Title: Shiver

Pairing: Howince

Summary: Howard thinks about his relationship with Vince.

Word Count: 905

Rating: G

Genre: Angst

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, and neither is the song Shiver. That's by Coldplay.

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

You sit on the couch, obviously feigning interest in what I'm saying in favour of the television. I don't let on that I know you're not listening to me, and I pretend to both you and myself that you are listening to every word I say, enraptured.

And on and on
From the moment I wake to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line just to see if you care

I don't know whether you know or not, but you're my best friend. I like to think you do know, because we've been together for a long time now. But you don't show it, and so I have my doubts. Sometimes I'm not even sure if you care about me at all.

Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

I know that you've changed over the past few years more than the rest of the time I've known you. I don't know if I myself have changed to compensate, but I probably have, even if it was just momentarily, on a whim because of something to do with you.

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

Sometimes I stay up late, just to make sure you come home in one piece. I like to hear you singing drunkenly at the top of your lungs from down the street. It's been a while since we last performed, just the two of us in our strange band, and I miss hearing you sing when we practice, when I'm your audience.

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you

I've told you so many times that I love you, and I've meant it every time. I don't think you know that, though, or maybe you think that I'm saying that I love you because you're my best friend. Either way, I'm not going to give up on you.

And on and on
From the moment I wake to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line just to see if you care

We've shared a room for so long, I think it'd be strange to wake up or go to sleep without the sounds of you sleeping in the room. I like the close companionship sharing a room brings; we comfort each other during bad dreams, and when we can't sleep we talk and crimp into the night. It's something you don't share with anyone but me.

Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

I know that I should refuse to do things for you instead of bowing down to your every whim, but I love you too much to be able to deal with your crocodile tears for too long. I know that you won't let them go on for too long, anyway, in case it ruins your makeup, but I still can't help it. Most of the time, though, all I have to do is look at you, your eyes big with a childlike naivety, and I can't bear to deny you anything.

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

We rarely go out places together any more, and I miss those times. Maybe you're ashamed to be seen with me. I want things to go back to how they used to be, when you didn't care as much about what everyone thought about you. I had hoped that after the whole encounter with The Flighty Zeus that you'd see reason, but to no avail. I know that soon another breakdown will come, like the one you had when Lance Dior first arrived on the scene, and I'll be ready to comfort you again.

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you, for you
I will always be waiting

Sometimes I dream that you admit to me that you love me. I hope that dreams do come true. Until then, I'll have to be satisfied with what we have. That's enough for me if I know I can't have you any other way.

And it's you I see but you don't see me
And it's you I hear so loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

No matter what you do, no matter what crazy escapades you drag me into, I'll always be there with you the whole way. That's how it's always been, and I don't plan on changing that any time soon.

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me

But you don't know how much you mean to me.