Fighting by SmartAlexia
Email: morvan_e@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer : I don't own them, let me live.
Pairing: Max/Alec
Feedback: I would really love that !
Thanks to: 1) Kiwichick for beta-ing my fic, first off. That really too great of you, doing that for me 2) for all of you that are reviewing. You don't know how much I appreciate it ! 3) the Nuns With Pens for being such a great group of writers.
Fighting. Some people thought it was the only thing they could do. Fighting together, fighting against each other. It would begin innocently, with good intentions, but always finish like that. Him on the floor, and her, crushing him down. But that night, he didn't felt like arguing. So when she came to him, and began talking, it didn't take long for his blood to boil in his veins.
Coming over to him, she already knew what she was going to say. Pushing a few strands of hair off her eyes, she looked at him, hands on her hips, eyes angry. "Why did you do that ?"
He sighed, and drowned his last mouthful of Scotch. "Because I had to."
Her eyes widened. "You had to ? You HAD to ? Don't tell me you had to, Alec. Don't tell me you had to kill someone. You didn't have orders. You don't have orders anymore, you don't have to anymore."
He remained calm, his eyes on the barman. "No I didn't. But I had to, because this man was the man who gave me orders, and who put me into re- indoctrination, who put me into psy-ops. I didn't have to, right. I wanted to."
"Logan and I wanted him to stay alive, Alec. I wanted to talk to him. But no. No, you had to make your own vengeance."
He nodded simply in response.
She groaned. "My God you're so irresponsible !" And with that, she punched him on the shoulder and began to walk away. In a quick movement he took her wrist in his hands, and she turned sharply. He led her outside, under the pouring rain. And then the fighting began. She would launch an attack, he would block it. Then he would block another. And another. Launching too from time to time to made her think he was fighting back. And she finished by twisting his arms in his back, to prevent him to move. But tonight he wanted her to understand that he was a better soldier than her. So, with a sharp turn of his left wrist, he disentangled himself and soon she was against the wall, his hand on her throat.
"Don't ever forget that I spent ten years more than you at Manticore. So, maybe you don't see it, but I am better than you, and I will always be. Ten fucking years, Max ! You will never know what this man you so wanted to talk to had done to me in ten years. To me and to so many others ! You can even begin to understand, because when you and your little family were out, we stayed there."
He loosened his grip, and she instinctively put her hands on her throat, but she didn't have marks. He could have killed her, but his hands didn't even left marks.
"I'm sorry."
He turned to her, droplets of water trickling down his face and hair. With the rain, she couldn't see the remains of tears in his eyes, and he was happy with that. "And for what are you sorry ?" His couldn't control his anger. Not anymore. "Are you sorry because you escaped and that lead us other transgenics to be punished for you ? Are you sorry because you just told me that I would have done better than to kill the man who haunt my nights ? Or are you sorry because you didn't think that in ten years they did something to us ? TELL ME WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR MAX !"
Her voice was a whisper, but his enhanced hearing picked up her sentence. "I'm sorry for everything."
His crossed his arms. His black shirt was sticking to his torso, and showed his hard muscles. He was tense, she could see. "That's great Max. I am sorry too. I know that killing him doesn't serve you, but I couldn't help myself. I had to. Really."
She was understanding now, why he blocked himself from the world. With his "I'm always alright", with his cocky grins and winks. He didn't want the world to think that he cared. He didn't want the world to know that he had a heart, that he had nightmares, that he had fears.
"I'm sorry that you killed him, but I understand. Just, tell me something, Alec. Why do you always let me win when we fight?"
He sighed. "Because I don't want to hurt you. Because I do care. And because I want you to feel like you can beat everybodys ass if you need to. Because you had to feel like that to succeed in your Eyes-Only missions. And if you think that him or him can beat you, you're going to fail. And because I care, I don't want you to get hurt."
She was taken aback by his words. But he was right. Their fights did gave her self-confidence. "I...I didn't know that."
He gave her his cocky grin. "You weren't meant to."
She sighed, and looked at the sky, as the rain continued to fall. "We are going to be soaked to the bones."
He shrugged his shoulders. He could see that she was trying to change the subject. But he had another thing to say. What he had said wasn't fair, and he knew it. "Max. It's the second time you've change the topic. You are sorry, and I am too. I'm not fair. If I could have, I would have followed you that night. I saw my friends, my siblings, taken away from me because of their seizures, too. I saw the transhumans, too. And if that was already too hard for you to support, then it's all good you've went away. Because you wouldn't have handled the others things I saw. Or the things they did to me and my siblings. Or the missions. Never. You've too much feelings."
She approached him. His eyes were looking at his feet, and the drops of water trickled from his nose. She hooked one finger under his chin, and lifted his eyes until they met hers. "You too. You were....programmed to feel nothing, and yet you still fell in love. You were told not to attach yourself, but you couldn't control it. Don't think of yourself like a robot or a soldier, Alec. You're more than that. And if you let someone tell you what to do, or what to think, beat his ass. Even me." She let him go with a smile.
"So you don't mean it when you said I'm a fuck up ?" His eyes held a hopeful, almost childish look.
She imitated his grin, and cocked an eyebrow. "It depends on the moments."
He let out a laugh, and engulfed her in a hug. She responded quickly, sighing contently. Friendship and relationships had to be built, but you need to begin somewhere. And with them, it was always in the fight.
Email: morvan_e@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer : I don't own them, let me live.
Pairing: Max/Alec
Feedback: I would really love that !
Thanks to: 1) Kiwichick for beta-ing my fic, first off. That really too great of you, doing that for me 2) for all of you that are reviewing. You don't know how much I appreciate it ! 3) the Nuns With Pens for being such a great group of writers.
Fighting. Some people thought it was the only thing they could do. Fighting together, fighting against each other. It would begin innocently, with good intentions, but always finish like that. Him on the floor, and her, crushing him down. But that night, he didn't felt like arguing. So when she came to him, and began talking, it didn't take long for his blood to boil in his veins.
Coming over to him, she already knew what she was going to say. Pushing a few strands of hair off her eyes, she looked at him, hands on her hips, eyes angry. "Why did you do that ?"
He sighed, and drowned his last mouthful of Scotch. "Because I had to."
Her eyes widened. "You had to ? You HAD to ? Don't tell me you had to, Alec. Don't tell me you had to kill someone. You didn't have orders. You don't have orders anymore, you don't have to anymore."
He remained calm, his eyes on the barman. "No I didn't. But I had to, because this man was the man who gave me orders, and who put me into re- indoctrination, who put me into psy-ops. I didn't have to, right. I wanted to."
"Logan and I wanted him to stay alive, Alec. I wanted to talk to him. But no. No, you had to make your own vengeance."
He nodded simply in response.
She groaned. "My God you're so irresponsible !" And with that, she punched him on the shoulder and began to walk away. In a quick movement he took her wrist in his hands, and she turned sharply. He led her outside, under the pouring rain. And then the fighting began. She would launch an attack, he would block it. Then he would block another. And another. Launching too from time to time to made her think he was fighting back. And she finished by twisting his arms in his back, to prevent him to move. But tonight he wanted her to understand that he was a better soldier than her. So, with a sharp turn of his left wrist, he disentangled himself and soon she was against the wall, his hand on her throat.
"Don't ever forget that I spent ten years more than you at Manticore. So, maybe you don't see it, but I am better than you, and I will always be. Ten fucking years, Max ! You will never know what this man you so wanted to talk to had done to me in ten years. To me and to so many others ! You can even begin to understand, because when you and your little family were out, we stayed there."
He loosened his grip, and she instinctively put her hands on her throat, but she didn't have marks. He could have killed her, but his hands didn't even left marks.
"I'm sorry."
He turned to her, droplets of water trickling down his face and hair. With the rain, she couldn't see the remains of tears in his eyes, and he was happy with that. "And for what are you sorry ?" His couldn't control his anger. Not anymore. "Are you sorry because you escaped and that lead us other transgenics to be punished for you ? Are you sorry because you just told me that I would have done better than to kill the man who haunt my nights ? Or are you sorry because you didn't think that in ten years they did something to us ? TELL ME WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR MAX !"
Her voice was a whisper, but his enhanced hearing picked up her sentence. "I'm sorry for everything."
His crossed his arms. His black shirt was sticking to his torso, and showed his hard muscles. He was tense, she could see. "That's great Max. I am sorry too. I know that killing him doesn't serve you, but I couldn't help myself. I had to. Really."
She was understanding now, why he blocked himself from the world. With his "I'm always alright", with his cocky grins and winks. He didn't want the world to think that he cared. He didn't want the world to know that he had a heart, that he had nightmares, that he had fears.
"I'm sorry that you killed him, but I understand. Just, tell me something, Alec. Why do you always let me win when we fight?"
He sighed. "Because I don't want to hurt you. Because I do care. And because I want you to feel like you can beat everybodys ass if you need to. Because you had to feel like that to succeed in your Eyes-Only missions. And if you think that him or him can beat you, you're going to fail. And because I care, I don't want you to get hurt."
She was taken aback by his words. But he was right. Their fights did gave her self-confidence. "I...I didn't know that."
He gave her his cocky grin. "You weren't meant to."
She sighed, and looked at the sky, as the rain continued to fall. "We are going to be soaked to the bones."
He shrugged his shoulders. He could see that she was trying to change the subject. But he had another thing to say. What he had said wasn't fair, and he knew it. "Max. It's the second time you've change the topic. You are sorry, and I am too. I'm not fair. If I could have, I would have followed you that night. I saw my friends, my siblings, taken away from me because of their seizures, too. I saw the transhumans, too. And if that was already too hard for you to support, then it's all good you've went away. Because you wouldn't have handled the others things I saw. Or the things they did to me and my siblings. Or the missions. Never. You've too much feelings."
She approached him. His eyes were looking at his feet, and the drops of water trickled from his nose. She hooked one finger under his chin, and lifted his eyes until they met hers. "You too. You were....programmed to feel nothing, and yet you still fell in love. You were told not to attach yourself, but you couldn't control it. Don't think of yourself like a robot or a soldier, Alec. You're more than that. And if you let someone tell you what to do, or what to think, beat his ass. Even me." She let him go with a smile.
"So you don't mean it when you said I'm a fuck up ?" His eyes held a hopeful, almost childish look.
She imitated his grin, and cocked an eyebrow. "It depends on the moments."
He let out a laugh, and engulfed her in a hug. She responded quickly, sighing contently. Friendship and relationships had to be built, but you need to begin somewhere. And with them, it was always in the fight.