I come back inside. I have been out there for a long time mulling
over my decision. I have finally come to agreement with myself. I know
what I have to do. I thought that someone would've come out to get me, but
when I get inside, everyone is asleep. I suppose it has been a long day.
I step amongst the sleeping bodies. I think of them all as human now. They're so vulnerable and it has to stop. All of it.
I silently creep into the room where I know only Zan and Max sleep. I have done too much for him in my alien mentality, but I wonder if any human mother wouldn't have done the same.
They are both sleeping soundly on the bed and I squat down on the side Zan is on. I look at him in his peaceful baby slumber and wish I could be in such a peaceful state. I place a soft kiss on his temple. I'm filled, at that moment, with the greatest sorrow and know Kyle was wrong when he said I have no soul. I wish I could see Zan take his first steps, hear him say his first words and later graduate from high school. Like a regular human boy. I've forgotten how to cry, though, because I get up and manage to turn my head away. But as I'm turning, I hear my name softly.
"Tess?"
I turn to see Max sit up. "What are you doing?" He asks quietly as not to disturb Zan.
"I've come to say goodbye." I answer. "I'm actually glad you woke up. I feel like I owe the same to you."
"You're leaving? You're leaving him?" He looks at him and then at me confused.
"Yes. I am leaving." I say in such a quiet voice I don't think he hears me. But he must because a sort of dawning comes into his eyes.
"You don't have to do this. We're going to work something out." He says more logical than to be nice.
"I wish it were true, Max. Don't you think I've tried to figure out another way?" I shake my head. "No. This is it. It's the right thing to do."
He gently stands up and comes over to where I'm standing. He surprises me by grabbing me by the upper arms. "What about our son?" He looks into my eyes and I see his dark ones plead in a way. He is afraid of being a father.
"He's human, you're human, you'll do what's right for him. Besides, they want me. I have to go."
"You don't have to." He tells me again, this time with more vehemence.
"Yes.I do." And I look down, those tears now threatening to come.
"Are you afraid?" He asks me.
"Yes." I whisper. I didn't think that I could admit it, but now we both know and the fact hangs there between us. He shocks me even more by pulling me into an embrace. I can feel his hands on my shoulder blades. I don't hug him back, but I do lean my head on his chest.
"I'm going to lie to Liz." I say into his shirt.
"What?" I am now at arm's length again.
"I want her to drive me to the base."
"Are you going to mind warp them into thinking she's you or something?"
"No." I don't know if I really deserve his harsh, accusing tone. I probably do. "I have to close this chapter. You and I, I mean. She's going through a lot. I want her to be free to be with you without me looming over you both."
"I didn't know you were looming." He says, and then asks curiously: "What are you going to tell her?"
"I don't know, but I know that what I say will help you both. I always wished that something could come out of us, but I realize you will always be more human." I reach up to stroke his hair and run my fingertips behind his ear.
"You will know the best thing for Zan and you will marry Liz after proposing to her in the most romantic way possible. Like Zan did to Ava." I add with a smile. My tactile contact sends images of the past life into his head. The images include Zan's proposal, Ava's wide-eyed amazement, their wedding and finally, their deaths.
The emotion in the moment is so strong that he kisses me without hesitation. While his lips are pressed to mine, I take away all the happy thoughts of us together. If I'm to tell Liz what she needs to hear, he will have to be able to agree. Human minds want to believe what they want and it doesn't take much to release him from that part.
He quickly pushes me away, like I'm diseased. "You'd better get going." He replies abruptly.
"Yes. I'll go wake up Liz now." I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist in a vice-like hold.
"If she doesn't come back before morning, we'll come looking for you."
I don't say anything, just nod and shrug my arm out of his grasp. He was my great love and his parting words are: "We'll come looking for you." I find it funny, actually, but not in a laughing way.
I open the door and head over to the couch to ask for the favor.
THE END
I step amongst the sleeping bodies. I think of them all as human now. They're so vulnerable and it has to stop. All of it.
I silently creep into the room where I know only Zan and Max sleep. I have done too much for him in my alien mentality, but I wonder if any human mother wouldn't have done the same.
They are both sleeping soundly on the bed and I squat down on the side Zan is on. I look at him in his peaceful baby slumber and wish I could be in such a peaceful state. I place a soft kiss on his temple. I'm filled, at that moment, with the greatest sorrow and know Kyle was wrong when he said I have no soul. I wish I could see Zan take his first steps, hear him say his first words and later graduate from high school. Like a regular human boy. I've forgotten how to cry, though, because I get up and manage to turn my head away. But as I'm turning, I hear my name softly.
"Tess?"
I turn to see Max sit up. "What are you doing?" He asks quietly as not to disturb Zan.
"I've come to say goodbye." I answer. "I'm actually glad you woke up. I feel like I owe the same to you."
"You're leaving? You're leaving him?" He looks at him and then at me confused.
"Yes. I am leaving." I say in such a quiet voice I don't think he hears me. But he must because a sort of dawning comes into his eyes.
"You don't have to do this. We're going to work something out." He says more logical than to be nice.
"I wish it were true, Max. Don't you think I've tried to figure out another way?" I shake my head. "No. This is it. It's the right thing to do."
He gently stands up and comes over to where I'm standing. He surprises me by grabbing me by the upper arms. "What about our son?" He looks into my eyes and I see his dark ones plead in a way. He is afraid of being a father.
"He's human, you're human, you'll do what's right for him. Besides, they want me. I have to go."
"You don't have to." He tells me again, this time with more vehemence.
"Yes.I do." And I look down, those tears now threatening to come.
"Are you afraid?" He asks me.
"Yes." I whisper. I didn't think that I could admit it, but now we both know and the fact hangs there between us. He shocks me even more by pulling me into an embrace. I can feel his hands on my shoulder blades. I don't hug him back, but I do lean my head on his chest.
"I'm going to lie to Liz." I say into his shirt.
"What?" I am now at arm's length again.
"I want her to drive me to the base."
"Are you going to mind warp them into thinking she's you or something?"
"No." I don't know if I really deserve his harsh, accusing tone. I probably do. "I have to close this chapter. You and I, I mean. She's going through a lot. I want her to be free to be with you without me looming over you both."
"I didn't know you were looming." He says, and then asks curiously: "What are you going to tell her?"
"I don't know, but I know that what I say will help you both. I always wished that something could come out of us, but I realize you will always be more human." I reach up to stroke his hair and run my fingertips behind his ear.
"You will know the best thing for Zan and you will marry Liz after proposing to her in the most romantic way possible. Like Zan did to Ava." I add with a smile. My tactile contact sends images of the past life into his head. The images include Zan's proposal, Ava's wide-eyed amazement, their wedding and finally, their deaths.
The emotion in the moment is so strong that he kisses me without hesitation. While his lips are pressed to mine, I take away all the happy thoughts of us together. If I'm to tell Liz what she needs to hear, he will have to be able to agree. Human minds want to believe what they want and it doesn't take much to release him from that part.
He quickly pushes me away, like I'm diseased. "You'd better get going." He replies abruptly.
"Yes. I'll go wake up Liz now." I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist in a vice-like hold.
"If she doesn't come back before morning, we'll come looking for you."
I don't say anything, just nod and shrug my arm out of his grasp. He was my great love and his parting words are: "We'll come looking for you." I find it funny, actually, but not in a laughing way.
I open the door and head over to the couch to ask for the favor.
THE END