Disclaimer: Babe, if I owned this I wouldn't be writing it here would I?
Enough said.
A/N: This will be quirky and hopefully light hearted and interesting. There may be some language and stuff (stuff being naughty stuff) but you know, you've seen it all before. Then again there may not be and it may be all sunshine and flowers. Am not entirely sure, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Oh and also when people are thinking stuff in their heads that is part of the dialogue, this will be signified by this " ~ " simply cuz.
No onward my pretties onward!
DRAG QUEENS
By Queen.
"I cannot believe we are on the run," panted Harry as he ran hurriedly after the figure of Draco Malfoy.
"Well, what do you expect after I bust you out of our only dungeon, not being to careful of the architecture I might add, renounce Voldemort and his evil ways and tell my dad to go shag himself basically" gasped back a thoroughly puffed Draco.
"Well, there's no one answer to that."said Harry carefully. Words were getting hard now between the puffing and the panting "But he's your father, it can't just be, y'know, 'that' . can it?" Harry finished.
That Malfoy's had always seemed such a happy family to him.
"Well, that and I told him I was gay" Draco mused, slowing to a brisk walk now.
"Ya waaa?!?!?!?" exclaimed a startled Harry trotting quickly to keep up with the brisk walk of Draco.
"Oh relax, I don't find you at all attractive" assured Draco.
"Well, uh, of course not" said Harry dismissively
~Why not?~ a voice in his head asked.
~Why not what?~
~He doesn't find me attractive? Wait, Draco Malfoy is gay!~
~Yeah, weren't you listening?~
~The guy all the girls want and all the guys want to be is.gay!~
~What gave it away?~
~.~
~Was it the flamboyant hairstyle? The lean toned body? The black fishnet tank top? Oh please tell me it was the black fishnet tank top! ~
"Oh shut up!"
"Huh?" Draco looked up.
"Huh? Oh, uh, pep talk, y'no, 'Oh shut up.and run like hell.from the baaa- ad guys'" chanted Harry striking a cheerleader pose at the end of his little routine.
Draco just looked at him as if he had just taken of all his clothes and started to dance the mambo with Mariah Carey.
I'm not happy Lucius, I'm very not happy".
Lucius looked up and stared at Voldemort. What the hell?!?!?! He wasn't happy?! He! Him! Did he think Lucius was having a whale of a time or something?! Oh yes Dark Lord this is just the best fun iv had since Medusa went global! And now if you'd just gouge out my eyes and make me give you a lap dance that would just be peachy!
Sighing he said, " We're working on tracking down the duo My Lord, I assure you".
"Ah yes, your son is with the fugitive isn't he?
Thank.You.Dark.Lord fumed Lucius. Like having my only son tell me he's gay isn't bad enough, he then has to go and renounce all evil!
"Yes, Sir he is" Lucius replied dully.
At that moment a small sob came from the corner of the room. Sighing and rolling their eyes simultaneously both men turned to look at the distraught Narcissa.
"Oh Lucius! He's GAY!" she cried.
Breathe Lucius, Breathe.
"Yes, dear, for the hundredth time, he is indeed gay".
A glass-shattering wail erupted from the horrified Narcissa. Both men winced and clamped their hands over their ears.
"Is it because I didn't love him enough?" she asked desperately "I mean I didn't want to smother him! Is it his way of crying out for attention?"
Moaning Lucius sat down motioning for Voldemort to follow suit. These things could (and did) go on forever. It happened whenever Narcissa had a guilt trip about her parenting skills to her only son.
"I should have seen it! I mean, if a boy can't confide in his own mother who can he confide in?"
Here she paused for breath and then launched into how buying your son teddy bear pyjamas and condoms was just never the way to go.
Again both men sighed rolled their eyes and waited for her to finish.
"So, were like, on the run now?" asked Harry.
"Yeah, we'll be hunted like animals I expect," mused Draco, a concept he didn't seem overly worried about. Harry stared at him as they trotted along to the nearest town.
"An- animals?" he stuttered. The thought did not appeal to him.
"Yeah, we'll have to get disguises. they'll be looking for us, they'll know are faces" informed Draco knowledgably.
"Oh! Like pirates!" cried Harry excitedly.
"Um, no, something more low key I think"
They were now in the town, a small little homely place that seemed relatively empty. They wondered around the streets in the velvet darkness that marked 11:30 pm.
"Hey! I think I found us our disguises!" cried Draco running over to a shop.
Intrigued Harry followed peering up at the name.
"BIG JOES COSTUMES" read the red and blue lettering. In the window 3 manikins stood dressed in various skirts and dresses with feather boas draped around them.
"Harry, were gonna be Drag Queens!" crowed Draco delightedly. Harry stood staring at the glittering red and blue dresses that stood in the window.
A/N: This will be quirky and hopefully light hearted and interesting. There may be some language and stuff (stuff being naughty stuff) but you know, you've seen it all before. Then again there may not be and it may be all sunshine and flowers. Am not entirely sure, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Oh and also when people are thinking stuff in their heads that is part of the dialogue, this will be signified by this " ~ " simply cuz.
No onward my pretties onward!
DRAG QUEENS
By Queen.
"I cannot believe we are on the run," panted Harry as he ran hurriedly after the figure of Draco Malfoy.
"Well, what do you expect after I bust you out of our only dungeon, not being to careful of the architecture I might add, renounce Voldemort and his evil ways and tell my dad to go shag himself basically" gasped back a thoroughly puffed Draco.
"Well, there's no one answer to that."said Harry carefully. Words were getting hard now between the puffing and the panting "But he's your father, it can't just be, y'know, 'that' . can it?" Harry finished.
That Malfoy's had always seemed such a happy family to him.
"Well, that and I told him I was gay" Draco mused, slowing to a brisk walk now.
"Ya waaa?!?!?!?" exclaimed a startled Harry trotting quickly to keep up with the brisk walk of Draco.
"Oh relax, I don't find you at all attractive" assured Draco.
"Well, uh, of course not" said Harry dismissively
~Why not?~ a voice in his head asked.
~Why not what?~
~He doesn't find me attractive? Wait, Draco Malfoy is gay!~
~Yeah, weren't you listening?~
~The guy all the girls want and all the guys want to be is.gay!~
~What gave it away?~
~.~
~Was it the flamboyant hairstyle? The lean toned body? The black fishnet tank top? Oh please tell me it was the black fishnet tank top! ~
"Oh shut up!"
"Huh?" Draco looked up.
"Huh? Oh, uh, pep talk, y'no, 'Oh shut up.and run like hell.from the baaa- ad guys'" chanted Harry striking a cheerleader pose at the end of his little routine.
Draco just looked at him as if he had just taken of all his clothes and started to dance the mambo with Mariah Carey.
I'm not happy Lucius, I'm very not happy".
Lucius looked up and stared at Voldemort. What the hell?!?!?! He wasn't happy?! He! Him! Did he think Lucius was having a whale of a time or something?! Oh yes Dark Lord this is just the best fun iv had since Medusa went global! And now if you'd just gouge out my eyes and make me give you a lap dance that would just be peachy!
Sighing he said, " We're working on tracking down the duo My Lord, I assure you".
"Ah yes, your son is with the fugitive isn't he?
Thank.You.Dark.Lord fumed Lucius. Like having my only son tell me he's gay isn't bad enough, he then has to go and renounce all evil!
"Yes, Sir he is" Lucius replied dully.
At that moment a small sob came from the corner of the room. Sighing and rolling their eyes simultaneously both men turned to look at the distraught Narcissa.
"Oh Lucius! He's GAY!" she cried.
Breathe Lucius, Breathe.
"Yes, dear, for the hundredth time, he is indeed gay".
A glass-shattering wail erupted from the horrified Narcissa. Both men winced and clamped their hands over their ears.
"Is it because I didn't love him enough?" she asked desperately "I mean I didn't want to smother him! Is it his way of crying out for attention?"
Moaning Lucius sat down motioning for Voldemort to follow suit. These things could (and did) go on forever. It happened whenever Narcissa had a guilt trip about her parenting skills to her only son.
"I should have seen it! I mean, if a boy can't confide in his own mother who can he confide in?"
Here she paused for breath and then launched into how buying your son teddy bear pyjamas and condoms was just never the way to go.
Again both men sighed rolled their eyes and waited for her to finish.
"So, were like, on the run now?" asked Harry.
"Yeah, we'll be hunted like animals I expect," mused Draco, a concept he didn't seem overly worried about. Harry stared at him as they trotted along to the nearest town.
"An- animals?" he stuttered. The thought did not appeal to him.
"Yeah, we'll have to get disguises. they'll be looking for us, they'll know are faces" informed Draco knowledgably.
"Oh! Like pirates!" cried Harry excitedly.
"Um, no, something more low key I think"
They were now in the town, a small little homely place that seemed relatively empty. They wondered around the streets in the velvet darkness that marked 11:30 pm.
"Hey! I think I found us our disguises!" cried Draco running over to a shop.
Intrigued Harry followed peering up at the name.
"BIG JOES COSTUMES" read the red and blue lettering. In the window 3 manikins stood dressed in various skirts and dresses with feather boas draped around them.
"Harry, were gonna be Drag Queens!" crowed Draco delightedly. Harry stood staring at the glittering red and blue dresses that stood in the window.