Me, Myself, and I.
Chapter 1.
Head down, shoulders slumped, heart wrenching, and trying to blink away the tears. She slowly looked up, and all you see is ugliness and pain in her expression.
See that girl? That's me.
I looked back down and watched my feet shuffle across the floor… unable to look up and see all the faces, looking down on me and sniggering… all beautiful. I remembered who I am when I looked at those faces, the pain I felt looking in the mirror.
The tears threatened to fall, and while trying to fight it, I felt a tear slide down and drip down. Still looking down, I pushed through the people and doors, and ran down the steep stairs. I tripped and crawled under a tree, and started to bawl.
I…I wish for once…nobody will see… see me cry… I buried my face in my hands and for once, by a miracle, my wish came true. I felt something drip on my head. I held one shaking hand out, and felt indeed, small drips on my palm. Unwilling to believe that something I had wished had come true; I raised my ugly face up to the sky and felt the rain sprinkle down on me. Rainwater and my salty tears intermingled and dribbled down my face. Summoning up my courage, I stepped out from under the tree and straight into the rain.
I began to laugh. My laughter was not of joy, merely an attempt to choke the misery out of my life. My laughter, full of pain, turned again into tears.
I was the ugly girl in the rain, looking at the sky and crying, alone and swimming in the painful tears she cried and wallowing in her own self-pity.
Looking back up, all I saw was students running back into the building glowing with soft, warm light. Unlike what it appeared to be, this building was my personal hell called high school.
I saw them stare and laugh, and I felt the need to go home. My head facing down again, I started to trudge silently back home, interrupted by a couple audible sobs.
In what felt like twenty minutes, I was looking at the front of my house. I hesitated, but remembered that my mom was at work, and wouldn't be there "discipline" me. I shoved my key in the lock and went inside. I kicked off my worn-out shoes and went to the bathroom, leaving a trail of water. I walked into the dimly lit bathroom and looked straight at my nemesis: myself.
If you said I had long, brown hair, brown eyes, a small nose, and clear skin, I may not have seemed so bad. When I looked into the mirror, I saw my hair, frizzy, unkempt, tangled masses of curls and full of split ends. I saw my eyes, a muddy brown with no hint of color or sparkle, framed by lashes that seemed not to be there. I saw my nose, small but crooked in every way possible with huge, flaring nostrils. I saw my skin, with one pimple, randomly brushed freckles, baby fat, and a completely unconfident expression.
I took the towel from the rack beside me, and rubbed my face into it, hoping in vain that I would look up again and somehow look pretty. Without looking up, I went back to the door to wipe up the water I tracked into the house.
After finishing, I threw the towel aside and walked out the door into the foggy sky. Judging by how dark the sky was, I believed it to be around six at night. Not bothering to walk in a straight line on the sidewalk, I soon was walking near the middle of the road. With my mind blank and oblivious to the world, I began to hum a tune I heard somewhere on the radio. I guess I really didn't notice what I was doing, especially because I didn't notice the bright, honking truck coming right at me.