normal baby."

"He sounds like a handful," said Gai.

"He is," said Kakashi with a soft smile. "But I'm getting into the rhythm of caring for him. It's nice, to have someone to hold, and talk to about nothing."

"I am sure," said Gai. "Perhaps I could get some formula ready while you cuddle him."

"There are a few bottles already mixed up in the fridge," said Kakashi. "Could you heat one up and bring it out here? I need to find the nursing blanket."

When the three of them were settled in the living room, Gai watched in awe as Kakashi successfully fed Naruto. The three-week-old drank the whole bottle, sucking contentedly while Kakashi watched to make sure he was breathing while he fed. Gai was surprised when Kakashi braced Naruto against his shoulder, patted his back gently, and was promptly spat up on.

"They're supposed to do that," said Kakashi with a laugh, when Gai asked about it. "They eat so much, some of it blocks their airway, and they'll choke if you don't. He'll sleep now for a while."

Gai watched as Kakashi attempted to swaddle Naruto, got it wrong, soothed the child, and tried again. The baby fell asleep quickly and Kakashi put him in the cradle in his room.

"It would seem that you know what you are doing," said Gai. "Please call upon me if you require baby-sitting services. I am sure that these skills shall be of great use."

"Thanks for the offer," said Kakashi. "I'll probably have to take you up on it. Would you mind going somewhere else now? I'd like to take a nap too."