The Pointless story
By: John Keegan
We come upon our trio of shinobi training out on Naruto's favorite training spot. They are facing off against each other in one-on-one battles. The first ones to battle are Naruto and Sasuke. They begin by throwing a fist at each other, which they both catch. Then they kick off, and Sasuke throws three kunais at Naruto. Naruto readies himself, but suddenly the kunais turn into chicken wings. They slam the stunned Naruto in the head.
"Owww! What the heck?" Naruto screamed. He looked over at the equally stunned Sasuke who now had chicken legs. Neither of them seemed to notice or care though, about Sasuke's legs. Sakura, meanwhile, was off hugging a tree, and did not notice.
"What's going on?" Sasuke said. He was frantically looking around for someone who was perhaps playing a trick on him, when a pirate holding three large pepperoni pizzas, stepped out of the trees.
"I am the great and powerful Ecknocokis! I eat chicken!" he screamed. Sakura turned around with a huge grin on her face, and ran over to hug him. "My niece is finally here!" she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around his leg.
Annoyed, the pirate kicked her off. He ran towards Sasuke and immediately began knawing at his legs. Even though Sasuke felt the love, he shoved a kunai into each of the pirates four eyes. The pirate ran off screaming "Why is the sky blue?!" into the bushes and disappeared.
They watched him, as everything became normal once again. But one thing that was not normal, was the group of black clouds that was quickly approaching them. The clouds finally made it to the group and formed a circle directly over their training area. Out of the center of the circle, shot a lightning bolt, which carried the evil Orochimaru. He appeared where the lightning bolt had struck the ground, but was wearing one of those little headbands with antennae balls on springs that bop back and forth.
"I challenge you, Sasuke!" he said. Then, out of nowhere, a rock wall appeared, along with a helmet for both of them.
"But what about the Easter bunny?" Sasuke said, pointing at the giant rabbit squatting next to Naruto.
"He will have to wait his turn," replied Orochimaru, "just like the ambulances,"
So they began climbing, but this was made difficult by the chickens falling from the top. One of the chickens fell and hit Sasuke, and he shrieked in terror. He lost his grip of the wall and fell off into your normal, everyday giant bowl of ramen that just happened to be right below the rock wall. He would have drowned, had Naruto not eaten all of the contents of the bowl.
Orochimaru meanwhile, reached the top and stuck his finger up his ass to prove it. Then Sakura ran over to hug him and lick his thigh. But she too lost her grip and fell into the bowl with Sasuke. Despite the fact that she had a concussion, she made out with him anyway, and they all lived happily ever after, dancing to the pop music of ABBA.