Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Hey guys, I'm back with another story revision! I really like this one even though it took forever. But anyway I hope you like it.
I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or the songs used in this fic.
Sixteen year old Yugi Motou walked down the hall beside his eighteen year old longtime boyfriend, Yami Sennen. You wouldn't think someone like Yugi would ever go out, or even be friends with someone like Yami.
Yami rode a motorcycle everywhere he went, he only wore black and chains, his crimson eyes were always lined in a thin layer of eyeliner and he cussed in every sentence. The school gave up on enforcing the dress code with Yami a long time ago. Yami and his two friends, Marik and Bakura were the trouble makers in school, they were constantly getting suspended. The three teenagers also loved to frequent parties and clubs, with no ambition and no cares in the world about their futures. Yugi's friends Malik and Ryou were dating the other two bad boys and Yugi was almost jealous of the way they were treated. It's like Bakura and Marik acted like dicks to everyone but their boyfriends and Yugi wished Yami was that was towards him.
Yugi was completely innocent compared to Yami. He wore the school uniform, had a group of close friends, was part of a band, never lied, and never disobeyed when a teacher told him to do something. He never partied, never did drugs or drank, he cussed only slightly, but hey he's been going out with the schools bad boy for three years now. Yugi was deeply in love with Yami but lately he's been questioning it…a lot.
Yugi held onto Yami's hand as they walked down the hallway, Yami in his tight black leather pants, and Yugi in his school uniform. Every time Yami saw someone he knew he stopped to do a fist pound with them and Yugi didn't care about the guys but the girls, that's what got to him. "Hey ladies" Yami said as they passed a group of cheerleaders. Yugi felt a flame of jealousy and anger start in his stomach. "Hey how ya doin, looking cute today girl" Yami said to another passing girl. Yugi's eyes narrowed out of anger and he clutched the strap of his book bag. "Hey Mai, had fun last night!" Yami said as they passed the most popular lead cheerleader, she flipped her blonde hair and smiled at Yami.
'What the hell? He told me he was home all night last night! When the hell was he with Mai? I bet he screwed her too, fucking lying ass.'
That was the end of Yugi's rope, he snatched his hand away from Yami's and walked as fast as he could away from the other teen. He saw Yami staring at him as he glanced back slightly. 'He's not even going to try and stop me!' Yugi thought to himself. It hurt him it really did, Yugi loved Yami with everything he has but is it not enough for him anymore? Or is it that Yami never even loved him in the first place?
Yugi walked into his junior homeroom class and flopped down in a chair beside his best friend Joey, who stopped his conversation with Ryou and Tristan to look over at his fuming friend and raise an eyebrow. "Yuge, what's wrong with ya?" he asked, Yugi turned and looked at Joey, still with the 'I wish I could kill you' glare on his face. Joey held his hands up and leaned away from his friend slightly, "whoa dude, I'm sorry I won't ask again"
Yugi sighed and put his head on his desk. "I'm sorry Joey, it's just the damn asshole I fell in love with again" He said.
Joey and the other two nodded; they knew what Yugi meant by that, the young boy had confided in his friends as well as his bandmates about Yami's behavior change towards him a while ago. Of course they all told him what he didn't want to hear, too dump his damn cheating ass, but Yugi needed to think about it and sort through his feelings before he made a decision. This was the first person he ever fell in love with, the guy he had all of his firsts with, he couldn't just leave him. Lately though, he just felt like Yami was giving him more and more reasons to leave. Ryou and Malik had even talked to Bakura and Marik about it and they noticed it too. The two older teens had said Yami ignored them when they had asked so they didn't know the reason why either.
Yugi kept telling himself that part of the reason Yami was acting like this was because he is and always starved of attention. Yami grew up with his older brother Atem, who was always with a new girl and never paid Yami any attention. Atem still says 'I don't know how my little brother turned out to be bi, he's so badass, he always said he only liked girls' but of course he claimed he was just playing but he never really was, both Yami and Yugi knew that. Yugi could see Yami's expression fall whenever Atem said anything, maybe that's why Yami stopped asking Yugi to come over. Their parents died when Yami was only seven, leaving the two boys with very little family, so Yugi felt like his boyfriend had a hole he needs something to fill. But it was getting to the point where Yugi didn't even know if Yami had a heart. It's just an endless circle of Yami screwing up and Yugi making excuses for him simply because he was so in love with the older boy that the thought of losing him brought on unbearable pain. Yugi knew that sometimes you have to let the people you love go to keep yourself sane.
The day drug by until it was lunch time and Yugi was sitting at his usual table with his best friends Ryou, Tristan, Joey, Malik, and Tea. Yugi wasn't eating he was too busy thinking about the decision he was making. Did he really love Yami? Or was it just pity for how much pain he had to go through? No he loved Yami more than life itself but like his grandpa had told him, love should bring so much more happiness than pain. As much as he loved the older boy Yugi was tired of crying himself to sleep at night when Yami said 'I love you, Yugi' and hung up the phone. He said it with so much raw emotion that Yugi couldn't help but believe him. The problem wasn't Yami's words, it was his actions and we all know that actions speak louder than words. Maybe it was time to end this painful relationship. And the perfect way to do that was the new song he wrote.
Tea looked at her friend and sighed. "Yugi you're not eating."
Yugi snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at his plate, his pizza, corn and fries were completely untouched. He smiled at his friend and shoved two or three fries in his mouth. "Yeth I am."
The gang laughed. "Hey Yuge, you comin to band practice tomorrow?" Joey asked.
Yugi looked up and smiled, swallowing his mouth full. "Of course I am, I'm the lead singer duhh" they all laughed until Joey stopped suddenly and narrowed his eyes.
Yugi noticed this first and turned around to look at what his best friend was glaring at. He saw Yami walk into the lunch room with Bakura and Marik. There was a girl glued to Yami's arm and Yugi felt the jealousy flame burn in his chest again when he saw it was Mai on his boyfriend's arm, jealousy was accompanied by pain at the sight. They walked over to the table with a bunch of their senior friends and sat down, which they normally do because Yami stopped sitting with Yugi a long time ago. Marik and Bakura had agreed with Malik and Ryou to sit separately at lunch, but every now and then the older boys would find their way over to have a conversation with their boyfriends. Yami completely ignored the fact that he had a boyfriend and slung his arm around the busty blonde and started a conversation with her.
Before Yugi could process what the hell he was doing he got up with his milk container and walked over to Yami. He had had it, this was enough, and he had gone through too much pain all ready.
Yugi's face grew into a death glare and his eyes burned to a dark purple color, his heart was burning with rage, jealousy, and pain. He walked up to Yami and pushed Mai and the chair she was in over before he went over to Yami pulled his shirt out enough, and poured the whole milk carton down his chest and stuffed the carton in before he ripped the necklace Yami gave him off his neck and dropped it in Yami's lap.
Yami friends were all laughing at what he just did, minus Bakura and Marik who knew this was coming. Yugi turned around and walked out of the cafeteria. His heart was shattered.
The group of friends had all comforted Yugi after the lunch room incident and found it very surprising that Yugi had not spoken to Yami since he poured milk all over him. He blocked Yami on everything and ignored him at school the next day. The younger boy had completely severed contact with his long-term boyfriend and Yami didn't seem to be okay with it because he had made many efforts to talk to Yugi, none worked. No matter how many times he called, Yugi never answered. Yugi had even started taking a different route to class so he wouldn't cross paths with the older boy.
Joey beat a random beat on his drums while they waited for Yugi to show up at practice.
"Hey guys how do you think he's doing?" Ryou asked while he plugged up his microphone and piano.
Malik shrugged, "He seemed okay today at lunch." He said while he tuned up his guitar.
Tea didn't say anything but she had a worried look on her face as she plugged in her own microphone.
Tristan was worried to as he sat in the corner on his phone, he didn't really have a place in the band but acted as a make-shift manager.
The group jumped when the door suddenly open and Yugi walked through it. Joey had to blink twice to make sure it really was Yugi. He now had on tight black leather pants, chains around his waist, a vest shirt showing off his newly probably spray tanned chest, his hair had blonde highlights through it now, and his eyes were crimson red instead of amethyst. What happened between school and now?
Yugi smiled at his friends, completely ignoring their stares and held up a few song sheets. "Hey guys, change of plans! I wrote some new songs for the talent show" he said and passed them out to his friends who studied them. Joey started to absent mindedly drumming the beat, while Malik and Ryou started to play it also. Tea hummed slightly into her mic.
Yugi smiled and plugged his microphone in. "Is it okay? The change doesn't bother any of you?
The band shook their heads. "No Yugi, anything you come up is always great." Joey said with a smile.
"Great! Now let's take it from the top and this time sing your parts" they all nodded and started playing it from the beginning.
Yugi: See I can't wake up I'm living a nightmare
That keeps playing over again
Locked in a room so hung up on you
And you're cool with just being friends
Joey: Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
And I can't see
All: Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Tea: See I'm just too scared to tell you the truth
Cause my heart ache can't take anymore
Broken and bruised longing for you
And I don't know what I'm waiting for
Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
Yugi and Tea: So just tell me
All: Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
All: Why don't you give me a reason? Tea: (give me a reason)
Please tell me the truth Tea: (Please tell me the truth)
You know that I'll keep believing Tea: (I'll keep believing)
Till I'm with you
All: Why don't you love me?
Kiss me, I can feel your heart tonight
It's killing me so
Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
Yugi: Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Yugi and Tea: Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Joey smiled and jumped up from his drum stool and ran over to Yugi and hugged him. "That was awesome Yuge! I loved it, did we do it right?" Joey asked his friend. The rest of the band had triumphant looks on their faces as well.
Yugi nodded and smiled. "Yeah guys! Tea your voice is so awesome! I'm glad too because the talent show is tomorrow night"
All his friends looked at him with shocked faces.
"Are you for real? I thought it was supposed to be next Friday!" Malik exclaimed.
Yugi nodded and pulled the new flyer out of his pocket and handed it over to Malik. "I know, they moved it up because the celebrity judge has to go out of town next week" Yugi explained. "All of the acts are pretty scared now."
The group looked at the paper for a few minutes before they all ran back to their instruments. "C'mon dude lets work on both new songs."
Yugi nodded and got to the middle of the stage they practice on. They had all worked hard to suit up Tristan's garage for band practice.
"Hit it" he yelled
Yugi: I wake up every evening
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And you're still probably working
At a nine to five pace
I wonder how bad that tastes
When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Now where's your picket fence love
And where's that shiny car
And did it ever get you far
You never seemed so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard
Do you know where you are
Joey: And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying
Yugi: When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on
Joey: And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying
Yugi: When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
Yugi:Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies
You can't look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well
All: When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
Yugi: When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
All: When you hear this song and you sing along but you never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song
I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along
Yugi: I hope that it puts you through hell
Yugi turned and smiled at his friends. "Thanks guys, I didn't think we could learn it in time but we did. It was awesome!"
The band practiced their songs a few more times, just enough to where they knew everything was perfect. They mainly preform at small parties and coffee houses, nothing crazy but with every gig came a major rehearsal session. This talent show could be their big break so they were taking no chances.
When Yugi said his goodbyes and left the garage first Joey turned and looked at his friends. "Yami really hurt him" he said as he put his drumsticks down. Ryou nodded and unplugged his piano and walked over to where Joey was leaning against the door. "Yugi really loves him,I know I would be just as hurt if Marik treated me that way." Malik said, joining the group. Joey shrugged and opened the door. "Let's just go home, there's nothing we can do for him. He has to go through this heartache on his own."
"But we will always have his back." Tea said, earning nods from her friends.
Yugi sat on his bed staring at his phone. It was showing Yami's picture and vibrating on his side table. It was the tenth time Yami's called, but Yugi was determined not to answer it. He would probably just sweet talk him into forgiving him and Yugi would end up changing his mind about the decision it took him so long to make. He loved Yami, he really, really did, but why waste time on a boy that acts like you don't even exist half the time, and is always hanging all over other girls when he's supposed to be somebody's boyfriend?
Yugi's phone vibrated again, causing the young boy to snap. Yugi grabbed it and answered it.
"Hello?" he practically yelled.
"Hey…. Aibou" Yami said nervously, he's never heard Yugi like this. He had come to the conclusion that it was his fault, he shouldn't be flirting with girls when he's Yugi's boyfriend. He loved his little one but he was weak. He made stupid mistakes because he cares too much about what other people think of him.
"Yugi" Yugi said
"Huh?"
"I'm Yugi to you now, you can't call me aibou anymore."
"But, Yugi I'm sorry for what I did, I really do love you it was just something that happened, please forgive me!" Yami begged.
Yugi smirked and shook his head. 'Your apologizing to me, it's too late for you to apologize'
"Yami, I do admit I love you to but I'm done watching my heart shatter every time I see you flirting with another girl. It's not even about the girls entirely. You've started treating me like I'm just some random boy that you're only friends with. Yami I am….I was your boyfriend, I didn't deserve to be treated like a piece of shit! Yami I'm done and there's so going back, just go straight and date one of them whores. Oh I know what about Mai she's single. Goodbye Yami. I love you"
"Yugi please don't." Yugi listened to Yami break down on the other end of the line, it hurt Yugi so much more to hear the older boy sob. "Please Hikari…..Please."
"I'm sorry Mou Hitori no Boku…" Yugi said before he hung up.
The tears were already running down his face, he let out a few sobs before he got up and walked into his bathroom. His chest was in so much pain that he couldn't breathe and his body was numb.
He fell into an old habit and unwrapped his razor blade and sat down on the floor. He slowly lowered in to his left forearm. He slowly dug it into his arm and carved 'Yami' into his skin. Thoughts and emotion swirled in Yugi's mind. He allowed himself to cut until it didn't hurt anymore before he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his arm before he walked into his room and lay down on his bed. It wasn't long before Yugi was asleep.
Yami lowered the phone from his ear and pressed the off button. His face was already drenched in tears and his eyes were blankly staring at the wall. He stood up suddenly, screamed, and chucked his phone at his wall busting it into a bunch of pieces.
Yami stood there for a minute thinking of how stupid he was, he drove Yugi away. He gave Yugi the knife and drove it through his heart at the same time. He had lost the love of his life and he was the one at fault. It was ALL him.
He collapsed on his bed sobbing. "Yugi please come back….please!"
The door suddenly opened and Atem's eyes trained on his younger brother who was rocking back and forth on his bed, sobs wracking his body. The older boy crossed the room and pulled the broken boy into his arms and rubbed his back.
"Yami what's wrong? What happened?" He asked. Even though Atem put it off that he didn't care about his sibling, he really did.
"I….I….lost him Ate….I lost my Yugi." Yami sobbed. His voice sounded more pained than Atem had ever heard it. His heart ached for the broken boy.
"Hey." Atem said, pulling Yami's face up and wiping the tears away. "Tell me what happened."
Yami sat up and tried his best to bring himself together enough to explain to his brother what happened.
"I just got sick of it Ate. I had people at school in my ear constantly telling me I should be with girls, and I know you don't approve of me being with Yugi….I just got caught up in high school and then uncle Matt found out and he totally flipped out on me. I just….I just wanted everyone to like me. I was so caught up in myself that I neglected Yugi and now he's gone…." Yami said, breaking down again.
Atem nodded. He knew Yami had always been obsessed with wanting everyone to like him. He was never liked when he was younger and once puberty and high school hit he matured into a handsome young man and every girl was hanging on him. He changed the way he dressed and became a totally different person. Atem knew when Yami came home one day when he was a sophomore and first introduced him to seventh grade Yugi that his little brother was madly in love. It's not that he didn't approve of Yami's relationship, it was just that he didn't want this to end up happening. He didn't want Yami to end up hurt, and Atem knew that where there was love there was hurt. Yami didn't deal with pain very well, he allowed it to tear him up inside.
"Yami it's not that I didn't or don't approve. It's just that I didn't want you to end up hurt. I knew the first time that I met Yugi that he was the first person you would fall in love with. You know that since we were young that where there is love there is pain. You never handle pain very well Yams." Atem said, pulling Yami back into his arms. "And Yami….you can fix this. If Yugi truly loves you and you love him like I know you do then fix this."
Yami smiled slightly through his tears. "I will. Thank you Ate."
The next day Yugi woke up earlier than he usually does, there wasn't really a reason for it. Well maybe it was because he was excited and nervous about the talent show today.
He got up out of his bed and walked over to his closet. He grabbed his black muscle shirt, black leather pants, studded arm bands and choker, his metal cross necklace, and his leather jacket. Yugi didn't notice or remember cutting himself last night or the towel wrapped around his arm until he got to the bathroom.
He unwrapped his arm and stared at what was now in graved into it. 'Yami' was neatly cut into his left forearm, it was so neat it looked like Yugi could have written it, but the nasty scab, cuts and blood smeared around it showed it was indeed cut into his arm.
Yugi got in the shower and stared at his arm while he let the water run over his body. All the good, bad and in between memories of Yami came flooding back to him, and before he knew it he had tears running down his face, he tried to hold it back for a few minutes before he collapsed onto the ground of the shower. Waves of pain tore through his small frame. He was so mad at Yami for doing this to him. Yugi felt completely numb and lost and he just wanted the pain to go away.
"I can't unlove you
My heart can't unbreak
I can't unfeel how it felt
too feel so much myself,
My whole body ached
And I can't unknow this
Lord, I wish I knew how
But I can't unlove you
So come love me for now…."
Yugi sung the song with so much pain and emotion that it brought tears to his grandpa's eyes from his position outside the door. He had come up to check on Yugi and found he was in the shower sobbing. He had assumed from all the frantic calls from Yami and this morning's sobbing spell that his grandson had broken up with his long term boyfriend. Solomon knew he needed to allow Yugi to go through this heartache to come out stronger on the other side, but it didn't stop the pain he felt for his grandson. He turned and made his way back down the stairs to wait for the young boy to come down for breakfast.
It was twelve before Yugi got to school because of all the talking and crying he had done with his grandpa earlier that morning. He had made sure to cover his arm with his leather jacket though. He was running as fast as he could to the auditorium because he and the band were on in ten minutes. He had missed the other acts but he honestly hadn't wanted to see them anyway. Yugi could probably bet that the rest of the school didn't want to see the show either, they were just happy to be out of class.
Yugi ran into the auditorium and straight backstage. Joey spotted him first and ran over to him. "Dude where have you been? We go on in ten minutes." Joey said, while taking Yugi's ear piece off the rack and throwing it over to him. "I know Joey! My grandpa and me were talking and lost track of time!"
The announcer, announced that Zach was done and now it was time for the four aces to perform. Everyone scattered to get to their places, just as the curtains opened.
The first thing Yugi's eyes saw was Yami. He was sitting in the front row, and when the curtains opened his eyes widened, but Yugi just smirked.
The music started and Yugi smiled.
They performed 'Why don't you love me?' and stood there for a few minutes while the crowd clapped and cheered. The school had always loved them.
Yugi smiled at the cheering crowd. There was almost the whole town in the school auditorium. Yugi put his microphone back in the stand. "Okay this next song was written for the boy I thought I loved but I realize now that I was wrong." He said as they started playing 'Gives you hell.'
Everyone stood up and cheered when Yugi was done. They were chanting 'four aces, four aces' Joey, Malik, Tea and Ryou joined Yugi and they bowed. Out of the corner of his eye Yugi could see Yami walking out of the auditorium, but he didn't care, did he?
Yami walked into the bathroom and slammed the wooden door shut behind him. The tears were already welling up in his eyes, but he knew it was his fault. He drove Yugi away, he shattered Yugi's heart, and Yugi wasn't going to let him help pick up the pieces. How could he fix this when Yugi wouldn't even talk to him?
He walked over and leaned against the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. The only thing he could think about was how much he loved and needed his little one. He raised a hand and punched the wall and slid down to rest on the floor, tears drenching his face.
Yugi walked down the hall after the performance. As soon as the curtains closed he felt the pain again. Did he love Yami? Yes. Did he want to be with Yami? Yes. Could he possibly have a chance to get back with Yami? I don't know. All the questions were running through his head, but he didn't have an answer to half of them. Would he be stupid to say he regretted leaving the older boy? He couldn't deal with the time he would be in this much pain.
He pushed the bathroom door opened and his eyes widened. Yami was sitting on the floor, his shoulders shaking and agonizing cries escaping his mouth. "Do I do this?..." Yugi whispered.
Yami heard him and looked up, his eyes blood shot from crying. "Aibou…."
Yugi felt all of his defenses crumble to piece and he ran forward into Yami's arms and sobbed along with the other boy. Yami burred his face in Yugi's hair, breathing in the scent of his shampoo that he always loved.
"Yugi I'm so sorry…. I'm so fucking sorry!" Yami sobbed, he brought Yugi's face up to look at him. "I was so scared and worried about what my family and everyone thought about me I forgot you were the only person whose opinion mattered. I'm so sorry. Yugi, I know I've hurt you. I know I've probably lost my chance with the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Yugi I love you…..please don't leave me!" When he finished talking he studied Yugi's face, to see it hadn't changed since before he started talking.
Yugi sighed. They couldn't just go back to how things were, he was to hurt for that. Yugi nodded at Yami and unzipped his leather jacket slowly. "Yami I know you still love me, and I know I can't deny the fact that I still love you. But we can't just go back to how things were. You've hurt me a lot…..But I can't lose you Yami, so let's take things slow and see where it goes?" He got his jacket off and turned his wrist up so Yami could see it. "Yami I can't live without you in my life but I need time to piece my heart back together."
Yami stared at Yugi's arm for a few minutes before he took it and brought it up to kiss it. He knew of Yugi's past with self-harm and it made him nauseous to think he caused Yugi this much pain. He looked back up into Yugi's eyes. "Thank you Yugi" he said before he pulled Yugi back into a hug.
Whew. I'm finally done with chapter one. I got this idea while listening to 'why don't you love me' on the radio so I just wrote it. Review and tell me what you think.
The songs are "Why don't you love me?" by Hot Chelle Rae ft. Demi Lovato and "Gives you hell by All American rejects."