Someone help me. Help me stand. Help me forget. Help me move on.
Someone help me.
I feel weak and ready to break. But I can't. I must be strong. I can't let him win.
The evil villain from my nightmares. From my past and dark memories.
He wishes to conquer. He wishes to stake claim.
And whether I am dead or alive, he can still conquer. And with that mere thought he has.
I need help. I need an escape.
One where he is extinct, gone, obsolete, vanished. From my memories, my past, my dreams, and my future.
I seek an escape where he is nothing . . . and never was.
Perhaps the escape will come when I erase him form my name. My title.
Making it mine and not his . . . never his.
Or maybe it will come when I come of age and no longer receive his aide.
When I live off my own landand not his . . . never his.
The escape could happen when I move away.
Away from places he has been, touched, and witnessed.
A place that is free of him. A place that is only me. Only me . . .never him.
Even more, the escape could happen when I am well into my 500s.
Making my own mistakes and winning my own battles.
When I have a house, a husband, and a family.
When I have lived my life to the fullest and still keep going.
When it is my life and only my life . . . never his.
Then, perhaps I will finally be free.
Free from all that is him. Free from all that threatens to be him.
Satisfyingly living my life peacefully. Peacefully living my life.
Only mine life . . .never his.
Oh how I wish it could be. Yet my logic tells me I'll never be free.
For all I have to do is look into the mirror and see . . . he has conquered. And I shall never be free.
He is apart of my past . . . forever, and forever will be.
He is in my memories . . . forever. Hiding in the shadows while I cower in fear.
I will never find a place he has not been. For there is none . . . for me.
His blood touches my blood. His hands have touched my hair as a child.
And his eyes have witnessed me grow into that child.
Oh how I wishescape could be possible. Escape sounds so easy, so nice to me.
The question is now: What form of escape shall I use. And how long until I use it.