Port Charles: The REAL General Hospital
Chapter 1
Courtney and Jax awoke up to yet another perfect day. She snuggled around in her husband's arms.
"Good morning, Mr. Jacks" she said. He was so damn perfect.
"Good morning, Mrs. Jacks" he said. She was so damn perfect.
She giggled. Then giggled some more. And then… some more.
"Oh, touché, my husband," she said running her fingers through his perfect hair. She swore that if you squinted, he could pass for Brandon Walsh … or was that Jason with the Beverly Hills 90210 hair? Oh, who cares? She was happy. Sooooo happy. Jax was the love of her life.
"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, besides Brenda," Jax whispered. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on, next to Brenda, of course. I will spend the rest of my days pouring champagne down your throat, getting matching highlights and having sex with you until you literally stop breathing because nothing can interrupt the power of two. Not even Michael or Morgan or-"
Courtney sat up, "Wait, who?"
"Duh, Courtney. I'm hypothetically speaking here. Try to stay on track. Brenda always did," Jax answered.
"Oh, okay," said Courtney perking up. She stroked the perfect butt-shaped chiseled chin of his. "Wanna take a shower?" she asked seductively.
"Sweet!" he yelled, jumping out of bed.
"But, you gotta promise to not use my Country Apple body wash from Bath & Body Works. I'm sick of having to stock up! Use your Warm Vanilla Sugar!" she yelled before eagerly getting out of bed to go screw her perfect husband for the 1,640,538th time in an hour.
Sam rolled over in bed, hoping to get a proper good-morning from Jason but he wasn't there. Figuring he was downstairs talking on his cell phone she got up and stood in front of her closet, trying to decide what to wear for the day.
"Hmm," she muttered, staring into the mirror. Something didn't look right. She stuffed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and tilted her head to the side. "Oh, of course, silly me." She quickly unbuttoned the top five buttons of her button down shirt, exposing the bright blue tank top underneath. She crossed her arms in front of her, hugging herself and leaning over to inspect the cleavage. Smiling satisfactorily she headed downstairs to find her fiancé. He was her fiancé, right?
Sure enough, Jason was talking on his phone. "Yeah… what? No. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. I'm on my way." He snapped the phone shut and turned around. "Oh. Hey Sam."
"Hi," she purred, coming up to him with her arms outstretched. "Was that Sonny, Jason? Does he have business for you to do that you can't tell me about? Because really Jason, I'm okay with whatever you have to do, you don't have to worry about me being mad that you work for Sonny."
"No, it was Michael," Jason said, hugging her quickly. "He had another nightmare. I have to go make sure he's okay."
"Mm, before you go, I want to thank you for last night," Sam said seductively. "I mean, wow Jason. Those hugs were just so… so… mind-blowing! And there were three of them! You spoil me, you really do."
Jason smiled at her as she played with the star around her neck. "I need to get ready," he said, moving past her. On his way into the bathroom, he paused and peeled the faded black t-shirt from his body and tossed it aside, leaving Sam speechless, as she couldn't remember the last time she had seen his bare chest.
Jason turned the shower off and pulled the shower curtain back to step out. He could hear faint music coming from the other room and he stared at the wall as he recognized the song. Your Body is a Wonderland. With a sigh and another stare at the door, he moved to the mirror and picked up his razor.
"Jason!" The door banged open and Jason jumped, the razor slipping underneath his chin.
"Sam, what are you doing?"
She came up to him with a hopeful look on her face. "I thought I could shave you," she suggested. "I mean that's next right? You've carried me up the stairs and we had a moment in the rain, now I have to shave your face for you." She advanced closer, trying to get the razor out of his hand.
"Sam. Sam! Stop it!" Jason held the razor out of her reach and stared at her. "What are you talking about?"
Sam shoved her hands in her back pockets and exhaled loudly. "Courtney," she explained. "Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing? Recreating your relationship with her?"
"No," Jason said, rubbing his face.
"Are you sure?" Sam reached again for the razor. "But isn't this fun? I mean, I found the music, and I just thought if I helped you shave, maybe we could hug for a little bit."
Jason stared at her. "I'm done in here," he said finally.
"Oh wait!" Sam ran past him and back into the living room. "Okay you can come out now!" she called.
Jason emerged from the bathroom in his jeans and another black t-shirt. Sam was seated on the sofa writing in some book. "What are you doing now?" he asked finally.
"Oh, Jason!" She snapped the book shut and tried to giggle. "I was just writing in my journal and don't you even think about trying to read it."
"Okay," he said, moving to grab his leather jacket.
"I mean it Jason!" she said, moving so that she was holding the journal in front of him. "I'm writing about you in here and I'll just die of embarrassment if you grab it away and read it."
He shook his head slightly. "I won't," he said. "I've got to get to Michael. Can you take him to Dr. Thomas later?"
"Of course!" Sam said quickly, nodding her head seriously. "Absolutely, I mean, anything I can do to help Michael, I care about him so much."
"Great." He grabbed his cell phone and shoved it into his back pocket next to his gun because that wouldn't prove problematic at any given time. He left the penthouse then, leaving Sam alone. She went over to the desk and pulled out a large notebook.
"Shaving to John Mayer… check." She said drawing a line through it on the list. "Let's see, where is it… oh here it is. Have playful moment with journal, check!" She smiled happily as she played with the star around her neck again. The chain snapped and the star fell into her fingers. She frowned. This was the fourth chain that had broken and she hoped Jason hadn't gotten ripped off when he bought her this fabulous necklace.
"What's next?" she asked herself, skimming the list again. "Hmm, learn how to do the tango? I don't… oh right!" She took a deep breath and one of the buttons popped off of her shirt. "Not again!" she complained, pushing her hands through her hair. She put the notebook back into the desk and headed back up to the bedroom to find another shirt to wear.
The newlyweds strolled hand in hand peering into one another's eyes. It truly was the blonde leading the blonde.
"Court, dude, you are so rockin' those platinum highlights," Jax said giving his wife's hand a squeeze, nearly cutting his palm against the gigantic, huge, enormous, massive rock he put on her finger.
"Aw, thank you. But I'm sure Brenda's hair looks better than mine. At least that's what you kept saying during our Mr. and Mrs. appointment this morning," said Courtney whipping out a container of teeth whitener and applying it to her teeth.
"Um, Courtney, aren't we forgetting something?" asked Jax digging into his man purse and pulling out a compact. He patted his nose and did his typical 'wink and the gun' gesture at himself. "You didn't compliment me on my highlights. Brenda would have."
"Jason, I mean, Jax, you are the most wonderful, amazing, sexiest, flawless man alive. Remember our wedding in France? The bet? The kiss in the rain? The time we flew to Monte Carlo? You made my dreams come true," she said hugging him, struggling to get her arms all the way around her man. Wrapping her arms all the way around Jax was a daily effort but damnit; she was going to overcome it because that's what all respectable, pretty, fit trophy wives did.
"Wait, didn't we have our wedding in Port Charles?" he asked raising a perfectly arched eyebrow.
"Duh! That's what I said, silly goose! But then again, I've had so many marriages, I tend to lose track. But you, Jason Morgan, oh darn, I mean, Jasper Jacks, are the center of my life. I will stay in this marriage until I decide I can't deal with your life anymore. I mean, caviar for breakfast and you drinking champagne out of my Jimmy Choo pumps can take a toll on a girl!" she said giggling.
"Courtney, you're so damn perfect," Jax said applying a shimmery shade of lipgloss. He smacked his lips loudly. "Next to Brenda, of course."
"Oh, gee whiz, Jax, don't curse!" she, yep, you guessed it, giggled again.
WHEN SUDDENLY THE WORLD STOPPED. Everything went still.
Courtney had spotted the Jason Morgan on the docks.
She froze. Jason … on the docks … in Port Charles. Like, oh my God, have you ever heard of such a thing? Her heart began to race. Her pulse quickened. Her overly bleached hair stood on end.
She weakly pointed to him, her ring finger barely being lifted as the gigantic, huge, enormous, massive rock weighed it down.
"Dude, what is it?" asked Jax completely and totally and entirely and utterly unaware of his wife.
"It's him!" said Courtney, her throat growing parch. She desperately needed something to drink. She reached up and grabbed a flask out of Jax's expensive designer jacket. She took a long, very long, swig. She wasn't sure what she was drinking but it was good stuff.
"Who?" asked Jax filing his nails. He blew the particles away. "Damn, cuticles," he muttered. Looking up, he burst into tears. "Not him!" He stomped his feet up and down in a tantrum but stopped when he realized he was scuffing his shoes up.
Courtney spoke up. "Jax, you knew that I came with baggage when you married me in France, darn, I mean here, in Port Charles. Jason and I have so much history. I mean, when you kiss a guy in the rain, he's got your heart forever, you know?" She scratched her forehead. "Shaving a guy in a bathroom while John Mayer is playing is just so … so, you know?" She sniffed.
"But why?" Jax whined. He fell out on the ground, kicking and screaming.
But that didn't matter. JASON MORGAN was on the docks!
"Okay bye." Jason shut his phone and stared out at the water. He was on the docks although he knew there was someplace else he was supposed to be. Suddenly he heard a familiar giggle and turned around.
Courtney pretended to be busy in her purse while casually walking. She suddenly looked up to see Jason. The locked eyes then looked away. They caught glances yet again then looked away.
Their eyes connected a third time in a perfected stare and Jason's breath caught in his throat. His Courtney was standing there. Wait, she wasn't his anymore though. Jax had bought her. She reached up to brush a strand of highlighted hair from her face and the sun reflecting off of her engagement ring blinded him. He blinked and watched as she walked towards him, stumbling slightly.
"Jason … I just want to know one thing," said Courtney, eyes brimming with tears.
She stopped as Alan suddenly rolled by on his wheelchair, muttering insanities. Something about having two sons but not really because one didn't count and the other was just insane and something else that the two didn't pay attention to because Jason ignored him as usual, and hell, Courtney didn't hear a word since the Mr. Wonderful was in her presence.
"Have you and Sam …" she continued.
Jason nodded. "Yeah," he said in barely a whisper.
"So, it's true," said Courtney scratching her forehead. "You and Sam … have hugged?" She nearly began to choke on her tears. "Have you hugged in the rain?"
"Yeah …"
"Do you hug a lot, Jason?" Courtney asked.
"Yeah …"
She gasped. "Jason … I … I have to go," the blonde said before running off.
"Yeah…" he watched as she ran away, staring long after she disappeared. He turned around again and put his cell phone back up to his ear. "It's me. We need to talk." As he walked back down the docks he still had a slight suspicion that he had somewhere else he needed to be.
Courtney walked into her and Jax's lavish apartment, penthouse, cabin, Barbie Dreamhouse or whatever the hell it was. Didn't matter because it was perfect! Jax walked out in his robe, a mud mask on his face.
She ran into her husband's embrace.
"Watch it, Court! This totally isn't dry yet," he said whipping a flask of alcohol out of, uh ... somewhere. He knocked it back violently.
She giggled, of course. But her expression turned sad when John Mayer's "Your Body Is A Wonderland" sounded through the air.
"Dude, what is that? I bet Brenda never even heard of this guy," said Jax covering his ears.
"It's my … ringtone," said Courtney sniffling yet still smiling and scratching her forehead all at once. "It was the same song that played when I shaved Jason's beautiful face …"
"Court, just answer the phone!" Jax said holding back tears. When she cried, he cried. It was the two souls in one thing.
"Hello?"
"Aunt Courtney! Aunt Courtney!" Michael screamed into the phone. "You gotta hel-"
"I'm sorry, who?" said Courtney into the phone. This was serious. "Who is this? This isn't funny!"
"Aunt Courtney! Aunt Courtney! It's me, Michael! Your nephew."
Courtney looked up at Jax and shook her head. "What? Sorry, kiddo." She clamped the phone down and shrugged. "Some kid claiming he was my nephew. Go figure."
Sam came back downstairs, a new button-down shirt on and a new chain around her neck. She was about to… well she didn't know what she was about to do but luckily there was a knock on the door and she went to answer it.
"Sam, I'm so glad you're home!" Emily exclaimed, rushing into the apartment. "I just came from Nikolas' hotel room and I'm so confused. I don't know what to do and I need your advice."
"Sure, sure!" Sam said eagerly sitting down and patting the seat next to her. "Tell me all about it Emily, I'm sure I can help you!"
So as Sam gave Emily sex advice, Courtney helped Jax with his facial before climbing under him yet again, and Jason met with Sonny at the courthouse, poor Michael sat curled up in his bed, alone, trying to come up with another person he could call to talk to …
Jax voiceover: "Dude, like, stay tuned for scenes from the next … Port Charles, the real General Hospital …"
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Michael, Morgan, Lulu and Lucas are all sitting on a park bench
Michael: Today, Child Neglect is a serious issue. Morgan cries Come on, Morgan. Mom and Dad aren't around to feed you. Stop crying!
Lulu: Yes it is. More thanhalf of Port Charles residents with children are too busy out partying, having affairs and covering up murders to care about their kids … by the way, I'm Lulu Spencer. My dad is … um … Larry? No. Lawrence …
Lucas: Luke Spencer, Lulu. Anyways, if you know someone who is on the verge of being a neglectful parent please take charge. A child is a terrible thing to waste.
Sonny voiceover: "On the, uh, next Port Charles, the, uh, real General, uh, Hospital …"
Ric: "Alexis! It is 80 degrees outside! Take the jacket off of her!"
Alexis chewing up applesauce then feeding it to Kristina: "I want her to be prepared for winter! I'm her mother!"
Carly hearing screams from Reese and Sonny's room then bursts in: Caught ya!