Hello all! Here's another Mikey-centered one shot... although not with a happy ending. Don't ask me why I torture the youngest so... I love him to death, though. Really, I swear I love Mikey!

I got the idea when I decided to start re-watching the 2k3 TMNT- I'm on the 3rd season so far, and man the ideas that are flowing through my head right now are crazy! I was finally able to get some free time and went to the library to type this little fic of mine.

Please enjoy! I own nothing. Rating is for character death.

Always Knew

I always knew I would get killed. If I wasn't careful, which most of the time I wasn't, it was going to happen eventually. Heck, everyone who knew me always knew I would wound up getting distracted one day and get myself hurt or killed. My brothers never wasted a moment telling me that.

I was different from each and every one of them. We were all unique in our own little way, you know? That's what Master Splinter told us, anyway. But as we grew up and things changed in our lives, I realized my brothers were changing too- and not in a good way.

They always yelled and teased me for who I was. Leo was always lecturing me, saying that I acted far too much like a child. That if I would focus more and talk less, I would be an actual help to the team. To my family.

For many years I paid the wise cracks, the teasing and the lectures no mind. I figured my brothers were just mad that I knew how to enjoy life instead of seeing the dark side of things. I love to make others see that not everything is all gloom and doom, you know?

But one night, my joking got on every one of my family's nerves. Like, more so than usual. And the words that they spoke to me cut right through what I had honestly didn't know was a mask I had put on for so long, I believed it to be who I truly was.

"Really, Mikey!? Really!" Leo yelled when I had playfully ran into the dojo and jumped on him as he worked on his katas. It was early morning, when I knew Leo would be up trying to be Mr. Perfect. Lately, I had noticed he'd been working himself more than even he knew was impossible and I wanted to try and lighten his mood.

I knew better than to do that but he was so tense lately... I thought maybe I should make him at least crack a smile... it's rare when he does.

"What?" I tried to act innocent but that anger that came over Leo was kinda... scary. He was almost like Raph kind of mad, and THAT is angry. "Don't you luv your baby brother anymore?"

It was only a pretend statement... but Leo's statement made it seem so true...

"Dammit, Mikey! Is it too much to ask you to grow up already?! You are almost 18 years old! You need to get that brain you don't seem to have been born with out of the damn clouds and GROW. UP." He made special emphasis on the last two words.

"It's not cute nor is it funny anymore, Michelangelo." Full name, too... wow, I must've REALLY pissed him off.

I winced. I mean, I kinda got used to all the insults, but this was taking things too far. "I-I'm sorry, Leo, I wasn't-"

"You always 'wasn't' trying to do this or that, and yet you still DO. Now I see why Raphael wants you to disappear. Leave me alone and go bother someone who actually cares, baka." And that ended that.

He walked past me and left me standing in the dojo. I bit my lip. I mean, I know he's been tense with all that's been going on, but... I hadn't meant to cause any harm. What he said about me wasn't true... maybe he's just angry... right?

I sighed and shook off the hurt and then went in search of Donnie. Maybe he would want to do something and perhaps I can think about things with Leo later.

I found him where he always was- in the garage tinkering on something, and Raph was standing beside him. randomly handing him tools and leaning against the BattleShell. Perfect, I thought.

If I had actually took the time to see what they were working on, I would've actually left them alone. But I quietly snuck up behind Raph, took a deep breath and yelled as loud as I could in his ear, "BOO!"

I made a HUGE mistake. It turned out Raph had been helping Donnie repair his beloved motorcycle... the very one I took for a joy ride last week and totally wrecked. Besides a black eye, Raph didn't speak to me for almost three whole days, even after I had apologized constantly and tried to make things right.

I didn't know the bike still needed work.

"YAHH!" Raph screamed, whirling around with his sais drawn. Donnie yelped too, bumping his head from where he had been under the bike fixing it. Something fell over on the ground, and through an unfortunate chain reaction... Raph's bike was TOTALED.

That was the last straw. For both of them.

"MIKEY! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Donnie yelled as he got up and stared at the wreckage I somehow managed to cause. He didn't look at me after that but I knew he was pissed. Oddly enough it wasn't him I knew I should've been worried about.

"Ya damn idiot! First ya wreck my bike, now ya went and wrecked everything else!" Raph practically hollered in my face. I backed away, looking and feeling like I was probably going to die tonight... how ironic, now that I think about it.

"Yeep! R-Raphie, I-"

"Shut up wit that stupid nickname! Betta yet, just SHUT THE HELL UP! I can't take it anymore!" He was still advancing toward me, and by now I had backed up against the door, hoping he wouldn't pummel me into a bloody pulp.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"Shut up, MIKEY." he said my name with deadly malice, the hate in his eyes very evident. "Shut up and get the fuck out of here before I REALLY get angry."

I made one last attempt to apologize, but Donnie was in a full blown rambling session and I couldn't get around Raph. "Guys, really I didn't mean to do that. I didn't."

"Mikey, ya annoying excuse fer a ninja, get OUT! God, I hate you... I hate you. No one likes to deal with a happy idiot who only thinks about comics and games! Make me sick..." Raph pushed me aside and turned away to see what Donnie was able to fix.

I stared at the two shells in front of me. "Y-You... don't mean that... r-right Raphie?" I asked timidly, my eyes filling with tears.

"Actually, I do. Everyone is about had it wit ya. Even Masta Splinta. All you do is cause trouble. Why not make yaself useful for one and go dissapper somewhere? Fall off a building, go ANYWHERE but here! That way no one here has to see ya ugly mug or clean up afta the baby ya are!" Raph yelled, glarig daggers at me.

Donnie turned around, too, and for a moment I thought he would at least try and tell Raph he was going too far, that they were just angry for what I did. Instead...

"Mikey, go away. Get OUT." Both of them turned back around and ignored me standing there, my whole being shattered.

"O-okay... I will." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I quietly left the lab and went back to my room, locking the door and then going to sit on my bed.

I pulled my legs up and buried my face in my arms, warm tears running down my cheeks. I mean... was I really that annoying? That horrible that they all wished I would disappear?

I clamped my eyes shut and couldn't stop the shudders that ran through my body, or the sobs that broke free from my mouth. 'Am I really that terrible a brother...? I just wanted to get them to lighten up, was that so much to ask?'

I always knew I was an oddball. But I knew that my brothers needed to see that life doesn't have to be hard just because we're turtles. That wasn't so wrong, right?

I eventually pulled myself together, left my room, and without telling a soul, quietly left the lair to go topside. I never went up there alone, but tonight seemed to the be the exception.

They wanted me to disappear. They should know me... I will do anything to keep them happy.

And I needed to pull down this mask for good. It hurts... God, this all hurts and I wish it would just go away! But I'm not like my brothers.

I'm... me.

I understood what that mask was that night. It hurt to pull off, but it never changed anything about who I was and who I wanted to be... who I wanted my brothers to see.

When I got topside, I started to run. I didn't notice how cold it was at that point, I didn't care I had nothing to keep me warm, I didn't even notice my tears were still falling. It was me and my nunchucks.

I ran. And ran and ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore.

Pausing to catch my breath, I looked up at the sky. Even though it was almost winter, there were so many stars and I was content with just sitting out here, until I heard a sound behind me. Nunchucks whirring, I turned to face my opponent.

The Foot... and the Elite Foot, too? Aw, shell... I can't fight these guys alone!

"Ah, a lone turtle. Master Shredder will be pleased." one of the Elite said. Raising his spear, he screamed the order to attack, sending waves of Foot Ninja after me, with the three Elite right behind them.

As I fought, I realized that the cold was starting to affect me- badly. I was sluggish and was taking hits left and right. My thoughts were murky, but mostly, of my brothers and the arguments I caused tonight.

Somehow... this battle felt different because of it. But I wasn't sure why...

Jolted out of my thoughts, I failed to notice I had fallen on the ground and didn't see a glint of sliver streaking across the sky... until I screamed.

They got me good. My stomach was practically slashed in half, and blood was pooling around me at an alarming rate. I shut my eyes and awaited the final blow, my head still too foggy and my body too cold to want to defend myself.

But they didn't. One of the Elite forced my head up to face him, his breath smelling of something... racid. He was grinning, I think, but that red scarf around his mouth made it kinda hard for me to tell.

"We shall leave your pathetic body for your brothers to find. Then we shall do what we have done to you... and deliver your heads on a platter to our Master."

My eyes fluttered closed for a moment, I wanted so badly to just sleep... but I was jolted awake when a Foot Ninja stabbed my thigh with an arrow, a piece of paper attached to it. Probably for... for my brothers again...

'M-My... b-brothers... I'm sorry. For everything...'

I don't know when I was left alone or at what point I was able to move myself to a nearby door before my body refused to fight any longer. I slumped heavily against the rooftop, coughing and shuddering from the cold.

When I looked back at the sky again... I felt myself smiling. It was really pretty for a New York night. Not a cloud anywhere...

'You need to get that brain you don't seem to have been born with out of the damn clouds and GROW. UP.'

Was this what Leo meant...? I... I don't want to grow up. I never wanted to feel that anger Raph felt every day. I NEVER wanted to endure the stress of feeling responsible for the safety of our family like Leo. I don't know how to keep us alive and well and fix everything like Donnie.

This is what I am. A child at heart. It's all I knew, and I thought they knew too. I don't want to change...

I wanted to be Mikey... I wanted to be ME.

But no one needs someone like me now.

Letting my eyes close for what I believed was the final time, I wondered if they would miss me when I died. I'm not going to make it home nor am I going to try. All of them wanted me to disappear... I guess I will then.

Did they know that they were growing apart as a family? We are all we have, and while I know I annoy them, I do it because it makes them laugh, gives them reason to smile... makes them remember even when things are dark and we wonder why we do what we do, we are always going to have each other.

I hated seeing them fight, seeing them grow so cold and distant... I... I didn't want to lose them.

But I lost myself... somehow I did, and I was scared. Now I don't have to be.

I can't feel anything anymore... it's so cold outside... and I'm scared to die like this, but I know I died fighting. I took a few Foot down too, you know.

'So... sorry... L-Leo... Raphie... Don...nie...'

I always knew I'd keep them happy. No matter what the cost.

*In the Lair*

Leo, Donnie and Raph entered the living room at the same time, Raph the only one still somewhat angered by the events from earlier today. Leo didn't even want to ask, not too much in the mood to deal with Raph's temper.

"Huh. The TV is actually Mikey free?" Leo noted as he sat down and flipped the TV on. Raph jumped over the worn out couch and plopped next to him, watching whatever Leo had on with little interest.

"That punk better not come out either! When I get my hands on him, I'm gonna-"

Leo glanced sideways at him. "That's enough, Raph. We all need to have a talk with Mikey later. His behavior has gotten worse lately." Raph huffed but said nothing more on the matter.

"The lair has been pretty quiet... do you think we went a little too far?" Donnie worriedly asked as he sat on the ground next to Leo. He felt bad for saying what he said about his baby brother, even if he drove him nuts.

Raph shrugged it off before snatching the remote and changing the channel. "Ah, who cares. That bonehead's probably sulkin' in his room. Sides, we need some peace from that idiot."

Leo shoo his head. Something didn't feel right. He had a sinking feeling Mikey wasn't in the lair, and quickly got up and ran to his room to check. Within seconds he was back, and Donnie caught a glimpse of pure worry and fear on the leader's face.

"Leo? Is he alright?" Donnie asked, catching Raphael's attention. "What's wrong?"

Leo shook his head, looking at the jackets they kept hanging on a rack... there were still four. His brown eyes widened.

"Mikey's not here... and it's nearly fourty degrees outside." Leo mumbled as he grabbed his clothes and a jacket for his brother. Donnie knew about the odd change in weather, and got up.

"Mikey's immune system is the weakest out of all of us! He could catch pneumonia out there!"

Raph looked over his shoulder, watching as his two brothers bundled up. "Why no just call the idiot? He's probably at Case and Ape's house."

Donnie agreed and pulled out his ShellCell. But when he turned the tracker on, he let out a gasp.

"M-Mikey's on the opposite side of town... near the Foot Headquarters..." he stuttered out, looking at Leo. Leo returned the same horrified look.

"Let's go. NOW."

This time, Raph knew it was bad if Leo's voice had fear lacing each word. Without arguing, all three had bundled and ran out of the lair, failing to notice their wise father standing near the door to his room, his hands shaking as he watched his sons go.

"My sons... I fear you may be too late to save him..."

*TMNT*TMNT*TMNT*

"How much father, Donnie?!" Raph yelled as the three ninja jumped from rooftop to rooftop, keeping their eyes peeled for their youngest family member.

"Not too much farther now!"

Leo felt that uneasy feeling twisting and turning inside him. He knew... he didn't know how, but he knew. Something bad happened to Mikey and they may of caused it to happen.

'Mikey... please be alright. I am so sorry for what I said, but I'm worried you'll get yourself hurt.'

Donnie slowed his run down to a walk, looking at his tracking device with confusion. It wasn't until he looked up and dead ahead that he let out a yell to his older brothers.

"Mikey?! MIKEY! Guys, hurry! Mikey's hurt!"

Leo and Raph sped up, soon catching up to the purple banded turtle. Both of them froze at the sight of their beloved Mikey, head slumped forward and blood pooling all around him. Dozens of Foot Ninja lay unconscious or dead around them.

"Oh God... i-is he..." Raph, for once, could not find the words he knew he needed to say. Donnie shook his head no.

"His pulse... it's barely there..." Donatello whispered, his voice cracking. He touched Mikey's hand and added, "He's freezing, and he's lost so much blood. Even if we got him back home... I don't think he's going to make it through the night..."

Raph and Leo bent next to Donnie as he quickly looked over Mikey's injuries. As he worked, Leo heard a faint sound coming from him and leaned closer to Mikey's lips. His heart almost lept out of his chest when he felt a light breeze caress his cheek.

"Guys... Mikey's still breathing... we need to get him out of here, NOW." He wrapped Mikey's cold body in the spare jacket and instructed Raph to carry him.

"Mikey? Hey man, can ya hear me?" Raph asked, suddenly feeling awful at everything he had screamed at him earlier. He had to make it up to him and say he was sorry.

He sighed in brief happiness when Mikey groaned, although it was faint. "Just stay with me, Mike. We've got ya."

As the brothers started to head back to a nearby manhole, Mikey began to cough, blood leaking from his mouth. His head lolled against Raph's chest as the coughing took full control over his weakened, chilled form.

"Mikey?!" Raph was petrified; he didn't know what to do! They stopped, Raph kneeling on the cold concrete of the rooftop, and turned Mikey on his side so he could at least breathe.

Blue eyes, glazed and unbearably tired, finally opened, and he struggled to lift his head to look up at his oldest brothers. Once he saw a splash of red in his view, a tiny, shaky smile slowly formed.

"R-Raphie..." he muttered quietly. His hazy mind struggled to remember why he was outside... wasn't he in the lair? He couldn't remember.

"I...I'm... sorry..."

"Mikey, listen to me! Don't give up just yet! You hear me?" Leo said, watching as his brother's eyes struggled to stay open, and it was then he came to a terrifying conclusion.

Mikey knew he wasn't going to make it. He knew, and he fought as hard as he could in the event he died... he would die fighting...

'No... NO! He fought against so many alone in the cold?! He should've called for help! He should've at least tried to run and hide someplace safe! But who could blame him... we pushed him so far away tonight...'

He placed a warmer hand on his cheek, letting his pride completely fall. 'We're being selfish. He can't go on like this, and he's so weak... he deserves to sleep now. He doesn't need to struggle for us anymore. He... can't.'

"Hang on, little brother. Please..." Donnie was crying freely now, his hands stained with Mikey's life force. Raph was letting his tears fall, letting a side of him show that Leo wished with all his might he didn't have to see now.

Not for their young brother... not for their light.

Mikey's smile became rather lopsided, and he focused hard on Leo's face before he slowly shook his head again. "N-no one... wants me... any more..." he breathed, shattering the silence and his brother's minds. His whole body slumped once more against Raph's chest and his eyes drooped halfway.

For some odd reason, the thoughtful expression on the usually upbeat and cheerful surfer turtle's face bothered Leo. He wasn't supposed to look like that... he wasn't supposed to die at 17!

He wasn't supposed to feel so lost and alone when he had three older brothers who swore to keep his light shining. So how did the roles switch?

"Don't... need me..."

"NO! That's not true!" Donnie yelled, reaching over and grabbing his brother's shoulders. No one made to stop him, and the two eldest looked up at one another, the same look exchanged between both: guilt.

Guilt for what they had told him, guilt for treating him like a used doll when all he wanted to keep the family together. Guilt for never keeping him as safe as the believed they did.

"We need you, Mikey! We need you because you're our BROTHER! You... you keep us sane, and you make us laugh even we we want to do nothing but wander around and let our anger take over... you give us hope... you have to hold on!"

"D-Donnie." he whispered simply, looking at him. "I... can't."

He sighed before allowing his body to relax. The jacket felt nice, but having Raph holding him brought memories of their childhood back to the young turtle. Mostly of him cuddling with his older brothers every time he had a nightmare... or giving comfort when they needed it most.

The older turtles looked at one another before Leo spoke again, fully understanding what Mikey meant, but still refusing to let him sleep.

"We want you to come home, Mikey. We need to make this right." Leo choked on his own words as he watched Mikey's breathing slowing down and becoming labored from the cold.

The bundle Raph held so closely to his chest reminded Leo of their childhood, when all they had was each other. On the harshest of nights, and on the baddest of days, Mikey kept reminding them that they are a family and they would make it through anything as long as they stuck together as a team and as brothers.

"Please, Mikey... please forgive us. We never meant for this to happen... we all failed you. I failed you."

All three siblings let out a gasp when Mikey firmly shook his head, somehow gathering all the strength he had left in him to say one last thing to his brothers. His hand moved from under the jacket and grasped at Donnie's hand with the little strength he had left.

"Y-You... didn't fail... I... I just wanted... y-y-you all... to remember... we're a f-family. I'm sorry... for everything I did..." he whispered, his teeth chattering. He closed his eyes in exhaustion and Raph felt his full weight as he slumped against him once again.

"Love you... I love you guys."

'I feel... warm now. Probably cause Raphie's so cozy, like a pillow! I don't feel cold anymore. I died fighting. I died... protecting them. I'm sorry I was never the brother you guys wanted. But... I'm happy. I'm happy now.'

Raph shook his head in denial as he felt Mikey's body go still, and watched the last of his brother's life force flowing freely. He had let go.

His brother had peacefully died in his arms, surrounding by three turtles who had always kept him safe, a small smile forever frozen on his features.

"L-Leo, he's dead..." Donnie whispered, staring in disbelief at the sight, still holding on to Mikey's now cold and limp hand. Leo said nothing, pulling Donnie's shaking frame to him and shifting so he was closer to Raph.

"H-He... he's sleeping now. Let him sleep." Leo got out in a pained whisper before he bowed his head. He couldn't cry now, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't stop them from falling either.

Raph refused to look at any of them, but instead, lowered his head until he could feel Mikey's forehead touching his. "I'm sorry... Mikey, I'm sorry... I'm sorry!" he screamed in agony, letting out massive sobs over his dead baby brother.

Donnie turned away and buried his face in Leo's shoulder. The leader, for once, was utterly lost. He didn't know what to think or how his family was going to push past this. He stole another look at the innocently peaceful expression on Mikey's face and closed his eyes.

'Mikey... somehow, you always knew when we needed you to brighten our days. You always put us before yourself. And we pushed you away so many times. You knew... we needed you tonight. You knew and you wanted to help us remember that... we are a family.'

After what seemed like hours, the three remaining turtles gathered their fallen sibling and silently headed back home. They had a lot to do in preparing Michelangelo's funeral... and the long journey to healing was going to be the hardest part of it all.

*TMNT*TMNT*TMNT*

'For some reason... I know we're going to be alright.' Donnie numbly thought as the night has finally drawn to a close. He had cleaned Mikey's body and covered him up, but as he prepared to lay the white sheet over his face, he halted.

He didn't want things to end like this. He didn't want Mikey to sleep forever- he should've been stubborn and forced him to stay alive!

'Leo was right. Mikey has done so much for us... so much we took for pure granted.' With a last goodbye kiss on his cold forehead, Donatello brought the sheet gently over his baby brother's face and stood back.

'He can still keep his smile even in death... it amazes me. We will miss you, Michelangelo. But we will be together soon... and we will make up for all the pain we caused you. I promise.'

Donatello turned out the light and stepped out of the lab and didn't notice his older brothers holding on to him for dear life. He barely heard his father speaking to them and giving them the tightest hug for an aged rat he'd ever felt.

But the fact was, even though it cost them great pain, they were together as a family. They had each other in this dark and hard time, and even when it got to be too much, there was another who was willing to share the massive amount of grief.

'He would have wanted this.' Donatello vaguely thought as he and his remaining family got ready to face the many tasks- and days- ahead. He smiled knowing someone else was standing with them, making sure they stood as strong as ever.

Looking once more at the dark lab behind him, he muttered softly, "Mikey, you idiot. Somehow... you always knew."

END

And finished!

Honestly, I have no clue if it was good or not. I never had the urge to write a character death fic before, even though I've read tons of them. I had the idea in my head for a bit now and I finally had time to get it out so... yeah. I consider it a first step into new territory, so forgive me if it isn't all that great.

Reviews and constructive feedback are appreciated!

Until next time!