A Silent Commitment
Inspired by: An-Chan :)
Dedicated to An and Luwa
Some scenes are true-to-life.
Disclaimer: Just another GA fanfic.
I love fairy tales… but I don't really believe in them.
For me, romance is merely a concept invented by poets and writers to create an escape from reality. Although I feel a little shy to admit it, I really am a true sucker for this genre. From stories in Greek mythology to clichéd plots in shoujo anime – if there's a cute couple in it, you bet I've already spent sleepless nights with butterflies in my stomach watching or reading it.
I've always been a bookworm, and I've never really paid attention to how I look nor the way other people see me. My boring and messy auburn hair has always remained – well – boring and messy. Even though romantic novels are literally my lifeblood, I still think that I'm realistic enough to not dream of meeting a prince charming in the 3D world. Besides, no crazy guy has ever asked me out.
Sigh. Now I feel pretty bummed.
Here I am again scribbling nonsense onto my diary. I really want to pay attention to Mr. Jinno's lectures, but I'm afraid being seated at the farthest corner didn't make my hearing any better. Who am I to complain, anyway? I chose this seat myself because it gives me better privacy than if I were anywhere in the front or middle row.
I heave a heavy sigh.
"Hyuuga, answer problem number five on the board," Mr. Jinno says, startling me out of my musing.
Averting my gaze from my doodles to the guy that was called, I realize that everyone's attention is centered on him. The girls are definitely eyeing him dreamily, expectant of a quick answer. Then I find myself looking at him, expecting the same.
"X = 3 is the only solution since -3 causes the argument of the logarithm to be negative," he answers, not even bothering to stand from his seat.
I hear loud gasps as our Math teacher fixes his glasses that are almost falling off the bridge of his nose.
"Very well," he comments and calls for another student to answer the next problem.
"Did you see that? Natsume didn't even use a calculator!" my classmate in front of me murmurs within a quick breath.
"One of the things that makes him so hot... I wish I could get close to him," the other replied as she heaves a fanciful sigh.
Not paying much attention to their phantasm, I scramble my things to get my – well – piece of obsession.
It's a story that I wrote out of my secret delusions and I've always loved re-reading it. It always comes in handy during class periods like this. I will look like I am studying, but in reality, I'm just reading a love story.
I already know that there's no way I could find my own hero or prince charming in real life, so I thought I would make one myself. This story revolves around an otaku – like me – and a handsome guy whom she would share a love-hate relationship with.
Our heroine, whom I named Mila, is quite eccentric, you see. She doesn't get along well with normal people because she always blurts out the weirdest things. One thing she got going is that she has a nice best friend, Hana, who is actually quite normal.
Anyway, our hero has always looked at her. Every time he sees her, he just gets more and more intrigued. One day, there was an announcement that a ball is going to be held, and everyone is invited. Mila doesn't want to come, but Hana is set on transforming her just for one night. So Mila, dressed in a gorgeous gown and looking oh-so-beautiful, attends the ball with her best friend.
Everyone is amazed to see this lovely maiden; they have no idea who she is or where she came from. They keep asking Hana about how they came to know each other, but she's too amused to answer. However, there's one other person who knew – our hero.
After that night, our hero has always teased Mila about her little secret, and that's where their love begins.
It's not the first story that I wrote, but it's definitely my favorite.
"What's that, Mikan?" my seatmate takes notice and I suddenly jerk in surprise, clutching and crumpling the papers accidentally.
"N-nothing, Anna," I mutter nervously.
"Is that a story you wrote? Come on, let me see!" she almost shouts as she extends her arm to snatch what I'm holding on to.
"You two at the back! Stop making noises in my class!" an irritated Mr. Jinno shots at us. My heart is pounding so hard and I wish that the floor would open up and eat me. I really hate making a scene, especially in class!
"Yes, sir," we both answer and the whole class snickers.
"You're going to let me read that," Anna whispers in command – typical Anna. I just nod in return, afraid to attract any more unnecessary attention.
So yeah, she reads it.
"Mikan! This is so cute! You're really good at writing!" Anna mewls.
I truly regret showing it to her, but after hearing that she likes it, I am instantly relieved.
"It's nothing special..." I point shyly, scratching my head in response.
"No! Look, guys! Mikan here has written a love story!" she unexpectedly calls for the others.
My eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.
"Oh no! Anna, please! It's not even worth reading!" I exclaim, terrified.
I try to reach for the papers but sadly, Sumire has already taken a hold of it... And no one dares to stand against her. I can't really do anything now so I just slouch back at my seat to wait for the worst.
After a few minutes of scanning my work, Sumire hands my notes back to me.
"This is quite interesting, Mikan. Keep it going, you sure have talent," Sumire smiles at me and then turns to her friends. "Come on, girls. Let's go home."
I sure did not expect that. I just came to the realization that Sumire is not a mean person. I felt that her smile was genuine even though we haven't really talked a lot. Ah. When did I even start labeling her as a mean girl? I feel awfully guilty now.
"Bring more of your stories tomorrow, Mikan, okay?" Anna asks with her best impression of cute puppy pleading eyes.
"Sure," I respond and smile.
As I like being the last one to leave the room, I stay a few more minutes until it's clear.
Seeing that all of my classmates are gone, I neatly place all my things back to my backpack and get ready to go home as well. I check first the electrical outlets and turn off the lights. I suddenly bump into someone as I head out the door.
"I'm sorry," I immediately apologize, scrunching my nose. When I look up, I see crimsons staring straight at me.
"Your story... Let me read it," Natsume Hyuuga said – or more like ordered? His deep, husky voice sounds so commanding and I still hear it ringing in my eardrums.
I look back in disbelief.
"Excuse me?" I incredulously mumble in such a low voice, again, afraid to cause commotion simply because... this is Natsume Hyuuga speaking to me! It doesn't take a genius to realize that he's quite popular around here.
Without hesitation, he turns me around using his arms and then makes his way to my bag. I immediately hear him unzipping it.
"What are you doing?" I retort back, trying to sound irritated. But really, more than anything, I am just shocked that this is happening.
When I turn back, he is already holding the crumpled sheets where my story is written.
I'm doomed.
"Please give it back..." I plead him. I'm too shy to try to grab my papers back from him.
He then gives me a smirk before he starts to walk away, holding the notes in one hand and hand-pocketing his other. For some reason, I just can't find the energy to chase after him.
I feel defeated.
When I finally reach home, I still can't help but wonder why Natsume would take interest in my work. I am a recent transfer at our school, but I am already at the point where I know the people I can talk to and the ones that are not at the same wavelength as me - Natsume Hyuuga is definitely one of the latter. His mere presence intimidates me.
Does he like to read fluffy love stories that much? It sounds absurd, but what else could it be? I cover an agitated scream with a pillow. No, no, no, it can't be. He's the bad boy cliché of every high school! There's no way!
"Tamahome, Miaka, do you think my story is good?" I ask the poster stuck to my ceiling.
"Yes, it is. So cheer up!" I mimick Miaka's cheerful voice and I smile.
Tonight will be a long night.
Morning came and as always, I am the earliest in class. I love the peace of being alone in the classroom. I check my watch; it's still an hour before homeroom starts. I have plenty of time to spare. I move from the farthest corner to the chair at the front row. I try to forget what happened yesterday and just be my usual self today.
This is the privilege of being an early bird – having to invade the room and just be plain crazy. Being a music lover, I thought of singing since nobody has ever gotten into class at this time. So I start humming first and then sing the lyrics of one of my favorite songs.
We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes, And the flashback starts, I'm standing there ~
I start tapping my hands on the desk, following the tune. I feel pretty carefree in our isolated classroom, so I close my eyes to aim for a higher pitch.
And I was crying on the staircase, Begging you please don't go ~
I can easily get lost in music, and that's what I did. I imagine a mic in my hand and I dance, banging my head momentarily.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, It's a love story baby just say ye-
When I twirl around, my mouth gapes wide open for there he is...
Oh my god.
Natsume is seated at the corner near the door, watching me with his chin resting upon his fist and an amused look never leaving his face. Blood rushes tenfold all over my body, and I fight myself from doing something drastic.
But please, somebody kill me! Kill me now!
I quickly turn my gaze to the floor and run as swift as I can back to my seat.
Burying my face to my desk, I pretend that nothing happened. But I can't hide the fact that my heart is galumphing so hard in my chest.
I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life! I've never even let anyone hear me sing! He must be dying to suppress his laughs for this long. Why – oh – why is this happening to me?
Natsume – of all people? He is never this early. In fact, he never attends first period. What is happening?
I suddenly feel something drop to my head. Sitting upright again, I catch the papers in my hand and see him pacing back to his seat at the middle row. I then turn my eyes to what I'm holding.
I see marks... A lot of red marks... Oh dear. They are correction marks! Wait!
This is the story I wrote…
I inspect everything. Errors on grammar, spelling, punctuation, quotation marks, formatting, etc. – they are all corrected.
I stare at the papers, astonished and completely floored.
My heart sinks.
He proofread it... He didn't take it because he just wanted to read it. He didn't take it because he was interested in romantic stories. He took it… because he is a goddamn perfectionist and doesn't want crap flying around for everyone else to see.
I feel my jaw clenching as well as my fists. I start feeling the need to destroy my favorite work when I catch sight of the last page lying on the floor.
I grab a hold of it and see a little blue note.
"Great plot. Keep it up."
I snatch a glance at his direction and see his back resting comfortably on his chair as he reads his manga.
Great plot... Keep it up...
Don't know if that's meant to be sarcastic or just a plain compliment but all the more... a smile creeps up to my lips...
Then my other classmates start to fill in the room.
Author's Notes:
Song by Taylor Swift.
JULY 3, 2017
Going back to this story after XX years. I recently received a fan mail that inspired me to continue where I left off. I'm sorry for the long hiatus, dear reader. I am re-writing a ton of this because of the overwhelming grammatical errors. Xo, ilargia