A/N: I do not pretent to be a medical expert, so I hope I did not do anything wrong in this.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Dedication: To anyone who ever felt that their world was falling apart.
To the entire world, she looked happy. She smiled at the right times, seemed tender at the right moments. She went through what she had to do with grace. She adapted to her new life with ease. She thought it was all a dance.
And he knew it. He could see through her smiles, he knew her dance. She tried to do the same with him, and he wished she would stop. But he danced with her. He would rather have her be honest, let him see her sadness, let him see into her heart. But she did not want him to see into her heart, for it was still filled with images of a Ranger turned King. Yet they were bond together now, thought it seemed like there was a chasm between them.
Éowyn went to the healers to learn their ways and to get things for herself. Every time she asked for the herbs, the healers would chide her, but grudgingly give them to her. They asked why she did not want to conceive a child; she said that she did not feel ready for one yet. They tried to say she was, but Éowyn just protested and asked for the herbs.
It had become a ritual for each of them; the healers would just give her a pouch filled with the necessary herbs, without even a word now. She liked it that way. She just assumed that everything she was getting was correct as time wore on.
The healers had other things in mind. They began to notice how their Lord and Lady interacted together, it seemed to stiff, to perfect. They stopped giving Éowyn herbs that would prevent conception. Instead they began giving her ones that would aid in it.
Éowyn felt strange, she felt like she needed to be close to Faramir, needed to feel his arms around her. She wanted to feel his face on hers, his chest on hers. She needed him.
She returned from learning with the healers later, she had wanted to stay, though her urge to be near him almost made her run as fast as she could to his arms. Their rooms were empty, she was about she was about to look for him in his study when the door opened.
There stood Faramir, looking tired. Éowyn didn't care; all she knew was what she wanted to do.
"Éowyn, it is late you need-" he was silenced as she pressed her lips to his. He had not felt her kiss him like this in a long time, if ever. He felt her want, her longing. She let her tongue linger on his lips, and he opened them, both exploring each other's mouths. He pulled her closer to him, crushing her body against his. Her hands moved of their own accord, working his tunic and shirt off in one movement. They parted so she could pull them off him, and to catch their breaths. As soon as the fabric was tossed away, Faramir resumed their kissing. He began to work on the back of her dress, while moving backward to their bedchambers. Éowyn's hands moved to his hair. As they passed into their bedchambers, Faramir kicked the door shut.
The next morning Éowyn awoke feeling very comfortable and content. She felt strong arms around her and wanted nothing more than to stay in them. She felt them tighten and Faramir move.
"I love you." He whispered, thinking she was awake. Éowyn immediately closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. She did not know what to say. It seemed better to sleep, or not answer.
Faramir felt this. Later, when he awoke fully, he left the room thinking she was still asleep, or at least he did not try to wake her. And they resumed their dance.
The patter became the same. Faramir would not wake Éowyn when he woke, if she was there. She had begun waking up earlier. She would fall asleep before he would come back, he wound not wake her then. They barley talked. They used every opportunity to avoid each other. Faramir began to believe what he had always had in the back of his mind that he was not who she loved, and would never love.
He began to go to Minas Tirith more often, Éowyn didn't seem to mind. She became more involved in healing, and began to work with her sword again.
While Faramir sat in his study in Minas Tirith, he thought about his marriage. His thoughts lead him to one: that he was caging her. She was not happy with him, and he did not think she could ever be. As soon as he got back he would confront her about this, demand that he know what she felt, who she truly loved. Anger grow in him, something he wished would not happen, but he could not think of what else he could do.
Éowyn had been feeling ill. She still went to the healers, but she seemed faint and her stomach seemed to like emptying itself after meals. She decided to ask the healers about it.
The Healer looked at her with a strange look, considering Éowyn's symptoms. "My lady, when was the last time you had your monthly curse?"
Éowyn thought, it seemed like a long time. She couldn't remember one between now and when she had felt that need for Faramir. "I can not remember the last time, probably over a month." She was sure it was over a month, over two in fact. "No, over two." Yet that didn't make sense to her.
"I believe you may be with child my lady." The Healer said, with a sly smile on her face.
Éowyn did not want to hear these words. She couldn't be. "But, what about the herbs that you have been giving me?" Her mind was racing, emotions were overwhelming her.
"They do not always work. Go rest, you look tired." Éowyn stood and left the room, heading for hers.
Her mind was racing. She didn't want this, or did she? She still loved...or did she? She entered her rooms confused and wishing she knew what she felt.
She sat down, but then felt to restless. She began to pace, letting her mind wonder over everything she felt. Everything seemed to come back to Faramir. How he still had hope for her, how he would look at her. She felt a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had been horrible to him, and now she felt sick with herself. She knew something that he had known the whole time, or she hoped he still knew.
The sickening feeling turned into a sharp pain and Éowyn let out a scream, clutching her abdomen. She stopped and doubled over and let out another scream.
A servant girl came rushing in to her, wondering what was wrong with her lady. "My lady, what is wrong?"
Éowyn stood, but the pain was horrible. "Could you fetch a healer, quickly please?" Éowyn said, pain evident in her voice. The girl nodded and left as Éowyn moved to the bed.
The healer came rushing in, wondering what had happened. She saw Éowyn curled on the bed, and something she had feared. Blood. For Éowyn the pain had stopped, but she did not want to hear what the healer was saying. She let tears flow freely from her eyes, knowing what she had lost. She lye there most of the day, not excepting food, just crying over everything.
That night Faramir returned home. Aragorn had told him he needed to go home. Faramir had kept a blank face around Aragorn, trying not to think badly of his King, though all he could think of was that this was the man his wife loved.
He entered the house at dusk, though he did not go to the kitchens to request food. He wanted to say what he had to now. He went straight to his rooms.
Éowyn had moved to below the window, for the bed was in the fading light and Éowyn wanted the dark. Faramir found her curled up under the window.
"Éowyn I have some things I would like to discuss with you." He said, his voice cold.
Éowyn looked up at him. She wished she could have seen welcoming in his eyes, but she could not find any. She stood, leaning on the wall for support. "Faramir, I have-" She began.
"Let me speak first. I know that your heart desires another, I know that you are unhappy."
"Faramir, please, let me speak-"
"No Éowyn!" He said taking hold of her shoulders. "I wished that I would not be like this to you, just another cage. I give you love and you seem to mock me with it. I believed I had known your heart, but I was wrong. If you wish to leave, go ahead, I do not want to hold you back!" His hands were tight on her shoulders; she felt the tears well in her eyes.
"You're wrong." She choked out.
"Am I? Then way do we not speak, why do you always pull away? This is the only thing I can think of!" He could see the hurt in her eyes and wished to make it go away, but he had to say this.
Éowyn felt the tears shake her body. She broke down into sobs. She choked out the only thing that she could. "I was with child."
Faramir was taken aback. He stared at her, letting his grip relax. He felt appalled with himself now. "Éowyn that is wonder-" it was his turn to be cut off.
"No Faramir. Listen for I speak plain words. I was with child." She motioned to the bed.
He looked and saw the blood stained sheets, he looked at her and saw that her tearstains were older than he had thought. His guilt increased a hundred fold. "Éowyn." He whispered and pulled her into his arms. She let her tears flow again, feeling comfort in his arms and better that he was there. He held her, patting her hair and calming her. "Shh, Éowyn, I am here. Nothing will harm you, I have you. Shhh."
Through her tears, she managed to say what she had learned earlier. "I love you Faramir, and only you." She got the words out and looked up into his eyes. There she found the welcome and love. And she knew that everything would be better.
They still danced, but now as one. Not a dance to fool the world, but one of love.