"Uh, yeah, but that's why they invented masturbation."

That is still, to this day, the funniest thing that Blaine Anderson has ever said. It still makes me laugh like an idiot now. It's also legit proof that Blaine (the actual, canon Blaine Anderson on the show) has masturbated while thinking about Kurt. It was only a matter of time before I wrote a fic about it. Just as a kind of confirmation.

Once again, my Klaine smut is becoming more and more canon. It's weird. Something just like what you're about to read probably happened just before Kurt and Blaine finally went all the way. I'm still not over it. I just have a lot of feelings.

Anyway, chuck some reviews in my general direction.

And I don't own Glee. Even though the lines are starting to blur somewhat.

That's Why They Invented Masturbation

Blaine was feeling lonely. It was Saturday night, and he was supposed to be on a date with Kurt at Breadstix. But the date had been cancelled at the last minute and now Blaine was spending his evening alone. It sounded horribly sappy, even in his head, but just going one night without seeing or speaking to Kurt felt like a lifetime.

Blaine looked over at his clock and saw that it was just past 10pm. If he'd actually gone on his date with Kurt tonight chances are they'd be back here by now, and they'd most likely be making out on Blaine's bed since no one was home. He laid back against his pillows and shut his eyes as he thought about it, both hands behind his head as Roxy Music quietly played out of his iPod dock.

Kurt really was a wonderful kisser. Blaine could happily spend the rest of his life kissing nobody else but Kurt. It was strange, because Kurt really didn't have any idea how good he was, he had no clue just how easily he could make Blaine fall apart. The first time they ever kissed Blaine's knees actually went weak for the first time in his life. And even now, almost eight months later, every kiss still made Blaine feel like he was about to faint. But, like everything that was sexy about Kurt, it was completely unintentional.

Making out with Kurt was heavenly. His lips, his tongue, the taste of him, the little noises he made – everything was pure perfection. Just thinking about it made Blaine shiver. They'd never gone further than lying down together and kissing, and they always stopped and cooled off when things became too heated. Blaine was always cautious with Kurt, careful not to make his boyfriend feel uncomfortable or be too forceful. But lately their make out sessions had been getting much hotter, much faster. Blaine had been the one to insist that they cool off rather than Kurt, even though stopping was the last thing he wanted to do. It had been amazing, and surprising.

But they still hadn't gone too far. They hadn't even seen each other topless, although their fingers sometimes slipped up each other's shirts, lightly caressing the skin underneath as they kissed. Of course, Blaine would've loved to just rip off all of Kurt's many layers of clothing and ravish him, but he kept those lovely mental images to himself, for now at least. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't feeling a little antsy.

Blaine hated to sound like such a typical guy, but it was frustrating having such a beautiful and unintentionally sexy boyfriend that he couldn't even make love to. They hadn't let their hands travel below the waist yet, even though Blaine was just itching to. He wanted to touch Kurt. He wanted to know exactly what every inch of Kurt's skin felt like under his fingertips. He wanted to know what that soft, pale skin tasted like. Blaine squirmed on his bed as he imagined it, his pants feeling uncomfortably tight. He opened his eyes, sitting up a little, and was completely unsurprised to see the sizable bulge in his jeans – Kurt often had that effect on him.

It seemed like tonight – like most nights when Blaine was feeling lonely – was going to end in a little act of masturbation. Blaine wasn't the least bit embarrassed that he regularly jerked off, or that he always thought about Kurt as he did. It was human and normal and biologically sound. With a boyfriend as gorgeous as his, Blaine would probably explode if he didn't. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of, and he had the house to himself so at least there was no risk of anyone walking in on him.

He unzipped his jeans, pushing them down a little along with his briefs so his steadily hardening cock was finally released from the restrictive material. He licked his hand and wrapped it around his length, stroking himself slowly as he thought of his boyfriend. He imagined one of their more feverish make out sessions, only instead of stopping when things got too hot they carried on, kissing like their lives depended on it, tongues plundering each other's mouths. He imagined the little sighs and whimpers that Kurt would make, that soft, velvety voice whispering his name against his lips. He imagined their bodies pressed together, Kurt's fingers grabbing at his hair and messing it up as their kissing became fiercer. Blaine groaned, stroking himself a little faster as he imagined feeling Kurt's hard on pressing against his thigh through the material of their jeans.

In his head Kurt was on top of him, straddling his hips as they kissed each other deeper than ever. Blaine imagined slipping his hands down the arch of Kurt's back, untucking his shirt so he could feel the soft skin underneath, before letting his hands travel lower, grabbing that gorgeous ass that looked so damn perfect in those ungodly tight jeans. The Kurt in his head let out a little moan, and Blaine stroked his cock faster.

Blaine imagined laying Kurt down on the bed and quickly unbuttoning his shirt, throwing it aside so he could finally see Kurt's body. In Blaine's head, Kurt's body was absolutely perfect, pale and slender and toned, downy instead of hairy like Blaine was. Kurt's skin would feel so soft and flawless, already glowing with sweat. Kurt would pull off Blaine's t-shirt with that shame urgency, wanting this just as much as Blaine did, and their skin would feel so hot against each other's. He imagined Kurt's hands all over his body, caressing his arms, his back, his chest, right down to his hips, squeezing his ass and palming the erection in the front of Blaine's pants. Blaine let out a little whimper as he stroked his cock even faster.

Blaine skipped ahead in his imagination, picturing Kurt completely naked on top of him, his cheeks all rosy and his hair a complete mess. He imagined Kurt's lips travelling down his neck and his chest, sucking on his nipples and leaving bit marks on his hips. Blaine licked his hand again so it was even wetter, tugging on his cock even faster as he imagined Kurt's mouth around his length. He could only go by what he'd seen in porn movies and read in gay erotica, but he imagined Kurt sucking on his crown and lapping up his pre-come, before taking as much of us cock as possible and swirling his tongue. Blaine squeezed the head of his cock, spreading his pre-come with his thumb before stroking faster and thrusting slightly into his hand, imagining Kurt bobbing his head up and down and moaning around his length as he sucked him.

Blaine's breath was coming out short and quick. The images in his head changed quickly, and now Kurt was between his legs. Blaine stopped stroking himself so he could take his jeans and briefs off completely, kicking them off the bed before going over to his bedside cabinet. He grabbed a bottle of lube and the small blue dildo that he'd discretely ordered over the internet a while ago – just to practice with, of course.

He squirted some lube into his hand and spread his legs, very slowly pushing a finger into his ass and imagining that the finger belonged to Kurt. He pushed his finger in and out, twisting it a little before he added a second finger and started scissoring them. He bent his arm at a slightly awkward angle and curled his fingers until he touched that magical spot inside him, making himself cry out, before he finally removed his fingers and covered his dildo in lube. He slicked up in cock with the excess lube, and very slowly pushed his dildo into his opening, imagining that it was Kurt on top of him, slowly entering him and covering his face and neck in kisses to relax him.

Blaine threw his head against the pillows, stroking and squeezing his cock as he spread his legs wider and pushed the dildo in and out of his ass, steadily faster and faster. He imagined Kurt thrusting into him, moaning deeply and saying his name. Eventually it wasn't really love-making that Blaine was imagining. In his head Blaine was being fucked right into the mattress, Kurt rubbing his cock in time with his hard thrusts, managing to hit that sweet spot every time. Blaine moaned loudly – thank God no one was home – and thrust his hips upwards as he stroked himself and fucked himself, so close to the edge that he could barely stand it. He could imagine the unbelievably sexy noises that Kurt would be making which just managed to turn him on even more. All too soon Blaine's orgasm hit him like a tidal wave and he came all over his hand and his stomach, moaning Kurt's name as he did.

Blaine lay there in the afterglow for a while, trying to get his breath back, before he cleaned himself up and putting his pants back on. He went over to the bathroom to give his dildo a rinse and put it back in his bedside cabinet along with the bottle of lube. He'd completely forgotten that his iPod was still playing quietly through the speakers, but smiled to himself when he realised that Candles by Hey Monday has just started. As he sat on his bed with his back against the headboard, he grabbed his phone and sent Kurt a quick text.

Thinking of you xxx

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.

I'll leave you with this positive thought. No matter how sucky real life gets, just remember that Kurt and Blaine have had sex. Probably several times by now. They've seen each other naked. They've made each other come.

And it wasn't even fanfic sex. It was actually canon. So really nothing should hurt.

xxx