A/N 1 – While I wouldn't necessarily call it bad, I can also say that this one might cover some topics others are sensitive to.
This story deals with PTSD and while I know enough about PTSD to get by, I also don't know enough about a SOLDIERS form of PTSD. So, if this isn't exactly your forte than there is this thing called a back button and you can always use that to escape this story.
On to some other topics. For those who follow me, I posted a lighter, probably slightly more stupid story about a week ago. If you want light and funny with a side order of Jay injured, than I recommend you go read that!
On another happier note. For all of my readers who have followed me for at least three months now know that my dad has MS. He has been on medical leave, but fortunately is about to head back to work. While it is still serious, we all seem to be coping and for all of you who sent prayers, THANK YOU SO MUCH. My gratitude can't be shown in only a few pages of writing. So thank you all!
Now, on with the story!
~CHICAGO PD~
When he dreams, if he dreams, it isn't ever just a dream, it's more like a nightmare.
The first of these nightmares happened when he was still stationed overseas. It had been right after his convoy had driven over an IED, leaving 4 of his friends – no, his brothers – dead. There had only been a few people he had let into his personal life and into his bubble at that point, and those men had been most of them. It had been a miracle he survived with nothing more than a few bumps, bruises, and scratches, and he had lived to be able to tell the tale.
And relive every night in his dreams.
Eventually he was able to slowly push the event to the back of his mind, but only for another trying event to happen to him. This time he made the mistake of shooting a kid. The child had been used as a distraction and as soon as he found out, he alerted his C.O.'s, but the C.O.'s orders and his orders had been clear.
The kid died, along with most others who had resided in that town. The bomb that he and his team had been sent to disarm had gone off anyways, and a town of innocents were lost.
His team had had a hard time getting over that one, and eventually Halsteads nightmares had grown to a point where his C.O.'s decided that when his second tour ended, they wouldn't pressure him into coming back, and he didn't exactly want to stay.
So he didn't. He went home for the first time in eight years.
Now, he found himself in a position to be happy again. Now he had a woman to strive for, and a job to live for, but the job often came with a price.
The doctor had said it was PTSD that had made him stop short that day. The day that he had watched a man shoot out the brains of a twelve year old boy right in front of him and his team. His mind immediately thought back to the desert, and to the little boy who had a whole life ahead of him cut short by his own bullet.
Jay wasn't able to hear the voices calling out to him as he somehow fell to the ground. For whatever reason, one moment he was looking up at the desert sky and the next, he was looking up at Erin.
Her voice was garbled as he stared up at her lips with morbid fascination. It wasn't until a flash of pain suddenly sprouted from his stomach was he finally able to hear those around him.
" – give up, OK? I got you, you just hang in there." Erins soothing words were like water running in a creek through his brain as he slowly began to see specks of darkness begin to fill his vision.
"No, no, no, no, no, no! Don't you close those eyes! Don't you do this to me! To the team! Come on, open tho-" Once again Erin's voice was whited out as he looked up into the pinkish-orangish sunset that was reflecting off of the Chicago skyline.
It was the last thing he saw, before his eyes slipped close, and the darkness surrounded him.
The first thing he saw as he opened his eyes was the sun. The sun that was dancing along the dunes of the desert, begging people to come closer until it traps them and eventually kills them. He slowly sat up and the second thing he saw was a town, a small Middle Eastern town that was nestled in the middle of a couple of dunes.
It was quick, but not quick enough so that Jay couldn't see it. A muzzle flash on the top of one dune, which led to the whole town suddenly beginning to rumble and suddenly collapse into a pile of rubble.
Jay jumped up and began to trudge towards the town as suddenly a Humvee was racing towards him. It got within 20 feet of him when once again the ground shook and the Humvee was suddenly taking an unexpected flight. The Humvee crashed into the depths of the city and Jay watched with a frightened expression on his face as it went up in flames and he could hear the cries for help dying out until there was only one left.
He strained himself as he listened to the screams and had a sudden realization as he realized that it was his voice that was screaming. Suddenly his body went up in flames that slowly ate away at his flesh, and then he himself was screaming and yelling and calling out for help.
He danced around until exhaustion set in and once again he was laying down on the burning sand, but he didn't care anymore. Slowly, he saw people marching towards him. He recognized them as his army buddies that never made it home.
He called out for their help, but they walked past him vacantly, and soon he was alone.
And then he wasn't.
The boy was 6 at the oldest, but he had a hard set face, that made him look 16. He slowly walked up to Jay and ran a hand down Jay's body and stopped at his stomach. Jay groaned weakly and didn't care as he felt tears stream out of his eyes. The boy suddenly slammed his fist down into his stomach. The pain was excruciating, and Jay cried out.
Then the boy moved up and looked Jay in the eyes as he pressed his fingers into his throat. Harder and harder until Jay could no longer breathe.
"Breathe JAY! Breathe!"
The boy's face slowly morphed into Erin's face and Jay slowly started to calm down. He could feel his wet eyelashes against his skin as he blinked, trying to wake up.
"'rin?" Jay croaked. Erin shushed him and wiped his cheeks with her thumbs.
"Calm down Jay. It was just a nightmare." Erin soothed as she began to rub his cheeks and his hair.
" 'hat h'pened?"
"You got yourself shot, but it's OK, you are far more alive than the other guy. Do you remember what happened?" Erin tried to smile, but the bags under her eyes made Halstead wonder what all had occurred, but he suddenly remembered.
"A kid?"
Erin nodded her head solemnly and Halstead breathed out a long breath. "Can you sleep with me?" Jay asked as he scooted over carefully, making enough room for Erin. Erin nodded and slowly slipped onto the bed and under the covers. She wrapped an arm around Halsteads waist, and another arm under his head, letting him use it as a pillow. She stared at the side of his head, until he turned it, staring right back at her.
No words were spoken as the two slowly got closer to each other, and their lips met slowly, with a light release of breath as they touched.
Jay pulled away first as he slowly got his breath back, and Erin watched him slowly fall back asleep. She smiled softly as he cuddled into her like a child would, than slowly rubbed his leg comfortingly. With one last, light kiss against his forehead, Erin too allowed herself the luxury of sleep.
~Chicago PD~
A/N 2- There you have it. The third one shot I have written for the Chicago PD fandom, but don't worry, I do have a multi chaptered fic heading your way, just give me time to type it all up.
Once again, if you guys have an idea for a story that you would like to see, let me hear it. I have one on the back burner right now because I am trying to figure out where to take it, but besides that, I am all for some prompts!
Anyways! Have a great day! And thanks again for reading.
Just a reminder – Bubbles and I are VERY appreciative of reviews, so if you find a morsel of spare time let me hear it!
~Tayler~