Disclaimer I don't own Super Smash Brothers Brawl

Hello there, I am a member of Black Scepter (I share this penname with two other siblings), which brother am I? Well, guess.

But beside that, I hope you enjoy the fic.

Chapter 1

The perfect job

"Hello, my name is William Ark, I joined the Super Smash Bros as their agent about a month ago, oh well; I have brown hair, a black motorcycle jacket, a white t-shirt and blue jeans. And I want to talk to you people about the complaints we've been getting about us. All of us Super Smash Brothers are really serious and do not play practical jokes; when I open this door right here you will see…a pillow fight?!"

Feathers were all over the room, Captain Falcon, Link, Toon Link, Mario, Luigi, Sonic, Samus, Olimar, Fox, Falco, Marth, Ike, and Pit stared at Will and just realized they have been caught looking like immature children.

"Guys! Why is there a pillow fight?!" Will yelped.

The entire group stayed silent for awhile until Captain Falcon threw his pillow down in disgust.

"Guys! Come on!" Captain Falcon yelled, as he walked away the from the pillow fight.

"Seriously guys," Will frowned, "I think this isn't working at all for us."

"We need a new job," Link suggested, sitting on one of the chairs there.

"Yep," Mario agreed, "A new image for us."
"And as your agent," Will grinned. "I'll get started right away."

Will turned for the door and walked right out, the moment the door closed he realized a problem: how am I going to get 13 people new jobs?!

On the street

"Okay," Will sighed, "Let's list the jobs we can't do."

"Waiter is one, Luigi spilled everything," Mario grumbled.

"Okay, waiter… what else?" Will asked.

"Pro wrestler," Link said, "Luigi didn't survive a minute out there."

"Yeah it didn't help that you were yelling 'use the chair' to the opponent," Will added.

Link chuckled sheepishly and sat down. The entire group had tried everything they could think of, but they couldn't find a new job that suited them. They either screwed up their assignments or the owners looked up their job history, which was very bad for them.

"There has to be something!" Will cried out angrily, he opened up a pamphlet titled 'The Idiot's mini pamphlet for finding jobs' and looked through it.

Finally, he stopped at the last part of the pamphlet and grinned, there was one job they haven't tried…

"Anybody wanna be a police officer?" He asked.

The shocked looks on their faces told him that they weren't expecting this, not at all.

Job assign

By some sheer force of dumb luck (or maybe the instructors were drunk), the Smash team has now become members of the Law enforcement, aka: Police Officers.

"All right ladies," said the chief. "I'm your chief and I will be assigning your jobs."

The chief took a glance at the new recruits and thought we sure get the oddballs of this job. He took out a checklist and read out the positions:

"Pit, you are our Sniper. Marth, Ike, Link, Sonic, and Capt. Falcon are our Hot Pursuit units. Mario and Luigi are in the Bomb Squad. Samus is our Tracker/Hunter. Olimar, Fox, and Falco are our Air Support units. Will is our tactical leader—,"

"Huh?!" Link gasped, "Will?!"

"Yeah, uh, I signed up too," Will chuckled nervously.

"Are you listening to me?!" The Chief growled, causing everyone to look at him and nod quickly. "Good… and Toon Link…"

The chief looked at Toon Link and back at his list, he cleared his throat and said, "I'll get back to you on that one."

Toon Link's jaw dropped, he glared at the Chief and began to reach for his sword… until he was stopped by the joint efforts of Mario and Fox, who pulled him away from the Chief before he could kill him. God help us all, the Smash Bros are now Officers… this city is screwed, the Chief thought as he entered his office.

Bunks

"Huh, could be worse," Will commented, walking into the living quarters.

Unfortunately it looked just about as worse as it could get. It was a dark room with 20 bunk beds, mold grew on the wall, it was kinda cold too.

Samus sighed and placed her suitcase on her bed, "Great, I have to share a room with you guys, yippee."

"It's not that bad," Mario said as he placed his suitcase on his bed, when he did a bed spring shot out of the mattress.

"I want a hot dog," Luigi complained, sitting on his bed.

"Dude," Ike frowned, "What does that have to do with this conversation?"

"I'm hungry!" Luigi yelled, causing everyone to sigh angrily.

"Can we kill him already?!" Marth suggested, pulling out his sword.

Luigi looked at the sword with wide eyes and backed up slowly, Mario stepped in front of his brother and waved his arms frantically.

"Wait, wait, wait! Where's Toon Link?"

Everyone paused and looked around, where was the smallish cartoon copy of Link? Just then they heard a yell from down the hall and rushed to them.

With Toon Link

"Okay, thanks Johnson," the Chief spoke into the phone, "Have them come back and— whoa!"

The Chief nearly dropped the phone when he saw Toon Link in front of the desk, staring at the cookie he held in his hand. The Chief mumbled an 'I'll call you back' and hung up the phone, Toon Link looked at the cookie and said.

"Gimme the cookie," said Toon Link.

"How about a muffin?" The Chief suggested, not wanting to give up his cookie.

"I said, GIMME THE COOKIE!!" Yelled Toon Link with a wild look in his eye.

"No!" The Chief yelled, holding the cookie high above him.

"Oh come one, don't take advantage of my unnaturally small size! Don't make me cry!" Toon Link growled, trying to grab the cookie.

"What's that noise?" Will asked, as he and the Smashers walked in the room.

"He won't give me the cookie!" Toon link said as he broke into false tears

"Oh look at what you did!" Mario yelled.

"You're a horrible man, picking on the genetically cartoonish child," scolded Link.

Mario took the cookie and gave it to Toon Link, who ate it happily and gave the Chief the death glare.

"Toon Link, what are you doing?" asked Ike, staring at his face.

"I'm giving him the death glare," said Toon Link, giving his best death glare at the Chief.

"No, you look constipated," said Ike, backing away from him slightly.

"What does that mean?" asked Toon Link, dropping his death glare to look at him.

"Agg…hopeless," Ike sighed.

Suddenly there was a sound of multiple pagers going off, the Smashers looked at their pagers and realized dispatch got a call.

"Our first mission," said Link, as the Chief was talking to dispatch.

"There is a gang shooting going on at the corner of 7th crossing. Link, you will take care of this one. Mario and Luigi are back up for this. Good luck, you're going to need it," said Chief.

"Ok," Link nodded as he ran outside and to his police cruiser, where Mario and Luigi were talking.

"Mario, Luigi, I need help," Link said as he hopped in his cruiser.

"Ok," said Mario getting in as well.

"But I just got my hot dog…" Luigi moaned, looking at the over stuffed hot dog.

Link and Mario stared at him incredulously as he munched on his hot dog, finally Luigi growled at them and got in the backseat.

"Fine!" Luigi shouted.

"Um, Luigi, don't you have your own cruiser?" Mario asked.

"Well… I did, until I wrecked it," Luigi frowned.

"How?!" Link asked as they pulled onto the road.

"I backed it into the Chief's car," Luigi stated in a matter of fact tone.

Just then they heard the Chief yelling in the background, "Oh my god no!"

Mario and Link only groaned, leave it to Luigi to ram into the Chief's car on their first day with his cruiser… barely out of the body shop.

At the scene

They had parked their car about a block from the gang shooting, Link went ahead first leaving Mario and Luigi as backup.

"So," Mario sighed, "Wanna play charades?"

Just then the radio crackled, it was Link calling for backup. The two of them got out of their police car and ran over to him.

"What is it Link?" asked Mario.

"It better be something good," said Luigi.

"I'm almost out of bullets," said Link.

"Let me take it!" said Mario, pulling out his own gun.

He fired off multiple shots, and it hit various objects: a car tire, a trashcan, an alley cat, but not the gangsters.

"All of them missed… the gangsters," said Mario, putting away his gun.

"Where is Luigi?" asked Link.

"Hey!" Luigi shouted, jumping out of his hiding spot and shooting at the gangsters.

Just like his older brother, all of his shots managed to hit anything but the shooters.

"Oh no…" Luigi said with wide eyes, one of the gangsters has pulled out one of the worst weapons you could face without ammo.

"A 9 millimeter!" Link shouted.

Unfortunately, the deed was done. Luigi dived out of the way but his shoulder was hit.

"MAN DOWN! I REPEAT: MAN DOWN!" Luigi yelled.

"I KNOW, I KNOW!" Mario shouted.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING!?" Link shouted.

"BECAUSE THIS IS OUR FIRST GUNFIGHT AND WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Luigi shouted back.

Just then multiple arrows shot out and slammed into the gangsters. Luigi, Mario, and Link looked up to see Pit spinning his bow confidently.

"Do I have to do everything myself?" Pit sighed.

"Wow………PAIN!" yelled Luigi, still clutching his shoulder.

Bunks

"This job is hard," said Mario, laying on his bunk.

"And it hurts," Luigi whimpered, having just come out surgery (Samus style).

"Yeah, but we need the money," Sonic sighed, getting in his bed.

"Really?" Will asked, "What do we need it for?"

"To get Toon Link the psychiatric help he needs," Samus explained.

She pointed towards Toon Link, who was sitting in the corner holding a cookie and talking to himself.

"Cookie… nice, soft cookie. I think I'm going to eat it, whoa Toon Link, don't eat the cookie," said Toon Link, nibbling on the cookie in his hands.

Everyone simply stared at him, it was Will who broke the silence, "Heh, well um, hmm… How did he pass the qualifying exam?"

"More like how did we pass the exam," Capt. Falcon corrected. "Most of our team members are klutzs!"

"Hey I resent that!" Will shouted.

"Yeah!" Luigi joined in, standing up.

"This team has what it takes to make it big—,"

"Yes it does!"

"95 percent of the accidents are Luigi's fault!"

"That's— hey wait! Whoa! Mine?!" Luigi growled.

"Good night guys," Mario sighed, turning off the lights.

Will's journal

April 10:30PM

Man it's been a long day: first all the boys, yes all the boys, are having a pillow fight. Then Luigi spills wine, gets beat up and shot, now Toon Link hates Chief. Oh well, I can't believe we made the team.

William Ark

Please review and please don't flame