"Hey, Newt!" I heard a voice shout after me. Seriously? It was 3.30, I wanted to go home.
"What?" I said, turning round to see Tommy running up to me. Just because the guy's my best friend does not mean that I love seeing him. I just wanted to go home, I was tired.
"What? No 'hey there's my best friend in the whole wide world'? Wow Newt I thought we had something special going on" he says with a wink.
I rolled my eyes, he wanted something. "What favour do you want me to do you now? I am tired and want to go home."
"Your lack of faith astounds me."
"Astounds? Big word for you there, shuckface."
He glares at me, "fine, I guess you don't want to me to tell you the information I have just collected about Emma…" he trails off and turns to go.
"No, wait, I want to know. I'm sorry" I'm going to have to lay it on thick and I know it, "you're the best friend in the whole world" I pause, deciding whether I have to add the next bit, "even better than Minho."
He smirks at me, he's going to tell Minho I said that and then I'm going to have to deal with the biggest drama queen in the world. But I can tell that he's pacified.
"I know" he says, causing me to roll my eyes again.
"So you're stopping me going home and sleeping because?"
"Because Emma-wemma," I still don't know why he insists on calling her that, "is currently having a break down outside the kiln room and I figured you would want to swoop in as her Newt in shining armour and save her."
I can't even summon the energy to react to that pun, "why's she crying?"
"I don't know. Alby just told me to find you and let you know."
Alby, of course. I swear that guy ships me and Emma. In fact even before we'd met all he would go on about is how perfect we were for each other.
"Did Alby not think to check if she's okay?"
He rolls his eyes at me this time, "and miss an opportunity for you to confess your feelings for her? Course not."
"I'm not telling her how I feel," I go to walk past him but he whips his arm out to stop me.
"Why not?"
"I've told you before, she doesn't like me that way."
"That is the biggest load of clunk," clunk? "I have ever heard."
"Clunk?"
"New word Alby came up with, but that's not the point."
I struggled to keep a sigh in, Thomas was not going to shut up about this, "fine, I'll go check on her," I go past him and start to walking to the art department.
"And tell her how you feel," I hear him call after me.
"Still not going to happen," I shout back.
I know all the guys think she likes me back but I know she doesn't. At least, I don't think she does. I don't want to think she does only for her to turn around and not.
I try to walk a bit quieter as I get closer to the corridor the kiln room's on so I don't disturb her, when I get to the corner I look round and see her sat on the floor.
Is she crying? It doesn't look like she's crying. Oh, wait, yep she's crying.
I hear her give a muffled scream and before I know what I'm doing my feet have walked me round the corner.
Right, okay, announce yourself, something kind and sympathetic, "you alright there, Emma?"
IDIOT! That is not kind and sympathetic, that's something Gally would say and you are not Gally, you are Newt.
"Just fine, Newt. Peachy." Yep, she's angry and sad. It's the only time she ever uses the word peachy.
I sit down beside her, "really? Because it looks like you're having a bit of a breakdown right now?"
Why am I still being like Gally? I should be being kind and sympathetic.
"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. My grade is ruined and my life is over, but perfectly fine," definitely angry, she always becomes very sarcastic when angry.
"My parents are going to scream at me, I could get kicked off the course, I'm not going to be able to get the right grades to go to university, all because I'm such a complete an utter idiot!" I just let her rant, knowing it's for the best.
"All I had to do was turn the kiln off at 3.15 but no, I can't even manage to do that! Because apparently being set ten million essays and pieces of work for coursework just isn't enough! No! Now I have to redo this as well!"
I felt like my heart was breaking for her. Okay, that was very over dramatic, I've been hanging around with Minho too much…
I can see her trying to calm herself down. I want to help, how can I help? I'm awful at this.
She seems to freeze for a second, then her head slowly turns to look at me and her cheeks fill with colour. She looks so utterly stunning, even with the tear tracks running down her face.
Newt.
Focus.
"Ummm sorry you had to see that" she stammers, a half smile gracing her face.
Just when I thought she couldn't become anymore adorable.
Oh, right, need to reply.
"No problem, it seemed like you just needed a rant" I smile at her, at least I hope it's a smile, I've probably just grimaced at her. "I'm always here if you need to chat, Emma" I smile again, I need to stop smiling, she'll think I'm laughing at her or something.
Is she blushing? She looks like she's blushing. She's looking away. Did I make her blush?
What do I do now? Ummm hold her hand, that's friendly and comforting.
My hand reaches out and takes her. Okay you're holding her hand.
I see her head shoot up in surprise, and she shrieks, her hand flying to the back of her neck.
Well done, Newt. You hold her hand and then make her crick her neck.
"Shit, Emma, are you okay?" I ask, pulling her towards me to try and get a look at her.
Of course she's not okay, you just injured her by holding her hand.
"Yeah" she stammers out, her eyes squeezed shut, "just great."
My free hand moves to the back of her neck, nudging hers out of the way and I try to gently massage the injured area.
Tommy is never going to let me live this down.
"Today just really isn't your day is it?" I chuckle, I really like being this close to her.
Newt, focus and keep your hormones in check.
"Really? What on earth gave you that impression?" She's so sarcastic, but it's so adorable.
Newt. Focus.
I laugh and stop massaging her neck.
Time to try and be supporting, offer to help her with her pottery issues.
"I can help you get another bowl sorted if you want? I've practically finished my vase" and I want to spend more time with you, but I don't say that out loud.
"No, that's fine. I'll manage to get it done on my own."
I scoff. "Emma. I know we've only been friends more a little over a year but you're not that proud that you won't ask for help?"
She scoffed at me. Touché.
"You don't even have to ask for help" I continue, "I'm offering to help you. I want to help you."
Please let me help you.
She turns to look at me and freezes again. What have I done?
"Look, Newt..." she began, "it's lovely that you want to help me and all but-"
My free hand moves to her mouth, covering it and effectively silencing her.
I see her glare at me and I burst out laughing.
I didn't mean to but she's the most unthreatening person I know.
"I don't mind, I've got plenty of time to kill whilst I wait for my coursework drafts back," I pause, I need to say it, "and it'll give us more time to spend together."
I regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. She's going to think I'm weird, we already see each other practically every day.
She's blushing, is that good?
She tries to speak but my hand was still covering her mouth. Oops.
I laugh and take my hand away, reaching into a pocket to take out a tissue. I use it to wipe the remaining tears off of her face, that's a good thing to do, right?
This is why I shouldn't tell her that I like her. I don't have a clue how to act around girls. Other than Emma, Theresa's my only other female friend, and I still don't quite know if I like her or not.
Emma, I always lose my train of thought when I'm around her.
She's just so beautiful.
Focus.
"I know you don't like to except help and I know it irritates you that it has to come from me, but please let me do this for you. You can make the bowl, you can put it in the kiln, you can do everything. I'll just be around to make sure nothing goes too wrong again."
I let go of her hand and stand up.
My hand feels cold now.
"Then you can help me paint the vase, if it'll make you feel better. You know I'm awful at painting."
I want to hold her hand again.
"You're not awful at anything though, Newt. You're the best in our class" I almost miss that, she says it so quietly. Well that explains why she doesn't want help from me, knowing her she sees it as pity.
I crouch down in front of her, "is that really what this is all about? That's why you don't want my help?"
She nods, refusing to look at me.
I reach out and cup her chin, turning her to face me.
I could kiss her right now, it would be so easy.
Focus.
"Emma Troth, the only reason I have been working my ass off on this course all year is because it's so bloody hard to stay ahead of you."
She rolls her eyes.
"Seriously, you wouldn't notice me if I wasn't fighting you to stay at the top."
"Fighting me to stay at the top? I'm barely passing this class" her voice trails and I see tears come to her eyes.
My heart shatters for her, all I want to do is kiss her and hold her but I don't know how much it would help.
"You're not though," my hands hold her face and force her to look at me, it would be so easy to kiss her.
"You're so much better than you think. You're so much better than everyone in this class and if the teachers can't see that then they're idiots."
"So you admit it? The teachers don't think I'm better than everyone in this class?"
Oh, didn't mean to make it come out like that.
"That's not what I mean, Emma, and you know it. The teachers know you have potential, but you're too scared to push yourself."
They've told me so themselves, apparently I'm the only one who has the chance to tell her. Our teachers are a bit pathetic.
"So you tell me I'm great then that I'm not working hard enough?" she snaps.
"No, no I didn't mean that. Shit, sorry, right, words" I must look like such an idiot right now.
This is why I know she doesn't like me like that, because I'm an idiot and she could get anyone she wanted.
"You work harder than anyone I know, you do so much for your coursework and essays but with some simple things you could push your mark up by so much. Please, just let me work with you and I know you can do it." I'm practically begging her at this point.
"I don't want your help, Newt. I'm used to getting everything done on my own."
Ouch, that hurt.
"I know you are, just let me help you make a vase. It'll boost your grade and I know you have the ability."
"Newt…"
"Do this, please, for me."
She pauses, is she considering it?
"Fine."
I feel myself break into a huge smile.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you" I need to stop talking, or at least stop repeating myself.
Hug her you fool!
I pull her in for a hug. A long hug. Long hugs are good.
I don't want to pull away but I know I should.
I don't make it too far though, I can't bring myself to.
I'm not even four inches from her.
It's too far in my opinion.
Talk.
"It's lucky we're quite good friends isn't it? If we're going to be spending so much time together" I whisper.
I don't mean to whisper, but my voice is not working. Probably because I'm this close to her, I can feel my brain shutting off.
She nods.
Okay, maybe I should tell her.
"I care about you, a lot. More than I should since we're just really good friends…"
Apparently I'm telling her.
"and I feel like really good friends shouldn't keep any secrets from each other…"
What part of my brain decided to tell her?
"and even if it's just helping you make a vase, I want to spend more time with you…"
I feel myself start to lean in.
"if you want me to stop" I whisper, why am I still whispering? "just tell me."
Please don't tell me to stop.
"I don't want you to stop" I hear her say.
She likes me too.
I close the gap and kiss her, wrapping my hand round the back of neck to pull her closer.
I feel her kiss back.
She likes me too.
I can't believe this.
After a couple of seconds I pull back, I need to ask her.
"So if you hadn't guessed, I sort of really like you, Emma." I hate what I just said, it sounds almost rude. I'm blown any chance I had with her by saying that haven't I? I stand up.
"And I'd really like for you to be my girlfriend, if you'll have me." Still not the greatest choice of words but I hold my hand out for her and she takes it, allowing me to pull her up, so I must still be likeable enough.
"Of course I'll have you, you idiot."
This time she kisses me, wrapping her arms around my neck, not an easy feat for someone so tiny. "I really like you too."
She actually likes me too.
Tommy, Alby, Minho, they were right.
I'm shocked.
I'm never going to hear the end of this.
I smile at her and kiss her again, holding her round the waist to compensate for the slight (big) height difference.
My tongue slowly reaches out to glide across her lower lip and I feel her open her mouth for me. I take the chance and deepen the kiss, pulling her closer.
After a while I feel her begin to pull away slightly, "Newt" she murmurs, "we have to stop."
Don't want to.
I groan and move my lips to her jawline.
"Newt, seriously, we're still in the art department."
Right.
I groan again but pull away.
"I guess you're right."
"I'm always right" she playfully glares up at me.
"I know, Em" I give her a kiss on the forehead, I can't believe she's mine now. I'm so lucky.
I feel her remove her arms from my neck and they go round my torso. Personally I plan on keeping mine round her waist for as long as possible.
"So… do you feel like giving a vase a shot now?" way to ruin the moment, brain.
She gently punches me in the arm and I laugh. So very unthreatening.
"Shut up."
"Sorry, I'm sorry" I can't stop laughing though.
"Shut up" she tries to pull away so I hold her tighter.
"I am sorry, we'll try and get the vase done tomorrow."
She gives it a think before reluctantly agreeing, "eugh, fine."
I smile again and kiss her.
"Thank you."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't" I smirk at her.
"No, I don't" she smiles at me.
So beautiful.
We break apart and I take her hand.
"Come on, you've had enough stress for one day. We'll go for pizza or something."
She looks at me curiously, "is this you trying to ask me on a date?"
"Maybe", I'm such an idiot.
She quickly kisses me and smiles, "okay, but you're paying."
I literally couldn't care less, I'm just happy she's mine now.
"I can handle that."